Help DIS Homeschoolers Help me convince my DH

[TinkerbellMama]

Do you only have one child who is 1?

I could never teach my kids certain things like Latin, higher math skills, chemistry. I barely made it out of chemistry myself. I hope he does better than I did!!

Yes, I only have one biological child who is 1.

I am fully qualified to teach him Latin, math, and chemistry, though!

Did you know you can even get some of the Dr. Seuss books in Latin? There are a LOT of resources for homeschooling parents who are interested in teaching topics they aren't very familiar with, themselves.
I have homeschooled a child before and it was a lot of fun. A challenge, but fun! No parent need ever feel unqualified to teach just because he or she doesn't have an advanced degree in every subject!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Access and commitment are pretty useless without KNOWLEDGE about the various subjects you will be teaching.

I'm getting the feeling a lot of people don't understand what is required of an elementary school teacher for licensure...

It definitely does not involve advanced degrees in myriad subjects. I don't understand why people feel a teacher who MUCH more likely than not has less formal education than I do would be any better at teaching my child than I am. Makes no sense to me.

I'm not saying teachers aren't generally well-educated folks who are committed to their jobs. I'm just saying they're not more well-qualified than I am. I am very familiar with the topics taught to future teachers, and most of it involves classroom management rather than incessant drilling on the topics which will be taught.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I didn't read every response and I am not taking sides. Whatever you chose is your business- but- I have had the opportunity to meet a few homeschooled children and to be quite honest I felt socially they were not on par with kids their age. They were either much older than their years - which to me is almost sad because they were like little adults rather than children, or very meek and clingy. Now this is just my opinion from what I have observed. They were also very sweet children, but I think that is more from the parenting rather than the homeschooling aspect.

 

[laceemouse]

After many years in PS we are now hsing our 4 kids. We do co-op, church, scouts, ect. My oldest is gifted and was bored in school. The work was tedious and she got to the point where she refused to do it so she made bad grades. My son is a great reader but has motor skills issues and was drowning in paperwork. We were in "great" schools but they never thought he was bad enough to get help. He has a high IQ also but said he was dumb all the time. My youngest is a struggling reader and I just honestly feel that they were pressuring her to read way beyond grade level....why? We love being at home but we also get help with the tougher subjects. We love choosing our own curriculum and moving at our own pace. We love making our own schedule. ALL of my kids are reading WAY MORE at home than they ever did when they were in school. I remember the jr high teachers saying "It is so sad kids never read for fun anymore" Well, how in the world CAN they when they have 4 or five hours of homework a night? The kids at our jr high were walking zombies! And don't get me started on the drugs, trashy clothes, oral s*x parties,bullies, teachers and textbooks with no morals, ect.....
Read lots of books, it is a BIG decision to make!

 

[laceemouse]

I didn't read every response and I am not taking sides. Whatever you chose is your business- but- I have had the opportunity to meet a few homeschooled children and to be quite honest I felt socially they were not on par with kids their age. They were either much older than their years - which to me is almost sad because they were like little adults rather than children, or very meek and clingy. Now this is just my opinion from what I have observed. They were also very sweet children, but I think that is more from the parenting rather than the homeschooling aspect.

My oldest is very independent and honestly she was born that way. I think she acts WAY older than 15 because she has no interest in all of the superficial garbage and drama that her peers thrive on. She wants to start college early and go to law school. My youngest is a social butterfly, it has nothing to do with how she is schooled. My other 2 are a little more quiet and shy. God made them that way, not school. Parents these days are so concerned about their kids being popular, do they know what that means? YUCK!

 

[Brier Rose]

My oldest is very independent and honestly she was born that way. I think she acts WAY older than 15 because she has no interest in all of the superficial garbage and drama that her peers thrive on. She wants to start college early and go to law school. My youngest is a social butterfly, it has nothing to do with how she is schooled. My other 2 are a little more quiet and shy. God made them that way, not school. Parents these days are so concerned about their kids being popular, do they know what that means? YUCK!

Your kids sound so much like mine!

I'm sure some might find it sad that DD acts so "adult", but she has just always been that way!

She doesn't get the whole silly way a lot of girls her age act, and just doesn't feel the need to fit in, or be popular. (but she is btw!)
All she talks about is going to college, and her plans for the future.

She has this confidence that I never had! She can walk into a room of kids her age and not care less that she doesn't know any of them. I could have never done that! I was much too shy.

DS on the other hand is a little more timid. He's just quiet and reserved. I think he doesn't quite know how to handle a lot of the loud horseplay that boys his age tend to do. It takes him a little bit to get warmed up, but after that he's fine.

Just different personalities..not different schooling.

Most people are usually shocked when they find out they're homeschooled, and not to brag , but I always get so many compliments on how well behaved they are.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My kids are very independent and when they walk into a room other kids seem to gravitate to them. They will walk up to anyone and start a conversation. They are not shy and are usually the life of the party. I was nothing like this at their age. I am nothing like this at my current age! I think my earlier opinion got somehow miscontstrued. I am not saying that I am so concerned that my kids are popular and the such. DH and I always encourage our kids to be themselves and not worry about anything else. Even though my kids are young, they act older than their age and are very smart. When I said that the children that I met that were homeschooled acted older, I meant not so much that they weren't interested in the drama of the teen years, but rather in the way they carried themselves. I don't really know how to explain it but it almost seemed like they were bored adults? I am trying to put it into words and I know this is sorely lacking. I am not putting down anyone who homeschools- you know what's best for your kids, but I am just stating my experience. I do have a question and it is ot meant as any type of insult, I am just curious so please don't be offended- I understand that each child learns differently and that there is bullying and drugs and other things at school, and of course I want to shelter my kids as long and as much as possible, but what happens when these children go off to college and they never had to encounter these things and now all of a sudden they have to conform to class rules and be exposed to alot more stuff? How will they function in a workplace when they have to do thing's the boss' way? I am not asking these questons to be rude or debate with anyone, I am genuinely interested as I don't really know that much about homeschooling and find it interesting that people do it. So without putting down those of us who chose PS can you tell a bit more about it? Thanks!

 

[Brier Rose]

I do have a question and it is ot meant as any type of insult, I am just curious so please don't be offended- I understand that each child learns differently and that there is bullying and drugs and other things at school, and of course I want to shelter my kids as long and as much as possible, but what happens when these children go off to college and they never had to encounter these things and now all of a sudden they have to conform to class rules and be exposed to alot more stuff? How will they function in a workplace when they have to do thing's the boss' way? I am not asking these questons to be rude or debate with anyone, I am genuinely interested as I don't really know that much about homeschooling and find it interesting that people do it. So without putting down those of us who chose PS can you tell a bit more about it? Thanks!

As far as following class rules and such, my kids follow rules now so I don't see how that would be that much different. They respect authority period, so it's a given that they will not have a problem with being told to do something by a teacher/boss other than me.

It's not really like they are being catered to in the way you seem to think. Sure I have the flexibility to be able to tailor their education to their needs/likes, but that's really just to learn the basics.

Above all I try to teach them to have an open mind, and to always learn from every experience. There are many things they can learn from many people, not just me!

I really can't say how they will handle being exposed to things they never have been before.

My best guess is that they will do just fine! At some point everyone was exposed to things they never have been before, most likely as young children. I would think their chances of handling it are better as young adults rather than worse.

They are having a chance to grow and become their own person, and be strong in that.They're not worried about "fitting in", or being pressured by thier peer group.

Will they be sometime in the future..sure! I just hope like any other parent they will be strong enough to make the right choices.

I would not ever put down someone because they don't homeschool.
It is NOT the best choice for everyone to be sure, but I love it!

I can't tell you how blessed and lucky I feel to be able to do this. It is not a chore to me, I truly see it as a privilege.

 

[barkley]

i havent read all the responses, but i'll share our family's past experience with homeschooling. my bil and then sil homeschooled all 3 of their children and all 3 were involved in socialization with other homeschoolers as well as members of their church. but as most things go with socializing-they (as well as their parents) chose to gravitate towards the homeschoolers who most shared their opinions and world views and did most of their socializing with them. flash forward several years to a nasty divorce wherein the courts end up involved and the kids are subject to an evaluation to determine placement. while all 3 performed educationaly several YEARS above their age wise grade level they all were determined to be several YEARS socialy immature. the courts decided on a custody placement but also ordered that the children could NOT return to homeschooling. it was ultimatly determined that they could not enter public school because they did not have the social skills such that they could go into the appropriate level (the middle school aged kids were scored at needing to be with kids around 3rd/4th socialy and the upper elementary child around 1st/2nd). they ended up in a private school that could provide a mixed offering of age appropriate curriculum and maturity appropriate social interactions.

i know this is an extreeme situation-but i think it drives home the need for anyone who is considering homeschooling to check into what social interactions are available in your area, and weather you will be comfortable in fully experiencing these with the variety of people you may encounter. i think you also have to find avenue outside of homeschooling groups and sports (seems to be the other popular choice) to further expose the children to the variety of people they will ultimatly have to encounter in day to day life.

for some homeschooling is a great alternative to teaching methods that are not working for them, but i think it is a disservice to the student to use it as a means of curing having to deal with less than comfortable social interactions (hellish ones-yes, but the normal annoying stuff is part of growing up).

 

[K&KsMom]

This thread caught my interest.......my opinion about HSing is from an educators stand point. If hsing is preparing the students for a higher education than great however if they are only working on real life skills how is this helping them for college? I think there needs to be a balance between academics and daily living skills. It can't be all of one.
In our state it is becoming more common to home school as classroom sizes are increasing and state funding is decreasing. For my family this wouldn't work. My boys love school and thrive on the natural competition to push themselves to achieve higher. I am a teacher and don't think I could teach them all day plus be their mom. I stay home with them but teaching them would be different. I fill in the gaps and expand on what they are learning.
I am not sure there is a right or wrong to this discussion.......it is purely based on individual families and what will work for them.

 

[disnutt]

No offense but asking a homeschooler if their children are socialized is the same as asking a parent who's kid is spoiled if they are spoiled. Of course the homeschoolers are going to defend what they are doing if they didn't they shouldn't be doing it.
QUOTE]


Asking a public school teacher what they think about HSers will also get you a biased answer. Someone's livelihood is at stake I don't think they are going to be able to provide an uncompromised opinion.

 

[disnutt]

In high school I was taught History for 3 yrs by the football coach-he had a PE degree. In my senior yr I finally got someone who had a History degree but he specialized in Western European history and he was teaching me a course in US current events. He was learning as he taught.

My freshman Bio teacher was a newly minted BS degreed teacher. He looked like Ichabod Crane and we students didn't let him forget it. As part of our 'socialization program' we stole frog parts from our disection projects and placed them about the school. Poor Ichabod got reamed by the principal for not being able to control the class (mind you I was in the college prep group allegedly the most advanced/best behaved group). Who was boss in THAT class for the rest of the year? We were! He quit teaching after that and went into some research lab. (While we should all be ashamed of this episode we all remembered it fondly at our 20 yr reunion!)

Let's not talk about the English teacher who was sooooo old that she knew Geoffrey Chaucer in grammar school! She had no idea how to communicate w/ the students of our day (78-82) we didn't learn very much.

I'm learning that things aren't much different in my DD school. She's finishing 4th grade and we were blessed w/ a good teacher. However, I've learned that some of the upcoming teachers aren't so good. Some of them wanted to teach another grade level but had to take the 1st available job just to get in the 'system'.

I hope the OP is able to gather enough information to help her and DH make the best decision for their family. I just know that considering what I experienced my DH and I are ready to HS our kids.

 

[Brier Rose]

This thread caught my interest.......my opinion about HSing is from an educators stand point. If hsing is preparing the students for a higher education than great however if they are only working on real life skills how is this helping them for college? I think there needs to be a balance between academics and daily living skills. It can't be all of one.

I'm really confused by this!

Do you think that most homeschooled kid's daily lessons consist of washing clothes, baking, and cleaning house??

I don't know one homeschooled family..not one...who is not training for higher education.

Have you ever even looked at the homeschool curriculums out there?

My DS uses the same curriculum that many of the private schools here use. Not like it..the exact same!

My DD uses an online school where she has acess to AP courses, as well as SAT prep, and help with college placement!

 

[noodleknitter]

I'm really confused by this!

Do you think that most homeschooled kid's daily lessons consist of washing clothes, baking, and cleaning house??

I don't know one homeschooled family..not one...who is not training for higher education.

Have you ever even looked at the homeschool curriculums out there?

My DS uses the same curriculum that many of the private schools here use. Not like it..the exact same!

My DD uses an online school where she has acess to AP courses, as well as SAT prep, and help with college placement!

Strange, isn't it? What I do know about the academics of the HS students in our lives over the last 14 years is that I've written 68 college letters of recomendation for the students, and 65 have been accepted into their first choice college, ranging from Ivy League to the local community college...and none of them have had to take remedial classes. As if a college should ever have to offer them!

We have 3 in college currently, and the colleges are already courting our 15 year old and our 12 year old. I know one mom with a high school degree who has one child at MIT, and another doing an internship in DC. She is as incredible teacher.

I love the idea that teachers are experts. An extra 3 or 4 classes in history, science, etc., does not make one an expert at anything. And the elementery grade teachers spend their time learning how to make lesson plans, and learning all of the hogwash of the NEA. There are many teachers who strive to give a quality education, but there are just as many that sit in the teacher's lounge witchin' and moanin' about what brats the students are, how stupid the parent's are, and how crappy the pay is. It is the luck of the draw as to which any child gets.

 

[barkley]

one of the complaints i've heard from college professors re. homeschoolers and some independant study/own pace structured private/public school grads is that there can be a difficult adjustment on the student's part to the traditional college lecture class environment. they've experienced some students have tremendous frustration in not being able to take a concept within a subject matter and explore it as much as they personaly desired. they've also had some students who were honestly shocked that they could not have the requirements of the course more personaly structured to their needs (asking for the option of writing on a different topic because they want to explore it more, requesting unreasonable extentions on papers/tests because they were used to taking the subject matter at their own pace). they've also had to make it very clear to their students from day one that the class is a lecture based course and not a open-ended discussion seminar.

the other issue they've encountered with students (be it hs or alternative learning methods that limit interaction with multiple instructors) is somewhat lacking skills in both study/time managament and writing a variety of different college level papers. they share that with a more self paced eduction there are not the time constraints and deadlines that college students will face in their courses, there is also not the viable option to set aside temporarily one subject in favor of focusing more in depth on another. with the writing skills it seems to be that not having a variety of writing opportunities (expository, creative, bsns. style...) that have been critiqued by multiple instructors with different levels of expertese/expectation the skills may be outstanding in one area but severly lacking in another.

i know of one young lady who was homeschooled the bulk of her life by her mother, a tremendously talented and well thought of educator. when the young lady hit high school she and her parents opted to have her attend some a.p. classes at her well regarded public highschool. she shared that it was a rather difficult adjustment to be in an academic situation that was group rather than individualy driven-and it made her reconsider weather she would be comfortable in a traditional college setting. ultimatly she opted to drop out of traditional college and locate an independant learning degree program (although she was limited in what she could study in this manner).

i think that any non traditional education program needs to take into consideration that the bulk of higher educational opportunities are still based on the traditional classroom methodology. as well, with few career exceptions-there are few jobs that permit a self paced approach to completing tasks and assignments. generaly speaking, while being able to whip something out and accomplish it in record time may work for an individual project-any group projects are reliant on everyone working together at an established pace within the project timelines.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This thread is so interesting! I can totally realte to both sides of the coin here. Anyone else have mpre experiences to share?

 

[LizzySwan1022]

I don't homeschool, but I suggest sports teams or summer camp. Some of my best friends were not met at school.

 

[Brier Rose]

one of the complaints i've heard from college professors re. homeschoolers and some independant study/own pace structured private/public school grads is that there can be a difficult adjustment on the student's part to the traditional college lecture class environment. they've experienced some students have tremendous frustration in not being able to take a concept within a subject matter and explore it as much as they personaly desired. they've also had some students who were honestly shocked that they could not have the requirements of the course more personaly structured to their needs (asking for the option of writing on a different topic because they want to explore it more, requesting unreasonable extentions on papers/tests because they were used to taking the subject matter at their own pace). they've also had to make it very clear to their students from day one that the class is a lecture based course and not a open-ended discussion seminar.

the other issue they've encountered with students (be it hs or alternative learning methods that limit interaction with multiple instructors) is somewhat lacking skills in both study/time managament and writing a variety of different college level papers. they share that with a more self paced eduction there are not the time constraints and deadlines that college students will face in their courses, there is also not the viable option to set aside temporarily one subject in favor of focusing more in depth on another. with the writing skills it seems to be that not having a variety of writing opportunities (expository, creative, bsns. style...) that have been critiqued by multiple instructors with different levels of expertese/expectation the skills may be outstanding in one area but severly lacking in another.

i know of one young lady who was homeschooled the bulk of her life by her mother, a tremendously talented and well thought of educator. when the young lady hit high school she and her parents opted to have her attend some a.p. classes at her well regarded public highschool. she shared that it was a rather difficult adjustment to be in an academic situation that was group rather than individualy driven-and it made her reconsider weather she would be comfortable in a traditional college setting. ultimatly she opted to drop out of traditional college and locate an independant learning degree program (although she was limited in what she could study in this manner).

i think that any non traditional education program needs to take into consideration that the bulk of higher educational opportunities are still based on the traditional classroom methodology. as well, with few career exceptions-there are few jobs that permit a self paced approach to completing tasks and assignments. generaly speaking, while being able to whip something out and accomplish it in record time may work for an individual project-any group projects are reliant on everyone working together at an established pace within the project timelines.

barkley-
I understand what you're saying, but IMO the kids in your example are not that way just because they were homeschooled, but because they were spoiled!

Sure we work at our own pace at this point, because we can. Doesn't mean they can't or wouldn't work at a pace given to them by someone else in charge.

Like I said, we teach them to respect authority period. They know if a teacher/coach, etc.. told them when and how to do something they better follow directions!

And while all homeschoolers differ in what programs they use, I for one use programs where we DO have deadlines and time constraints.

It sounds like these kids were a product of poor preperation on the parents part. Obviously the kids wouldn't have been shocked and surprised to find out college works a little differently if they had been warned before hand.

Every person alive will have an "adjustment period" when trying new things, weather it be going to a school like setting for the first time, or moving from a small country town to the big city.

They may flouder a little, it may take some time to get in the groove of things,but so???

To me it's not about how fast they adjust, but can they adjust, and most times the answer will be yes!

Just for the record, I know several public and private school students, my sister included, that couldn't make the change from high school to college.
Happens all the time to all types of students regardless of educational background.

I think what it boils down to is that people have this vision of homeschooled kids being locked away and isolated from the world around them.

And I'll say till I'm blue in the face that just IS NOT TRUE!!!

They are part of teams, they do group projects, they learn from lots of different sources NOT just their parents, and lots of times get graded by different people too!

They ARE NOT raised thinking the world revolves around them, and that their way is the only way! Quite different actually.

And I know this is all ready long, but I just have to say I don't agree with the attitude of some of these professors you mention. I would think they would be glad that a student shows interest in the subject matter beyond what is assigned.

 

[Jon99]

A couple of years ago we had a homeschooled kid play on our youth football team, his 7th grade year he was horrible, didn't know the first thing about football or how to relate to the other kids..

His 8th grade year he improved a TON, though his social skills were horrible.. He could carry on a great conversation with me, but would struggle to say his to the other kids.. His track skills were very impressive, his time in the 400 would have put him in the top 10 in the state of Illinois, just a very good athlete..

He wanted to attend the local high school, he said he wanted to be with the other kids and play sports.. His parents said no...

Saw him just tonight, was standing along the fence watching the high school kids go thru a summer football conditioning program.. Stopped to talk to him and it was awful hearing him talk about wanting to play football.. Sorry, but his parents are frickin idiots!

 

[hsmamato2]

I have taught in public schools for 17 years and have coached youth football for 16.. In my time, we have had 4 home schooled kids play youth football and their social skills were just awful, had a hard time even saying hi to the other kids. I just cringe when I even hear people mention home schooling as a solution.

Won't even get into the educational factors as these kids head into junior high and high school...

To the OP- homeschooling is NOT rare, it is a huge and growing movement- and as others have advised you, get online and google homeschool for your state, you'll come up with huge numbers of contacts. Get to know some groups in your area- Engage yourself and your husband in learning all you can about what homeschooling really is, you may be surprised!
...Haven't read the whole thread,sorry, had to address this... I have kids , we homeschool. My kids won't EVER need to go to a school for socialization, thanks but no thanks!
C'mon, we all know that some schools can be great for some kids, but a huge percentage of families and communites are expending HUGE resources just to try and stem the tide of problems that are so common now.I'm not going into every one- we are all familiar with them, those of us who keep our kids out of school for these reasons, and those of us who are struggling to make sure our kids get everything they deserve,even in a situation that may not be the easiest place to do that,a school.
My own kids have no problem meeting new kids,and getting along with them. They also,like MOST homeschooled kids I know,(and a tiny percentage of schooled kids) are completely at ease in new and challenging situations,and are completely confident around grownups,and kids alike. Yes indeed,able to say"hi" to others,and even carry on conversations!
WHY? Because they have had the advantage of one on one education,tailored to their needs- and the opportunity to spend lots of time, real, quality time getting to know a variety of different people, something that would never have been possible in the constaints of a typical school schedule.