Have a parenting question/prayer request**UPDATE P 2***

[Wishing on a star]

I really have to agree with IlovDisney... Great post!! ( and yes, I think it was good to make your point very plainly, while trying not to offend...) Cindy, as you can tell by my post, IloveDisney and I are really making some of the same points. Based on the viewpoint of 'been there - done that'. That is what I meant when I said 'He knows what he knows', and 'dumb myself down socially'. When all the other kids are going on about the latest 'fad', (Pokemon, Harry Potter, the latest teen star, etc....) and engaging in that tit-for-tat stuff that I mentioned... Meanwhile, your son, who is psychologically on a whole different plain... may be rolling-his-eyes a little bit???

I haven't read Harry Potter (probably would not if I were a child, due to the fantasy/witchcraft, etc. involved....) but from what I understand it would be hard to find childrens reading that could be any more engaging or challenging to the mind and the imagination! So, I just couldn't quite understand your son's reasoning behind not enjoying these books. (Do they include a lot of the social relationship stuff that is going on as Harry Potter embarks on his adventures?) Could it be that it is totally NOT reality based? Sounds like your son may be firmly entrenched in the real business of learning about the reality of here-and-now? And NOT the imaginary....

When my son was little, he would hardly give Elmo or Barney a second look... But he could 'read' John Deere catalogs for hours! He is still completely obsessed with farming, knows the name of every type of farm implement, just how it works, etc... (we do not even know any farmers!!) But, little by little he is coming out of that! This is his third year at pre-school, and he is now picking up a little on the kid stuff that the other preschool kids are interested in! One example, I bought him the Caldecott winning childrens books 'Click Clack Mooooo - Cows that type', and the follow up 'Giggle, Giggle, Quack'. This successfully took a subject that he is interested in, and brought it down to a whimsical, lighthearted, (okay, totally hilarious!) preschool level! He LOVES these books, and knows every word by heart.

I mention this to maybe encourage some really creative thinking on how to maybe bridge some of your sons interests and talents over to his classmates interests.... And, also, if you are not doing this already, encourage your son to be a KID!! Remind him that everything does not have to be intellectually stimulating and challenging!

You know, when the social stuff does not come naturally, it is really easy to kind of pull-away and then develop / pursue interests that do not require that social interaction. I saw that you did mention that you realized that the Puzzles/Logic/Mazes/Computer games, etc. were all solitary endeavors.

Boy, I am sitting here kicking myself in the leg because I cannot remember the name of a book that I recently ran across online. It was really great. About a boy who sounds a lot like your son, who goes off to summer camp. ( a completely social experience...) And it shows how by the end of the summer camp he has a lot of new friends, a dark tan, and a big smile on face when his Mom picks him up! Like IloveDisney said, I am sure that there are a lot of wonderful resources out there for you and for your son.

And I really think that something like a 'big-brother' might be a good thing. A positive male relationship with a relatively young man who can relate to your son on his level, both as a kid, and as a very very bright young man! Sometimes something like this can do a lot that you cannot do as a mom.

Sorry for rambling on again... Hope this helps!!

 

[Cindy B]

He has never liked fads. He thought Pokemon was stupid, and Yu Gi oh, is really dumb as well. (His words not mine!) He never liked any of the latest fads at the time when he was a kid, like Power Rangers, or any of the other stuff, that was out in the early 90s.

Harry Potter was a book he read back in kindergarten.. (end of the year) back in 2001, before the movies came out.

To him, after he read Book 2, to him it was the same stuff... different day..it was ok. Not every kid likes Harry Potter.

He just really is on a different plane than most other kids. He has always been doing things on different levels since he was an infant. How many kindergarteners want microscopes and soloar system mobiles for thier birthday?


He is a very very bright kid. You should see him design some amazing theme parks and coasters on Roller coaster Tycoon... he has figured out G force, velocity, weight and other amazing things. He has more in common with older kids (like 11-12) than his own age.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow... from your additional description, sounds like I did have the right take on your son. I can just imagine!! Microscopes, Telescopes, design and engineering, etc... Boy, you just do not know how that sounds JUST like the boy in the book I mentioned to you!! I am going to try to find it and let you know the title. Now I am thinking I may have seen it at our little local library. I'll let you know if I do see it again any time soon!

You know, with your wonderful son being so academically and developmentally ahead of his age, I just had to wonder if there was any way at all he could skip a grade and actually be with kids who are a little older? Like maybe if that even meant Summer School, or whatever? That may make a difference on how he fits in as well? Because my birthday is late in the year, I was held back from starting Kindergarden until I was almost six. I was always way head of the other kids those first few years... Not just because I already knew how to read and do simple counting and math... Well, here is an example... I can remember on the first days of school, seeing all the other kids scared and crying... and I was sitting there wondering, 'Are these kids babies???' I was just past them in so many ways at that point.

Anyhow, sounds l like you are a WONDERFUL mom, ready to be there for your son and see that he is happy and successful... That by itself tells me that everything will turn out just wonderfull for him!!

 

[irishone1979]

Cindy,
I don't have too many words of wisdom for you, but I wanted you to know how much my prayers are with you. I know what your son is going through. When I was in school I was one of those "smart" kids. I got bored easily and I tended to be a loner because the people my own age were not on my level of thought. Most of the friends I did have were alot older than me and so I had no friends in my classes. It is tough to be that kid, believe me. I was made fun of every day that I was in school. When I was in 8th grade we moved from NY to Texas and things got worse. Some Kids are cruel and mean. I know that doesn't help, but it's true. I was in Honors English in High School and made strait A's. Unfortunately, I was horrible in Math and I was failing. No one could figure out why because I seemed to be such a "smart, bright" child. When I was a junior in High School my geometry teacher found out that I was dislexic with numbers. Very crazy.
Don't give up hope about your son. Things will get better. You are not the only one out there with this issue! My parents went through it with me too. Encourage your son to do the things he loves. I know you hate to see him be a loner and not have alot of friends, but sometimes it is hard for the smart kids to have friends because everyone else feels inferior to them and so they make fun of the smart one thinking that it will make them look better.
Encourage your son to read, Something I did all the time was read, I also wrote in a notebook my mother gave me. It wasn't a diary or anything, just a spiral notebook that I would write my thoughts, poems or anything else. It was a good release for me. And I learned that I am a good writer (although I don't admit that much). Just encourage your son about the things he is good at!
I am sending Hugs and Prayers your way!!!

Heather K (Soon to be Heather S)

PS- I know your son said he did't want to be smart forever, but that will change- Just FYI- I am marrying someone who is 11 years older than me and it's not a big deal. He and I are on the same "wavelength" or maturity.