Have college age kids contribute or not?

[eeyoresmom]

I feel the same way. I also couldn't imagine asking my children to contribute to a vacation. I wonder if the OP realizes that very shortly, her children that love Disney will soon be gone from the house and starting their own lives and they may not be able to join her on Disney ventures anymore.

I think if DD asked me to take her, I would jump at the chance and relish every moment of it. The money would not be my concern. It won't be long before her DD is off to college and then off to a new life of her own.

Did you read the whole thread? We are talking about multiple trips a year. I've brought her (and sometimes friends) AT LEAST 3 times a year since 2007. We live 1200 miles away so we fly. So if your DD asked you to take her 4 TIMES A YEAR, you would jump at the chance? This year I stuck to my plans and we went once. I know, mean Mom.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

We are not going to WDW for her birthday/graduation. She didn't start talking about it until it was too late and we are out of DVC points.Again, I think people are answering without reading the whole thread. I have always paid ALL expenses for the once a year family trips. My older DD's started asking to go on extra trips to bring a friend, etc. And they did contribute a few hundred dollars to these extra trips. Older DDs have worked since they were 14 and when they were all living at home and we were bringing a friend or two, I was taking 5-7 Disney adults by myself. Now this dd is used to going several times a year ( at her request) outside if the usual once a year trip.She has brought along a friend more times than my older girls did.I have never asked her to contribute because now that I am not paying for 7-8 Disney adults, 2-4 seems very affordable to me. My concern is that this is not really fair to my older kids who when they wanted to talk me into a big end of summer trip to Disney would offer to pay a few hundred dollars.I believe I have explained this three times now and somehow it gets back to me asking my kids to pay for the traditional once a year vacation ( which, by the way, I am not personally opposed to if they kids can do so without added stress)

You are right...you have explained yourself at least three times now! Don't worry about what anyone else would do. We all have different answers depending on how our parents took us on vacation, how many children we have now, the size of our disposable income, our travel patterns, etc. Do what works for your family, your budget, number of siblings (taking into account the fairness thing you mentioned), your travel patterns, and forget about what we all say

 

[eeyoresmom]

Yes,thank you. I truly respect the posters opinions that I don't necessarily agree with , who read the whole thread. In asking the question, I was trying to get an idea of how others would or do handle similar circumstances. Several people have made comments that they would never have their kids pay toward a family vacation, which is not the scenario I described at all. I think some are skimming the thread. I asked the question because we are not a typical, once a year, Mom, Dad and 2 kids go on vacation family. In that case there would be no grey area for me. I am going to continue to pay for the once a year trip and if she suggests more trips I will have her pay for something. She needs to understand that someone has to work for these vacations and it shouldn't always be Mom alone.

 

[pocomom]

Yes,thank you. I truly respect the posters opinions that I don't necessarily agree with , who read the whole thread. In asking the question, I was trying to get an idea of how others would or do handle similar circumstances. Several people have made comments that they would never have their kids pay toward a family vacation, which is not the scenario I described at all. I think some are skimming the thread. I asked the question because we are not a typical, once a year, Mom, Dad and 2 kids go on vacation family. In that case there would be no grey area for me. I am going to continue to pay for the once a year trip and if she suggests more trips I will have her pay for something. She needs to understand that someone has to work for these vacations and it shouldn't always be Mom alone.

Sorry if you are getting frustrated. I did read the thread and as I said for us, our family, I would pay for the trips. I don't know maybe your kids like you more than my teenager liked us but I would have been thrilled for her to want to spend time with me, even when it was basically as her driver even if it were multiple times a year.. I personally wouldn't use the vacation time (except spending money) as the point to teach the value of money, work ethic and whatnot. But I do for other times and things as I said. Since you mentioned your other kid's so much I think some of us were focused on the issue of fairness in relationship to them, not so much her individual work ethic/money values, and for some of us time together would not be the time to deal with those issue anyway. Someone else mentioned rent at that age, and I too was in college, living on my own and paying bills then, so it is certainly appropriate if you want to ask her to pay, however.

 

[mrsklamc]

Despite how circumstances may have changed, it is wrong to give a younger child trips to Disney on a regular basis when the other siblings had to pay. It's not the older kids' fault they were born first.

 

[aimeeinohio]

I say do what ever works for your family We are going to WDW in August as my daughters graduation gift. She has been told that if for some reason she does not graduate she will be paying for her portion of the trip.

 

[eeyoresmom]

I say do what ever works for your family We are going to WDW in August as my daughters graduation gift. She has been told that if for some reason she does not graduate she will be paying for her portion of the trip.

Well that would be incentive enough for my DD

 

[pocomom]

Despite how circumstances may have changed, it is wrong to give a younger child trips to Disney on a regular basis when the other siblings had to pay. It's not the older kids' fault they were born first.

older kids also get more alone time and focus in the begining of their lives (in general, since there aren't other kids) Circumstances change. Sometimes older kids get things and then parents have a layoff or illness (or more kids) and it is not feasable anymore. There is no way to make everything exactly equal in children's lives. I mean when you are the second, third, or fourth girl in the family you are probably not getting as many new clothes, or new toys as the older kids did, for that matter. Times change too. The oldest kid would never have had a smartphone at the ages my younger kids do, but they didn't have them and not everyone was carrying cell phones then - This year we don't have a home phone so everyone but my three year old has one. You just can't compare what this kid had and that kid, besides each has different needs, the important thing is to try to meet the individual child's needs.

 

[mrsklamc]

older kids also get more alone time and focus in the begining of their lives (in general, since there aren't other kids) Circumstances change. Sometimes older kids get things and then parents have a layoff or illness (or more kids) and it is not feasable anymore. There is no way to make everything exactly equal in children's lives. I mean when you are the second, third, or fourth girl in the family you are probably not getting as many new clothes, or new toys as the older kids did, for that matter. Times change too. The oldest kid would never have had a smartphone at the ages my younger kids do, but they didn't have them and not everyone was carrying cell phones then - This year we don't have a home phone so everyone but my three year old has one. You just can't compare what this kid had and that kid, besides each has different needs, the important thing is to try to meet the individual child's needs.

Everything is never going to be equal, but it is not right to be so blatantly unfair with something like this, when it is totally within the parents' ability to make it more equal. It's also not worth the damage it may cause to the relationship with the older children. I've seen a lot of parents underestimate how much their older children are hurt by the changes in parenting w/ younger siblings.

 

[DCbride]

I haven't read all the posts but here's my 2 cents

With my older ones we went to Disney every other year. We made less and there weren't many discounts in the 90's. Our youngest at 5 has been on 16 trips to Disney with us. I was a stay at home mom with them and now have a full time job. (which is a whole different conversation) But the reality is, our circumstances have changed so there is no reason why the rules have to stay the same.

I do not think the your DD needs to contribute to Disney, but it would be smart to have her save for something big for the future - a trip (spring break in college, backpacking Europe, a car)