Have you ever been "stalked"?

[DisTeach1]

I have a friend who I think might be being stalked...however, it's not an obvious, every day thing. Have you ever been stalked by anyone? What were the circumstances and how often did you hear from the person stalking you?

Seems like an interesting topic for a boring start to the day...I've never been stalked and no one I know really has, but I do know someone who has a restraining order against them.

 

[kirbsam]

other than by a few disers, no.

 

[becpee]

My family had a stalker, a crazy girl my brother went out with a few times.

She said some really crazy stuff over the phone when my dad passed away and used to ring up on the anniversary of his death (well her and her nutjob mum).

She followed me to work a few times and would ring my brother at his job and tell him what I wore that day to work and what time I went to morning tea and where I got it from

She tried to add me on Facebook with some fake name but I never added her, but some friends added her and she started throwing around accusations about one of her ex friends fiance's and somehow I knew she was behind it all, the guy she was accusing was one of my brothers good friends.

I went to the police but all this was happening before they really knuckled down on stalking and cyber bullying, but luckily it stopped and she hasn't popped up for a while.

Had she not been making the phone calls to our house I would not have even known she had been following me, she is very sneaky (and scary )

 

[ChiCat]

Yes. And it went on for over two years. He would sometimes go months without any contact and then he would come back. I can't get into many details it's a very personal story. I don't know why he finally gave up but I haven't heard from him in a long while maybe a year? So I think this time he's finally given up but I wouldn't be surprised at all to get an email from him, a call or worse yet, a knock on my bedroom window. My dh knows all about him although my stalker doesn't know I'm married now. He did break into my house twice. It was very scary and for stupid reasons relating to ruining his life I didn't go to the police because it could effect his career since he was a doctor.

 

[happily single]

I guess you could say I was stalked.

I met a guy on-line, finally exchanges cell phone numbers. I was pretty leary and never revealed my last name, street address, etc. We make plans to go out for our first date on Sunday. He calls me Sunday afternoon to tell me the bar up the street from my house looks lousy, the apartment one street over is boarded up (it was in a fire several weeks before) etc. So now I freaked out. But I happened to be outside doing front yard work and my kids were in the front yard. He starts driving by the house and refuses to stop until I go over and speak with him!! I cancelled the date that night, but he assured me he was just excited to meet me, etfc. FYI, he was much older than I was, so no "young kid" here. Fully grown man.

Yup, I did end up going out with him and had a small relationship. But then, after it ended he found my job! I refused to go outside to see him and luckily he was so mad that he didn't come in.

No harm ever came from it but it was still freaky

 

[tiggger1]

I was kinda stalked in college. There was this boy in our Sociology class ( a huge class of close to 200 students) that was a loner. My friend and I would sit in the back and and this guy sat next to us. He was nice but had a weird sense of humor. One day my friend and I were complaining how Valentine's Day sucked because I got dumped the year before on valentines day and I didnt have a boyfriend this year. The next class was Valentines day and he showed up with a card for each of us plus a red rose and a box of candy. Normally that would have been sweet but the messages inside the card was freaky. one said something like

Rose's are red, Ashes are black
I could kill the guy that hurt you
in one simple whack.

My friend's was similar

Rose's are red, violets are blue
When I see you in your bed
I want to be there naked with you.

needless to say it freaked us out and that day we noticed how he was always around. He would be sitting outside each of our classes, he would be standing on the street when we would leave the parking lot. He would be at the table next to us in the cafe. Now this was a huge state college with over 12,000 students so it wasn't by coincidence. Besides the one class we never saw him in a class...We finally went to the campus police and turned out he wasnt even a current student. The next thing we knew he was arrested on a unrelated charge of assault.

 

[VAfamily1998]

We make plans to go out for our first date on Sunday. He calls me Sunday afternoon to tell me the bar up the street from my house looks lousy, the apartment one street over is boarded up (it was in a fire several weeks before) etc. So now I freaked out.

Why would you "freak out" because he didn't like the look of the bar where you were supposed to meet?

 

[DisTeach1]

Yes. And it went on for over two years. He would sometimes go months without any contact and then he would come back. I can't get into many details it's a very personal story. I don't know why he finally gave up but I haven't heard from him in a long while maybe a year? So I think this time he's finally given up but I wouldn't be surprised at all to get an email from him, a call or worse yet, a knock on my bedroom window. My dh knows all about him although my stalker doesn't know I'm married now. He did break into my house twice. It was very scary and for stupid reasons relating to ruining his life I didn't go to the police because it could effect his career since he was a doctor.

This is similar to my friend...an older, successful MARRIED man, who she only hears from every few months, so ti's hard to say "stalking". I wouldn't be surprised if you hear from him either!!

 

[JarethDrakul]

On a forum I used to go on alot there was this really, quite scary person who kept messaging me random messages and started sending me all this personal information about myself to me.....stuff I'd never mentioned to anyone on said forum (my name, what city I lived in, where I went to college, other forums I used etc.). It only had for a short while but it really disturbed me about how she got that much stuff about me....

 

[Allison]

Why would you "freak out" because he didn't like the look of the bar where you were supposed to meet?

I'm assuming because even though she hadn't given her last name or address, he knew where she lived. He was referencing things in the context of where she lived.

 

[DisTeach1]

I'm assuming because even though she hadn't given her last name or address, he knew where she lived. He was referencing things in the context of where she lived.

That's what I got out of it too...Someone who she hadn't even met for one date found out a WHOLE lot about her and scoped out the neighborhood a head of time...Weird!

 

[Momvic5]

I have never been stalked, but my brother was stalked by an old girlfriend in high school. She seemed like such a nice girl when they first started dating, but then she started getting very jealous of everything he did. He broke up with her, and she began stalking him. She followed him when he went out with his friends or while he was on dates, and she would leave weird notes in his school locker and truck. She even started spreading rumors about other girls he was friends with. My parents contacted her parents many times, but she persisted to stalk him. Eventually after about six months, she stopped. She found a new love - we think.

 

[worm761]

I was twice. The first was a guy in high school. It was bad. He followed me everywhere. He sent gifts, peeped in my windows. It got to a point where he would break into the house when we weren't there and go through my things. He started taking things too. When it got to the point of him trying to break in my bedroom while I was in it, my parents decided to move. It is a twisted and convoluted story. My father is the one that decided we should move as I was completely losing it. My mother, on the other hand, didn't see the big deal and felt I should just give him a chance. Now these things started, the gifts and such, before he even knew my name. It truly scared the crap out of me and affects me to this day. I put a lot of blame on my mother for not putting a stop to it. I felt she encouraged at least some of his behavior. My mother and I had many many issues. This was just one.

The second was when I was in college. I had a part time job and became friends with one of the girls. Shortly after that she broke up with her boyfriend and a few months later started dating my brother. Her ex decided the best way to get revenge on her and my brother was to kill me. He pointed a gun at me at work, would sit outside of my apartment, and followed me places. I was never left alone for my own safety. He wouldn't touch me as long as there was a witness. It didn't stop until he was arrested for something else. When I went to the police about, they said that until he actually harmed me, there was nothing they would do. The owner of the place I worked did file a complaint and made it so that he could not come onto the property so I could work in peace.

 

[clh2]

I had a weird thing happen in college...oh-so many years ago. Now, 20ish years later..I still refuse to have my first name in the phone book. LAst name, first initial - that's it.

 

[paintnolish]

Not sure what the definition of stalking is, but I did have a guy who didn't take our breakup well. He did a lot of drive-bys and sitting outside my work. He also came in once (under the guise of doing business- it was a bank) to talk to me. I also got a lot of hang-up phonecalls. I ignored it and I guess he got the hint.

 

[VAfamily1998]

I'm assuming because even though she hadn't given her last name or address, he knew where she lived. He was referencing things in the context of where she lived.

Oh ok... I guess I assumed it was the bar they were supposed to meet at so she had already told him the location. whoops!

 

[Carly_Roach]

Have you ever been "stalked"?

Only online.

 

[kimmar067]

I have a friend who I think might be being stalked...however, it's not an obvious, every day thing. Have you ever been stalked by anyone? ...

...sometimes I feel like that HERE on the DIS...

 

[sorcerormickey]

I wasn't, but a girl I worked with was and it was quite creepy/scary.

We worked in retail, in a mall. My coworker was Native American, not too common in the area we lived in. A NA guy came in, saw her, and wanted to go out with her just because she was NA. She turned him down and that's when he started stalking her.

This guy would show up everyday looking for her. He would wait outside of the store while she was working. Mall Security could do nothing to make him leave since he was not breaking any mall rules. A Security Guard would walk her to her car when she left.

She was finally able to get a Restraining Order against him, and that was good enough to keep him out of the mall and away from her. But the guy would just not leave her alone. She ended up moving across country just to get away from this guy. She was really nice and it sucked that she had to move because of some creeper.

 

[dawson5]

My brother in law was by an ex. She would come by our house, call our house, his house, his new gf's, etc. I got her to stop calling our home by recording the sound of a disconnected phone on our answering machine. She started up again a year later. I finally called her home and spoke to her sister about this, we had caller ID and was able to give dates and times. I did tell the sister if she did not quit I was going to the police, we had a newborn at the time and her calls came at all hours.

This girl happened to name her two sons my nephew's name (one son had his first name and her second had his middle name). I think it's too much of a coincidence. My sister in law is secure in her marriage and doesn't worry about this girl. She is more of a nuisance than a threat.