Have You Ever Had a Long Distance Relationship & How Did it Work Out?

[helenabear]

I was originally from Ohio and my, then, b/f was from N. Virginia. We both went to a college in Ohio. He would go home for breaks and we weren't ever able to see each other and could only rely on phone (this was before IM and all that was big). Granted it wasn't ever more than several months on end, but it still was apart. It worked for us, and we eventually married. Honestly though, if there were no way you can forsee yourselves getting in the same location, I don't think I could continue that one. JMO... and only because they are really rough to do... they take a lot of time, and actually wind up retarding the relationship significantly. Good luck to you though!

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I think you'll know after you've been apart for awhile. It's a feeling you get inside you.

It grows after a while. And sometimes it's not strong enough to last. Other times it gets to be unbearable to be away any longer.

Please let us know what happens after a couple of months!

 

[nwdisgal]

Yes I did. We had a long distance relationship for about a year before we were married. You can tell from the picture in my siggie how it turned out.

 

[LJC1861]

When Lisa and I met ( introduced by a mutual friend ) she was living in Myrtle Beach SC and I was living in NYC. We instantly hit it off and began e-mailing, IM'ing and calling one another on a daily basis. When we could afford it one of us bought a plane ticket and spent a few days with the other. We also met a few times in WDW. A year later she moved up to NYC to be with me. 5 years later we are still together and will be as long as we are both on this earth. I knew instantly that she was my "happily ever after."

Linda

 

[Syrreal]

I think that I just may be the queen of long distance relationships.

My longest one was for 6 years. I lived in Florida, he lived in Brazil. We only saw each other for at the most 4 months out of the year. My advice is that you have to be confident in your relationship. You can't be jealous or it will eat you up every minute or every day. Luckily, neither he nor I were the jealous type. I was never naive enough to think that he didn't see other people while I was gone and vice versa but when we were together there was no one else. (Now this is a much different circumstance than yours. You can talk to each other- especially with the free long distance on cell phones and stuff- we only had letters.) It was a wonderful time in my life. I eventually met my now-DH during a time when I couldn't leave the country (I was getting my citizenship and wasn't able to leave the country for almost 3 years while it went through) and broke things off with the Dbf (Broke up with him about 1.5 yrs since the last time I had seen him). We're still really great friends and hang out every time I go to Brazil.

Now, when DH and I first started dating we were also a LD relationship- we were dating for three weeks before I moved to Orlando to do the CP. We travelled back and forth a lot and were always on the phone and the internet. Again, trust was the key element in the relationship...without it you really have nothing

 

[grlpwrd]

I have lived apart from my dh starting in 1987 while we were dating. We met in 1986 in college in Seattle and then I returned home to Hawaii fror summers and vacations, and we had a LD relationship even back then.

He ended up moving to Hawaii with me and we lived together for a year, I went back to school in Seattle, we got married in 1991, and we're back to a long distance relationship now. I think you know he has worked in Bethpage last year and now he's in Baltimore while the kids and I stayed back here in Virginia. It's his career that takes him away, but we agreed on this lifestyle and it works for us.

It's not so bad, but we make it work and we trust each other. He works Monday to Thursday and then he's here Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. We do more together than some folks who live together everyday, though. lol

GL and best wishes to you!

 

[Dee & Greg]

DH and I had only been dating less than a year when he got a terrific job opportunity 3 hours away, but he travelled extensively Monday-Friday for over 3 years. We saw each other most weekends, and I stayed quite busy with a job, friends, etc.
Decided to get married after his travelling stopped. Was a little scary to think about living with someone 24/7 after just weekends. I figured we would either be really glad to be together, or that it just wouldn't work. I went with my gut... Wedding Day was 16 blissful years ago and it was the best and easiest call of my life.

 

[smilie]

DH and I had a long distance relationship. When we started dating I lived in MD and he lived in SC. It was hard for awhile but I knew he was worth it. After about 4 months of long distance I decided to move to SC. The travel did get to us after awhile, but we loved each other so we stuck it out.

 

[jbdreamer]

Long distance relationships are very lonely. Fortunately mine worked out, but I don't recommend it.

My husband and I met while on the WDW College Program. When it ended, I went home to Minnesota and he went home to Washington. We took turns flying out to see each other once a month for long weekends. We bought cell phones together so we would have free long distance and unlimited minutes between our phones. We'd talk at least 1 hour a day.

It really helped knowing the next time we'd see each other because then we had something to look forward too. It was much harder when we didn't have a set date. We had also made a plan that when he was done with school, he'd move out to Minnesota. I honestly don't think we would have made it if we didn't have "a plan" of where the relationship was headed and when we would finaly be together.

 

[summerrluvv]

Thanks for all the replies I'll let ya'll know how it works out (which will hopefully be well)

 

[RadioNate]

Long distance relationships are very lonely. Fortunately mine worked out, but I don't recommend it.

My husband and I met while on the WDW College Program. When it ended, I went home to Minnesota and he went home to Washington. We took turns flying out to see each other once a month for long weekends. We bought cell phones together so we would have free long distance and unlimited minutes between our phones. We'd talk at least 1 hour a day.

It really helped knowing the next time we'd see each other because then we had something to look forward too. It was much harder when we didn't have a set date. We had also made a plan that when he was done with school, he'd move out to Minnesota. I honestly don't think we would have made it if we didn't have "a plan" of where the relationship was headed and when we would finaly be together.

My story is pretty much identical just subsititute Chicago for Minnesota and Oregon for Washington. I was also the one to move when I finished school because he finished before me and had a really great job in Oregon.

 

[Tiffann4k]

Didnt work out for me either...even though it wasnt that much of a long distance ( 2 hours) we seen each other about every weekend....but long story short, he cheated on me, but the bright side is I got a beautiful 9 year old daughter out of it

Good Luck

 

[liamsaunt]

My DH and I had a long-distance relationship for part of our courtship. We dated for one year here in MA, then he enrolled in law school in CT. We were very committed to each other and knew we wanted to be married when the time was right, so we purchased a car together that he used to come back to MA every weekend except for finals periods. Luckily, our families lived only 20 minutes apart! That lasted for three years. After he graduated, he went to NYC for one year to get his LLM. For that year, I kept the car and he took the bus back to see me when he could afford it--which was only a few times each semester. We kept in touch with letters and phone calls (I did not have a computer then!). It was hard but we knew the payoff would be worth it, and would give us a strong financial foundation for our marriage. He graduated in May, and we were married June 1st of that year. We've been married for eight years.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

DH and I dated for 9 months, and then his dad got transferred to NJ (we are in Ohio) just as I started college. He was in NJ from September to the end of March. I visited him for 10 days at Christmas break and a week for spring break--then he came here for a week and decided to move in with some friends and move back home. Then I lived in the dorm for another year, but I went home every weekend (20 min). I commuted the last two years.
The worst thing was that a mutual "friend" (who wanted him for herself I later discovered) told him that when he moved away she was going to take me out at college, get me drunk and "throw guys" at me. So he left a little paranoid, and so I was a very, very good girl. I think I only went out drinking once that year (18 was legal then, folks).
Not only was maintaining the relationship difficult--I wrote him at least every other day and sent tons of cards; I had to sell a meal coupon book to pay my phone bill--but there is so much pressure, esp. in college, to give it up and just go out and go crazy. I remember at frosh orientation they had a "psychic" answering audience questions and one girl asked about her HS boyfriend, and this guy recommended that we all cut all our commitments and just enjoy the college experience! Stuff like that made us work even harder to keep our relationship going. But I can tell you that DH is the most honest person I've ever met, and I never had any doubt that he would be loyal to me--that would have put the kibosh on it right there.
We ended up dating a total of 5 1/2 years and have been married 19 1/2 years, 20 in June.
Robin M.

 

[missypie]

Prior to our marriage, DH and I dated long distrance (Dallas/Pittsburgh) for 16 months. It was expensive. With cell phones with unlimited nights and weekends, it would cost less now.

We spent so much time on the phone that to this day (16 years later) I think we communicate better on the phone than we do in person.

 

[summerrluvv]

Prior to our marriage, DH and I dated long distrance (Dallas/Pittsburgh) for 16 months. It was expensive. With cell phones with unlimited nights and weekends, it would cost less now.

We spent so much time on the phone that to this day (16 years later) I think we communicate better on the phone than we do in person.

I have VoIP through Vonage, so I'm not concerned about phone bills since I pay a flat rate of $24.95 a month for all local and long distance

 

[epcotfan]

If you have a history prior to the long distance thing, it may work but be prepared for a lot of frustration that the seperation can cause. You also might want to set a timeline for yourself to see if it is worth the continued effort or not.