Help! Am I being selfish?

[babyburrito]

Please help me decide if I am being selfish or is my husband being too demanding. We are going on a Disney cruise in Nov. and will be staying three nights before hand at WDW. It is going to be a family reunion of sorts. We get in Friday night and meet up with my mom and dad at MVMCP. Sat it's off to DHS for Osborne spectacle of lights and Sun sleeping in and viewing decorations at the resorts etc. That night we move into a Grand Villa where my brother and his family will also stay with us and we have dinner reservations for 10 at Boma. The next morning we get on the ship. This has all been planned for a while now.

Here's where the trouble starts. My DH's company was recently purchased this past year and the new ceo/president of his company lives in Orlando. He wants me to ditch my family and leave the kids with them to go out to dinner with the new CEO. Whom I have not met yet and don't even know if he will be available at that time. He wants me to do it last minute if it works out.

I would have no problem meeting his new bigwig if it was a different situation but I haven't seen my brother and his family in a year or two and I think that it would be rude to bail on them. Yes, we will be on the ship together for the next 4 days but this is my vacation too. I feel like I am caught between my family and his career. Any and all advice is appreciated.

 

[scrapquitler]

I might be less than thrilled about it, but I would go with my DH to the boss's dinner without a single word of complaint. Having DH make nicey-nice with the CEO could pay off in the future, and acting like a couple of hours for the dinner is a problem could look bad for your DH.

Play nice, keep the option open for going out to dinner, buy yourself a new dress so you look and feel great, and put on a happy face if you end up going.

 

[babyburrito]

Thanks for the advice. If I agree to go and it doesn't happen then it's a win win.

 

[Marshmelo]

Is there any way you could extend your stay an extra night so you don't feel like you are missing out on the planned time with your family?

 

[HopperFan]

If it were me I would say yes that is fine as long as it is Sat or Sun night since you have party tickets on Friday night. And for me personally, if it ended up Sat night and I would miss the Osborne Lights, then I would have to go to that on Sunday night.

One thing I would throw out there that would not affect your schedule as much - what about meeting for brunch or an early lunch one of those days? A few hours away from your family won't hurt when you have the cruise still to visit. But honestly I would be surprised if the CEO wants to give up his weekend time.

 

[babyburrito]

That is a great idea! We don't have anything planned all day Sunday until dinner except visiting resorts etc. Maybe we can do a lunch or Brunch on Sunday. Thanks for the advice.

 

[bpadair32]

No you are not being selfish. This is a FAMILY vacation that has been planned for a long time and you should spend that time with your family. Personally, as a manager, I would not look favorably on someone taking time away from their family just to have dinner with me. I would view it as sucking up to the boss, and that is not something that I encourage.

If the boss really wants him to take time away from his family, when he is presumably off of work on personal time, than I would not want to work for that boss.

 

[HopperFan]

That is a great idea! We don't have anything planned all day Sunday until dinner except visiting resorts etc. Maybe we can do a lunch or Brunch on Sunday. Thanks for the advice.

I would put that out there, you have a good chance boss will say no enjoy your vacation, but if he says yes, more low key and relaxed, in and out.

 

[babyburrito]

No you are not being selfish. This is a FAMILY vacation that has been planned for a long time and you should spend that time with your family. Personally, as a manager, I would not look favorably on someone taking time away from their family just to have dinner with me. I would view it as sucking up to the boss, and that is not something that I encourage.

If the boss really wants him to take time away from his family, when he is presumably off of work on personal time, than I would not want to work for that boss.

This is all my DH's idea. He is very much a networker and a good one. Hopefully this guy will have better things to do on his Sunday than meet with us.

 

[babyburrito]

DH and I just had a discussion about meeting for lunch or brunch that day instead of dinner. He said that he could work with that.
So I am happy, I still get dinner with everyone and he gets his meet with the owner if it works out.

Thanks everyone for helping me to think through it and for the helpful advice.

 

[mrsp1030]

Yes, I agree that a lunch or brunch meeting would work best. As someone who has been in your shoes many times and now am the opposite end of it being the CFO wife, I know that it goes a long way for your husband's future!