He won't propose!

[thankudrivethru]

btw, men and guys(sometimes) tend to say stuff just to get away from a conversation or situation, they also brush stuff off in a " yeah alright" type of fashion, when really they just trying to get away from the situation

 

[Vidia2]

Because if we're going to have a wedding, I want time to do it right and make it look nice mostly I'm just concerned about getting the venue, photographer, caterer, etc booked. Like, I don't care what the flowers look like or what food we have, as long as I know we have flowers and food!

So your interest in the wedding is because it will mean that you're then married?

 

[emilily88]

So you're interest in the wedding is because it will mean that you're then married?

Mostly. Of course I want to have a pretty gown and see all of the friends and family that we will invite, but the wedding isn't the point. The marriage is.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Because if we're going to have a wedding, I want time to do it right and make it look nice mostly I'm just concerned about getting the venue, photographer, caterer, etc booked. Like, I don't care what the flowers look like or what food we have, as long as I know we have flowers and food!

Ok, take out the wedding. Take it all out. The dress, the lame tiara (jk), the venue, the chocolate fondue fountain. Take it out back and take it out.

Now, think of things in a long term sense. Think beyond the wedding and first year of being a newlywed. When you think beyond that then make the decision about being married and if he even wants to get married now. People here are probably bringing up that all you want is the wedding because you are the one bringing it up a lot.

 

[emilily88]

I have read every one of your posts. Your boy friend is not ready to propose or he would have done it already.

Well that's what y'all are starting to make me think.

 

[thankudrivethru]

A lot of people are posting that I am just interested in a wedding, and I don't want anyone to think that, because it's the farthest thing from the truth. I just want a marriage

But u know what's funny about your statement? Anyone person just wants a marriage. But doesn't make it the correct reason to just get married. If that is the reason you want to be married i'd rethink your reasons.. seriously

 

[emilily88]

Ok, take out the wedding. Take it all out. The dress, the lame tiara (jk), the venue, the chocolate fondue fountain. Take it out back and take it out. Now, think of things in a long term sense. Think beyond the wedding and first year of being a newlywed. When you think beyond that then make the decision about being married. People here are probably bringing up that all you want is the wedding because you are the one bringing it up a lot.

I already know I want all that. We've been through a lot of rough times in the past 4 years and I know that we can make it through the rough times to come also. I want to be his partner in life, not just a bride.

 

[Cinderumbrella]

Seriously, back away from the computer and TALK TO HIM about all these things. If he is committed to a June 2014 wedding you will probably be engaged within the hour.

BUT

If he's not ready, willing or able he should be able to tell you why as well.

If you can't openly communicate now how do you expect to when (if) you are married?

 

[emilily88]

But u know what's funny about your statement? Anyone person just wants a marriage. But doesn't make it the correct reason to just get married. If that is the reason you want to be married i'd rethink your reasons.. seriously

Not the reason I want to get married at all.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Do you want to get married just for the sake of being married? Because that's what it seems like. I don't understand the rush? Just enjoy being together. When the time is right, he will propose.

 

[emilily88]

Seriously, back away from the computer and TALK TO HIM about all these things. If he is committed to a June 2014 wedding you will probably be engaged within the hour. BUT If he's not ready, willing or able he should be able to tell you why as well. If you can't openly communicate now how do you expect to when (if) you are married?

We do openly communicate. It's just nice to get feedback from other people in other situations, or hear from others who have been in a similar situation. I'm not asking if he loves me or is committed to me, I'm just asking how other people have gotten through this awkward in-between phase.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I already know I want all that. We've been through a lot of rough times in the past 4 years and I know that we can make it through the rough times to come also. I want to be his partner in life, not just a bride.

Ok. Is the wedding out of your head? Good. Banish that lacy beast and ask yourself why you want to get married and why him. Why you are in an "awkward waiting time"

 

[emilily88]

Ok. Is the wedding out of your head? Good. Banish that lacy beast and ask yourself why you want to get married and why him.

I already know why. It's the same reasons I choose him every day.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I already know why. It's the same reasons I choose him every day.

Ok, cool. Now are you willing to wait some more (like 3 years) to get married to him?

 

[Cinderumbrella]

We do openly communicate. It's just nice to get feedback from other people in other situations, or hear from others who have been in a similar situation. I'm not asking if he loves me or is committed to me, I'm just asking how other people have gotten through this awkward in-between phase.

I beg to differ on the "open communication" based on the whole premise of this thread.

 

[emilily88]

Ok, cool. Now are you willing to wait some more (like 3 years) to get married to him?

Yes. Do I want to? Well not particularly. But I would be willing to.

 

[usnuzuloose]

We do openly communicate. It's just nice to get feedback from other people in other situations, or hear from others who have been in a similar situation. I'm not asking if he loves me or is committed to me, I'm just asking how other people have gotten through this awkward in-between phase.

Our feed back is not going to change him or impact him. This is a conversation that is important to have between you two. We can advise and let you know. It all comes down to what he has to say about it. And you will have to live with what ever he tells you.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Yes. Do I want to? Well not particularly. But I would be willing to.

Now, saying that. If he turned to you in 3 years and said "Screw the wedding,let's do the courthouse" Would you be ok?

 

[thankudrivethru]

You just said you "just wanted to be married", not a goon reason to get married at all. The pushing him to propose, guys will back away when pushed into things they don't want to do.

You need to go talk to him right now. Ask him straight out " do you want to get married" " do you really want to marry me?" " do you want to get married in June?"

go on, see what he says

 

[lovemygoofy]

My husband is someone that plans everything from A-Z in his head long before it ever plans out with us. If things are going along the way he thinks it should, he needs time to regroup and figure out a new plan.

Take a minute and just be with your man. Let him move into his new apartment and just be with you dating. Don't cram in the couch you want or the curtains you want or the dishes you want. Just let him be even if that is lawn chairs and paper plates. Give him a minute to catch his breath and see if his plan is going along according to what he needs.

I moved 700 miles to be with my husband when we were dating. We had dated long distance for about 7 months and it was time to either move and give it a real go or stop all together. Well in his mind from our first date, he started looking for an apartment and a better car and making his plans which included an engagement ring on layaway that I didn't know about.

I moved in with him(I was 24, he was 25) knowing that we were discussing marriage. I wanted to elope but nope in his mind we were doing the white dress big church thing and that's the way it was going to be. He did give me the ring a couple weeks after moving in with him.

My whole point to the rambling is maybe you are further ahead in the details while he is still finishing his plan. Have one final blunt conversation about getting married in June and then just be. You've said it yourself that you all have worked and worked for the last several years. Just enjoy this time for a bit and let things fall into place without push and shoving.