Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[Piecey]

To pay for pop is tacky. Around here, it is common to have pop and keg beer be provided, then a cash bar for anything else.

That was hubby and my's plan. We were also debating on doing a frozen drink of some sort, where you buy the machine and people can dispense as they please.
We got married in Vegas in May but my parents are wanting to do a reception now.. they also want us to redo the ceremony there.

They're letting me make most of the calls and I had no idea, before this thread, that cash bars were so tacky. Guess we definitely won't go that route.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

Oh I would have been so ticked we'd have left, probably, since we rarely carry cash on us. Unless there was water available, then we would stay and drink that but be very unhappy about the whole situation. With two adults and some very thirsty kids, we'd have been eaten out of house and home. Guess the money from the wedding gift envelope could have shrunk so we could pay for our bar tab! I think that's horrible.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

At my daughters' weddings the non-alcoholic punch, wine, beer and champagne flowed until the cake was served and then it was coffee and tea as the reception wound down. We're not big drinkers and that's what we felt comfortable doing and could afford.

Pay for soft drinks at a wedding? Why not charge for the meal too? And to offset the cost of a wedding even further maybe the family could have put up a sandwich board outside the reception inviting strangers to come in off the street for a price. There has to be some entertainment value in a wedding and reception. That's got to be worth something.

I'd be more than happy to go to a wedding in someone's backyard and drink lemonade as long as I'm treated like a guest and not a customer. Sometimes I really don't get what people are thinking!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Oh I would have been so ticked we'd have left, probably, since we rarely carry cash on us. Unless there was water available, then we would stay and drink that but be very unhappy about the whole situation. With two adults and some very thirsty kids, we'd have been eaten out of house and home. Guess the money from the wedding gift envelope could have shrunk so we could pay for our bar tab! I think that's horrible.

I went to one wedding where that did indeed happen. It was the only time I have ever been to a cash bar wedding. The guests were less than happy about it. That is not the norm at all here.
As for not having any drinks at all- well that is more than tacky to me. That is rude and just plain ridiculous. When you host an event, as the host you should provide for your guests- not expect them to pay their way.

 

[Ember]

Next there will be a per slice charge for cake...

 

[TomLovesBecky]

At my daughters' weddings the non-alcoholic punch, wine, beer and champagne flowed until the cake was served and then it was coffee and tea as the reception wound down. We're not big drinkers and that's what we felt comfortable doing and could afford.

Pay for soft drinks at a wedding? Why not charge for the meal too? And to offset the cost of a wedding even further maybe the family could have put up a sandwich board outside the reception inviting strangers to come in off the street for a price. There has to be some entertainment value in a wedding and reception. That's got to be worth something.

I'd be more than happy to go to a wedding in someone's backyard and drink lemonade as long as I'm treated like a guest and not a customer. Sometimes I really don't get what people are thinking!

Yes, you hit the nail on the head, I didn't think of it that way until I read this, you make perfect sense! I would rather have sandwiches, chips, and soda at a wedding than be charged money for an elegant meal and drinks. In fact we did go to a very informal wedding last year and it was beautiful, the food was a nice buffet but very simple, inexpensive food (I think maybe $1500 for everything for the whole party). Everyone was full and enjoyed the generous hospitality of the hosts, the couple and their parents. So what if it was pasta and BBQ chicken, we felt welcome and important to them. Paying for drinks does not make me feel welcome, I would rather have no booze at all than have to be put on the spot to pay for it. Then again I've never ever been to a cash bar wedding! Maybe it is a regional thing? I will tell you right now that in the area my husband and I grew up in people would be ASHAMED to have a cash bar, no one there would ever admit even if they couldn't afford it, it's a status thing. They would hock their grandmothers to pay for the liquor and never let on they were hurting for money! (Yes it's a snooty town, lol!)

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Yes, you hit the nail on the head, I didn't think of it that way until I read this, you make perfect sense! I would rather have sandwiches, chips, and soda at a wedding than be charged money for an elegant meal and drinks. In fact we did go to a very informal wedding last year and it was beautiful, the food was a nice buffet but very simple, inexpensive food (I think maybe $1500 for everything for the whole party). Everyone was full and enjoyed the generous hospitality of the hosts, the couple and their parents. So what if it was pasta and BBQ chicken, we felt welcome and important to them. Paying for drinks does not make me feel welcome, I would rather have no booze at all than have to be put on the spot to pay for it. Then again I've never ever been to a cash bar wedding! Maybe it is a regional thing? I will tell you right now that in the area my husband and I grew up in people would be ASHAMED to have a cash bar, no one there would ever admit even if they couldn't afford it, it's a status thing. They would hock their grandmothers to pay for the liquor and never let on they were hurting for money! (Yes it's a snooty town, lol!)

This is a great post and so very true.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Nope.

Picked up DS from a kiddie birthday party and was told what my share of the event came to, though. Nothing on the invites, nothing when dropping off, but when we picked up, we were all told what we owed.

That is extremely tacky!

Back in the olden days when I was married (1982) we were on a very tight budget being college students, paying for most of the wedding ourselves (yeah, we were too poor to be getting married, but believe that we were extremely grown up ). We made all the food ourselves, had the reception at my parent's house, which was not a big house. The wedding had been outside at a beautiful state park and thankfully it was a gorgeous day since we really didn't have a contingency plan. We didn't serve any alcohol since my dad forbid it, but his house, his rules. We had the wedding that we could afford and I would never have the wedding guests subsidize our wedding. I can understand a cash bar, but truthfully I'd prefer for alcohol to not be served if that's the option. Even though our reception was very simple, we were as married as what someone would be if they had of had a grand wedding.

 

[creativeamanda]

I can accept the fact that I may have to pay for a soda. But it is really, really hard to understand a wedding where there is no meal served. Especially if you have traveled to get there. I know it is a regional thing, but I don't understand it.

You would have hated my wedding--it was a 2:00pm ceremony, when punch and cake were acceptable. That's what we had. It is not the bride's family's responsibility to make sure you are fed.

FWIW, my invitations stated, "light reception following the ceremony".

The meal for those who traveled a lot is the rehearsal dinner, where dh's family cooked for them.

As far as the wedding went--I wasn't wanting gifts or anything of that sort. My wedding was a church service. How many people go to a church service expecting to be fed dinner?

 

[Stella3]

Nope.

Picked up DS from a kiddie birthday party and was told what my share of the event came to, though. Nothing on the invites, nothing when dropping off, but when we picked up, we were all told what we owed.

Hmphhh. That is when I would tell the Mom, "So sorry, I don't have my pocketbook with me, I'll have to get back with you".

 

[KristaTX]

I've never even been to a wedding reception where sodas were available at all - for free or not. All but a couple I've been to have just had punch from a bowl available. And I have never been to one where a meal (sit-down or buffet) was served . It's usually just some salty nuts, some butter mints, the punch, and a cake or two.

I hate going to weddings, though. I've been to maybe 12 in my life. Maybe I'd like them more if I lived up north . I never could figure out why the average cost of weddings was so high until I joined the DIS several years ago and started reading about typical northern weddings.

 

[aprilgail2]

I've never even been to a wedding reception where sodas were available at all - for free or not. All but a couple I've been to have just had punch from a bowl available. And I have never been to one where a meal (sit-down or buffet) was served . It's usually just some salty nuts, some butter mints, the punch, and a cake or two.

I hate going to weddings, though. I've been to maybe 12 in my life. Maybe I'd like them more if I lived up north . I never could figure out why the average cost of weddings was so high until I joined the DIS several years ago and started reading about typical northern weddings.

LOL- if I went to weddings like that I would hate them and not want to go either LOL!
Punch, nuts and mints- oh yummy- NOT!

 

[KristaTX]

Did I mention that I really do not like going to weddings?

 

[manning]

Nope.

Picked up DS from a kiddie birthday party and was told what my share of the event came to, though. Nothing on the invites, nothing when dropping off, but when we picked up, we were all told what we owed.

I would have told them the same thing I told someone hitting me up for a loan


"go to Helene Waite for the money."

 

[Saphire]

It is not the bride's family's responsibility to make sure you are fed.

FWIW, my invitations stated, "light reception following the ceremony".

The meal for those who traveled a lot is the rehearsal dinner, where dh's family cooked for them.

As far as the wedding went--I wasn't wanting gifts or anything of that sort. My wedding was a church service. How many people go to a church service expecting to be fed dinner?

Like I said, it is a regional thing. Most weddings in the Northeast are not only the church sevice, but a reception afterwards held at a different place, which last for hours. Many people travel to get there. I think it is reasonable that there is food for the guests.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Did I mention that I really do not like going to weddings?

Krista, do you like going to weddings?

 

[Becky2005]

It used to be the tradition for guests to "send" drinks to the head table, as the wedding party didn't really carry any money.

This is the first time I have ever heard of that one.

 

[DisneyKT]

I've never even been to a wedding reception where sodas were available at all - for free or not. All but a couple I've been to have just had punch from a bowl available. And I have never been to one where a meal (sit-down or buffet) was served . It's usually just some salty nuts, some butter mints, the punch, and a cake or two.

I hate going to weddings, though. I've been to maybe 12 in my life. Maybe I'd like them more if I lived up north . I never could figure out why the average cost of weddings was so high until I joined the DIS several years ago and started reading about typical northern weddings.

Wow that is money saving. I have lived in MA/RI my whole life. I was married in 95. Had a sit down dinner with coffee/tea/soda/ bottle of red and white wine on table.

I had to limit the alcohol because there are some issues with relatives.

But my wedding wasn't to much money Im pretty frugal.

 

[Goobergal99]

Another NE girl here and every wedding I have ever been to was open bar (including my own) I think its tacky to ask people to pay for anything at all at an event you host... but thats just me

 

[Goobergal99]

You would have hated my wedding--it was a 2:00pm ceremony, when punch and cake were acceptable. That's what we had. It is not the bride's family's responsibility to make sure you are fed.

FWIW, my invitations stated, "light reception following the ceremony".

The meal for those who traveled a lot is the rehearsal dinner, where dh's family cooked for them.

As far as the wedding went--I wasn't wanting gifts or anything of that sort. My wedding was a church service. How many people go to a church service expecting to be fed dinner?

Here everyone expects a reception after the service, wheter in a church or not... but different strokes for different folks I guess. It's a different aculturation in the NE. Heavily Irish and Italian Catholic and they like to have big partys after weddings and we like to drink as well