Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[Katy Belle]

I think he knows- but he doesn't want to. Truth be told, he is still in love with her. Hopefully he will figure out the toxicity of this relationship without too much more heartache. All I can do is listen and pray that he is smart and protects his heart. (they are NOT back together- and God Willing, it won't happen- at least anytime soon! They need to grow up and live their lives- you know?)

Wow, this sounds so similar to our situation this summer. I also told DS that I just really ccoldnt hear it all! He and she are now texting again, but he truly does seem over her. It took a while...... Fingers crossed that your DS can move on!

 

[nancygirl1]

We need to make the deposit for housing for next year. Upperclassmen can only live in the suite style dorms or the apartment style dorms, which stinks because it adds an additional $700+ to his room and board. He is leaning towards the apartment style, which means he won't need a meal plan, but honestly, he'd be eating EZ Mac every day, and I can't have that! I'd have to buy him the lowest meal plan, just for peace of mind! He says he will learn to cook this summer....

Hope everyone is doing well! I always look forward to reading updates!!

One of sons lives in one of the on-campus apartments. Last year he got the lowest meal plan and it worked for him. This year he decided not to get a plan and is doing fine. He's learning how to cook...when he has the time. We put money on his school card so if he does want to eat in the dining hall or one of the other venues, he can. He likes having the choices.

Our other son is living in a house with friends. Technically he is a commuter. He has the lowest plan and eats his big meal at school every day. He'd live on sandwiches if he didn't have that meal at school.

I guess it depends on the individual kid.

I'm glad that your son is doing so much better.

 

[marcyinPA]

One of sons lives in one of the on-campus apartments. Last year he got the lowest meal plan and it worked for him. This year he decided not to get a plan and is doing fine. He's learning how to cook...when he has the time. We put money on his school card so if he does want to eat in the dining hall or one of the other venues, he can. He likes having the choices.

Our other son is living in a house with friends. Technically he is a commuter. He has the lowest plan and eats his big meal at school every day. He'd live on sandwiches if he didn't have that meal at school.

I guess it depends on the individual kid.

I'm glad that your son is doing so much better.

Thank you for this! It never occurred to me to put the Bear Bucks, as they call them, on his card for meals. It would probably be cheaper for me to do it this way anyway. I'd have to price it out- that way vs. the lowest meal plan.

Right now, I haven't put those bucks on his card because he doesn't really need them. Food is covered with the plan and flex dollars on the plan, and he has a debit card/cash for whatever else he buys. But using them for meals next year- great idea!

 

[clh2]

All those storms yesterday in Central Illinois - destroyed the homes of 3 of the professor's homes from DD's college. Apparently there are many students from her college that live in Washington, IL as well that experienced damage to their residences too.

Very sad - DD's econ prof's house was one of the ones destroyed. This storm hit a little too close to home.

On a different note - DD has given me a list of Christmas Cookies that she might possibly want to have available for when she goes back after Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to her coming home.

 

[HERSEY]

Yes those storms yesterday were very intense. I am closer to Chicago but in the burbs. One of the tornandos that hit our state took someone's home were I work. Just unbelievable.

With everything had happened this weekend I am glad the tornando stayed north of my son's school. Oh and the gunman on campus might have been a hoax. They are looking for the person yelling about the gunman. Kids I don't think they think about what could have happened. As it was an officers gun discharged by accident. Luckily no one was hurt still so scary. I'd like to shake the person who thought it might be funny?

 

[clh2]

A texting conversation with my daughter:

Me: we want you to feel right at home when you come home for Thanksgiving, so we broke the dryer.

DD: Seriously?

DD: I am bringing 3 weeks of laundry home

me: why would you think I wasn't serious?

Me: Repair guy should be here later in the week.

Dd: that's good

So, the stinking repair was just under $300. Ouch! The repair guy said we should have put an out-of-order sign on the dryer, and sent a pic to her. ( now why didn't I think of that?)

The dryer in her sorority was out for about 2 weeks, about a month ago.

And no, I do not mind that she brings that much home, (she does her own), I just don't plan to do any for the duration!

 

[mom2rtk]

A texting conversation with my daughter:

Me: we want you to feel right at home when you come home for Thanksgiving, so we broke the dryer.

DD: Seriously?

DD: I am bringing 3 weeks of laundry home

me: why would you think I wasn't serious?

Me: Repair guy should be here later in the week.

Dd: that's good

So, the stinking repair was just under $300. Ouch! The repair guy said we should have put an out-of-order sign on the dryer, and sent a pic to her. ( now why didn't I think of that?)

The dryer in her sorority was out for about 2 weeks, about a month ago.

And no, I do not mind that she brings that much home, (she does her own), I just don't plan to do any for the duration!

I went all "helicopter mom" on my son and did his laundry for him when he was home last time. But he only brought 2 small loads. And he's done his own for years. I think he was shocked when I said I'd do it for him.

 

[clh2]

I went all "helicopter mom" on my son and did his laundry for him when he was home last time. But he only brought 2 small loads. And he's done his own for years. I think he was shocked when I said I'd do it for him.

I wouldn't mind giving her a hand with it, but she doesn't like the way I do things. especially the way I fold laundry. She has done her own since she was about 12, for that exact reason. I was not in favor of this, as it seemed particularly wasteful, but I lost that battle. Now I just stay away. And at this point I would not want things co-mingled, as I do not accept responsibility for anything that doesn't get back to school!

 

[mom2rtk]

I wouldn't mind giving her a hand with it, but she doesn't like the way I do things. especially the way I fold laundry. She has done her own since she was about 12, for that exact reason. I was not in favor of this, as it seemed particularly wasteful, but I lost that battle. Now I just stay away. And at this point I would not want things co-mingled, as I do not accept responsibility for anything that doesn't get back to school!

Oh, she folds? You needed a boy.

 

[LisaR]

I went all "helicopter mom" on my son and did his laundry for him when he was home last time. But he only brought 2 small loads. And he's done his own for years. I think he was shocked when I said I'd do it for him.

I did DD's laundry for home when she was home sick. She had totally forgotten about it and woke up Monday morning freaking out because she forgot to do it. She was very happy when she found out I had done it during one of her long sleeping spells!

Oh, she folds? You needed a boy.

Not just boys! We sent DD away with a pop up hamper and a laundry bag. When we went to visit many weeks ago, the pop up hamper was sitting on her bed and it was absolutely stuffed with clothes. Seriously, I think adding an extra sock to it would have collapsed it!

I assumed it was all dirty. Nope, it was freshly laundered and then balled up in the hamper. She said all she has to do is, "pour it into my drawers." She said she doesn't even bother with the laundry bag anymore and she doesn't sort the clothes either. She dumps it all into one or two loads. Undies and jeans together? No problem! I assure you that is not how she did it at home.

One time the college offered 24 hours of free laundry. The kids knew about it in advance and saved up all their laundry. It was like a game! They were all posting on Twitter about the loads they were able to get done for free and seemed so proud of themselves. According to DD, kids were having verbal sparring matches on social media over laundry left in machines and clothes being removed by others. She sent me a picture of a post that went something like, "It may mean bruises, cuts, or lost lives, but I am getting all my laundry done for free today!" Yep, that $10 DD saved us is really going to help pay that tuition bill!

 

[mom2rtk]

I did DD's laundry for home when she was home sick. She had totally forgotten about it and woke up Monday morning freaking out because she forgot to do it. She was very happy when she found out I had done it during one of her long sleeping spells!

Yeah Mom!

Not just boys! We sent DD away with a pop up hamper and a laundry bag. When we went to visit many weeks ago, the pop up hamper was sitting on her bed and it was absolutely stuffed with clothes. Seriously, I think adding an extra sock to it would have collapsed it!

I assumed it was all dirty. Nope, it was freshly laundered and then balled up in the hamper. She said all she has to do is, "pour it into my drawers." She said she doesn't even bother with the laundry bag anymore and she doesn't sort the clothes either. She dumps it all into one or two loads. Undies and jeans together? No problem! I assure you that is not how she did it at home.

LOL, so glad to hear it's not just boys!

One time the college offered 24 hours of free laundry. The kids knew about it in advance and saved up all their laundry. It was like a game! They were all posting on Twitter about the loads they were able to get done for free and seemed so proud of themselves. According to DD, kids were having verbal sparring matches on social media over laundry left in machines and clothes being removed by others. She sent me a picture of a post that went something like, "It may mean bruises, cuts, or lost lives, but I am getting all my laundry done for free today!" Yep, that $10 DD saved us is really going to help pay that tuition bill!

Laundry AMNESTY! I love it!

 

[Katy Belle]

Just checking in! Love the laundry stories. Laundry is free in DSs dorm, or rather, already included in the price of living there. And he's been super funny about laundry. He doesn't want to be the boy that brings it home for mom to do! I did talk him into bringing his blanket and comforter once, but other than that, he won't do any here!

He had is 3rd Calc Exam yesterday. Studied a lot, still felt he didn't do that great. Hopefully it won't be too bad! He had 2 exams today and 2 big-ish projects due tomorrow! He's a bit overwhelmed but seems ok. DH noticed, in phone records, that DS sent his last text at 3:26a.m. the other evening. A couple of days later, DS complains to me that he is soooo exhausted! I didn't mention the phone records, but suggested that SLEEP is the cure for exhaustion. He tells me he just CAN'T fall asleep early. I gave him some tips...ear plugs, sleep mask, turn your phone OFF, use the regular alarm clock. He texted "OK" and that was all I heard from him for a while He has not complained about being exhausted anymore. Oh, my.

He's coming home tomorrow, to help us with DS13s Eagle Project. Its been 7 weeks since he's been home! We have seen him a couple of times, at Band events half way between our town and his. But it will be nice to have him home. He's not thrilled about coming, since he will be coming again Tuesday, for Thanksgiving. But its only a 2 hour drive, and he's such good help! He's 6'4, so can reach things the rest of us can't, he's painted a fair amount, he will just make it so much easier and more fun! I need to have lots of goodies that he likes and make sure he has a good time while here! I told him to invite friends over tomorrow night. I hope he does!

When he was getting overwhelmed I reminded him that he gets 30 days off for Christmas VAcation!!! That made him pretty happy! I wonder what it will be like for all of us, having these grown up kids around for an extended visit!!???

 

[clh2]

Just checking in! Love the laundry stories. Laundry is free in DSs dorm, or rather, already included in the price of living there. And he's been super funny about laundry. He doesn't want to be the boy that brings it home for mom to do! I did talk him into bringing his blanket and comforter once, but other than that, he won't do any here!

He had is 3rd Calc Exam yesterday. Studied a lot, still felt he didn't do that great. Hopefully it won't be too bad! He had 2 exams today and 2 big-ish projects due tomorrow! He's a bit overwhelmed but seems ok. DH noticed, in phone records, that DS sent his last text at 3:26a.m. the other evening. A couple of days later, DS complains to me that he is soooo exhausted! I didn't mention the phone records, but suggested that SLEEP is the cure for exhaustion. He tells me he just CAN'T fall asleep early. I gave him some tips...ear plugs, sleep mask, turn your phone OFF, use the regular alarm clock. He texted "OK" and that was all I heard from him for a while He has not complained about being exhausted anymore. Oh, my.

Mom vent coming...I am so sick of DD and her sleep schedule. It has totally thrown her common sense out of whack. Not to mention the lack of exercise. DD just refuses to listen when we mention this. IMHO, if DD would exercise even a couple of times per week, I think she would sleep better, and on a much more regular schedule. Mom vent over!

Switching topics - I am not wanting to go through the expense of sending Christmas cookies to DD, so we will be sending some with her when she returns after Thanksgiving. So - that will be going on next weekend, in addition to decorating the tree, some shopping as well as DD and I are going to be making our Christmas cards. It will be a busy weekend, that is for sure!

 

[mom2rtk]

Just checking in! Love the laundry stories. Laundry is free in DSs dorm, or rather, already included in the price of living there. And he's been super funny about laundry. He doesn't want to be the boy that brings it home for mom to do! I did talk him into bringing his blanket and comforter once, but other than that, he won't do any here!

He had is 3rd Calc Exam yesterday. Studied a lot, still felt he didn't do that great. Hopefully it won't be too bad! He had 2 exams today and 2 big-ish projects due tomorrow! He's a bit overwhelmed but seems ok. DH noticed, in phone records, that DS sent his last text at 3:26a.m. the other evening. A couple of days later, DS complains to me that he is soooo exhausted! I didn't mention the phone records, but suggested that SLEEP is the cure for exhaustion. He tells me he just CAN'T fall asleep early. I gave him some tips...ear plugs, sleep mask, turn your phone OFF, use the regular alarm clock. He texted "OK" and that was all I heard from him for a while He has not complained about being exhausted anymore. Oh, my.

He's coming home tomorrow, to help us with DS13s Eagle Project. Its been 7 weeks since he's been home! We have seen him a couple of times, at Band events half way between our town and his. But it will be nice to have him home. He's not thrilled about coming, since he will be coming again Tuesday, for Thanksgiving. But its only a 2 hour drive, and he's such good help! He's 6'4, so can reach things the rest of us can't, he's painted a fair amount, he will just make it so much easier and more fun! I need to have lots of goodies that he likes and make sure he has a good time while here! I told him to invite friends over tomorrow night. I hope he does!

When he was getting overwhelmed I reminded him that he gets 30 days off for Christmas VAcation!!! That made him pretty happy! I wonder what it will be like for all of us, having these grown up kids around for an extended visit!!???

Fingers crossed that your son is pleasantly surprised with his Calc results! My DS had a Calc exam yesterday too.

Mine is coming home tomorrow for a week! He is riding back with his friend from here in town. Initially they were calling for some freezing rain around now, but I think that's gone out of the forecast. Thank heaven! He didn't get a fall break, but they get all of Thanksgiving week off. Just long enough for us to get used to him being here before he leaves again!

I think my DS has done OK in the sleep department. His earliest class is 9:30 so that really helps. He has always been a night owl, and actually got less sleep last year when he had to be at school at 6:45. He did say he found out the hard way just how long it takes to finish a full game of Mario, when he and a friend started at 10:30 one night! Thankfully he also added that he won't be doing that again.

 

[Katy Belle]

Mom vent coming...I am so sick of DD and her sleep schedule. It has totally thrown her common sense out of whack. Not to mention the lack of exercise. DD just refuses to listen when we mention this. IMHO, if DD would exercise even a couple of times per week, I think she would sleep better, and on a much more regular schedule. Mom vent over!

Switching topics - I am not wanting to go through the expense of sending Christmas cookies to DD, so we will be sending some with her when she returns after Thanksgiving. So - that will be going on next weekend, in addition to decorating the tree, some shopping as well as DD and I are going to be making our Christmas cards. It will be a busy weekend, that is for sure!

I'm with ya! I wanted to tell him to EXERCISE too! But I thought I better not. He really believes he can't fall asleep until 3a.m. and doesn't seem to think that if he got up at 7a.m. every day, he would be able to fall asleep earlier! He set his classes next semester LATE. Earliest starts at 11:30a.m. I'm trying so hard to stay out of it, but I had to tell him that he took away all of his study time! If he sleeps until noon, goes to class until 8:30 p.m. (some days) and plays video games until 3 a.m. when will he study??? Ugh. I didn't say all that...I just said he would have to be sure and schedule study time in there. Ugh!

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm with ya! I wanted to tell him to EXERCISE too! But I thought I better not. He really believes he can't fall asleep until 3a.m. and doesn't seem to think that if he got up at 7a.m. every day, he would be able to fall asleep earlier! He set his classes next semester LATE. Earliest starts at 11:30a.m. I'm trying so hard to stay out of it, but I had to tell him that he took away all of his study time! If he sleeps until noon, goes to class until 8:30 p.m. (some days) and plays video games until 3 a.m. when will he study??? Ugh. I didn't say all that...I just said he would have to be sure and schedule study time in there. Ugh!

Mine would love to be more active. But every time he has gone to the rec center, the basketball courts are all taken. I guess that's what he gets for attending a school with 75% male students!

 

[LisaR]

Don't even get me started on the lack of sleep thing! And my DD can't figure out why she keeps getting sick?? Hey, here's an idea, GET SOME SLEEP!!!

DD has learned the art of napping, something she never did when she lived at home. She goes to bed late, goes to class, naps, and then goes to her next class. It wouldn't be bad if she was sitting around not doing much into the wee hours, but she is out and about. The kids roam around campus, play basketball at 2am, go out to eat.......things normal people do during the day. I guess this is the life of a college student. I swear I don't remember doing this when I was in college, but maybe I have simply forgotten.

DD just sent me a text saying she will be home on Tuesday! She has a Tuesday class that goes until 7pm and so she wasn't going to be able to come home until Wednesday. The professor finally sent out an email canceling that class so she will leave after her Tuesday morning class. Some friends have the entire week off because professors have cancelled classes. DD hasn't been so fortunate. She has a huge test on Monday! She will go back on Sunday, have one week of classes and then finals start. I am so looking forward to Christmas break!!

Hope everyone has a terrific Thanksgiving! Enjoy those "emerging adults" while they are home for the break.........and try not strangle them because of all the bad habits they have developed while they were away!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

In the meantime, he went ahead and met with the Dean of the Communications department and changed his major. He was super excited about it and he said she was fantastic to speak to. She welcomed him to the department and said he will love it. She encouraged him to minor in Electronic Media, so he went to that department and spoke with the department head- so he's all set! I am amazed by him every day lately- he is really maturing and taking this stuff on by himself! Love it!

He also arranged with a professor to sit in the press box for the last football game on Saturday. He shadowed the announcers, which is like his dream job! He is a play by play type of guy- loves that stuff! He enjoyed it soooo much! The professor said that they need someone to do the play by play calling for the basketball games that occur over winter break and asked him if he was interested, if he lived close enough to call them. He is STOKED. So it looks like he will be driving down a few times to do that- I will probably go a few times too, and take my 14 year old, since he doesn't have his own car.

So good things are happening- he has been really positive- even started going to the gym with friends (he is not a gym guy- never once stepped foot in one! LOL). Got a new hair cut too! LOL All kinds of changes going on

Sounds like he is doing great! What a way to take charge and work toward something he loves!

All those storms yesterday in Central Illinois - destroyed the homes of 3 of the professor's homes from DD's college. Apparently there are many students from her college that live in Washington, IL as well that experienced damage to their residences too.

Very sad - DD's econ prof's house was one of the ones destroyed. This storm hit a little too close to home.

On a different note - DD has given me a list of Christmas Cookies that she might possibly want to have available for when she goes back after Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to her coming home.

Oh man, those tornados were terrible.

With everything had happened this weekend I am glad the tornando stayed north of my son's school. Oh and the gunman on campus might have been a hoax. They are looking for the person yelling about the gunman. Kids I don't think they think about what could have happened. As it was an officers gun discharged by accident. Luckily no one was hurt still so scary. I'd like to shake the person who thought it might be funny?

A HOAX??? Well I guess it would rather be a hoax than a real gunman, but seriously... that stress and frustration!!! I understand your anger!

A texting conversation with my daughter:

Me: we want you to feel right at home when you come home for Thanksgiving, so we broke the dryer.

DD: Seriously?

DD: I am bringing 3 weeks of laundry home

me: why would you think I wasn't serious?

Me: Repair guy should be here later in the week.

Dd: that's good

So, the stinking repair was just under $300. Ouch! The repair guy said we should have put an out-of-order sign on the dryer, and sent a pic to her. ( now why didn't I think of that?)

The dryer in her sorority was out for about 2 weeks, about a month ago.

And no, I do not mind that she brings that much home, (she does her own), I just don't plan to do any for the duration!

So sorry the dryer broke. Never fails that it breaks when you really need it. Enjoy your visit!

Oh, she folds? You needed a boy.

No kidding! My DS always would just tell me not to fold his clothes when I was folding everyone else's. Drove me nuts!

He had is 3rd Calc Exam yesterday. Studied a lot, still felt he didn't do that great. Hopefully it won't be too bad! He had 2 exams today and 2 big-ish projects due tomorrow! He's a bit overwhelmed but seems ok. DH noticed, in phone records, that DS sent his last text at 3:26a.m. the other evening. A couple of days later, DS complains to me that he is soooo exhausted! I didn't mention the phone records, but suggested that SLEEP is the cure for exhaustion. He tells me he just CAN'T fall asleep early. I gave him some tips...ear plugs, sleep mask, turn your phone OFF, use the regular alarm clock. He texted "OK" and that was all I heard from him for a while He has not complained about being exhausted anymore. Oh, my.

He's coming home tomorrow, to help us with DS13s Eagle Project. Its been 7 weeks since he's been home! We have seen him a couple of times, at Band events half way between our town and his. But it will be nice to have him home. He's not thrilled about coming, since he will be coming again Tuesday, for Thanksgiving. But its only a 2 hour drive, and he's such good help! He's 6'4, so can reach things the rest of us can't, he's painted a fair amount, he will just make it so much easier and more fun! I need to have lots of goodies that he likes and make sure he has a good time while here! I told him to invite friends over tomorrow night. I hope he does!

When he was getting overwhelmed I reminded him that he gets 30 days off for Christmas VAcation!!! That made him pretty happy! I wonder what it will be like for all of us, having these grown up kids around for an extended visit!!???

I hope he has good test results! And I hope that the Eagle project is coming along nicely... AND hope you had a great visit!!

Mine is coming home tomorrow for a week! He is riding back with his friend from here in town. Initially they were calling for some freezing rain around now, but I think that's gone out of the forecast. Thank heaven! He didn't get a fall break, but they get all of Thanksgiving week off. Just long enough for us to get used to him being here before he leaves again!

Enjoy your visit!!!

DD just sent me a text saying she will be home on Tuesday! She has a Tuesday class that goes until 7pm and so she wasn't going to be able to come home until Wednesday. The professor finally sent out an email canceling that class so she will leave after her Tuesday morning class. Some friends have the entire week off because professors have cancelled classes. DD hasn't been so fortunate. She has a huge test on Monday! She will go back on Sunday, have one week of classes and then finals start. I am so looking forward to Christmas break!!

Hope everyone has a terrific Thanksgiving! Enjoy those "emerging adults" while they are home for the break.........and try not strangle them because of all the bad habits they have developed while they were away!

ENJOY your visit!!!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Hey everyone... good news and a mom vent!

The good news is that DS passed his fraternity test. I guess they have only 2 chances to pass a test and he said he was studying a bunch for it, so I am very happy for him! although... he did text me at 12:30 AM to tell me about it! But I'll take a text from him any time of day (or night!).

The vent... I can't even tell you what it is that he did. It is something I am pretty angry about. poor judgement on his part, but he did say that he won't be doing it again. WHen I told him I was glad he learned his lesson, he actually got defensive... even though he already said he wouldn't do it again! I told him that I appreciate his honesty with me, I truly do, and that he is an adult and making his own choices, but this was one thing that I just will not be ok with. I hope that my response did not close off communication, but I needed to tell him how I felt about it. I hope he can respect that as I am respecting him making his own choices and giving him space.

AND thanksgiving is just around the corner!!! And my birthday is tomorrow! I should be hearing from him tomorrow and we get to see him Wed. night. THe only bad thing about Wed. is that I work late, and we will be pretty late getting up there, but we will go out and get appetizers and dessert at a restaurant to celebrate my birthday!!!

 

[mom2travel]

. AND thanksgiving is just around the corner!!! And my birthday is tomorrow! I should be hearing from him tomorrow and we get to see him Wed. night. THe only bad thing about Wed. is that I work late, and we will be pretty late getting up there, but we will go out and get appetizers and dessert at a restaurant to celebrate my birthday!!!

Happy birthday!!!

I'm looking forward to seeing our DS when he gets home Tuesday night. I hope everyone has great visits with their kids and a Happy Thanksgiving!!