Have college age kids contribute or not?

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

No, I wouldn't ask her to contribute. I would just take her. I'm 42 and my Mom and Dad would want to pay my way. When I go on a trip without them, just with my own family, they give me money! When my 35 year old sister goes places with us she stays with them in a room. And she makes more than both of them put together.

 

[Robbi]

I'd pay for both my daughter and her friend but that's how we've always handled trips at our house. You have handled these differently. I say go with what you feel is best. If she has a potential spending problem, this seems like a relatively painless way to have her learn the lesson.

 

[kimsuenew]

In fairness to your older kids, I say she should contribute. I have friends from big families and the older kids do notice that the younger ones don't have to follow the same guidelines. Yes, they are all adults now, but it still causes some family *******. It will also teach your younger daughter the same lessons about working and money that the older ones learned, setting her up for a financially responsible future.

I agree. Coming from a family of four, 2 older and 2 considerably younger, the differences made in rules, gifts, and expectations can leave a sour taste in the mouth of the older ones. What you did for one should be done for the other!

 

[tikistitch]

I'm well into my 20's as are my two sisters and my parents never make us pay for any part of a family vacation. However, any trips outside our family vacations (we take 1-3 a year) we pay for fully. Usually these trips aren't taken with our parents or other family members though. I'm a graduate student and usually take several trips a year that are school related or with friends and I take on odd jobs like babysitting or working on the school newspaper to earn my own travel money. Sometimes I have to ask my parents for money for these trips and in exchange they have me do things like lawn care all summer or whatever other big tasks they need done around the house.

 

[wallawallakids]

No, I wouldn't ask her to contribute. I would just take her. I'm 42 and my Mom and Dad would want to pay my way. When I go on a trip without them, just with my own family, they give me money! When my 35 year old sister goes places with us she stays with them in a room. And she makes more than both of them put together.

I am adoptable!

 

[antree]

I think it's fine to ask your DD to pay for her annual pass. We go to Disney every year sometimes 2x a yr. We go because the kids want to and they love Disney. My DD has been paying for her annual pass since she was 16 and now she's 19 yrs old.
It started with her 16 birthday, she wanted a huge party and go to Disney. So the deal was she had to pay for her pass with her birthday money. She had no problem doing it.
By 17 she had a part time job, so the deal was, when we go to Disney she pays for her pass. Once again she had no problem. She is now in College and still works part time and she pays for her pass once a yr. I will pay for everything else. She also takes her own spending money, if and when she runs out of money I will give her more spending money. I know she doesn't bring a lot, she does only work part time.
Disney is not cheap, we go because we all enjoy it and the kids know it helps when they can help.
My 10 yr son will take his own spending money at times from money he gets from birthday and holidays since he was 6. Like I said they don't mind because they want to go to Disney.
Asking your DD to pay for her pass is no big deal. She has a year to save for it the way you save to make it possible to go on vacation.
I see it as giving them responsibility and they are doing something they are enjoying.

 

[DLgal]

Once I was in college, I paid for my own Disney trips. When I did go with my mom and sister once, she paid for the hotel room and some of the meals we ate together, but I had to buy my own ticket and bring my own spending money. I also had to pay for my own airplane ticket.

 

[MrsPete]

I would invite my college daugther to go with us on a family vacation.
If she said she refused politely, I would not be insulted.

I would pay all of her expenses, even if that meant cutting back in some ways: A cheaper hotel, breakfast in the room, etc. I'd rather have her than nice meals.

I would not allow her to invite a friend, regardless of who was paying. Since she's away at school, I get so little time with her that I would not want another person intruding on the family dynamics.

If one of my girls were engaged to be married, I would include a fiance' on a family trip. If he's about to become a part of the family dynamic, then that would be appropriate. If we invited him on our family trip, we'd pay for him.

In future years, once the kids are all established in the working world, I hope we'll do some family trips. By that point, I'd think we'd all plan together and would work out the finances together, everyone paying a portion. My husband and I would probably still pay a larger portion (i.e., we'd rent a house, everyone would cover his/her own transportation and chip in for food) because we are able to do so, while the kids would still be young in their careers.

 

[lurkernj]

I wouldn't have my kids pay for a trip until they were out of college and had a job.

Chances are if they are asking me to go on a trip with them, I'd just be happy they wanted to go with me, and would just pay (as long as I also was interested in said trip).

Older DS is approaching 18 next month, and if he travels with his friends, he can pay for that (though I'd probably still help him with it).

DH and I decided years ago that we wanted them to focus on school, church activities/volunteering, and sports, which leave little time to work, with the exception of the summer when they lifeguard (and some tutoring for some pocket money), so they really don't have much cash at their disposal.

I suppose if they worked more instead of the other activities, I'd have different financial expectations of them so they weren't blowing it all on video games.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

I pay for airfare ,hotel ,park tickets and most food. They pay for extra activities treats and souvenirs.

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[Sunnywho]

I agree. Coming from a family of four, 2 older and 2 considerably younger, the differences made in rules, gifts, and expectations can leave a sour taste in the mouth of the older ones. What you did for one should be done for the other!

Sometimes financial circumstances change so that it's possible to provide things that weren't possible when the older ones were young. Also kids grow fast. I didn't know that with my first but I'm well aware with my youngest!

 

[pocomom]

Heck I am 44 and my parents still want to pay for our Disney trips. We have to force them to take the money.

Me too! This last vacation was the first time I was allowed to pay for a trip that they joined us on - I just booked everything and then asked them to come - they still tried to give me money. All other trips we have taken with them they have paid for nearly everything unless dh and I pull the waitress aside or find a way to pay in some other sneaky manner. I think it is sweet, makes us feel loved, makes them feel nice- and I certainly am not unmotivated to work or save. In fact their generosity in this area has motivated me to work hard to be able to do the same for them. I think if you don't need it she has much bigger things to save for now ... if you want to make things equal you could make her cough up the cash now but set it aside to give her at graduation or something. I actually did this with my stepdaughter- She could be a real handful and frequently did things like run up a $500 texting bill etc, when she was young. I always made her pay us back for stuff like that, but I put it in an account for her. She doesn't know. Either when she graduates college or when she gets married, or buys a home (depening on maturity level at that point) I'm going to give it to her. If any of the kids come home after college, or don't go, or take a semester off or something they'll need to pay rent too, which I plan to put to those accounts.

 

[mm1971]

I can't imagine ever asking my children to contribute to a vacation no matter how old they are. If I ask/take them, I would expect to pay for them. The exception would be spending money if they were old enough to earn it themselves.

Not saying having them contribute is wrong or even unusual. I just think that being able to spend time with them as a family is enough for me. My parents actually took the whole family (10 of us total) and paid for everything except food and spending money. They were happy to do it and we all had a great time so that may be where my opinion comes from.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I wouldn't have my kids pay for a trip until they were out of college and had a job.

Chances are if they are asking me to go on a trip with them, I'd just be happy they wanted to go with me, and would just pay (as long as I also was interested in said trip).

Older DS is approaching 18 next month, and if he travels with his friends, he can pay for that (though I'd probably still help him with it).

DH and I decided years ago that we wanted them to focus on school, church activities/volunteering, and sports, which leave little time to work, with the exception of the summer when they lifeguard (and some tutoring for some pocket money), so they really don't have much cash at their disposal.

I suppose if they worked more instead of the other activities, I'd have different financial expectations of them so they weren't blowing it all on video games.

I would invite my college daugther to go with us on a family vacation.
If she said she refused politely, I would not be insulted.

I would pay all of her expenses, even if that meant cutting back in some ways: A cheaper hotel, breakfast in the room, etc. I'd rather have her than nice meals.

I would not allow her to invite a friend, regardless of who was paying. Since she's away at school, I get so little time with her that I would not want another person intruding on the family dynamics.

If one of my girls were engaged to be married, I would include a fiance' on a family trip. If he's about to become a part of the family dynamic, then that would be appropriate. If we invited him on our family trip, we'd pay for him.

In future years, once the kids are all established in the working world, I hope we'll do some family trips. By that point, I'd think we'd all plan together and would work out the finances together, everyone paying a portion. My husband and I would probably still pay a larger portion (i.e., we'd rent a house, everyone would cover his/her own transportation and chip in for food) because we are able to do so, while the kids would still be young in their careers.

This is how I feel about the issue. I pay for all family vacations, extra trips with me and school sponsored trips. If my college age child wanted to take a trip without me, with friends then they would have to pay for that themselves. My parents paid my way on all trips I went on with them until I was out of college and working. After I started working, if I vacationed with them they paid for the hotel/condo and a couple of meals, I covered everything else. When I married, they invited my DH along, same deal. Now I'm 47, we have two kids of our own and take our own family vacations. But every other year my parents invite all their children (4 of us) and grandchildren to join them on vacation. They cover the hotel/condo and we all pay for our own transportation, activities and almost all food. My mom and dad usually treat the whole crowd to a meal or two. We have made some incredible family memories on these special trips!

 

[tzeitel]

Is she asking for this extra trip to be a graduation/birthday present? If so, then I would pay for everything.

If this is an extra trip just because she want to go to WDW again I would work something out with her. Paying for her own ticket would be a good idea, I also like the idea someone else posted about her paying for a nice meal out. It really depends on what she can afford.

If this was the last trip before college I would make an effort to make it happen. Who knows when you would be able to take another, especially just the two of you

 

[dhuba]

Heck I am 44 and my parents still want to pay for our Disney trips. We have to force them to take the money.

My parents always want to pay for everything we do together. Even the food at the holidays I hold at my house they want to give me money for since I do all our holidays because my sister's house is too small and can't contribute financially. It's a parent thing. We are better off than they are too, which really is funny.
I would never make my kids pay for a vacation even when they were older unless they were better off then we were maybe. They are 21 and 23 now, and one in college and works nearly full time, and one with a job that doesn't pay that well. I figure as long as they are being responsible with the money they make, like saving for the future, I will gladly pay. I want them to be financially set someday like we are. I feel bad for them because luckily we never had to struggle because my husband has a good job and we lived below our means and have been responsible with our money and I can't see that happening for them with their careers.
I'd just want her to pay for own souvenirs and things like that, but not the tickets or food.

 

[1Mouse2RulethemAll]

Wondering what other families do or have done. We have 4 kids and have been going to WDW at least once a year for the past 12 years. Now my two oldest have had jobs since they were 14 years old. When they wanted to do an extra trip or bring friends along they contributed financially depending on their age and the circumstances. For example, one trip DD18 wanted to bring along a friend whose family does not have a lot of money. DD and friend each paid around $250 towards cost of park tickets.We own DVC and I paid for food .Most of the scenarios are something like this, with the kids contributing, but the trip heavily subsidized by Mom.Keep in mind that these trips all were for 6-8 Disney adults.Now said 2 DD's are semi independent and do not vacation with us anymore. The last few years it has been myself and DD #3 and occasionally DS ((he, like his father is not a huge fan of Disney, once every few years is enough) DD # 3 begs me to go several times a year. She works one day a week ( she is 17) and so far has not contributed to any trip we've taken.She is a really sweet kid, just not as motivated to work as her older siblings, but a good kid. Now here is what just occurred to me.I have not asked her to contribute because truthfully, I don't need her to. When her sisters were her age we were going with 6 to 8 people. Now it is usually just her and I and everything is so much cheaper obviously I'm thinking maybe I should have her pay for something if we go for her spring break next year. Most likely her own AP.My dilemma is that I can easily pay for the whole thing and she wil have to work extra while a fulltime student to come up with the money, but on the other hand, her sisters had to when they were her age. What do you guys think?

OP, I think it is more than fair for you to ask her to fork over some cash if this is a extra trip she wants. I am getting the impression that she has no compunction on spending your money, so this would make a very good life lesson for her.

(Before you all flame me, understand I was paying rent to my own parents by time I was her age. )


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[eeyoresmom]

Is she asking for this extra trip to be a graduation/birthday present? If so, then I would pay for everything.

If this is an extra trip just because she want to go to WDW again I would work something out with her. Paying for her own ticket would be a good idea, I also like the idea someone else posted about her paying for a nice meal out. It really depends on what she can afford.

If this was the last trip before college I would make an effort to make it happen. Who knows when you would be able to take another, especially just the two of you

We are not going to WDW for her birthday/graduation. She didn't start talking about it until it was too late and we are out of DVC points.Again, I think people are answering without reading the whole thread. I have always paid ALL expenses for the once a year family trips. My older DD's started asking to go on extra trips to bring a friend, etc. And they did contribute a few hundred dollars to these extra trips. Older DDs have worked since they were 14 and when they were all living at home and we were bringing a friend or two, I was taking 5-7 Disney adults by myself. Now this dd is used to going several times a year ( at her request) outside if the usual once a year trip.She has brought along a friend more times than my older girls did.I have never asked her to contribute because now that I am not paying for 7-8 Disney adults, 2-4 seems very affordable to me. My concern is that this is not really fair to my older kids who when they wanted to talk me into a big end of summer trip to Disney would offer to pay a few hundred dollars.I believe I have explained this three times now and somehow it gets back to me asking my kids to pay for the traditional once a year vacation ( which, by the way, I am not personally opposed to if they kids can do so without added stress)

 

[Lionqueen2]

I can't imagine ever asking my children to contribute to a vacation no matter how old they are. If I ask/take them, I would expect to pay for them. The exception would be spending money if they were old enough to earn it themselves.

Not saying having them contribute is wrong or even unusual. I just think that being able to spend time with them as a family is enough for me. My parents actually took the whole family (10 of us total) and paid for everything except food and spending money. They were happy to do it and we all had a great time so that may be where my opinion comes from.

I feel the same way. I also couldn't imagine asking my children to contribute to a vacation. I wonder if the OP realizes that very shortly, her children that love Disney will soon be gone from the house and starting their own lives and they may not be able to join her on Disney ventures anymore.

I think if DD asked me to take her, I would jump at the chance and relish every moment of it. The money would not be my concern. It won't be long before her DD is off to college and then off to a new life of her own.

 

[blessedby3]

I have no problem with the fact that you want your DD to pay towards extra trips.
We are a family of 6, with kids ranging in age 5-23. We have only been able to take one WDW trip every 12-18 mos. We pay for everything for our kids. Oldest DD just got married this past July and when we go again, she and her DH will pay for their park tickets and food and DH and I will get the room and transportation down (driving/gas).
If I had a child asking to go multiple times, that would not be in our budget and I would surely ask them to pay (high school age and up, working a job).
We have also taken our kids friends a few times and the friend always pays for their park tickets, souvineers, and some meals (once we had the free dinin plan). We cover the travel, hotel, and some meals for them.