Health Insurance (Options)

[TwoMisfits]

Loss of coverage may or may not be a qualifying event for the son’s employer policy. He needs to confirm that with his HR office.

I’m a strong proponent of letting young adults BE adults — that is being fully self supportive including their insurance (assuming it is a benefit offered by the employer).

I am, as well. My kid got insurance even though I could cover her, and now I don't need to worry about her if my spouse somehow loses his insurance (job loss, death, etc)...

It helped that she would not be able to get certain coverages if she did not elect them at work start. That apparently is more common than one thinks.

 

[sam_gordon]

I’m a strong proponent of letting young adults BE adults — that is being fully self supportive including their insurance (assuming it is a benefit offered by the employer).

I am, as well. My kid got insurance even though I could cover her, and now I don't need to worry about her if my spouse somehow loses his insurance (job loss, death, etc)...

Ever go out to eat or to a show or anything with your adult kids? Who pays? I assume you split the check so they can be "self supportive", right?

I would agree with you both if we were paying more to cover DS. But we're not. Since DD is still on our plan, it costs us $0 to have DS on it.

We do have DS on our auto insurance, and either later this year/early next year we'll have him get his own. Trying to make sure he has a decent enough income too. I don't want to kick him off our insurance, then six months down the road find out the job isn't going to work out and he can't find another one.

 

[kdonnel]

Since DD is still on our plan, it costs us $0 to have DS on it.

We do have DS on our auto insurance, and either later this year/early next year we'll have him get his own. Trying to make sure he has a decent enough income too. I don't want to kick him off our insurance, then six months down the road find out the job isn't going to work out and he can't find another one.

Like you....

I kept my daughter on my health insurance until she turned 26 and then it was a qualifying life event for her to get on her employer plan mid year. It cost me nothing but saved her $170 a month, or about $6,800 from college to 26.

I would have done the same for my son but he moved to another state that my insurance company doesn't service.

Once my daughter turned 25 I put the car she drove into her name and she got her own insurance policy. Once again it would have cost her much more being under 25 to get auto insurance than I was paying as an old man. I am doing the same with my son.

Both my adult kids are still on my cell phone plan. It costs me $20 for each kid. There is no way they could get their own plan for $20. I figure they will remain on my cell plan until they start their own families, or maybe we just add more lines and they start paying their portion.


I understand people wanting their adult kids to be on their own, but I don't understand doing it and making your child's life harder than it needs to be.

I know it is different parental approaches, I just don't understand the approach that ultimately works out to "Make my adult child's life as hard as possible when I can make it easier for little to no monetary or mental cost."

 

[lanejudy]

Ever go out to eat or to a show or anything with your adult kids? Who pays? I assume you split the check so they can be "self supportive", right?

Not the same. Going out to eat is an occasional expense. Insurance is a regular monthly bill (whether by payroll deduction or other payment options). They can’t learn to appropriately budget for their own needs when parents continue to cover such things. It’s not “making life harder” it is teaching budgeting and financial discipline and responsibility for oneself/spouse/family.

 

[soccerdad72]

Like you....

I kept my daughter on my health insurance until she turned 26 and then it was a qualifying life event for her to get on her employer plan mid year. It cost me nothing but saved her $170 a month, or about $6,800 from college to 26.

I would have done the same for my son but he moved to another state that my insurance company doesn't service.

Once my daughter turned 25 I put the car she drove into her name and she got her own insurance policy. Once again it would have cost her much more being under 25 to get auto insurance than I was paying as an old man. I am doing the same with my son.

Both my adult kids are still on my cell phone plan. It costs me $20 for each kid. There is no way they could get their own plan for $20. I figure they will remain on my cell plan until they start their own families, or maybe we just add more lines and they start paying their portion.


I understand people wanting their adult kids to be on their own, but I don't understand doing it and making your child's life harder than it needs to be.

I know it is different parental approaches, I just don't understand the approach that ultimately works out to "Make my adult child's life as hard as possible when I can make it easier for little to no monetary or mental cost."

Same thing here. My older son turns 26 this year, but until then, as long as we had a family plan (younger son is still in college), it costs us nothing to keep him on our insurance. He pays the co-pays and any uncovered amounts. We just pay the premiums. When he turns 26 (in September), he knows we need to drop him and he needs to pick up coverage at his company.

He's still on our car insurance and cell phone plan too, but he does reimburse us for those costs.

Once our younger son graduates college, I'm looking at retirement because once he's on his own health insurance, my wife and I can look at the health marketplace and figure out our best option to cover just the two of us.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Young people DO indeed pay their own checks, shocking I know. My husband and I have been picking up our own portion of dining out since late teens/early 20s. Does his parents sometimes pay every now and then? Sure. Do WE pay for their portion every now and then? Yup (and have been for years). It's a weak argument though for the OP to dredge up.

It's all wrapped up into the same premise of knowing and understanding your financials and how they fit in with your budget which is part and parcel with adulting.

But as I understand it part of lanejudy's response as well as a few others is that the OP isn't letting their adult son lead the way in obtaining this information and working out what they want to do. OP shouldn't be taking the reigns on this and asking us on the DIS. OP should be looking into their own company's health insurance plan for what the rules are for it, OP's adult son should be asking their employer for health insurance benefits information and asking HR the questions. This would be the case even if the OP's son wasn't getting married but is even more important that they are.

Let adults you know be adults. How you split it may differ depending on what works out with all the information accounted for.

FWIW though when I was kicked off health insurance when I graduated college before ACA I got my own insurance plan, then got hired at a company that came with benefits (before I was just working for the University) and right then is when ACA happened. I did get added back onto my mom's plan BUT I paid her each month my portion of it. For the OP that may be harder to figure out and may not be what they want to do but just because you keep your adult child on your plan doesn't mean they can't have adult responsibilities with financials, if you choose not to that's what you choose but it's not because that's impossible to do. The following year I put myself on the employer's plan not only so I could have control over what plan I wanted but because it was better with the plan rules and then when I got married a year later I added myself to my husband's plan because his was a lot better (and cheaper) than mine. I did all of that before the age of 25 (well okay I was added onto my husband's plan a month after I turned 25 though it was retroactive to the wedding date). My mother wasn't involved in any of my decisions regarding my healthcare options.

 

[sam_gordon]

Not the same. Going out to eat is an occasional expense. Insurance is a regular monthly bill (whether by payroll deduction or other payment options). They can’t learn to appropriately budget for their own needs when parents continue to cover such things. It’s not “making life harder” it is teaching budgeting and financial discipline and responsibility for oneself/spouse/family.

And yet, at least in our case, they have to deal with rent, food, utilities, clothes, gas for vehicles, etc, plus discretionary expenses. So yea, I think they're learning how to budget for their own needs.

I don't think keeping him on our insurance would mean he doesnt know how to budget.

 

[kdonnel]

Not the same. Going out to eat is an occasional expense. Insurance is a regular monthly bill (whether by payroll deduction or other payment options). They can’t learn to appropriately budget for their own needs when parents continue to cover such things. It’s not “making life harder” it is teaching budgeting and financial discipline and responsibility for oneself/spouse/family.

I think you can instill budgeting and financial discipline in many different ways.

For example, my running partner takes more of the approach you’re describing. He required his kids to get jobs to contribute to car expenses (insurance, gas, even the purchase), take out loans for college, and start covering their own healthcare costs (premiums, copays, etc.) as soon as they graduated high school.

The results? A mix. One of his kids is on a great path financially. Another is 22 and tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Another is 18 and already several thousand in debt.

My wife and I took a different approach. We told our kids their job was college. My son chose to get a part-time campus job for spending money, but we didn’t require them to contribute to college costs. He saved his earnings and used that money when he moved after graduation. We covered healthcare and car expenses as well.

At the same time, we were very transparent about money. We shared our family finances with them — how much we earned, how we budgeted, what percentage went toward savings, vacations, fixed expenses, and so on. They understood how the system worked and why.

In our case, requiring them to pay for auto or health insurance would have made life materially harder. Instead of paying $6,800 a year in health insurance premiums, my daughter was able to save that money — and in doing so, practice budgeting and financial discipline in a real way. The same goes for what would have been spent on auto insurance. My son hasn’t received identical benefits, but he’s also saving and managing his money responsibly.

Both of them demonstrate strong budgeting skills and financial discipline.

Was that because of our parenting style versus his? Or was it just personality and circumstance? We’ll never really know.

Different approaches can both aim at the same goal. Different strokes for different families.

 

[disneychrista]

Ever go out to eat or to a show or anything with your adult kids? Who pays? I assume you split the check so they can be "self supportive", right?

I would agree with you both if we were paying more to cover DS. But we're not. Since DD is still on our plan, it costs us $0 to have DS on it.

We do have DS on our auto insurance, and either later this year/early next year we'll have him get his own. Trying to make sure he has a decent enough income too. I don't want to kick him off our insurance, then six months down the road find out the job isn't going to work out and he can't find another one.

Not the same as fully supporting themselves and their own living expenses and I am sure you know that since you added the

I am on the fence to just keep him on your insurance vs he is going to be a married adult and he needs to figure these things about for himself. Soon after my younger daughter turned 26 I learned that she did not have dental & vision coverage for the past year & a half. If I had known I would have added her to mine to nominal or no additional cost to me vs her not having any at all. But of course then it was too late.