HELP! Can't keep toddler in his bed!!!!!!

[cheerbop]

Our DS is just over 2 and for the past 4 weeks we have had a battle EVERY night (some night for over 2 hours!) to get him to stay in his bed! He just runs around all the time, including coming out of his room constantly.
Anyone have any ideas how to keep him in bed?!

 

[mickeymousemom]

I can't wait to hear answers for this. We are just getting ready to put DD2.5's toddler bed together and I know we're going to have the same problem(she never has climbed out of her crib)!

 

[MickeyMickey]

Lock him in his room by himself for a few minutes. Open the door, tell him you will leave the door open if he stays in there. If he comes out shut him in. After a few times with the door shut he should stay in there if you tell him you are going to close the door. Most of all, STAY FIRM!

 

[Snow Brite]

Put the bed in a corner, with the head and one side against the wall. Then put a toddler bed rail on the other side. This leaves only the foot of the bed open. Get a baby gate for his doorway.

Do the usual routine the exact same way every night (bath, jammies, story and snuggle in bed) then tell him good night and that you want him to go to sleep now.

Put some pillows at the foot of the bed (so he feels cozy and blocked in a little), close the babygate, turn off the hall light and leave. He will get out of bed. Give him some time, then tell him firmly, you need to get into bed. This will last for a while, but really he can't do much harm in his own room. He will probably fall asleep on the floor, for some reason kids sleep well on the floor. My 6 year old still does it 3 nights out of the week. Gradually, over time, it will get better. But the less of a "fight" it is, the sooner it will happen. Consistency is the key here, and containment.

Good luck, and remember that this too will pass.

 

[Sherri]

Okay girls, not a whole lot of advice here. I just want to remind you that This to Shall Pass. It does only to fast.
Maybe go to the library each week and pick out special books that are saved for bedtime ONLY and he can choose one you can read to him when he is in bed, but those special books should be different from all the other books he gets to read whenever he wants. If he looks forward to his bed time routine he may adapt to it eventually. If not he will grow out of it.
Good luck.

 

[luvmydogs]

Goodness--the memories this brings back!

Ds10 was great about sleeping in his bed until he turned 2-2 1/2, then he'd cruise the house all night. We finally had to get serious when one night @ 2am when we heard noises downstairs and our one dog started growling and snarling like someone had broken into the house--she headed into a full run down the steps with dh as I checked ds's room to find he's not there. We get downstairs and find that ds had climbed over the baby gate at the top of the steps, went downstairs and pulled up a chair in the dark and was climbing on top of the kitchen countertops--he could've fallen and cracked his head open! "What on earth are you doing up there?!!!" "Nuthin' Mommy." That night we hooked up his old baby monitor in his room, and dh took the lock from his bedroom door and switched it to the outside where we could lock him in and still hear him. Drastic, maybe, but we really felt we had no other choice at that point--we were really worried he'd hurt himself if he continued to get out. He'd still get up at night, but did realize he wasn't getting out, so he'd play or look at books or talk to me through the monitor. Then I'd find him asleep on the floor the next morning. A few months of very frustrating, sleepless nights as I remember it.

 

[Val]

Two words: Duct Tape......actually, I remember those days. We had TWO baby gates, one on top of the other, for my DS10 when he was toddler. We would find him at the top of the upper gate in the morning screaming to be let out. Tore down his wallpaper twice and we had to lock down EVERYTHING in his room.

Try rewarding him for staying in bed, keep putting him back when he gets up, and avoid eye contact and lingering. Tuck him in, say goodnight and walk away- over and over and over. Remember he may get WORSE before he gets better (technically this is called an extinction burst, I call it the mother breaker) as he is limit testing. Remember you are bigger and smarter (really, as you may doubt this after an hour of struggling!).....you will win and he will stay.

Good luck! My DS10 now has the opposite problem- he won't get OUT of the bed in the morning!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Two words: Duct Tape......

LOL, DH always pondered the idea of velcro sheets and pajamas.

When our twins were that age I read somewhere that the whole room had to become the "crib" once they were out of their actual cribs/into a toddler bed. So we placed a gate in the doorway and completely baby proofed the room.

I agree that having a consistent routine and firm approach are essential as well. They have to understand that it's not ok to either get out of their beds or come out of the room. I suppose this is easier with some kids than with others, but try to be consistent with it from the very beginning. Lots of books are great. Having a cool bed helps, too - we had the little yellow ones shaped like cars.

Good luck.

 

[trip]

One of my former neighbors had an "escape artist". He could silently scale a baby gate in what seemed like a second. They ended up replacing his regular bedroom door with a screen door that they could lock from the outside.

 

[joeymom]

I used the "shuffle" method. Kim West, the Sleep Lady, promotes this method and it seemed to work for us. I think her website is www.thesleeplady.com. Anyway, the method's philosophy is is to make the child feel comfortable in his/her new surroundings. So for the first few nights, I sat on the edge of DD's bed until she fell asleep. No talking, no contact. Next couple nights I sat on the floor next to her bed and over the next few nights I moved further and further away from the bed until finally I was able to sit outside the room, then not at all. It worked for us and didn't take that long. Before my DD moved into her big girl bed, we made a really big deal about decorating her new room, buying special sheets and comforter and the funniest thing was that she couldn't wait to move her clothes into her new room!

 

[gris gris]

Before my DD moved into her big girl bed, we made a really big deal about decorating her new room, buying special sheets and comforter and the funniest thing was that she couldn't wait to move her clothes into her new room!

We did this same thing - bought a new bed for DD and brought her to pick out her own comforter/sheets, etc....she was real excited about it.

For the first couple of months she got out of her bed constantly. I just kept going into her room and telling her to get back into her bed and to go to sleep. Some nights I had to do it 10 times but finally she'd fall asleep.

She's 3.5 now but I still keep the baby gate up. I'm paranoid that she'll leave her room and walk out the front door. She's never even tried, but it's just one of those crazy things I have in my head

 

[kelleigh1]

When my nephew first started sleeping in a bed, he constantly climbed out. (We lived together while she was going through a divorce.) In our apartment, we could hear him get out of the bed, so my sister would yell out in her stern Mom voice for him to go back to bed. He'd stop in the hallway and cry for a little bit, but we'd just ignore his cries. We could see around the corner to check on him to make sure he was ok, but he never saw us. He'd soon fall asleep and we'd just pick him up and carry him back to bed. Every night for I don't remember how long, he'd fall asleep in the hallway.

 

[Iott Family]

Well I duno if we really are smarter than they are! My little guy is 2 and so danged clever. Too clever for his own good! He too was/is an escape artist. We now have a tall baby gate on his bedroom door, locking bars and alarms on all exterior doors and a gate at the stairs. So far this is containing him in safe zones. However he does get up at night and play, chatter, read books then gets tired of that so puts himself back into bed. Because he is gated in his room and safe we dont fight the battle, we know that this will be just another phase. That is my best advice, contain him in safe zones and trust he will grow out of it. If he cries to be let out just fiirmly say no, its bedtime. Good night and leave it at that.

HTH

 

[vettechick99]

Watch Supernanny!! Last year she did an episode on this. The 2-3 year old would go down at 8, and at 1 am he was still getting up.

So Jo had the mother put him to bed, sit in the dark about 5 ft away from his bed - head down and silent - and put him back up every time he got down. No talking to him, nothing. He would cry, and cry, but she had to ignore it. I think she put him back to bed 100 times that first night. But after a few nights they broke him of it. Amazing!!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I think you are all forgetting about the "POWER OF THE MOUSE" DS4 just this week started running around at night. So I told him next time he gets up; I'm calling Mickey and telling on you. He didn't get up again....

When I went back downstairs, DH saw a grin on my face and said "what's up" I said, "I think Mickey is more powerful than Santa in the extortion game"

We'll see what happens tonight

 

[jodifla]

Yes, we had some of this, mostly when we moved. DH kept letting him climb into bed with us, and none of us were sleeping.

Finally, one night, I told him that no one in the house was getting enough sleep, and that each time he came to our room, I was going to take him right back. I did it five times the first night, three times the second night, then he gave up.

Good luck! I remember how frustrating it is.

 

[MBeds]

Lock him in his room by himself for a few minutes. Open the door, tell him you will leave the door open if he stays in there. If he comes out shut him in. After a few times with the door shut he should stay in there if you tell him you are going to close the door. Most of all, STAY FIRM!

I don't like this idea and would never do this to my kids...Just my opinion...

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I don't like this idea and would never do this to my kids...Just my opinion...

I don't like this idea either - Their room is supposed to be their sanctuary - I never do times out in there - or anything else that would leave a bad feeling.....well except extortion

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

When I went back downstairs, DH saw a grin on my face and said "what's up" I said, "I think Mickey is more powerful than Santa in the extortion game"

This one had me . Mickey is very powerful when there is a trip on the horizon!

OP, to you. I kept DD2 in a crib until she was 2.5 (big sister went to a bed before 2) because I *knew* she would wander. She surprised me. The first few nights, the novelty of being able to get out of bed was fun, but we immediately returned her to bed several times, and she finally got the message. It took about a week to 10 days.

Unfortunately, she is still an early bird and is usually up and about before 6am most days! But that is another story!

 

[SamIAm21]

I honestly love the idea of velcro pajamas and sheets but I really didn't have this problem with my DD.

Like Snow Brite stated, my DD's bed time has always been very "rehearsed" same thing every night. Bath, jammies, snack, teeth, bed. I think the routine of it all just works. By the time we are up to snack, she's already yawning. Bed time is bed time no matter where you sleep. It works the same for naps. If you do the same thing every day, the kids sort of become trained. Even now when my daugther doesn't need naps, she get's drowsy after lunch!

I also got my daugther a gate to keep her from falling out of bed and I think that made her feel more secure.