Health Insurance (Options)

[TwoMisfits]

Loss of coverage may or may not be a qualifying event for the son’s employer policy. He needs to confirm that with his HR office.

I’m a strong proponent of letting young adults BE adults — that is being fully self supportive including their insurance (assuming it is a benefit offered by the employer).

I am, as well. My kid got insurance even though I could cover her, and now I don't need to worry about her if my spouse somehow loses his insurance (job loss, death, etc)...

It helped that she would not be able to get certain coverages if she did not elect them at work start. That apparently is more common than one thinks.

 

[sam_gordon]

I’m a strong proponent of letting young adults BE adults — that is being fully self supportive including their insurance (assuming it is a benefit offered by the employer).

I am, as well. My kid got insurance even though I could cover her, and now I don't need to worry about her if my spouse somehow loses his insurance (job loss, death, etc)...

Ever go out to eat or to a show or anything with your adult kids? Who pays? I assume you split the check so they can be "self supportive", right?

I would agree with you both if we were paying more to cover DS. But we're not. Since DD is still on our plan, it costs us $0 to have DS on it.

We do have DS on our auto insurance, and either later this year/early next year we'll have him get his own. Trying to make sure he has a decent enough income too. I don't want to kick him off our insurance, then six months down the road find out the job isn't going to work out and he can't find another one.

 

[kdonnel]

Since DD is still on our plan, it costs us $0 to have DS on it.

We do have DS on our auto insurance, and either later this year/early next year we'll have him get his own. Trying to make sure he has a decent enough income too. I don't want to kick him off our insurance, then six months down the road find out the job isn't going to work out and he can't find another one.

Like you....

I kept my daughter on my health insurance until she turned 26 and then it was a qualifying life event for her to get on her employer plan mid year. It cost me nothing but saved her $170 a month, or about $6,800 from college to 26.

I would have done the same for my son but he moved to another state that my insurance company doesn't service.

Once my daughter turned 25 I put the car she drove into her name and she got her own insurance policy. Once again it would have cost her much more being under 25 to get auto insurance than I was paying as an old man. I am doing the same with my son.

Both my adult kids are still on my cell phone plan. It costs me $20 for each kid. There is no way they could get their own plan for $20. I figure they will remain on my cell plan until they start their own families, or maybe we just add more lines and they start paying their portion.


I understand people wanting their adult kids to be on their own, but I don't understand doing it and making your child's life harder than it needs to be.

I know it is different parental approaches, I just don't understand the approach that ultimately works out to "Make my adult child's life as hard as possible when I can make it easier for little to no monetary or mental cost."

 

[lanejudy]

Ever go out to eat or to a show or anything with your adult kids? Who pays? I assume you split the check so they can be "self supportive", right?

Not the same. Going out to eat is an occasional expense. Insurance is a regular monthly bill (whether by payroll deduction or other payment options). They can’t learn to appropriately budget for their own needs when parents continue to cover such things. It’s not “making life harder” it is teaching budgeting and financial discipline and responsibility for oneself/spouse/family.

 

[soccerdad72]

Like you....

I kept my daughter on my health insurance until she turned 26 and then it was a qualifying life event for her to get on her employer plan mid year. It cost me nothing but saved her $170 a month, or about $6,800 from college to 26.

I would have done the same for my son but he moved to another state that my insurance company doesn't service.

Once my daughter turned 25 I put the car she drove into her name and she got her own insurance policy. Once again it would have cost her much more being under 25 to get auto insurance than I was paying as an old man. I am doing the same with my son.

Both my adult kids are still on my cell phone plan. It costs me $20 for each kid. There is no way they could get their own plan for $20. I figure they will remain on my cell plan until they start their own families, or maybe we just add more lines and they start paying their portion.


I understand people wanting their adult kids to be on their own, but I don't understand doing it and making your child's life harder than it needs to be.

I know it is different parental approaches, I just don't understand the approach that ultimately works out to "Make my adult child's life as hard as possible when I can make it easier for little to no monetary or mental cost."

Same thing here. My older son turns 26 this year, but until then, as long as we had a family plan (younger son is still in college), it costs us nothing to keep him on our insurance. He pays the co-pays and any uncovered amounts. We just pay the premiums. When he turns 26 (in September), he knows we need to drop him and he needs to pick up coverage at his company.

He's still on our car insurance and cell phone plan too, but he does reimburse us for those costs.

Once our younger son graduates college, I'm looking at retirement because once he's on his own health insurance, my wife and I can look at the health marketplace and figure out our best option to cover just the two of us.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Young people DO indeed pay their own checks, shocking I know. My husband and I have been picking up our own portion of dining out since late teens/early 20s. Does his parents sometimes pay every now and then? Sure. Do WE pay for their portion every now and then? Yup (and have been for years). It's a weak argument though for the OP to dredge up.

It's all wrapped up into the same premise of knowing and understanding your financials and how they fit in with your budget which is part and parcel with adulting.

But as I understand it part of lanejudy's response as well as a few others is that the OP isn't letting their adult son lead the way in obtaining this information and working out what they want to do. OP shouldn't be taking the reigns on this and asking us on the DIS. OP should be looking into their own company's health insurance plan for what the rules are for it, OP's adult son should be asking their employer for health insurance benefits information and asking HR the questions. This would be the case even if the OP's son wasn't getting married but is even more important that they are.

Let adults you know be adults. How you split it may differ depending on what works out with all the information accounted for.

FWIW though when I was kicked off health insurance when I graduated college before ACA I got my own insurance plan, then got hired at a company that came with benefits (before I was just working for the University) and right then is when ACA happened. I did get added back onto my mom's plan BUT I paid her each month my portion of it. For the OP that may be harder to figure out and may not be what they want to do but just because you keep your adult child on your plan doesn't mean they can't have adult responsibilities with financials, if you choose not to that's what you choose but it's not because that's impossible to do. The following year I put myself on the employer's plan not only so I could have control over what plan I wanted but because it was better with the plan rules and then when I got married a year later I added myself to my husband's plan because his was a lot better (and cheaper) than mine. I did all of that before the age of 25 (well okay I was added onto my husband's plan a month after I turned 25 though it was retroactive to the wedding date). My mother wasn't involved in any of my decisions regarding my healthcare options.

 

[sam_gordon]

Not the same. Going out to eat is an occasional expense. Insurance is a regular monthly bill (whether by payroll deduction or other payment options). They can’t learn to appropriately budget for their own needs when parents continue to cover such things. It’s not “making life harder” it is teaching budgeting and financial discipline and responsibility for oneself/spouse/family.

And yet, at least in our case, they have to deal with rent, food, utilities, clothes, gas for vehicles, etc, plus discretionary expenses. So yea, I think they're learning how to budget for their own needs.

I don't think keeping him on our insurance would mean he doesnt know how to budget.

 

[kdonnel]

Not the same. Going out to eat is an occasional expense. Insurance is a regular monthly bill (whether by payroll deduction or other payment options). They can’t learn to appropriately budget for their own needs when parents continue to cover such things. It’s not “making life harder” it is teaching budgeting and financial discipline and responsibility for oneself/spouse/family.

I think you can instill budgeting and financial discipline in many different ways.

For example, my running partner takes more of the approach you’re describing. He required his kids to get jobs to contribute to car expenses (insurance, gas, even the purchase), take out loans for college, and start covering their own healthcare costs (premiums, copays, etc.) as soon as they graduated high school.

The results? A mix. One of his kids is on a great path financially. Another is 22 and tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Another is 18 and already several thousand in debt.

My wife and I took a different approach. We told our kids their job was college. My son chose to get a part-time campus job for spending money, but we didn’t require them to contribute to college costs. He saved his earnings and used that money when he moved after graduation. We covered healthcare and car expenses as well.

At the same time, we were very transparent about money. We shared our family finances with them — how much we earned, how we budgeted, what percentage went toward savings, vacations, fixed expenses, and so on. They understood how the system worked and why.

In our case, requiring them to pay for auto or health insurance would have made life materially harder. Instead of paying $6,800 a year in health insurance premiums, my daughter was able to save that money — and in doing so, practice budgeting and financial discipline in a real way. The same goes for what would have been spent on auto insurance. My son hasn’t received identical benefits, but he’s also saving and managing his money responsibly.

Both of them demonstrate strong budgeting skills and financial discipline.

Was that because of our parenting style versus his? Or was it just personality and circumstance? We’ll never really know.

Different approaches can both aim at the same goal. Different strokes for different families.

 

[disneychrista]

Ever go out to eat or to a show or anything with your adult kids? Who pays? I assume you split the check so they can be "self supportive", right?

I would agree with you both if we were paying more to cover DS. But we're not. Since DD is still on our plan, it costs us $0 to have DS on it.

We do have DS on our auto insurance, and either later this year/early next year we'll have him get his own. Trying to make sure he has a decent enough income too. I don't want to kick him off our insurance, then six months down the road find out the job isn't going to work out and he can't find another one.

Not the same as fully supporting themselves and their own living expenses and I am sure you know that since you added the

I am on the fence to just keep him on your insurance vs he is going to be a married adult and he needs to figure these things about for himself. Soon after my younger daughter turned 26 I learned that she did not have dental & vision coverage for the past year & a half. If I had known I would have added her to mine to nominal or no additional cost to me vs her not having any at all. But of course then it was too late.

 

[VandVsmama]

Trying to figure out what our options are. I have an email in to my HR person and DS is supposed to ask his...

Backstory
Myself, DW, DS, and DD(#2) are all on my company's insurance via a family rate. DS accepted a "professional" job that offers insurance (yay!)
DS is getting married in the beginning of November. His fiancé is currently on her mom's insurance.
My health insurance "term" is Sept 1 - August 31.

We're trying to figure out what would be "best" (relative term I know).

DS has three plans he can choose from his company, but they all have a decent sized premiums. So, our thought is he stays on ours (doesn't cost us any extra because of the family plan) and he can pocket that money. BUT, what do we do in September? I'm ASSUMING he can't join his company's health care then because it would be the middle of the plan year.

OK, I can sign him back up for mine. BUT, I think I read somewhere once he gets married, he can't be on my insurance? I might have that wrong though.

I'm ASSUMING his (and his fiancé's) work plans don't start until January 1. So, unless he joins his new company's plan now, will there be a "gap" of time when he can't be covered on my plan (either Sept 1 - Dec 31 or Wedding - Dec 31)? Not a huge deal, but not ideal.

Other information/suggestions?

I think our ideal is he stays on my plan even after the wedding, then sign up for either his or his (then) wife's plan to start Jan 1. Whenever that starts, drop him from my coverage (but there's no financial benefit, so really no rush). Is that doable?

Some suggestions/answers to your logistical questions:

• When starting employment at a new company, most companies give you 30 days from your start date to enroll in benefits, like a health insurance plan, dental plan, etc.
• There are other 'life events' which also would trigger being able to change one's policy. Getting married is 1 of those. Having a child or adopting a child. Also losing your existing coverage if previously covered under a different plan elsewhere.
• It would be a good idea for your DS to check with his employer's HR department on the above.
• Considering the triggering event of losing one's current coverage, a lot of HR departments might ask for documentation. Have him ask HR what sort of documentation/proof is required.
• You should also check with YOUR health plan to confirm whether or not it's allowed to have a married adult child on your policy. Don't assume. Check with the health plan.
• DS's wife should also do the same verification to confirm whether or not she can remain on her mom's health insurance even after she gets married.

 

[VandVsmama]

The question(s) posted by the OP touch upon a related topic:
Just because you can, should you?

(disclaimer: in posting my thoughts/opinions below, in no way do I intend to sound judgmental toward anyone who would choose differently than me. There's many flavors of ice cream and what works for 1 family, doesn't work for another family)

I've been noodling on this...

DS gets married. DS is <26 yr old. Technically, you probably could leave him on your health insurance, but should you? If somebody is old enough to have decided to make a life long commitment to their partner, then part of those commitments & responsibilities involve every day things like health insurance, dental coverage, car insurance, etc.

How can one 'leave and cleave' to one's wife when your parents are still paying for some basic necessities of your life?

Is it more convenient, easier & cheaper for the adult child's bank account to stay on their parents' car insurance policy, cell phone plan, health & dental insurance plans? Sure, yes.

At what point do you finally stop paying for it all?
When you're dead?
When you're retired and on Medicare?

Looking at this from a different angle, is it possible that we end up sending a message to our kids that we don't think they can handle it? That we don't believe in them? That we don't think they're capable enough?

Is it also possible that we end up sending a message to our kids that they are entitled to have their parents pay for everything forever?

There is a lot of self confidence and grit that one can develop emotionally from having to be a little uncomfortable sometimes. For example, let's say you (the proverbial you, not necessarily OP) see your DS & his wife going on nice vacations every year to lovely destinations and they post a lot on social media about the fancy expensive dinners they go to a lot...yet they claim that they can't afford DS or his wife's employers' health insurance policies because it costs $150/month (I'm totally making up a number there).

At some point, the gravy train has to end.

And if your adult son or daughter's new job doesn't work out? Guess what? They have to suck it up and find a new job and figure out how to get health insurance coverage.

What would YOU end up having to do in that situation? You'd have to figure it out...maybe you'd have to figure it out without having somebody to swoop in and make the problem go away.

Sometimes the best thing one can do for one's adult child is to NOT fix the problem for them.

 

[sam_gordon]

The question(s) posted by the OP touch upon a related topic:
Just because you can, should you?

(disclaimer: in posting my thoughts/opinions below, in no way do I intend to sound judgmental toward anyone who would choose differently than me. There's many flavors of ice cream and what works for 1 family, doesn't work for another family)

I've been noodling on this...

DS gets married. DS is <26 yr old. Technically, you probably could leave him on your health insurance, but should you? If somebody is old enough to have decided to make a life long commitment to their partner, then part of those commitments & responsibilities involve every day things like health insurance, dental coverage, car insurance, etc.

How can one 'leave and cleave' to one's wife when your parents are still paying for some basic necessities of your life?

Is it more convenient, easier & cheaper for the adult child's bank account to stay on their parents' car insurance policy, cell phone plan, health & dental insurance plans? Sure, yes.

At what point do you finally stop paying for it all?
When you're dead?
When you're retired and on Medicare?

Looking at this from a different angle, is it possible that we end up sending a message to our kids that we don't think they can handle it? That we don't believe in them? That we don't think they're capable enough?

Is it also possible that we end up sending a message to our kids that they are entitled to have their parents pay for everything forever?

There is a lot of self confidence and grit that one can develop emotionally from having to be a little uncomfortable sometimes. For example, let's say you (the proverbial you, not necessarily OP) see your DS & his wife going on nice vacations every year to lovely destinations and they post a lot on social media about the fancy expensive dinners they go to a lot...yet they claim that they can't afford DS or his wife's employers' health insurance policies because it costs $150/month (I'm totally making up a number there).

At some point, the gravy train has to end.

And if your adult son or daughter's new job doesn't work out? Guess what? They have to suck it up and find a new job and figure out how to get health insurance coverage.

What would YOU end up having to do in that situation? You'd have to figure it out...maybe you'd have to figure it out without having somebody to swoop in and make the problem go away.

Sometimes the best thing one can do for one's adult child is to NOT fix the problem for them.

I can appreciate the thoughts and questions brought up. However, there's a couple of things that, IMO, make the questions I posted in the OP different than what you're bringing up...

1) Saying "find another job" is a lot easier said than done. Especially one that offers benefits.
2) For many (most?) couples, if the one carrying the insurance loses their job, the other spouse can usually sign up the couple for that company's insurance (that's exactly what happened to me 3 1/2 years ago). In DS' case (which prompted the thread), he's not getting married until November. So it's not a case that if his job doesn't work out he can just go on his spouses (at least for 9 months). So then you're back to #1.
3) This is our middle child, so we've already gone through this with her. We broke her off our cell phone plan, our car insurance, and our health insurance. Basically, all of that happened AFTER she got married... which, again, isn't happening for nine months for DS.

There's a thing I saw on Instagram that I thought was pretty telling...

To my son (but can apply to daughters also), Just because I give you advice doesn't mean I doubt you. It means I care. It means I've walked a few roads before you and want your path to be a little easier. You are free to choose your way-- always remember my love and support walk with you.

IMO, that doesn't apply to just "advice", but financial help.

No, I don't plan on "carrying" any of my kids until I retire. But if we can make their lives a little easier than what DW & I went through, I don't see harm.