Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[krcit]

My dd will be 3 1/2 hours away too We are going Wed and move in day is Thurs. I had her fridge and tv shipped to Walmart up there and her stuff is waiting at Bed, Bath and beyond so hopefully the car won't be too jammed. She has school for a week and then is off for a week and has to come home, they close the dorms.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

AWWW....so glad you guys are doing OK. Have a great yr.

Youngest dd is a JR so I have 2 yrs. The college she is leaning toward is 3.5 hrs away as well. She already is collecting stuff. She has gone to that college & stayed in the dorms for various summer programs.

 

[mom2rtk]

My dd will be 3 1/2 hours away too We are going Wed and move in day is Thurs. I had her fridge and tv shipped to Walmart up there and her stuff is waiting at Bed, Bath and beyond so hopefully the car won't be too jammed. She has school for a week and then is off for a week and has to come home, they close the dorms.

AWWW....so glad you guys are doing OK. Have a great yr.

Youngest dd is a JR so I have 2 yrs. The college she is leaning toward is 3.5 hrs away as well. She already is collecting stuff. She has gone to that college & stayed in the dorms for various summer programs.

LOL, so what is up with that 3 1/2 hour thing? You guys should have told me sooner to just look for a school 3 1/2 hours out. It would have saved us a lot of hassle with that whole "college search" thing.

Kcrit, good luck with the big move. How odd to have school close for a week so early in the year though.

 

[disykat]

I'm joining late to this thread. My son will be about 3 hours away. He just got back from 8 weeks of drum corp, and has a few weeks still at home before leaving for school. I'm hoping the next transition will be a little easier because sending him off for two months the day after graduation was a little tough!

This is our youngest so the whole getting used to an empty nest thing has been interesting.

 

[krcit]

LOL, so what is up with that 3 1/2 hour thing? You guys should have told me sooner to just look for a school 3 1/2 hours out. It would have saved us a lot of hassle with that whole "college search" thing.

Kcrit, good luck with the big move. How odd to have school close for a week so early in the year though.

I know!!! It's bizarre... I think it's Jewish holidays combined with Labor Day. I'm just thinking of it as a good thing because if we forget anything we can get it that week. She is taking the bus home though and then I guess we will drive her back. I need to get her boots and a coat..it gets COLD where she is going so at least I have another week to do that!

 

[marcyinPA]

I am way behind in this thread- have been so busy with appointments and getting my DS ready to go. He was away at camp all summer as paid staff, and now we are finally able to think college!

We have been buying things here and there, but I will admit that I have been dragging my feet. And now- bam- our 14 year old car that my DH drives wouldn't pass inspection yesterday without at least $1400 in repairs, so we went out yesterday and bought a new car. So NOT what I was expecting right now. Sooooo- money is tight now and the thought of spending more of it on college stuff gives me the shakes.

I think our biggest "oops" is that he waited until Friday night to buy/rent his books. This would not have been so big of an issue if the rental books didn't come from a third party and are shipped to your house. We paid an extra $20 for expedited shipping so hopefully they arrive before we leave on Saturday. One of the books was not available as a rental OR used, so he had to buy it new. That one will be available for pickup at the bookstore when we arrive on campus. It's all paid for, so an easy transaction.

He is only going to be about 45 minutes away, which I think is a good thing. He is a "home body", so he had no interest in being too far. He, of course, will be coming home for Labor Day weekend- but I've convinced him to stay Friday night and we will pick him up on Saturday morning. I think it will be good for him to get a taste of dorm life on a weekend night

He and his roommate split the cost of a microfridge rental. At this university, you can bring your own fridge, but you can't bring your own microwave. If you want a microwave, you need to rent the microfridge. I did my food shopping today, and picked him up some stuff that he will eat as snacks I am sure- microwave mac and cheese cups, ravioli cups, popcorn, and then a couple of boxes of Nutrigrain bars (all he eats for breakfast at home anyway! LOL) and some bottles of juice and water. What kinds of drinks did your kids take to college? Large bottles or individual bottles? I figure the less stuff he has to wash, the better.

So, he moves in this Saturday between 1 and 2 pm. His roommate is already there for marching band. He sounds like a nice guy and they sound really compatible. Hope real life is as good as Facebook and text message!

He is helping his girlfriend move into her dorm at her university on Friday- that should be interesting. I don't know where their relationship is going to be headed once they are apart. They've been together for just about a year now.
Hang in there everyone!!!

 

[LisaR]

I know!!! It's bizarre... I think it's Jewish holidays combined with Labor Day. I'm just thinking of it as a good thing because if we forget anything we can get it that week. She is taking the bus home though and then I guess we will drive her back. I need to get her boots and a coat..it gets COLD where she is going so at least I have another week to do that!

That is weird. I am 99% sure my DD's college doesn't ever close. I am pretty sure I remember them saying at orientation that the dorms are always open even over the major holidays. I don't think they offer food service or anything else (recreation, activities, etc) but I don't think they ever close.

 

[SLP958]

I have cried and cried reading these stories.

DS starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know it is not the same as college I have some of the same feelings.

I may have to be sedated by the time college comes!

Here's hoping all our transitions go smoothly!

 

[nancygirl1]

Two years ago I posted a similar thread. Only all 3 of mine left for college on the same weekend. We moved them all in over a 2 day period. Two in one day and across the state from each other!

I have twins and lost them both at the same time. Their brother is 2 years older so I was used to him leaving (I guess). It was one of the worst couple of days of my life I was hysterical for 2 weeks. Every moment alone I would sob and sob. I felt like my life was over. Actually, when you think about it, the life I had known for 20 years was over. I do not transition well at all...Oh, God...just thinking about it makes my stomach sick. All I could think about was how I didn't have enough time with them and that I wanted my babies back. It was horrible!!

When we got back from dropping the last one off, my husband and I stood in the middle of the kitchen with our arms around each other and just cried...WOW... I'm almost crying again. Eventually we got used to being alone. The house was sooo quiet.

I remember the first weekend they twins came home. I felt so strange and unfamiliar to me. For the first time I wasn't sure how to act or what to say. I didn't want them to know the depth of my sorrow and knew I needed to act "normal'. After a while we did get used to it. It was so nice when they came home to visit.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but it just felt so foreign to me not to be "needed" so much anymore. Eventually we did settle into a rhythm and things have settled down. I don't look forward to them leaving me again, but it is easier. Vacations come fast and so does summer.

I love my boys.....just the thought of them leaving me again in a couple of weeks makes me sad, but I am so thrilled for them that have this chance. I don't get upset like I first did. I'm sad to see them go, but it soon passes. We keep in touch through Skype, email, texts and phone calls. It's wonderful to have so many ways to say "hi, how ya doing?" That makes it so much better.

Your life will ease into a rhythm, a different one, but one nonetheless. It really will get better. It may not seem like it now, but it will. Don't dwell on the "loss", but the excitement for your son. We bring them up to let them go.

Hang in there...

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm joining late to this thread. My son will be about 3 hours away. He just got back from 8 weeks of drum corp, and has a few weeks still at home before leaving for school. I'm hoping the next transition will be a little easier because sending him off for two months the day after graduation was a little tough!

This is our youngest so the whole getting used to an empty nest thing has been interesting.

Sounds like your experience over the summer probably has you more ready for this than most. I went to a late start school myself, but am glad we didn't have to wait any longer with our son. The anticipation just stunk. (Says the person checking her cell phone to see if she missed a call ). But you really deserve a few weeks before the big drop-off.

I know!!! It's bizarre... I think it's Jewish holidays combined with Labor Day. I'm just thinking of it as a good thing because if we forget anything we can get it that week. She is taking the bus home though and then I guess we will drive her back. I need to get her boots and a coat..it gets COLD where she is going so at least I have another week to do that!

That is weird. I am 99% sure my DD's college doesn't ever close. I am pretty sure I remember them saying at orientation that the dorms are always open even over the major holidays. I don't think they offer food service or anything else (recreation, activities, etc) but I don't think they ever close.

I remember when I was in school there was usually a student or two left behind in the dorms over Christmas. I always felt bad for them. I don't think they closed down completely at all.

I have cried and cried reading these stories.

DS starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know it is not the same as college I have some of the same feelings.

I may have to be sedated by the time college comes!

Here's hoping all our transitions go smoothly!

I know how you feel. I have my days where I feel I'm just not cut out of all this parenting stuff.

I did find a great way of coping when our second started kindergarten though (the one we just took to college). I was about 38 weeks pregnant with our 3rd and was so thankful he got started before the baby arrived that I just went home and took a nap. I didn't have the energy for angst!

Good luck on the big day tomorrow!

I am way behind in this thread- have been so busy with appointments and getting my DS ready to go. He was away at camp all summer as paid staff, and now we are finally able to think college!

We have been buying things here and there, but I will admit that I have been dragging my feet. And now- bam- our 14 year old car that my DH drives wouldn't pass inspection yesterday without at least $1400 in repairs, so we went out yesterday and bought a new car. So NOT what I was expecting right now. Sooooo- money is tight now and the thought of spending more of it on college stuff gives me the shakes.

I think our biggest "oops" is that he waited until Friday night to buy/rent his books. This would not have been so big of an issue if the rental books didn't come from a third party and are shipped to your house. We paid an extra $20 for expedited shipping so hopefully they arrive before we leave on Saturday. One of the books was not available as a rental OR used, so he had to buy it new. That one will be available for pickup at the bookstore when we arrive on campus. It's all paid for, so an easy transaction.

He is only going to be about 45 minutes away, which I think is a good thing. He is a "home body", so he had no interest in being too far. He, of course, will be coming home for Labor Day weekend- but I've convinced him to stay Friday night and we will pick him up on Saturday morning. I think it will be good for him to get a taste of dorm life on a weekend night

He and his roommate split the cost of a microfridge rental. At this university, you can bring your own fridge, but you can't bring your own microwave. If you want a microwave, you need to rent the microfridge. I did my food shopping today, and picked him up some stuff that he will eat as snacks I am sure- microwave mac and cheese cups, ravioli cups, popcorn, and then a couple of boxes of Nutrigrain bars (all he eats for breakfast at home anyway! LOL) and some bottles of juice and water. What kinds of drinks did your kids take to college? Large bottles or individual bottles? I figure the less stuff he has to wash, the better.

So, he moves in this Saturday between 1 and 2 pm. His roommate is already there for marching band. He sounds like a nice guy and they sound really compatible. Hope real life is as good as Facebook and text message!

He is helping his girlfriend move into her dorm at her university on Friday- that should be interesting. I don't know where their relationship is going to be headed once they are apart. They've been together for just about a year now.
Hang in there everyone!!!

That really does stink to have big car expenses just as you are getting him ready to go. I hope things settle down for you.

My son's school provided a small fridge for each room. We can add a microwave, but without access to a freezer, I didn't think he'd use it much for what he likes to eat. And each floor has a full kitchen with microwave and full fridge. I figure if he really needs a microwave he can walk down to the end of the hall. Besides, I kept asking if he wanted a microwave, and he wouldn't commit, so we opted just to wait and see how it worked out.

We just left him with a 12 pack of soda and some individual Gatorade bottles. I think when he has been there for a bit he'll request more. I also got a few of his favorite snacks and a big box of cereal. I'm guessing he'll have more of a list when he comes home over Labor Day.

Fingers crossed your son and room mate are indeed getting along as well as they say. I'm sort of holding my breath trying to get an idea of whether mine is getting along with his as well as he says. It seems too good to be true. They have been studying together and doing some recreational things like shooting pool. I take that all as a good sign. He's not on Facebook though, so all I really have to go on are the phone calls, which might have all been with the roomie sitting right there.

That's a bummer on the books, especially when money is tight. My son's chemistry class is using a new text this year so no used copies or rentals. The hard cover book was $255. He opted for the loose-leaf version since it was "only" $170. That one was hard to swallow. Thankfully the other classes weren't too bad. But then in comparison, nothing would be!

 

[krcit]

That is weird. I am 99% sure my DD's college doesn't ever close. I am pretty sure I remember them saying at orientation that the dorms are always open even over the major holidays. I don't think they offer food service or anything else (recreation, activities, etc) but I don't think they ever close.

They told us during the tour that the dorms are closed during all school breaks. There is special housing for international students or those from across the country but it is limited. maybe because it is a state school I know that she has to be out by 2 pm on the Wed before Thanksgiving and can't returen until Sunday.

 

[LisaR]

I have cried and cried reading these stories.

DS starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know it is not the same as college I have some of the same feelings.

I may have to be sedated by the time college comes!

Here's hoping all our transitions go smoothly!

You always hear people say they grow up quickly. There are times when it doesn't seem that way, but it really is the truth.

Two years ago I posted a similar thread. Only all 3 of mine left for college on the same weekend. We moved them all in over a 2 day period. Two in one day and across the state from each other!

I have twins and lost them both at the same time. Their brother is 2 years older so I was used to him leaving (I guess). It was one of the worst couple of days of my life I was hysterical for 2 weeks. Every moment alone I would sob and sob. I felt like my life was over. Actually, when you think about it, the life I had known for 20 years was over. I do not transition well at all...Oh, God...just thinking about it makes my stomach sick. All I could think about was how I didn't have enough time with them and that I wanted my babies back. It was horrible!!

When we got back from dropping the last one off, my husband and I stood in the middle of the kitchen with our arms around each other and just cried...WOW... I'm almost crying again. Eventually we got used to being alone. The house was sooo quiet.

I remember the first weekend they twins came home. I felt so strange and unfamiliar to me. For the first time I wasn't sure how to act or what to say. I didn't want them to know the depth of my sorrow and knew I needed to act "normal'. After a while we did get used to it. It was so nice when they came home to visit.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but it just felt so foreign to me not to be "needed" so much anymore. Eventually we did settle into a rhythm and things have settled down. I don't look forward to them leaving me again, but it is easier. Vacations come fast and so does summer.

I love my boys.....just the thought of them leaving me again in a couple of weeks makes me sad, but I am so thrilled for them that have this chance. I don't get upset like I first did. I'm sad to see them go, but it soon passes. We keep in touch through Skype, email, texts and phone calls. It's wonderful to have so many ways to say "hi, how ya doing?" That makes it so much better.

Your life will ease into a rhythm, a different one, but one nonetheless. It really will get better. It may not seem like it now, but it will. Don't dwell on the "loss", but the excitement for your son. We bring them up to let them go.

Hang in there...

All three at once? And twins? That must have been horrible! Glad to know it gets easier.

I've been doing pretty good. DD has been great about keeping in touch, but the little things are getting to me. I washed her towels today from her last shower on Thursday morning and as I was putting them away, I started to tear up. How silly! DH and I went shopping and they had blueberries on sale which are DD's favorite. We made eye contact and had to walk away because we were both ready to burst into tears.

My son's school provided a small fridge for each room. We can add a microwave, but without access to a freezer, I didn't think he'd use it much for what he likes to eat. And each floor has a full kitchen with microwave and full fridge. I figure if he really needs a microwave he can walk down to the end of the hall. Besides, I kept asking if he wanted a microwave, and he wouldn't commit, so we opted just to wait and see how it worked out.

We just left him with a 12 pack of soda and some individual Gatorade bottles. I think when he has been there for a bit he'll request more. I also got a few of his favorite snacks and a big box of cereal. I'm guessing he'll have more of a list when he comes home over Labor Day.

My DD is in a room with a kitchenette (full size fridge, microwave, sink, and counter top). She isn't a huge fan of eating out and we are plant based eaters so there aren't always a ton of choices. She plans on only eating out for one meal a day. Today she sent me a picture of her black bean soup that she made in her crockpot. She fed herself and a few other kids and said it was a huge hit. That made me happy! There is a full size kitchen on one floor and she says she plans on doing some baking at some point. I don't know if the kitchen is stocked with cookware. I guess I should find out before we visit.

 

[nancygirl1]

Sorry, I meant daughter...

 

[mom2travel]

I got a few photos tonight from a friend who is at DS's school and took him and her DD out to dinner

and FYI - if anyone needs a good cry... Toy Story 3 is on ABC Family right now

 

[mom2rtk]

and FYI - if anyone needs a good cry... Toy Story 3 is on ABC Family right now

LOL..... not for all the tea in China!

My son did finally call tonight. He sounds like he's doing pretty well. Well, except for the fact that classes start tomorrow and he has homework tonight!

 

[mom2rtk]

I've been doing pretty good. DD has been great about keeping in touch, but the little things are getting to me. I washed her towels today from her last shower on Thursday morning and as I was putting them away, I started to tear up. How silly! DH and I went shopping and they had blueberries on sale which are DD's favorite. We made eye contact and had to walk away because we were both ready to burst into tears.



My DD is in a room with a kitchenette (full size fridge, microwave, sink, and counter top). She isn't a huge fan of eating out and we are plant based eaters so there aren't always a ton of choices. She plans on only eating out for one meal a day. Today she sent me a picture of her black bean soup that she made in her crockpot. She fed herself and a few other kids and said it was a huge hit. That made me happy! There is a full size kitchen on one floor and she says she plans on doing some baking at some point. I don't know if the kitchen is stocked with cookware. I guess I should find out before we visit.

I have actually done pretty well this week, but grocery shopping was hard. I kept reaching for the things we get him every week.

How great that your DD made and shared her black bean soup! My son would have definitely thought I'd gone off the deep end if I had sent him with a crock pot! But then he didn't cook at home either.

I did take a moment to dig through the cabinets in the floor kitchen when we moved him in and it had small amount of most things anyone would want. I should get him a roll of foil though so he can get some frozen pizzas to keep in that freezer. That's about his speed for cooking.

And I'm so jealous you got a picture! I guess if it was my daughter I would have had a bunch of those too by now.

 

[clh2]

I have cried and cried reading these stories.

DS starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know it is not the same as college I have some of the same feelings.

I may have to be sedated by the time college comes!

Here's hoping all our transitions go smoothly!

OMG. I still remember the first day of kindergarten. Now...DD is an only. We read her just about every book possible.

Somehow - I got blindsided when the K-teacher started to read the Kissing Hand. I had NEVER, NEVER, NEVER had heard that story before. I barely was able to keep my "mom-ness" together. What a great story. I just had not heard that story before.

Good Luck to you!

And yes - dropping my DD off at her first year of college was a piece of cake (after I stressed about it for 1 year) compared to kindergarten!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I'm joining late to this thread. My son will be about 3 hours away. He just got back from 8 weeks of drum corp, and has a few weeks still at home before leaving for school. I'm hoping the next transition will be a little easier because sending him off for two months the day after graduation was a little tough!

This is our youngest so the whole getting used to an empty nest thing has been interesting.

Welcome to the thread, it has been VERY helpful! I can't imagine having had DS gone for 2 months this summer. He was gone for 2 weeks for a boyscout hike, and that was 2 weeks too long.

We have been buying things here and there, but I will admit that I have been dragging my feet. And now- bam- our 14 year old car that my DH drives wouldn't pass inspection yesterday without at least $1400 in repairs, so we went out yesterday and bought a new car. So NOT what I was expecting right now. Sooooo- money is tight now and the thought of spending more of it on college stuff gives me the shakes.

I think our biggest "oops" is that he waited until Friday night to buy/rent his books. This would not have been so big of an issue if the rental books didn't come from a third party and are shipped to your house. We paid an extra $20 for expedited shipping so hopefully they arrive before we leave on Saturday. One of the books was not available as a rental OR used, so he had to buy it new. That one will be available for pickup at the bookstore when we arrive on campus. It's all paid for, so an easy transaction.

He is only going to be about 45 minutes away, which I think is a good thing. He is a "home body", so he had no interest in being too far. He, of course, will be coming home for Labor Day weekend- but I've convinced him to stay Friday night and we will pick him up on Saturday morning. I think it will be good for him to get a taste of dorm life on a weekend night

He and his roommate split the cost of a microfridge rental. At this university, you can bring your own fridge, but you can't bring your own microwave. If you want a microwave, you need to rent the microfridge. I did my food shopping today, and picked him up some stuff that he will eat as snacks I am sure- microwave mac and cheese cups, ravioli cups, popcorn, and then a couple of boxes of Nutrigrain bars (all he eats for breakfast at home anyway! LOL) and some bottles of juice and water. What kinds of drinks did your kids take to college? Large bottles or individual bottles? I figure the less stuff he has to wash, the better.

Can't imagine buying a car so close to the start of college...

DS ordered books weeks ago and they still say it is still in process. VERY frustrating. Trying to get all of this done. However he did say that he would do in store pick up.

All he is bringing is a coffee cup so not much to wash.

I have cried and cried reading these stories.

DS starts kindergarten tomorrow. I know it is not the same as college I have some of the same feelings.

I may have to be sedated by the time college comes!

Here's hoping all our transitions go smoothly!

Hang in there with Kindergarten. I cried too. One thing I want to tell you is that I saw a GREAT thing on pinterest. Too late for my kids, but if you are interested... Each first day of the school year a picture is taken with a large or XL tshirt that has the graduating year of the child on it, and then take a picture every year with the same tshirt.

hang in there

Two years ago I posted a similar thread. Only all 3 of mine left for college on the same weekend. We moved them all in over a 2 day period. Two in one day and across the state from each other!

I have twins and lost them both at the same time. Their brother is 2 years older so I was used to him leaving (I guess). It was one of the worst couple of days of my life I was hysterical for 2 weeks. Every moment alone I would sob and sob. I felt like my life was over. Actually, when you think about it, the life I had known for 20 years was over. I do not transition well at all...Oh, God...just thinking about it makes my stomach sick. All I could think about was how I didn't have enough time with them and that I wanted my babies back. It was horrible!!

When we got back from dropping the last one off, my husband and I stood in the middle of the kitchen with our arms around each other and just cried...WOW... I'm almost crying again. Eventually we got used to being alone. The house was sooo quiet.

I can't imagine what you went through with twins going off to college. Your post made me cry, It does give me a bit of hope, but makes me sad too...

I got a few photos tonight from a friend who is at DS's school and took him and her DD out to dinner

and FYI - if anyone needs a good cry... Toy Story 3 is on ABC Family right now

Nope, can't handle that!

 

[LisaR]

I have actually done pretty well this week, but grocery shopping was hard. I kept reaching for the things we get him every week.

How great that your DD made and shared her black bean soup! My son would have definitely thought I'd gone off the deep end if I had sent him with a crock pot! But then he didn't cook at home either.

Trust me, my son won't be taking a crock pot either. If I sent one with him, he'd use it to store his dirty underwear.

At orientation, I hung out with a group of moms and we all had daughters we were sending off to college. We were talking about the dining plan options and we all said our kids had told us they will not be eating out every day. Most of us didn't even plan on buying a dining plan, but instead just planned on loading money onto a card that can be used anywhere on campus for anything (food or otherwise). We joked that the parents of boys probably sign up for the unlimited food plan and that still isn't enough to fill them up.

And I'm so jealous you got a picture! I guess if it was my daughter I would have had a bunch of those too by now.

I have a friend who sent her son off to college this year. He moved in the same day as DD (different college). We have been commiserating together. I have to curtail my excitement though because her son isn't as good with the pictures and texts as DD is. I really think it is just a girl thing. My son rarely texts me when he is gone all day and when he does, it is generally a one word answer to my question. "How are things going? Are you having fun?" "Yeah."

 

[donac]

My son bought his own crockpot when he was a sophomore in college. He called me about if the price was good for a 6 quart. He said he and a couple of his friends also bought them. He uses it to make pulled pork for his friends.

When ds1 and gf signed for their first apartment in April this first thing they bought was a crock pot.