Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Funny story coming your way...

Background: DS used to LOVE all things Disney. Now he isn't a big fan (I think I wore him out! LOL) He still loves TOT, Pirates, Screamin, Etc. The big rides. And of course DCL! But not really any of the movies anymore.

So I talked with him yest and it was 10:20 AM. He told me he was just waking up!!! He is an EARLY riser. I was shocked!!!! I told him it was so unusual. He told me he was up till 3:00 AM!!! (Very unusual for my early riser) So I asked him what he was doing till 3am...

Well... turns out Homecoming is Disney related themed and the sorority/fraternity match ups had to decorate their house with the theme from the chosen movie. DS's is "the Princess and the Frog". He had never seen the movie so he stayed up to watch it with a girl!!!! I of course thought that was super funny that Disney has spilled into his college life!

For the house decoration contest, DS was dressed as the "shadow man" and everyone else was dressed as if they were celebrating Mardi Gras. And he thought it was pretty cool being the shadow man!!!!

I am just sitting here snickering, and grinning that Disney is part of the homecoming.... Ahhh, life is sweet!

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

Believe me, if I had the extra money to give right now, I would. We are going to CA in December (we are paying his way), plus we just dropped $1000 into my van in the past two weeks so money has been really tight here. I am glad he considered going- but he needed to be realistic about money and school work. He hasn't told me much about a couple of his classes, which makes me wonder if he is not doing too well in them. I have heard the good stuff- but I don't know if I've heard the bad stuff. You know what I mean?!

Yes I do know what you mean! As with the concert my son wanted to go to. We had to make sure he wasn't expecting things to be as they were in the past and had to remind him, the money tree isn't growing anymore that we pay for it all. Now he has to make adult decisions and since he doesn't have a job.......

My DS is very respectful of anytime I say no. I'm grateful for that.
I like someone elses analogy about the dimmer switch. It's true we want to shut things off but we do need to do that slowly in fairness to them as well as ourselves. And by making them think about the decision and give them some power to feel it...... They do make mature decisions. I guess that is because we stop treating them like babies and do it all for them.

They forgot to put instructions in the manual about this time of our/their lives when they released us from the hospital them some 18-19 years ago. hmmm
What's up with that?

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

Funny story coming your way...

Background: DS used to LOVE all things Disney. Now he isn't a big fan (I think I wore him out! LOL) He still loves TOT, Pirates, Screamin, Etc. The big rides. And of course DCL! But not really any of the movies anymore.

So I talked with him yest and it was 10:20 AM. He told me he was just waking up!!! He is an EARLY riser. I was shocked!!!! I told him it was so unusual. He told me he was up till 3:00 AM!!! (Very unusual for my early riser) So I asked him what he was doing till 3am...

Well... turns out Homecoming is Disney related themed and the sorority/fraternity match ups had to decorate their house with the theme from the chosen movie. DS's is "the Princess and the Frog". He had never seen the movie so he stayed up to watch it with a girl!!!! I of course thought that was super funny that Disney has spilled into his college life!

For the house decoration contest, DS was dressed as the "shadow man" and everyone else was dressed as if they were celebrating Mardi Gras. And he thought it was pretty cool being the shadow man!!!!

I am just sitting here snickering, and grinning that Disney is part of the homecoming.... Ahhh, life is sweet!

 

[luvavacation]

My little girl is home for 3 nights! She arrived yesterday, was knocked all over by our happy dogs (they normally aren't allowed to jump all over, but if my DD doesn't enforce it, well she will have to accept dog slobber on her face!), and had a very happy cat glued to her side all evening. I don't believe her cat left her side all night, because it is still laying next to her this morning!

DD put in her meal order before she came home - she wanted ham, mashed potatoes, and Brussel sprouts, with some white chocolate Macadamia nut cookies for dessert. And for Saturday, can I maybe make some stuffed cabbage? Oy!

At least I know that, no matter how independent my children will become in life, my cooking will always bring them back home! As a little girl, when I would visit my Grandmother in Hungary, she would be slaving over the stove, mumbling about the ungrateful people she cooks for that don't appreciate all she does. Later, when everyone arrived, while standing around them as they ate with gusto, she would have a HUGE smile on her face, as if watching people ask for seconds and thirds was the greatest gift ever. Until I started cooking for others, I never understood why she would actually be happy to go through all that trouble, but now I realize for all her outward mumbling, she actually loved knowing that her cooking brought the family together.

Sure, we all have our own ways of what feels right when it comes to letting our kids go. For some, cutting the cord immediately is the way to go, for others, a gradual stretching works better. But in the end, we all want our children to thrive and have their own successful lives, but still know that home is where the parents are, and you are always welcome at home. For my family in particular (and it may just because of my culture) if you have done your job right, there never is a break. You always go to your elders for advice, you always go visit, you always connect in some way. While miles may separate, the ties of family always stay connected.

And when I become a little old lady, I hope I too will stand in my kitchen, mumbling about the ungrateful hoard coming to my home for a meal, but with the truth that there is no better feeling than your family wanting to be around you (though I will make the younger ones do the dishes!).

Midterms should be in soon! The true test of what my daughter has been doing with her time at college. And, it means she is 1/4 done with the school year! Yippee!

Does anyone here know anything about CRU? I have been recommending to my youngest that she join some sort of spiritual organization while at college. Her older sister joined Wesley (we belong to the Methodist church) on her campus, and having the people in that group be there for her the first two years was a great help in acclimating to college life without going off the deep end (even moving into Christian housing Sophomore year). She has been telling her little sister that having a spiritual connection when she was down, especially Freshman year, was very important, and she has also been trying to get youngest DD to go to Wesley. After all, it is right behind her dorm, how easy is that?

Well, DD, being my stubborn, "I can do this on my own" girl, somehow feels that going to a spiritual group means she isn't strong enough to go through college on her own. Also, she has always been the one that hated the "sharing time" part of mission trips in High School (liked helping, not sharing feelings). Her faith is very private, yet by her own admittance, she has felt no connection to God in a long time, and it saddens me, for my life would be so empty if I felt I was doing this "all by myself", that I truly am alone.

Lo and behold, God works in mysterious ways.

My DD has become friends with 2 girls on her floor that attend a program called CRU. They have encouraged DD to go with them, and this past week, she went. She LOVED it!

I am still not sure what happened there, but she said she suddenly understood why I had wanted her to find a spiritual connection, and she was in tears telling me how she felt a connection to God again. She said that night was the first night at college that she was truly happy and content.

DD did say that one of the things she worried about most was that she did not want to be around a lot of conservative thinkers. We love the church we go to because it is very liberal, and my children were raised to question as a means of strengthening their faith, never just accept what is said on the pulpit because "the pastor said so". But then our pastor never tells us who to vote for, what to think on issues (i.e. abortion), etc. DD would not fit in well with a conservative group, that's for sure!

So DD really likes CRU, and on the plus side, she also has asked if we could all go to church together this Sunday before she heads back to school. We haven't been when she is home, because she hasn't wanted to, so this is certainly different.

CRU seems to be a wonderful group of people, at least from what DD says, but I know nothing about them. Does anyone have any knowledge of this group? Anyone's son or daughter belong? Up until this week, I had never heard of it, and what I find online doesn't give me a real feel for what this program is all about. As long as it isn't a cult and not affiliated with Scientology, I am happy!

And now I am off to the grocery store to buy the fixings for stuffed cabbage. Tomorrow I shall be slaving in the kitchen for hours. Couldn't be happier!

 

[luvavacation]

Forgot to add - PrincessVija, great story! But my, how you have failed as a mother, never making your son watch "Princess and the Frog". You need to go back to Disney and apologize to Tiana. I believe that is fitting punishment.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I am mostly a lurker as my ds is currently a sophomore in high school -- but I wanted to post that you might know CRU as "Campus Crusade for Christ". That is what it was called back in the Stone Age when I was a college student. I am a United Methodist and did not find anything objectionable...

But wait! I just went to their website to check it out and this is definitely at odds with our beliefs...

15.At physical death the unbeliever enters immediately into eternal, conscious separation from the Lord and awaits the resurrection of his body to everlasting judgment and condemnation.

You might want to take a look at their Statement of Faith. I belong to a liberal congregation and there are other statements which we would not accept as well...

Maria

 

[mom2rtk]

I was wondering how the drive was. Did he open up to you on Monday, or was he sleeping and quiet? I know what you mean about everyone else getting a "piece of him". DS is planning on coming home in a week and he is lining up his plans with his friends. I asked that he get that figured out because we do want to spend time with him too. I am supposed to work late on the Friday that we pick him up, and I already told DH that I am trying to get earlier hours, because I WILL be in the car when you go get him. I'm not missing that car ride home!

Thanks for asking. It wasn't that great really. He had been up late the night before, so slept part of the way and did homework part of the way. Mostly it was pretty subdued because 1) it was so early and 2) we were heading back and saying goodbye again.

Note to self........ make sure I get to do the trip home for the weekend next time. My husband clearly got the better end of that deal.

Funny story coming your way...

Background: DS used to LOVE all things Disney. Now he isn't a big fan (I think I wore him out! LOL) He still loves TOT, Pirates, Screamin, Etc. The big rides. And of course DCL! But not really any of the movies anymore.

So I talked with him yest and it was 10:20 AM. He told me he was just waking up!!! He is an EARLY riser. I was shocked!!!! I told him it was so unusual. He told me he was up till 3:00 AM!!! (Very unusual for my early riser) So I asked him what he was doing till 3am...

Well... turns out Homecoming is Disney related themed and the sorority/fraternity match ups had to decorate their house with the theme from the chosen movie. DS's is "the Princess and the Frog". He had never seen the movie so he stayed up to watch it with a girl!!!! I of course thought that was super funny that Disney has spilled into his college life!

For the house decoration contest, DS was dressed as the "shadow man" and everyone else was dressed as if they were celebrating Mardi Gras. And he thought it was pretty cool being the shadow man!!!!

I am just sitting here snickering, and grinning that Disney is part of the homecoming.... Ahhh, life is sweet!

What an awesome story! The day a girl gets my son to watch "Princess and the Frog" I'll be watching the skies for flying pigs!

 

[DVCLiz]

Actually, I'm in total agreement with the dimmer switch philosophy, not the cut them off at 18 philosophy. I was just surprised that by freshman year in college the lights hadn't started dimming during the last couple of years of high school . And why would you send a kid away to college with a car that had mileage restrictions without spelling them out clearly first?

I was just relating my experience having raised my first daughter to adulthood and being on my second college student. If you take these opportunities to let your student figure things out on their own you and they will be better off for it in the long run. That's really all I was saying. If you need to stay involved in all of these decisions for your own comfort then by all means continue until you feel like loosening the apron strings. I was just saying these are good opportunities for you as the parent to practice letting go.

 

[minniebeth]

lurkernj, I'm so glad your DS found his suitcase! What a relief and blessing. My nephew, who is a senior in college, went on a trip a few weeks ago and left his laptop in the airport~ he wasn't as lucky. I felt so bad for him!
A hard lesson to learn, but hey, we all make mistakes...

Princess Vija, I love the term "emerging adult", but I can't take credit for it, DS' college inundated us with the term during orientation.
...and I agree with luvavacation that your punishment for not having your DS ever see The Princess and the Frog should be to go apologize to Tiana!! Better yet, we should ALL go with you and make sure you do it! lol

luvavacation, I love that your dogs and cat were stuck like glue to your DD, that melted my heart ~ I'm sure it made her feel special too. We have no pets, but my DS has his little sister literally stuck to him! He laughed and said it was like having a talking dog (he means it in the most affectionate way!). She misses him soo much~
Also, I love the sweet story about your grandmother and how food is a part of nurturing. It is the same way in our family, so I totally get it and will be that grandmother someday. (A little bit like that now...I've cooked up a storm since DS has been home for Fall Break and DD16 is definitely making it known I haven't cooked that way since he's been gone, lol...)

DS has been home for Fall Break since Wednesday night and will go back Sunday afternoon. It's been AWESOME having him home! I'm so happy
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!

 

[minniebeth]

Actually, I'm in total agreement with the dimmer switch philosophy, not the cut them off at 18 philosophy. I was just surprised that by freshman year in college the lights hadn't started dimming during the last couple of years of high school . And why would you send a kid away to college with a car that had mileage restrictions without spelling them out clearly first?

I was just relating my experience having raised my first daughter to adulthood and being on my second college student. If you take these opportunities to let your student figure things out on their own you and they will be better off for it in the long run. That's really all I was saying. If you need to stay involved in all of these decisions for your own comfort then by all means continue until you feel like loosening the apron strings. I was just saying these are good opportunities for you as the parent to practice letting go.

Your words of wisdom are appreciated, DVCLiz!
I can only speak for myself when I say that having a first time college student, it's all unchartered territory. That's why I love reading this thread to read about other's experiences and to try to find that balance of dealing with our kids growing up. Hopefully, in two years when my DD goes to college, I'll have it down, as she's not as easy going as my DS.

 

[LisaR]

Actually, I'm in total agreement with the dimmer switch philosophy, not the cut them off at 18 philosophy. I was just surprised that by freshman year in college the lights hadn't started dimming during the last couple of years of high school . And why would you send a kid away to college with a car that had mileage restrictions without spelling them out clearly first?

I was just relating my experience having raised my first daughter to adulthood and being on my second college student. If you take these opportunities to let your student figure things out on their own you and they will be better off for it in the long run. That's really all I was saying. If you need to stay involved in all of these decisions for your own comfort then by all means continue until you feel like loosening the apron strings. I was just saying these are good opportunities for you as the parent to practice letting go.

When she left for school, she was well aware of the mileage restriction which is why she asked about going in the first place. Seems like the responsible thing to do.

I could say a lot about this, but this thread has been a great source of comfort to many so I don't want to turn it into a debate over parenting styles. I will say this, DD is turning into a fantastic, well adjusted adult and I am not even slightly worried about her decision making process.

 

[mom2rtk]

Actually, I'm in total agreement with the dimmer switch philosophy, not the cut them off at 18 philosophy. I was just surprised that by freshman year in college the lights hadn't started dimming during the last couple of years of high school . And why would you send a kid away to college with a car that had mileage restrictions without spelling them out clearly first?

I was just relating my experience having raised my first daughter to adulthood and being on my second college student. If you take these opportunities to let your student figure things out on their own you and they will be better off for it in the long run. That's really all I was saying. If you need to stay involved in all of these decisions for your own comfort then by all means continue until you feel like loosening the apron strings. I was just saying these are good opportunities for you as the parent to practice letting go.

Then maybe it would help for you to go post in the "class of 2015" thread so they can start turning down their dimmer switches. If any of us didn't get started 2 years ago as you suggest, what did you hope to accomplish by posting the suggestion now?

I don't see a single poster hovering and controlling in an unreasonable overbearing fashion. The truth is that the ones who can't cut the apron strings probably didn't pack up their kids and take them off to school at all like the posters here di, but encouraged their kids to stay closer to home.

Kudos to everyone working through this big change in life, encouraging your kids to spread their wings. Even if it means they ask our opinion from time to time.

 

[marcyinPA]

Well, it has been an interesting and stressful 24 hours.

My DS called yesterday because he was trying to make a payment with his debit card to the university to replace his lost ID card headache. The payment came back rejected. He then tried to do an eCheck, which went through. So he went on his online banking to see if the eCheck went through, when he noticed that his checking account had a zero balance, and there were 4 charges to the USPS.com listed. His debit card had been hacked!!

I called the credit union, and indeed, the four charges were there, plus five more pending, all made on Wednesday, and totaling over $200. They wiped out his checking and overdraft protection kicked in, along with $15 in fees.

They immediately canceled his card, and instructed me that my DS had to call the USPS. He was a MESS. He called the number, but couldn't get through to a human. The whole time, he is outside in the rain because no cell phones get service in the dorm due to concrete block walls. And his landline is incoming only (outgoing only on campus).

I called USPS for him then, spoke to a person, and she was a real gem. (that is not complimentary). Anyway, she instructed me to call the credit union to file dispute paperwork.

I went into the CU today, and they wouldn't let me file the paperwork on his behalf because although my name is on his accounts, it is not on his debit card. I have the paperwork and will drive it down to him on Tuesday for him to sign it.

In the meantime, he had no money, and was going to spend the weekend with his girlfriend this weekend at her college. The CU on campus (not ours) would not cash a check for him. Luckily, there is a branch of our CU not far from campus so his friend was able to stop there for him to withdraw money before they left today.

He was SO upset when he discovered he had been hacked. This is not something I could prepare him for, or at least I never thought to. It has happened to DH and I with our Visa card before, and I know how violating it feels.

I'm telling you, this kid has been having an "education" this semester!!

 

[marcyinPA]

My little girl is home for 3 nights! She arrived yesterday, was knocked all over by our happy dogs (they normally aren't allowed to jump all over, but if my DD doesn't enforce it, well she will have to accept dog slobber on her face!), and had a very happy cat glued to her side all evening. I don't believe her cat left her side all night, because it is still laying next to her this morning!

DD put in her meal order before she came home - she wanted ham, mashed potatoes, and Brussel sprouts, with some white chocolate Macadamia nut cookies for dessert. And for Saturday, can I maybe make some stuffed cabbage? Oy!

At least I know that, no matter how independent my children will become in life, my cooking will always bring them back home! As a little girl, when I would visit my Grandmother in Hungary, she would be slaving over the stove, mumbling about the ungrateful people she cooks for that don't appreciate all she does. Later, when everyone arrived, while standing around them as they ate with gusto, she would have a HUGE smile on her face, as if watching people ask for seconds and thirds was the greatest gift ever. Until I started cooking for others, I never understood why she would actually be happy to go through all that trouble, but now I realize for all her outward mumbling, she actually loved knowing that her cooking brought the family together.

Sure, we all have our own ways of what feels right when it comes to letting our kids go. For some, cutting the cord immediately is the way to go, for others, a gradual stretching works better. But in the end, we all want our children to thrive and have their own successful lives, but still know that home is where the parents are, and you are always welcome at home. For my family in particular (and it may just because of my culture) if you have done your job right, there never is a break. You always go to your elders for advice, you always go visit, you always connect in some way. While miles may separate, the ties of family always stay connected.

And when I become a little old lady, I hope I too will stand in my kitchen, mumbling about the ungrateful hoard coming to my home for a meal, but with the truth that there is no better feeling than your family wanting to be around you (though I will make the younger ones do the dishes!).

Midterms should be in soon! The true test of what my daughter has been doing with her time at college. And, it means she is 1/4 done with the school year! Yippee!

Does anyone here know anything about CRU? I have been recommending to my youngest that she join some sort of spiritual organization while at college. Her older sister joined Wesley (we belong to the Methodist church) on her campus, and having the people in that group be there for her the first two years was a great help in acclimating to college life without going off the deep end (even moving into Christian housing Sophomore year). She has been telling her little sister that having a spiritual connection when she was down, especially Freshman year, was very important, and she has also been trying to get youngest DD to go to Wesley. After all, it is right behind her dorm, how easy is that?

Well, DD, being my stubborn, "I can do this on my own" girl, somehow feels that going to a spiritual group means she isn't strong enough to go through college on her own. Also, she has always been the one that hated the "sharing time" part of mission trips in High School (liked helping, not sharing feelings). Her faith is very private, yet by her own admittance, she has felt no connection to God in a long time, and it saddens me, for my life would be so empty if I felt I was doing this "all by myself", that I truly am alone.

Lo and behold, God works in mysterious ways.

My DD has become friends with 2 girls on her floor that attend a program called CRU. They have encouraged DD to go with them, and this past week, she went. She LOVED it!

I am still not sure what happened there, but she said she suddenly understood why I had wanted her to find a spiritual connection, and she was in tears telling me how she felt a connection to God again. She said that night was the first night at college that she was truly happy and content.

DD did say that one of the things she worried about most was that she did not want to be around a lot of conservative thinkers. We love the church we go to because it is very liberal, and my children were raised to question as a means of strengthening their faith, never just accept what is said on the pulpit because "the pastor said so". But then our pastor never tells us who to vote for, what to think on issues (i.e. abortion), etc. DD would not fit in well with a conservative group, that's for sure!

So DD really likes CRU, and on the plus side, she also has asked if we could all go to church together this Sunday before she heads back to school. We haven't been when she is home, because she hasn't wanted to, so this is certainly different.

CRU seems to be a wonderful group of people, at least from what DD says, but I know nothing about them. Does anyone have any knowledge of this group? Anyone's son or daughter belong? Up until this week, I had never heard of it, and what I find online doesn't give me a real feel for what this program is all about. As long as it isn't a cult and not affiliated with Scientology, I am happy!

And now I am off to the grocery store to buy the fixings for stuffed cabbage. Tomorrow I shall be slaving in the kitchen for hours. Couldn't be happier!

A couple of kids from my church (Presbyterian) went to CRU at PSU last year (as freshmen). I don't know if they stayed with CRU or not- but PSU has several Christian Fellowship Groups and I have a feeling that they "shopped around" this year.

Apparently there is CRU at my DS's college, but he opted to be a part of the the college Christian Fellowship group, which is administered by an organization called DiscipleMakers.

On the whole, he likes it alot and it is Biblically based. They do tend to be more conservative than we are (and I think we are pretty conservative!) but my DS is very comfortable in with keeping his own beliefs while being part of the group. For example, many of the guys who go to this group also go to a PCA church. My DS went with them once. Super conservative- they don't believe in women serving in leadership roles. My DS does not agree with that at all, but has no problem telling them so either. He enjoys the community of believers, but he doesn't feel that he has to buy into every single thing they do.

It sounds like your daughter likes this group and as long as it is within your beliefs, I think she should be fine!!

 

[mom2rtk]

Well, it has been an interesting and stressful 24 hours.

My DS called yesterday because he was trying to make a payment with his debit card to the university to replace his lost ID card headache. The payment came back rejected. He then tried to do an eCheck, which went through. So he went on his online banking to see if the eCheck went through, when he noticed that his checking account had a zero balance, and there were 4 charges to the USPS.com listed. His debit card had been hacked!!

I called the credit union, and indeed, the four charges were there, plus five more pending, all made on Wednesday, and totaling over $200. They wiped out his checking and overdraft protection kicked in, along with $15 in fees.

They immediately canceled his card, and instructed me that my DS had to call the USPS. He was a MESS. He called the number, but couldn't get through to a human. The whole time, he is outside in the rain because no cell phones get service in the dorm due to concrete block walls. And his landline is incoming only (outgoing only on campus).

I called USPS for him then, spoke to a person, and she was a real gem. (that is not complimentary). Anyway, she instructed me to call the credit union to file dispute paperwork.

I went into the CU today, and they wouldn't let me file the paperwork on his behalf because although my name is on his accounts, it is not on his debit card. I have the paperwork and will drive it down to him on Tuesday for him to sign it.

In the meantime, he had no money, and was going to spend the weekend with his girlfriend this weekend at her college. The CU on campus (not ours) would not cash a check for him. Luckily, there is a branch of our CU not far from campus so his friend was able to stop there for him to withdraw money before they left today.

He was SO upset when he discovered he had been hacked. This is not something I could prepare him for, or at least I never thought to. It has happened to DH and I with our Visa card before, and I know how violating it feels.

I'm telling you, this kid has been having an "education" this semester!!

Oh no Marcy! What an awful lesson to get so soon after getting out on his own. That's awful!

Tell him to take some breaths..... and embrace his own inner Dory..... and just keep swimming. This too shall pass.

Seriously though..... someone hacked his card....... and used it at the post office?

But then I had the world's worst credit card thief a few years ago. I drove off from the Burger King drive through without my card. When I called the next day after figuring out where it was, they had it for me in the manager's office. But I'm glad I had checked my account online. It had been on a spin around town, stopping at a Sonic, another Burger King and a grocery store for M & M's and whipped topping. Really? They could have done so much better. I got the surveillance tape from the grocery store and it was one of the employees at the first BK. Nice, huh?

 

[marcyinPA]

Oh no Marcy! What an awful lesson to get so soon after getting out on his own. That's awful!

Tell him to take some breaths..... and embrace his own inner Dory..... and just keep swimming. This too shall pass.

Seriously though..... someone hacked his card....... and used it at the post office?

But then I had the world's worst credit card thief a few years ago. I drove off from the Burger King drive through without my card. When I called the next day after figuring out where it was, they had it for me in the manager's office. But I'm glad I had checked my account online. It had been on a spin around town, stopping at a Sonic, another Burger King and a grocery store for M & M's and whipped topping. Really? They could have done so much better. I got the surveillance tape from the grocery store and it was one of the employees at the first BK. Nice, huh?

The post office! I know, right? And the charges were so random. All in one day, but for amounts like $32.16 and $8.41 and stuff like that. Crazy. It makes you wonder what they heck they were buying?!

I have to admit that I laughed out loud at M&M's and whipped topping! Sounds kind of - kinky- ?!

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

I missed something somewhere as I have gone back and read quite a few posts over and over and not sure where a negative vibe started. I hope I'm not sensing something that isn't there because my sensory is usually right on and I can't afford it to start not working right.

In short we all do what we have to do to help our kids get where they need to be. I'm shocked at how my son naturally yet respectfully has been becoming more independent of us. Infact this weekend being a 4 day weekend I wasn't expecting to see him. He let me know a few days ago he feels he "should" come home at least one day. I talked with him today and said "Honey, it's up to you. You are a young adult and if you had an apartment I would hope you would not write us off but I also know you are forming your own life. If you decide not to come home this weekend, I'm ok with that. As long as you are being safe and enjoying friendships."

To which he said "Mom it's not that I think you will be mad it's just that if I don't come home I don't want to regret not taking the time to see you all."
gulp. I guess that's his way of saying he misses us. But I also have drilled into young people's heads (or at least tried when given the chance) that we never know when the special people in our lives will be gone. Take the moments when they come to be with them. So I guess he is feeling that.

So anyway, the plan at the moment is he will come home on Saturday and go back Sunday later in the day. I'm happy I'll get to see him even if it's short.

Oh and I am in full agreement, I'm not sure I trust Princess Vija will apologize if we don't all go with her.
Can't wait to plan that vacation with all of you.

Hope you all are having a magical day and that your weekend has some pixiedust for you. Maybe some time with your babies!

 

[marcyinPA]

To which he said "Mom it's not that I think you will be mad it's just that if I don't come home I don't want to regret not taking the time to see you all."

This made me tear up. Yup. I need a tissue!! That is so sweet!!!!

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm glad a lot of your kids are getting fall break and will get to enjoy some time with family again!

I'm sad to say my DS has no fall break at all, so that's why we gave him a chance to get home last weekend. And we'll probably go visit him in a few weeks. I know when I went away to school, I didn't see anyone from my family again until Thanksgiving, and that was really hard.

My son's roommate is going home this weekend, so it will probably be a long weekend for him. I think he and the roomie are really good for each other and he will likely miss having him there.

The post office! I know, right? And the charges were so random. All in one day, but for amounts like $32.16 and $8.41 and stuff like that. Crazy. It makes you wonder what they heck they were buying?!

I have to admit that I laughed out loud at M&M's and whipped topping! Sounds kind of - kinky- ?!

I figured they were trying to just make small charges they figured would fly under the radar and not stand out. But yeah..... I was wondering what they were up to with the M & M's and whipped topping too!

 

[StacyMarie]

So, I haven't been back since posting about being sad that DD was leaving. Things were going really, really good for her. She will occasionally have times when she just wants to come home and go to community college and then she will change her mind. Last night, I got a call at 1 a.m. She wants to come home after the semester is over. When I spoke to her this morning, she is still feeling the same way I'm not sure what to do at this point, lol. I was sad when she left and now I'm sad that she wants to come home. We live in a town that has nothing to offer it's youth - NOTHING! I got sucked in at her age and never left. I would hate for her to come home and get sucked in too. I'm torn right now. I know I can't force her to stay but part of me was relieved when she left because I saw it as a way out of this place. Any advice will be most welcome!!!!