Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[MaryAnnDVC]

Gratuity for bar and wait staff is included in the cost of the reception for every wedding I have been to.

How do you know that? Just curious, because I don't ever remember knowing how/what is included in someone else's wedding.

 

[Chicago526]

I've never been to a wedding that didn't have free soft drinks, but I've been to a few company functions where nothing was free except water. My current company used to do that for it's summer party but even they, as cheap as they are, stopped doing that a few years ago. Now all soft drinks are included, you're only charged for alcohol (which for a company function is just fine with me).

 

[PatsGirl]

I worked many functions/parties in the 80s and 90s and while the waitstaff were compensated a certain amount pp (usually no MORE than 10% ) bartenders worked on a tipped basis. I've always tipped well at the bar and from cocktail waitresses and have been known to leave a ten on a table as well if I really liked the waitress. Most of us working functions did so only because it was a part of the job, not because the $$ was good. Also, for the most part, people at weddings/functions are in good moods which makes the job that much easier

 

[ShesAPirate]

Not sure if it's another regional thing, and correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I understand, waitstaff/bartenders in NY/NJ make good money doing weddings and banquets. At least, that's what my friends who've done it (and still do, part-time) have told me.

For my wedding, an 18% gratuity was added on to the food and bev. total. The bartenders at my wedding wouldn't accept tips from our guests, actually. It was against the rules of the wedding hall... so hopefully, that 18% was going to them...

 

[Mom2Nick]

Gratuity for bar and wait staff is included in the cost of the reception for every wedding I have been to. [/B]

Wedding guests shouldn't have to pay for anything. If a bride and groom cannot afford an open bar then don't have any kind of a bar at all. Do a punch, do a theme drink, just do wine/beer/soda/water or just do water and coffee/tea - but you should serve your guests drinks if you are offering food of any kind.

Do you know what a bartender makes? At most places they are giving so much per shift and wait staff is paid not much also. They count on tips to make the money.
I have never seen anyone not tip a battender or the wait staff for serving them drinks.

But again on the open bar it depends on laws now. In Mass it is very hard to find a place that allows it now.

I never said they should not be tipped - I merely said that in every wedding I have been to the tips are included as part of the cost of the reception for all the venues I have been to.

My wedding reception cost $136 per person. If my gratuity was not included and already paid for as part of the cost of my reception - do you honestly think that every single one of my 202 guests would have thought to pony up $20+ EACH to pay for gratuity for the waitstaff and bartenders or do you think they already know it's included?

 

[ROIE01581]

All the wedding i have attended in my 50 plus years you paid for soda or drinks at the bar. The wedding dinner provided (sometimes) a bottle of wine on the table, and coffee and tea with desert. If you wanted any thing else to drink you paid for it at the bar. Its a dinner. They are paying a lot of money per person for the meal. They are going to provide all the drinks you want for everyone. My daughters wedding was the same way. We added a bottle of sparking cider for the tables for those who had drinking problems.
If everyone had $10,000 for an open bar thats fine. An who wants to be responsible for a guest drinking and driving on their wedding day.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

How do you know that? Just curious, because I don't ever remember knowing how/what is included in someone else's wedding.

I've never heard of a wedding/party venue that doesn't charge it. Even restaurants like Applebees will charge you 18% if you have a party over 6. My uncle got married a couple years ago, and even though they paid for the alcohol and automatic gratuity, when we got there, there were tip jars at all the bar stations. He was furious and asked them to remove them, which they did. So even if you see tip jars, the gratuity has probably already been covered!

**Disclaimer*** All of the above only refers to my experience with the MD/DC/NoVA region.

 

[1PrincessMomma1]

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[MsLeFever]

At my wedding we had many options of how to deal with alcohol because we were at a bed and breakfast. We had a 1/2 keg, champagne toast and then a serve yourself bar! We had maybe 80 guests and to help us with $ my parents bought a bottle of most kinds of liquor and we just arranged them on a tea cart and let folks pour their own - and there were always a couple of guys who wanted to play bartender as well. I don't remember if we had soda - I know we had sweet tea (we were in GA).

One of the most fun weddings I ever went to was for an older couple (with grown children). The wedding invite requested no gifts - if you were coming from out of town you were asked to bring a bottle of wine, if you were local bring a dish to pass. The food was YUMMY and there were lots of wine choices (they also had soda.) The reception was at the bride's home in the backyard on a river. fun!

 

[tiggger1]

I will admit that we had a cash bar. It is the norm here. Our meal came with bottle of wine for the toast, water, tea and coffee..

It really must be a regional thing because of the 20+ weddings that I have been to in MA only 3 ( and they were all related) had open bar and they were only open bar for 1 hour. after that it was a cash bar. ( except coffee, tea and water.)

 

[RitaZ.]

I've never heard of a wedding/party venue that doesn't charge it. Even restaurants like Applebees will charge you 18% if you have a party over 6. My uncle got married a couple years ago, and even though they paid for the alcohol and automatic gratuity, when we got there, there were tip jars at all the bar stations. He was furious and asked them to remove them, which they did. So even if you see tip jars, the gratuity has probably already been covered!

**Disclaimer*** All of the above only refers to my experience with the MD/DC/NoVA region.

We were married 20 yrs. ago in FL and the gratuity was included in the total cost for the reception.

 

[RitaZ.]

I am of the opinion that a wedding reception is a party you happen to be throwing some place other than your home. Since I would never dream of inviting guests to a dinner party at my home and making them pay for a soda (or a beer or glass of wine), I would never dream of making them pay for a Coke at a reception I am hosting. If I can't afford to pay for soda for my guests, then I need to decrease the guest list or something else.

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

I never said they should not be tipped - I merely said that in every wedding I have been to the tips are included as part of the cost of the reception for all the venues I have been to.

My wedding reception cost $136 per person. If my gratuity was not included and already paid for as part of the cost of my reception - do you honestly think that every single one of my 202 guests would have thought to pony up $20+ EACH to pay for gratuity for the waitstaff and bartenders or do you think they already know it's included?

I know my wedding they only took care of the people who served food. The wait staff for drinks and bartenders did not get a piece of that.

I was not say you said not to tip. I just know we have always tipped anyone that waits on us. Just something we do. I know no differant.

 

[2girlsmom]

When we got married 13 1/2 years ago, we did have a cash bar. We served coffee, tea, punch and water (not sure about soda), but my family does not drink at all, so we did not want alcohol. However, my inlaws INSISTED it had to be available to those who wanted it. Hence, cash bar. I am really not sure how many people actually bought a drink, I don't think very many. I don't think it is tacky to have a cash bar for alcohol or soda as long as there are options that are free. When I go to dinner at many friends' houses, they serve water with dinner, if we want a soda, we BRING it!

 

[Mkrop]

Most of the weddings I have attended are in Eastern PA, from Philly up to Scranton, and South Jersey. I have NEVER see a cash bar! Or a nonalcholic reception!

We recently attended a wedding in FL and we werent sure what to expect so DH stopped at an ATM on the way to the reception and he and my DBro got money out just in case since we were not familar with how weddings go in FL. It was an open bar, buffet, and a toast where only the wedding party had champagne, which was fine. This wedding was done on a total budget (I know this bc the bride's family decided at the last minute not to pay for the wedding so many things were changed and the groom's family, my relatives, had to pay for a lot) So even with a tight budget they had an open bar but we were prepared just in case!

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

We went to a wedding two weeks ago. It was a very cheap affair with a buffet dinner and hors d'oeuvres that could be found in your local grocer's freezer section. Even then, there was an open bar. We did not have to pay for any drinks-soda or alcohol. We have never been to any type of wedding reception where we had to pay for soda or the like. Personally, I would be very embarrassed at just the thought of making my guests pay for a soft drink. Like another poster said, I'd have to reevaluate my guest list or nix something else before I made my friends and family pay for a coke.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

LOL- thats how I feel when I hear people say they asked someone to be ther guest book signer watcher or whatever name they are calling it to sound nice. The poor person has to stand next to a guestbook ROFLMA- what a job, more like an insult- you aren't really good enough to be in the wedding party, but here, here's a bone for you, stand next to the guestbook and make sure people write in it LOL!

We had people take turns doing it in pairs, in shifts. It was hilarious some of the things they were doing over there. They built a house of cards with the greeting and gift cards. Then they tried to guess who gave which gift based on the gift wrap (not necessarily by name...more like, older gentleman who can't see well...Martha-Stewart-type lady, college kid, etc.). Everyone had a great time and no one had to sit at the table for more than a half hour...WITH a friend. And lots of champagne, lol!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

LOL- thats how I feel when I hear people say they asked someone to be ther guest book signer watcher or whatever name they are calling it to sound nice. The poor person has to stand next to a guestbook ROFLMA- what a job, more like an insult- you aren't really good enough to be in the wedding party, but here, here's a bone for you, stand next to the guestbook and make sure people write in it LOL!

I had to quote this too. I am glad I am not the only person who doesn't think that guestbook security is a neccesary job much less an honor. What are they supposed to do? Check for bad handwriting and poor spelling?
If someone asked me to do that I would die laughing.

 

[kpm76]

I never said they should not be tipped - I merely said that in every wedding I have been to the tips are included as part of the cost of the reception for all the venues I have been to.

My wedding reception cost $136 per person. If my gratuity was not included and already paid for as part of the cost of my reception - do you honestly think that every single one of my 202 guests would have thought to pony up $20+ EACH to pay for gratuity for the waitstaff and bartenders or do you think they already know it's included?

I don't get how you know that tips for bartenders are included in what the bride and groom paid unless you asked the couple. I would never think that I had to tip my waitress at a wedding but I most certainly tip the bartenders. At our wedding, the gratuity tacked onto the cost of the meal was for servers only. We paid for and tipped the bartenders separately. As a quest, I would never dream of walking away from a bar after getting a drink without leaving a dollar or two..since we all seem to like to use the word "tacky," I will say that that seems tacky to me....

 

[HelenePA]

Most of the weddings I have attended are in Eastern PA, from Philly up to Scranton, and South Jersey. I have NEVER see a cash bar! Or a nonalcholic reception!

I'm from NEPA and I never heard of a Cash Bar til I came on the dis. I'd be one of those people running to an ATM because we NEVER carry cash on us. I could make due with free water but dh couldn't.