Have you ever attended a Wake/Viewing?

[~*Belle 2003*~]

We do not have this tradition in our family, nor do any of our friends, so I have never been to one.

 

[KristaTX]

I haven't, either. I'm not even really sure what goes on at a wake .

 

[sweet angel]

Isn't a wake the viewing prior to the funeral? We usually have a day or two of viewings (wake?) and then a morning funeral, followed by a burial or cremation or entombment, followed by a repass (repast?).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I have--don't wish to do it again.

 

[wdw4life]

My family has had viewings before, but I've never gone to one. I just go to the funeral.

 

[llij]

Unfortunately, yes I have.

 

[Mary Anne]

I was brought up going to wakes. Italian and Irish families. Generally you go in pay your respects and sit for awhile.

I was brought up that you always pay your respects to the dead and those they left behind. I know it sounds strange but when I hear of a death of someone I know I have to go to the wake to pay my respects and if possible the funeral.

 

[Blondy876]

I have been to more viewings than I would like to count. Probably about 14 in the last 15 years. Actually, I went to 3 within a month. Around here they usually have a viewing the night before and then again the next day before the funeral. Always so sad, especially when they are for kids.

 

[grinningghost]

Several. They are a bit bizarre to me.

 

[Charade]

Yes, too many.

 

[sweet angel]

I'm finding this interesting because I've been to a lot. I always thought it was something everyone did. Like another poster said, you go to pay your respects.

 

[DawnCt1]

Many. In fact, when my grandparents died, two years apart; both died at home and my parents lived with them to take care of them at the time. We lived in very rural northern Maine. Wakes were most often held at home. The funeral director would come to the house, remove the body and return the next day with the open casket, screening, the flowers, etc. Mourners would come to the house from about 11 am on, for two days. They would bring meals, baked goods, coffee, etc and it would continue until around 9 pm at night. I can remember getting up in the morning, walking down stairs past the parlor and seeing first my grandfather and then of course, two years later, my grandmother in the casket. I was around 9 and then 11 at the time.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Yes, and in our area that is what is common. We call it "receiving of friends" and it's usually the evening before the funeral. People stand in a long line to walk by and look at you in the casket. I think it's horrible and hate to see (it's usually older people) lean in the casket and just say, "oh, how good he looks" um, excuse me, how good can he look - HE'S DEAD!!!!! I have vowed that my services will be either a closed casket or even a memorial type service where my body is no where to be found. I would like my family to have a quiet simple service in private and then a memorial at the church or graveside if others want to pay their respects. At the family "viewings" we've had it's so miserable for the family. I know people mean well, but to stand on your feet for several hours while people file through the line to say, blah, blah, blah when you already feel like a mess, it's just to hard. oops, stepping off my soapbox now
Lisa
Tiger Fan

 

[Kermit]

I've only been to wakes at the funeral home. I do consider the wake more important if for some reason I can't make both the funeral and the wake. You get to talk to the surviving family members at the wake.

 

[DawnCt1]

. I know people mean well, but to stand on your feet for several hours while people file through the line to say, blah, blah, blah when you already feel like a mess, it's just to hard. oops, stepping off my soapbox now
Lisa
Tiger Fan

It is hard but I have to say that having a wake is truly the best thing, particularly an open casket. It gives family members and friends a chance to say goodbye and to really accept that their loved one is not coming back. When my mother passed away after a valient battle with breast cancer in our home, I was so gratified by the many, many people who came to her wake. Every face was important to me because there were people who knew and loved her. I cared for my mother with the help of hospice in our home, we had a wake with an open casket and if I had it to do over again I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[TLinden16]

I think it's horrible and hate to see (it's usually older people) lean in the casket and just say, "oh, how good he looks" um, excuse me, how good can he look - HE'S DEAD!!!!!

I absolutely hate when people say that at a wake. It's mostly that people just don't know what to say, so they say "Deosn't she look great." When my mom passed away, I had mentioned to my aunts and a few friends that I hate it when someone says the deceased look good. It had spread through most people, but I did have one person say it to me at the wake.

I really hate going to wakes. It's one of those things that I just don't get, but I go to them when I have to. I can understand paying your respects, and being there for the family, but there has got to be a better way.

Karen

 

[Twinkles6892]

My great-grandmother's funeral was open casket. I felt bad not going to see her, (I was 12). She died of cancer, I hadn't seen her in a few months. She looked so different. All I remember is my dad saying "I want you to remember Grammy as she was. Not as she looks here."

 

[Angelrose]

When my Italian grandmother died, they had the viewing/wake at her house. We had people start coming around 7pm until 11pm. They were lined up around the block to pay their respects. She was well loved in her community. What I remember was the smell of alllll those flowers. At 11pm my dad took us outside and the air smelled so fresh! We stayed up all night (hence the name, "wake"). I also have been to all my aunts, uncles and my parents wakes and lastly my cousin's son. That one was hard. He was just in his twenties. But I know it helps to know so many people care about the deceased. And it's a chance to say goodby.

 

[SPAM]

yes, i went to my friend sara's who died last september at 16 years of age. in one week two girls at my school died (my friend sara included) and my nana. so it was a sucky week

 

[slo]

I have been to several and I am very indifferent about them. For some reason I don't mind them when the person who died is elderly. But I have been to one where the person who died was a friend of mine and was in her late 20's when she died and that was very hard to see. She just didn't look like herself and she was just to young to be in that casket.