Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[Katy Belle]

My dd has requested a care package but didn't say what she wants Anyone have some good ideas of some stuff I could send her?? I'm thinking an expansion pack of cards for the Cards agaibst Humanity game she has, maybe some warm fuzzy socks, chapstick, candy but after that I'm at a loss.

I saw an idea on Pinterest. The mom bought everything orange! And she included a note that said, "Orange you glad we love you!" It looks like she just walked down the aisles looking for orange packaging...pringles, bugles, skittles, crystal light orange flavor, etc. My son's University's color is Orange...so I plan to do this, even though he is a BOY and may hate it I probably will say, "Orange you glad you go to OSU!" It might be fun to do it every so often with a different color...if you could come up with a little saying to go with it. Here's my attempt at brainstorming.--- Tickled PINK you will be home in 2 weeks! ---Well, YELLOW there. ---- You are the WHITE choice for me. --- I'm feeling BLUE without you --- I RED that college kids like care packages --- Ok, so some of them are pretty lame, but it might be fun to do anyway!

I have sent two packages so far. The first one was his belt, for his dress clothes, I threw in other necessities that we hadn't thought of like envelopes and stamps. The second...I can't even remember! But it was something he needed... Oh, his pass for the toll road, oh, and gym shorts, since he suddenly was going to the gym every day and I was picturing him in the same 2 pair he took with him ...over and over... Of course, the gym going has now stopped and now he's wearing those sloppy gym shorts to class instead of his decent cargo shorts! Oh well, happy and healthy, that is what we are going for!

DS is coming home today for the weekend. His Grandparents are visiting so DH wanted him home. We just saw him last weekend, but it will be nice to have him here.

Happy weekend to all!

 

[mom2rtk]

I saw an idea on Pinterest. The mom bought everything orange! And she included a note that said, "Orange you glad we love you!" It looks like she just walked down the aisles looking for orange packaging...pringles, bugles, skittles, crystal light orange flavor, etc. My son's University's color is Orange...so I plan to do this, even though he is a BOY and may hate it I probably will say, "Orange you glad you go to OSU!" It might be fun to do it every so often with a different color...if you could come up with a little saying to go with it. Here's my attempt at brainstorming.--- Tickled PINK you will be home in 2 weeks! ---Well, YELLOW there. ---- You are the WHITE choice for me. --- I'm feeling BLUE without you --- I RED that college kids like care packages --- Ok, so some of them are pretty lame, but it might be fun to do anyway!

What an awesome idea!

 

[krcit]

Thanks guys!!!

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

I saw an idea on Pinterest. The mom bought everything orange! And she included a note that said, "Orange you glad we love you!" It looks like she just walked down the aisles looking for orange packaging...pringles, bugles, skittles, crystal light orange flavor, etc. My son's University's color is Orange...so I plan to do this, even though he is a BOY and may hate it I probably will say, "Orange you glad you go to OSU!" It might be fun to do it every so often with a different color...if you could come up with a little saying to go with it. Here's my attempt at brainstorming.--- Tickled PINK you will be home in 2 weeks! ---Well, YELLOW there. ---- You are the WHITE choice for me. --- I'm feeling BLUE without you --- I RED that college kids like care packages --- Ok, so some of them are pretty lame, but it might be fun to do anyway!

I have sent two packages so far. The first one was his belt, for his dress clothes, I threw in other necessities that we hadn't thought of like envelopes and stamps. The second...I can't even remember! But it was something he needed... Oh, his pass for the toll road, oh, and gym shorts, since he suddenly was going to the gym every day and I was picturing him in the same 2 pair he took with him ...over and over... Of course, the gym going has now stopped and now he's wearing those sloppy gym shorts to class instead of his decent cargo shorts! Oh well, happy and healthy, that is what we are going for!

DS is coming home today for the weekend. His Grandparents are visiting so DH wanted him home. We just saw him last weekend, but it will be nice to have him here.

Happy weekend to all!

I love your sayings! That is so what I would do for my son (or daughter if I had one). The sillier it sounds the more fun I would have with it.

I was thinking a theme idea would be fun.
Even stickers or note cards with stamps.
Character bandaides.

Silly pencils or pens.

Oh the other thing I was thinking of today was a mylar balloon so when the package gets opened a smiley face balloon floats up. Of course I would make sure it's weighted down in case it gets opened some where that would float up too high.

and if you are sending something that might make her cry, make sure to send one of those little packets of tissues.

A book about Mother's and daughters with short stories. Like Chicken soup for the soul.....

You get my ideas....I'll stop now. But it's endless.

Oh hmmm unless she has allergies, what girl doesn't like getting flowers.
I still remember the day my Dad sent both me and my mom flowers for our birthdays. They were 2 weeks apart and my Dad said "Well I wanted to send Mom some and knew your birthday was soon, so I figured while I was ordering I would send yours early." Sweet.
But honestly the best flowers are the surprise when there is no occasion.

 

[clh2]

The "color" theme works well for homecoming...in the school colors of course!

A few other ideas that our DD loves - sidewalk chalk, bubbles, coloring books and crayons. Some days she just likes to chill out! Might not work for everyone...but - you know your own kids best!

One time last year - we hadn't sent our DD something in a while - and were busy at work, and just couldn't get it together - we sent her a $5.00 bill. No explanation or anything. DD LOVED having the "ATM FAIRY" stop by!

ITunes, starbucks, subway are all good GC's to send (and don't cost a lot to send) if any of those are close to campus.

A deck of cards is also a great "all-purpose" gift.

 

[marcyinPA]

Well, surprise! My DS came home tonight. A good friend of mine was on a college visit with her DD and was passing right by DS's college. She texted him to see if he wanted to go home tonight. He said "sure!" so she picked him up

He will be going back tomorrow afternoon with another friend of ours who is taking his DS back to his college. My DS is on the way

He had dinner with us and we've just been hanging out, watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix. We will go to church tomorrow, grab some brunch, and he will be on his way.

There is something to be said for his college being 40 minutes away

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

Well, surprise! My DS came home tonight. A good friend of mine was on a college visit with her DD and was passing right by DS's college. She texted him to see if he wanted to go home tonight. He said "sure!" so she picked him up

He will be going back tomorrow afternoon with another friend of ours who is taking his DS back to his college. My DS is on the way

He had dinner with us and we've just been hanging out, watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix. We will go to church tomorrow, grab some brunch, and he will be on his way.

There is something to be said for his college being 40 minutes away

yay! Love those surprise visits. Although my son hasn't surprised me and he is 30 minutes away, but then again I did pick him up for a short visit last weekend.

I just texted him that I was thinking of him and loved him and got a love you too back. Yay again! Haven't bothered him all week and the quiet tonight has me missing him. But good to know he is ok.....I guess no news really can be good news, so I'm letting him be. I think it will make the nights he is home much more special.

Enjoy your night!

 

[HERSEY]

I am glad some of us are getting surprise visits. I guess since DS is 4 hours away
I won't be the one surprised.

Next weekend is Family weekend Yeah My only task is to bring a hand held mirror. Poor kid has been cutting his hair with the camera on his phone.. I hope he managed to cut straight.

Last week I decide to get the flu or a cold, I can't tell anymore. I guess I will be hunting down a Walgreens to see if DS can get a flu shot.

I don't know about you all but the weekends are getting to me. I am counting down the time to when DS calls. I am trying to stay busy, I only hope I can settle down or by the end of this school year I will be crazier than normal.

 

[ILUVALASKA]

We are heading from So Cal to Pittsburgh on a red eye this Wednesday for Parents' Weekend. Does anyone know a walk-in clinic in downtown Pittsburgh where we can our son to a Doctor? You may recall he was quite ill 3 weeks ago. His illness is over, but he is still having breathing issues. Thanks!

 

[minniebeth]

I posted a LONG time ago before we took DS to college. I've been reading every single post on here since then! Life got in the way and I haven't been able to post.

I just wanted to say my heart is with every single one of you posting sharing all of your experiences~ the trials and tribulations, the joys and laughter, the tears of all kinds with this whole college experience! My thoughts are with you all! Even though we have a lot of friends who are going through the same experiences IRL, it's great to read about a vast array of experiences.
There are SO many posts I've wanted to comment on, but just know that I appreciate every single one of them!

Overall, this whole experience has been much harder on me than I ever thought it would be. How do you mother for over 18 years (ok, pregnancy counts, lol!) and then all of a sudden, it changes overnight? Leaving DS at school was one of the hardest things. Ever.
Yes, I'm so proud of him, and know that this is an amazing experience for him, yadda yadda... It's still hard

DS never heard from his roommate over the summer. The only way of contact they were given (privacy laws) was through the campus intranet. DS contacted him quite a few times but was never contacted in return. Fast forward, DS' roommate never showed up. For the most part, he didn't mind! I did, I just felt everyone else had that first 'anchor', not that roommates have to be best friends, but it's like the first person to have someone to go to meetings with, activities, meals, etc. until they start branching out meeting others. I felt so bad leaving him alone.
I do have to say, his girlfriend is going to the same school, but they agreed to give each other time to meet and adjust to others, so he felt he didn't want to immediately attach himself to her out of comfort.
Slowly, he has met a lot of new people and has had some really great experiences. He is doing Air Force ROTC, so the majority of his connections have been made through that.

His RA told him he could deloft the other empty bed in the room, so he did, but then when he put a sheet on it and some pillows to hang out and study, like a couch, his RA told him he couldn't because he didn't pay to have a single. Seriously?? Give me a break. He will go through roommate consolidation process in October. That should be interesting.

DS is pretty good about texting and we talk on the phone for an hour about once or twice a week. He's getting more busy now, so that's good. He says weekends are boring because the campus gets quiet and he doesn't party. We Skyped once but it was too hard for me, I missed him way too much!
We did get to see him yesterday for Family Weekend. That was awesome!!

The time has gone by quickly because I was fortunate enough to go to Disneyland right after he left for the Marathon Weekend events. Disney is truly my therapy Then I had surgery, so it's been busy for me.

I have some care pkg ideas of what I did, but I'll put that into another post as to not make it longer than it already is, lol.

Continued best wishes to all!!

 

[LisaR]

I am glad some of us are getting surprise visits. I guess since DS is 4 hours away
I won't be the one surprised.

Next weekend is Family weekend Yeah My only task is to bring a hand held mirror. Poor kid has been cutting his hair with the camera on his phone.. I hope he managed to cut straight.

Last week I decide to get the flu or a cold, I can't tell anymore. I guess I will be hunting down a Walgreens to see if DS can get a flu shot.

I don't know about you all but the weekends are getting to me. I am counting down the time to when DS calls. I am trying to stay busy, I only hope I can settle down or by the end of this school year I will be crazier than normal.

Weekends are definitely harder for me. During the week, I'm busy and if DD was home, she would have been gone most of the day anyway so it isn't as big of a deal. Weekends are different now. DS had a performance today and DD wasn't there to see him. That made me sad because that is likely the reality from this point forward. The three of us went to a local festival yesterday and it just felt so weird without DD. Overall, it really has gotten easier, but I still miss her like crazy. Can't wait until she gets home this Thursday!! I'm hoping her visit doesn't set me back to the way I was feeling the first week she was gone.

 

[nancygirl1]

I'm so happy to report that one of my son's is sitting about 6 feet away from me on the living room couch!! It feels like forever since I've seen him, but he reminded me that it's only been 3 weeks. Three weeks? It feels like forever. He said it feels like he's been gone for a weekend. Quite different perspectives!

Unfortunately, the reason he's home is because he reinjured his knee that he had surgery on back in December. He had his ACL reconstructed and both meniscus repaired. We are off to the Orthopedic doctor tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for him.

It is fabulous to see him! He has such a bright, sunny personality. I really miss the energy he brings to our lives and house! Although, honestly under the circumstances I would prefer to still be missing him. Go figure!

 

[mom2rtk]

I am glad some of us are getting surprise visits. I guess since DS is 4 hours away
I won't be the one surprised.

Next weekend is Family weekend Yeah My only task is to bring a hand held mirror. Poor kid has been cutting his hair with the camera on his phone.. I hope he managed to cut straight.

Last week I decide to get the flu or a cold, I can't tell anymore. I guess I will be hunting down a Walgreens to see if DS can get a flu shot.

I don't know about you all but the weekends are getting to me. I am counting down the time to when DS calls. I am trying to stay busy, I only hope I can settle down or by the end of this school year I will be crazier than normal.

I agree. Yeah for those getting some surprise visits! And like you, with my DS 3 1/2 hours away, no surprises heading my way. I think he's ready to get home and we'll make that happen soon, but it's a ton of driving for a pretty short visit. He wanted us to come next weekend and get him, but it's his sister's birthday, so I told him to think about whether he'd prefer the following weekend when there will be fewer 13 year old girls around. And whether he'd prefer to be home when the focus could be on him. But hopefully soon.

 

[mom2rtk]

We are heading from So Cal to Pittsburgh on a red eye this Wednesday for Parents' Weekend. Does anyone know a walk-in clinic in downtown Pittsburgh where we can our son to a Doctor? You may recall he was quite ill 3 weeks ago. His illness is over, but he is still having breathing issues. Thanks!

I'm so sorry your DIS is still not feeling well. Mine told me yesterday his sore throat is back and he never really got over his illness. I told him to stay on the allergy meds and keep me posted. Maybe we should all just pray for an early hard freeze?

Weekends are definitely harder for me. During the week, I'm busy and if DD was home, she would have been gone most of the day anyway so it isn't as big of a deal. Weekends are different now. DS had a performance today and DD wasn't there to see him. That made me sad because that is likely the reality from this point forward. The three of us went to a local festival yesterday and it just felt so weird without DD. Overall, it really has gotten easier, but I still miss her like crazy. Can't wait until she gets home this Thursday!! I'm hoping her visit doesn't set me back to the way I was feeling the first week she was gone.

Yeah for your DD coming home next weekend! I hope it goes great you can enjoy the visit without worrying about how it will be when she goes back.

I'm so happy to report that one of my son's is sitting about 6 feet away from me on the living room couch!! It feels like forever since I've seen him, but he reminded me that it's only been 3 weeks. Three weeks? It feels like forever. He said it feels like he's been gone for a weekend. Quite different perspectives!

Unfortunately, the reason he's home is because he reinjured his knee that he had surgery on back in December. He had his ACL reconstructed and both meniscus repaired. We are off to the Orthopedic doctor tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for him.

It is fabulous to see him! He has such a bright, sunny personality. I really miss the energy he brings to our lives and house! Although, honestly under the circumstances I would prefer to still be missing him. Go figure!

Mine came home 3 weeks ago for Labor Day after being at school for 3 weeks. It's really seeming now like forever since he left. Sigh.

I hope all is well with your son's knee but he still needs to come home and see the doctor again right when you're missing him most.

 

[luvavacation]

Good morning, everyone! My DH and I are back from our anniversary trip driving through French Canada, and we somehow have remained married after 10 days of being together, just the two of us, with no kids to interact with. I never threw him off the old wall in Old Quebec, and he didn't leave me at a rest stop. I guess that is a successful vacation?

I am glad to see that we are still checking in and moving forward without our childrens' constant presence. It sure isn't easy, but as long as our kids are doing well, letting go continues on.

ILUVALASKA, I hope you being with your son will help set him on the road to recovery. It must be so hard to be so far away when you child is continuing to not feel well. Four hours away from my daughter seems such a great distance, but having to get on a plane and fly to see her would be even worse. I feel for you. Let us know how it goes, ok?

I had mentioned before I left that my youngest was going to be driving home this weekend, while we were gone, to visit with her big sister (who was staying here housesitting for us). I was very, very worried, for this was her first time driving home from school, and though she had a friend with her that lives a couple towns over, it is 4 hours, on highway and country roads, and I was just worried because that is my nature. Thank God, she did great, and arrived home safely, and back to school yesterday safely.

DD did say that going back to school was really tough, the drive seemed to take a really long time, and she was very tired. I told her she needed to stop more often to stretch her legs, but she is bound and determined to make excellent time back to school, and did not want to stop. In her mind, driving straight through in a speeding pack of cars, even when tired, was better than spending five minutes at a rest stop to stretch the legs. Oy, that girl sure does remind me of someone I know very well. Why does she have to be so much like me? It's fine if I power through, driving 80 mph in a 65, but she is only 18, not experienced enough yet to be doing that, and she is too stubborn to understand the ramifications of driving while tired! At least she had a passenger to talk to with, but still, I worry that her stubborn nature will cause problems in the end.

DD also wants to come home next weekend, Family Weekend at her school. Says she wants to be home instead of with the crowds. We have a hotel booked to go down there, but she wants home. Before she drove home, she said she was going to drive home alone next weekend, since her friend was not coming home 2 weekends in a row. I vehemently disagreed, because hey, it is a long drive, and it would have been only her 2nd time driving it, plus she would be alone!

She disagreed, and I said that we would talk again after she made it back to school. Sure enough, she called when she arrived, told me all about being so tired (though very proud of cutting 30 minutes off her friend's time when the friend drove previously ), and said she was taking the bus home next weekend because she just didn't want to drive that by herself two weekends in a row. What, mom has wisdom and knew this ahead of time? Pat on back for mom, and pat on back for my DD for putting aside her will and realizing mom might be right on this.

Next year, after driving the route home a few times and being more familiar with it, or even this spring, fine, she can do it on her own, but for only the second time coming home, I just feel caution is more prudent. And I will worry less. Less worry is better for my hair colour, as grey hair is not my style.

While we were gone, eldest DD received her offer of acceptance to graduate school! It is now official, come January she will be pursuing her graduate degree in Aquatic Entomology at Purdue! She will continue to work in the labs with her professor until then, so she remains at her college, and will be there for the next 2.5 years. We are very proud of her, and it won't cost a darn thing, because it is a grant of some sort and she also gets paid a stipend! Maybe this is how graduate school is, I don't know, but I am thrilled we aren't paying!

I have to say, it was wonderful to come home from my trip and have my girls waiting for us at the house. Seeing the driveway with their cars in it as we drove up was so pleasing. But then they both left a few hours later, within 5 minutes of each other! What the heck, I don't like this! So DH and I spent last night moping around again, realizing that, once again, we have to get used to them being gone. Two steps forward, one step back, eventually it will get easier to say good-bye.

Instead of my girls, I now busy myself again with two needy German Shepherds and cats that are vying with the dogs for the space around me. They may not be my daughters, but I am glad I have them.

And now to go off and spend the day cleaning, because apparently my eldest still has no idea how to clean the house before mom and dad get home from vacation! Here's hoping you all have a good week, and the kids do well!

 

[yoopermom]

I have to agree with Lisa that weekdays are okay, but weekends are really, really hard (especially because my DH works 3 12s on the weekends, so I'm basically alone...).

Since DS is 7 hrs away, we knew we wouldn't see him until Thanksgiving, but it's pretty sad that I'm "jealous" when other people get to see him before me! My DC, DA, and DU only live about 1 1/2 hrs from there, so they're going to stop over this next weekend and take him to lunch and shopping. Wish I could be there for the fun!

One thing I really tryed to instill in him ahead of time was to NOT wait until the last minute, and get things done ahead of time. So when he called us last night for his weekly call and sounded distracted, I knew something was up. Yup, he had a paper due by midnight that he was working on the revisions on so he could email it back! Urgh!

The good thing is that he and his DF were always the "strong silent types" with each other the past few years, would work on things together, but never talk much. Now they have an actual conversation on the phone weekly, it's amazing! I learn more from eavesdropping on them than I do from either one alone .

Terri

 

[Katy Belle]

DS was home for the weekend! And he informed me that he is coming to the Band Competition next Saturday to watch his brother and friends compete! That is in a town between us, one hour drive for each of us. So he will come there, and drive back to the dorm, but I will at least get to see him!

When he arrived in town Friday night I was already at the High School doing my job as Uniform Lady with the Marching Band. The kids stand in line, and we let in a few at a time. So he stood in line with them and when he came in I heard his low voice say, "Uniform 197 please." LOL!!! Sadly, that has been passed onto another big guy! All of the band kids were thrilled to see him. He got enough hugs to last a good long time! The one girl in the Tuba Section, he's a tuba player, LOVES him, he's her big brother. She took him and he helped her get ready, so sweet! Then he hung with old friends and helped the band with the props during the halftime show!

My inlaws were here, so we were busy all weekend. He did leave a few times and went out with friends. Sunday he left around 3 to get back to his dorm. He ended up having to help out a friend and drive her to her school, which took an extra 2 hours of his time...but he survived.

Friday night after the game he hurried into the computer room...he had an assignment due at midnight that he was still finishing up! So, many of our kids are waiting to the last minute! He is ahead on some other things though, or so he says!

He seems happy and settled. I'm thrilled! He forgot his pillows and his phone charger here. So he will be making a trip to Wal-Mart today!

Have a good week everyone!

 

[LisaR]

DD has been playing intramural volleyball. After her game last night, she sent me a text saying she hurt her wrist and it was swollen. I told her to ice it and see how it is in the morning. This morning she said it was better; "not as swollen," but it still hurt. She just sent me a picture of it a few minutes ago. I'd hate to have seen it before it was "not as swollen." The campus clinic doesn't do x-rays and she really doesn't want to go to a clinic. She said it can wait until she gets home on Thursday. I want to go down there right now and smack her upside the head and then take her to a clinic!

 

[nancygirl1]

My heart hurts for all of who have kids in school so far away. I know that I am blessed to have them both within 2 hours of us. Even then, when you don't see them it feels like they're farther away than that. What hurts me the most is when I feel them pushing me away. I know that it's a natural thing for our kids to do, but I don't have to like it.

It really does help to stay busy. I agree that it is very difficult when you go and do something that the whole family used to do together and your child is not there. For the longest time I just couldn't do anything that we used to all do. I felt like I wasn't done being their mommy and there was so much left that I wanted to do with them. I just wasn't ready.

Anyhow....My son went to the orthopedic doctor this afternoon for his knee and the doc said that he wants to handle his new injury conservatively at first. So he will be going to physical therapy either at the school health center or somewhere close to where he's living. We will be sending him back with our second car for the time being. He's not supposed to walk much and the bus stop he goes to is a half hour walk for him.

Life is full of drama!

Hope you are all doing better today

 

[LisaR]

My heart hurts for all of who have kids in school so far away. I know that I am blessed to have them both within 2 hours of us. Even then, when you don't see them it feels like they're farther away than that. What hurts me the most is when I feel them pushing me away. I know that it's a natural thing for our kids to do, but I don't have to like it.

It really does help to stay busy. I agree that it is very difficult when you go and do something that the whole family used to do together and your child is not there. For the longest time I just couldn't do anything that we used to all do. I felt like I wasn't done being their mommy and there was so much left that I wanted to do with them. I just wasn't ready.

Anyhow....My son went to the orthopedic doctor this afternoon for his knee and the doc said that he wants to handle his new injury conservatively at first. So he will be going to physical therapy either at the school health center or somewhere close to where he's living. We will be sending him back with our second car for the time being. He's not supposed to walk much and the bus stop he goes to is a half hour walk for him.

Life is full of drama!

Hope you are all doing better today

DD has a cyst in one knee and ended up with a cortisone injection the day before she left for college. It really hurt for those first few days so she was very thankful to have her car. Her campus isn't that big, but walking with a bum knee is never fun. I hope PT helps your son and he is feeling better soon.