He won't p**p in the potty!

[kidshop]

OK, now I don't feel so bad!

It wouldn't be such a big deal if it *only* took place at nap and bed. It's those times when we wear the real underwear that makes it such a mess. I guess we go back to pull-ups but he stays dry so much better in the regular underwear and is *aware* of what's going on down there if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the support.

My ds turned 3 in Oct. He has been dry during the day since about 32 months. It drove me nuts when he would 'go' in his underwear. I told him he has to go poo in a diaper (pull-up) or the potty only! He learned to ask me for a diaper shortly after, and I would give him one after he sat on the potty for a least a try. Well, he still asks for a diaper, but I know he has the control to wait, so he is *capable* of using the potty...although he hasn't wanted to yet! I guess I'll just run out of diapers one day and that will be that! I don't really care that much since he doesn't diry underwear anymore. He goes to preschool just fine. He is very regular and goes at home after lunch! Anyway, if it doesn't bother you, maybe you could teach him to ask for a diaper? I know it's an extra step in the process, but it has worked twice for me. (though ds1 decided to 'go' in the potty instead of a diaper right at 3 years old!

 

[txgirl]

He asked if I was crying because he wouldn't poop. I said I was crying because I was sad that I couldn't figure out what to do to help him learn to poop. The next day DH offered a Disney Dollar for a poop and he did it. Thus began the "pay per poop program" at our house but once he decided to do it, he never had an accident.

It's this kind of story that you cannot fail to remember all the details of so that you can relay this to his wife and children some day! It's nice to see I am not alone and strangely enough most of my girlfriends who have boys have had this exact same problem. Some with the girls, but ALL the boys.

Here's my update: This morning while wearing underwear he came over and was touching the front of his pants like he needed to go "tee-tee" and so that's what I asked him. He said yes, so we walked into the bathroom and I received my usual instructions from him to leave. So I shut the door and about 6.5 seconds later I hear, "MOM, LOOK AT I DID! LOOK AT I DID MOM!!!" Well, guess what he did?

Yup, he pooped all right.
BUT HE POOPED ON THE FLOOR!
It's because I laughed about that previous poster who said they knew someone who did that. AHHHHHHH
Well, I made a decision to not react to the poop on the floor, but rather to the lack of poop in the pants. "Yipee, you didn't poop in your pants!" and then he told me "get it mom" so we scooped the poop and flushed it down. I really think he was confused and was standing instead of sitting.

Anyway, I went ahead and gave him the trinket toy and said "you did a good job not pooping in your pants, but next time let's try to get it in the potty!"

I am waiting until the next *BIG ONE* which is usually pretty predictable and then I am bringing out the big guns and putting something he loves up high where he can see it. I liked the idea of a previous post about the child being able to see the prize. He has sooooo many toys that I can pull one out that he hasn't seen in a while and put it in plain view. If that doesn't work then we will just stay in pull-ups a while longer.

Is it weird to consider pooping on the floor as progress? What a fun job we have!

 

[CleveRocks]

OK Moms- I know you have been here.

OK for a Dad to respond??? I realize I'm only a man but I might have something to say.

Poop on the other hand is taking place at naptime, bedtime, or unfortunately in our underwear behind the couch or the tv!

Sounds like my son when he was 3. He'll be 6 next month. He was our first, and it went exactly the same way. He would only poop while standing behing his Thomas the Tank Engine table, or hiding in the other room.

Patience may help. When he's good and ready he'll do it. Our son didn't show any progress for the longest time, either, and then one day he was ready.

But then again, I'm just a Dad, what do I know?

 

[CleveRocks]

Ask any pediatrician about this and she'll tell you, "Your child is in control. Relax. He'll do it when he's ready."

Exactly what my wife the pediatrician told me ... and herself.

 

[txgirl]

OK for a Dad to respond??? I realize I'm only a man but I might have something to say.
-----------------------------------------------
But then again, I'm just a Dad, what do I know?

Gee Dad, I'm trying to read your sarcasm with humor rather than offense but it's kinda hard to do. I appreciate your post and would love the input of anyone who had advice to give. That would definitely include dad's and while I didn't make that clear on my OP I also didn't address:

grandparents
aunts
uncles
daycare providers
babysitters
brothers
sisters
etc., etc.

There are lots of different people who care for our kids and I value all of their advice. No need for the defense mode. I appreciate your advice but it would seem more genuine without the snide remarks.

 

[Del]

Happened to us too. I gave her a pullup for a month and let the issue go. It was just too stressful for everyone. Then started a sticker chart for her ....she got a sticker for trying not going.--2x a day after meals. Did it for about a week.....then it all clicked. Good luck. I found that the forum section on parents.com was very helpful for me on this issue. At one time, there was an expert that you could ask these questions to.

Del

 

[PoohHappens]

My screen name says it all!!!!!!!!!!

I have a behind the train table guy too. We tried everything and it was a total control issue. When we geared up for our disney trip in October (a month before he was 4) We told him that he had to go in the toilet to see mickey. The whole week at WDW he used the toilet for all business. We got home and the next day he had multiple "accidents" #2 had been our biggest problem. He even was moved back a class a preschool. He did not care the least bit. We always continued to use underwear because if I put a pull up on him he just did everything in there and would not use the toilet at all. I am happy to now say we have been 3 weeks with everything in the toilet, and very independently. He runs in there and goes on his own whenever and even night time accidents are very rare. He turned 4 in November, so he is older, but in retrospect I should not have gotten so uptight. I have to admit this new way is much easier for me, I am not daily cleaning underwear. (or the occasional one I just threw away--don't let the budget board know ) My best wishes are with you and it will eventually happen. Good Luck

 

[minkydog]

We had that problem too. Before he started the whole potty training thing we told him he could wear a diaper but he must poop in the bathroom. Not next to the couch or anywhere else for that matter. Then when we signed him up for pre-school the next morning he told me that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore and he didn't. The only problem was the poop thing. Finally after a few times of pooping in his underwear I had a "chat" with his heiney and told the poopy that it had to go in the potty. Now the poopy knew where to go so he had no more problems! I think you just have to find out what works even if it means talking directly to the poop!

Now this is the most creative solution I've seen. Ya know whatever works!

 

[minkydog]

Here's my update: This morning while wearing underwear he came over and was touching the front of his pants like he needed to go "tee-tee" and so that's what I asked him. He said yes, so we walked into the bathroom and I received my usual instructions from him to leave. So I shut the door and about 6.5 seconds later I hear, "MOM, LOOK AT I DID! LOOK AT I DID MOM!!!" Well, guess what he did?

Yup, he pooped all right.
BUT HE POOPED ON THE FLOOR!
It's because I laughed about that previous poster who said they knew someone who did that. AHHHHHHH
Well, I made a decision to not react to the poop on the floor, but rather to the lack of poop in the pants. "Yipee, you didn't poop in your pants!" and then he told me "get it mom" so we scooped the poop and flushed it down. I really think he was confused and was standing instead of sitting.

Anyway, I went ahead and gave him the trinket toy and said "you did a good job not pooping in your pants, but next time let's try to get it in the potty!"

I am waiting until the next *BIG ONE* which is usually pretty predictable and then I am bringing out the big guns and putting something he loves up high where he can see it. I liked the idea of a previous post about the child being able to see the prize. He has sooooo many toys that I can pull one out that he hasn't seen in a while and put it in plain view. If that doesn't work then we will just stay in pull-ups a while longer.

Is it weird to consider pooping on the floor as progress? What a fun job we have!

Yep, you're making progress. I'd even consider laying down some newspapers in there in case there are further "accidents". You might consider having him sit backwards on the potty--for some reason my DS liked to look at it

I fondly remember when DD finally did it. She stood on the front porch and shouted to the whole neighborhood "I make poo-poo in the potty!" In deed a big day Good luck

 

[TammyAlphabet]

Boy, have I been there. The trick is to find out why he doesn't want to do it. For my daughter, she thought that once she was totally potty trained, she wouldn't be my baby anymore. She really didn't want to lose that special place. Once I explained to her that she would always be my baby in my heart, things turned around really quickly. Good Luck with yours!

 

[nemofanatic]

my ds6 still does not like to use the toilet. He does have special needs. He has mild mr. So his mental capacity is of a 4 yr old. I think he should want to be changed after he goes #1 or #2. He doesn't care if he goes either one in his pull up. He goes #1 sometimes but not all the time. He knows there is a prize for him when he finally goes #2 in the toilet. This is very frustrating. The older he gets, the more messier it gets.

We tried putting underwear on him. He still didn't care if he went in them.

HHHHEEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!

 

[CleveRocks]

Gee Dad, I'm trying to read your sarcasm with humor rather than offense but it's kinda hard to do. I appreciate your post and would love the input of anyone who had advice to give. That would definitely include dad's and while I didn't make that clear on my OP I also didn't address:

grandparents
aunts
uncles
daycare providers
babysitters
brothers
sisters
etc., etc.

There are lots of different people who care for our kids and I value all of their advice. No need for the defense mode. I appreciate your advice but it would seem more genuine without the snide remarks.

It was said with humor, but I understand that it's usually difficult to divine such things using the written word only. I thought I was being funny.

 

[EmmaAndQuinnsMommy]

We too have been having this problem with my son who is 3. He is great with going pee, but we ended up with a BIG problem with #2. He would hide to do it, and we wouldn' t know, he got constipated, so it hurt coming out and then he had some on his bottom which caused AN extremely painful rash. After that happened, it just snowballed. He wouldn't even try to go on the potty and then he would get another rash almost instantly and then he would scream and cry when we had to clean him up because it hurt him so much. It has taken me watching him EVERY second to see if he is trying to go poop that way he doesn't have a chance to get anything at all on his bottom (to avoid a rash). Plus we added 2 cups of diluted apple juice every day so he won't get constipated too. I read that it can take MONTHS for a child to forget a painful BM like that and they can have lingering problems from being afraid to try and go. We have been going through this for the last two months and he is FINALLY going in the potty (most of the time). We are doing the sticker chart and trying to build his confidence about it. I am just telling this story so that noone makes the same mistake I did! make sure your watching to see if they are constipated, and for those with super sensitive skin, that even the tiniest bit can cause a bad reaction and a snowball effect. Good luck!