Have a parenting question/prayer request**UPDATE P 2***

[damo]

What about pursuing something musical? Bright kids very often excell at some type of musical instrument. Through this they can join youth bands, etc. and find kids that are similar in personality and other interests.

 

[Carl]

ilovedisney had some excellent suggestions. If the teacher does not seem to be able to help, and the situation continues, I'd consider putting him in a private school or home schooling. However, if you home school, you will need to find other home schoolers and get some social interaction between your son and them. This is a danger of home schooling - lack of contact with other children. Does your son have a father? If not, look into a Big Brother program.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} I'm praying for you and your son. I'm praying that God will make him happy where he is and that you'll have the wisdom to do what you can. It's always tough to be on the outside, especially for someone so little.

 

[Rajah]

I had a similar problem when I was in school -- what my parents did for me that really helped was get some puzzle books designed for my age group or a little older. Things like logic, math, or word puzzles, the ones that are games. I'd spend hours playing with these various games that challenged me while providing entertainment at the same time. I also did a lot of reading. My parents also gave me other tasks at home to help keep me from being quite so bored, but they usually did so in such a way as to make them fun.

I've also heard that the Sylvan learning centers can help not only students that are having trouble keeping up, but students that aren't challenged enough -- you might check into that.

Hope this helps, and keep us posted?

P&PD & Hugs coming your way!

 

[TLHB70]

Hi! I read your story and my heart went out to you immediately. I taught in our local school system for six years. Then I taught in a private school for a year. I now stay at home and home school my two daughters. I love it! I do admit, like the last post said, that my girls do not have the daily interaction with other children like they did before at school. However, they do interact with friends at church three times a week. Also, I have them in choir and art lessons. Our city has a group of home schoolers that get together for activities, field trips, etc. It is great!
I do have an idea for you. Since your son doesn't appear to want to read after his seat work, maybe you can try buying some books at a teacher supply store. If there is not one near you then check the internet. Maybe you can buy him some activity books, some that he seems to like (Let him help you pick them out.), on the next grade level (or even higher). He can bring these to school and work in them after he finishes his other work. This could be a little more challenging for him since they would be on a higher level. Also, it could help his self-esteem to know that he can do higher level work. There are many fun activity books out there that are educational. Also, is it possible that maybe your son could help tutor other students? Would he want to do this? Talk to him first and see what he thinks. If he is willing then let the teacher know. Sometimes there are students that just can't catch on to what the teacher is saying, but when another student explains it then it clicks. Maybe your son could help some of the slower students when he is finished with his work. I know that it could be another issue that causes teasing. On the other hand, it could possibly help develop some friendships with those students he helps and boost his self-esteem. I would definitely talk to the teacher. Keep calling the school and be firm about wanting a conference.

 

[rosewells]

Hi. I always lurk but wanted to respond to this one. I have a 2nd grade boy also. I'm also very concerned about his social situation - he says he eats alone, plays alone at recess, etc.

First, I talked to his teacher and she said its not even true. My son may percieve it that way because he is being teased by one or two boys, but everyone else likes him.

Second, a friend of mine mentioned that someday when he gets alittle older, he will meet someone just like him (smart, quiet, loner), and they will become best buddies.

Third, I've talked to alot of other parents and they ALL say their kids are getting teased. I think a few mean kids must pick on all the other kids.

Fourth, there is a very smart boy in my sons class (he is also disruptive) and he can play on the computer when he is finished his papers before everyone else. This works great (if there is a computer in the class!).

Fifth, a book I read (okay, it was Dr. Spock) did recommend fostering friendships with playdates, trips to the movies, etc. We haven't done this because our son was always satified to be with my husband and I, but I think those days are coming to an end.

Good luck and remember you are not alone!

I have my son involved in soccer and other sports so he meets alot of other kids. I try to watch how he gets along with them also. (He is an only child and gets along better with adults.)

 

[Spinning]

Cindy I am so sorry to hear your son is going through this. I wish I had some thing to add to all the great suggestions and support. This is a hard time for kids and parents as well.
Let us know how it goes. I will keep all of you in my thoughts.

 

[ead79]

I'm not a parent, so I don't have any parental wisdom, but I will certainly pray for your son and your family. I hope the guidance counselor and other school personnel are really helpful. {{{HUGS}}} for you, Cindy. I think that what you said to your son about Jesus also being teased was really good. Maybe you will get a chance to reiterate that and get him to think about it. It's not always the best choice to simply fit in with everyone else. God made us all different for a reason.

 

[Cindy B]

********UPDATE************


I did go and talk to the teacher today.. I went into the school office to make an appointment with the counselor, and his teacher just happened to be free (the kids were in "specials")

As the one poster said, it is part of a perception issue. He perceived things as being said about him.

He is reading 6-7th grade books right now, so its not the academics involved. He does read the books, but thats all there is... remember the school only goes up to 5th grade. He does get to do things when he is done his work, but to him even the "special treats"/computer time/special assignments is even boring to him.. his level is about 2-3 grades ahead.




He needs to work on socialization skills, and he is going to be going to be doing a "friendship skills " sessions with the guidance counselor.


I did talk to the mom of the kid who gave the "poorhouse" comment today as well. That kid, my son, and two other boys are all feeling excluded and left out. That tell me two things:

1) Its not just my son.

2) There is a socialization problem with most of the boys.. there are 9 boys in the class, and four are saying the SAME thing...


If it is an attention problem, I'm fine with it. I just want it diagnosed or a solution.

The district has a really great reputation, and I can't afford private school. Home school is not for me, I don't have the patience and I know my limits. (I'd be frustrated by 9:30 in the morning)

I've done soccer with him, but he didn't like it. The local college is having a kids chemistry/science thing that may work for him.. I have to check registration dates.

 

[snoopy]

{{hugs}} to your sweetie pie. I really detest little kids who tease other little kids, I know that is not very mature of me to say that, but my boys know that if they are EVER deliberately cruel to another kid they will have to answer to me.

I agree with everyone who said he will make his way and find his niche in time. My son is in 2nd grade as well, my worries about him aren't that he doesn't socialize, its that all he wants to do is socialize. Its tough when you have one who wants to be everyone's buddy as well, believe it or not. These kids are all just learning to interact with one another, and the longer they are in school together, they usually find their way eventually.

I do think you have taken good steps to correcting or helping the problem. {{{hugs}}} to you, I am sorry you were so upset about this, I would have been too. Wish your son could meet my Luke, I bet Luke would really love him, he loves smart kids who like to read like he does.

 

[Towncrier]

Cindy - I'm sorry that I didn't see your post sooner. Your son is a joy to be around. I could tell that there was something special about him the moment that I we met. He seemed very mature for a 7yo. When you offered to take Sarah and I on a tour of Philadelphia, I never dreamed that your 7yo would fit in so well with Sarah and glo's daughter Cassie. He seemed more of their contemporary than someone who was nearly half their age.

When my son tested for our school system's gifted program the first time, he didn't make it. And it wasn't entirely his fault. My daughter constantly struggles with the kids in her class "hating" her because the classwork is so easy for her. It sounds like your son and my kids have a lot in common.

I apologize for not reading everyones comments, but my only advice to you is the make sure that you do whatever it takes to ensure that your son is challenged in school. Our daughter was blessed with elementary school teachers who pushed her to achieve more than her classmates. She was never bored in school. The trick is to keep the work challenging. In our school system, special education applies to all students, not just those who have learning disabilities.

I wish that I could tell your boy that it's OK to be smart. I went through a lot of grief in school too. And I was bored a lot. But things turned out OK. Perhaps we'll have that discussion the next time I'm in your neighborhood.

Hugs and prayers for you and your entire family Cindy.

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. It hurts us mommies so much when our babies are unhappy.

I sure hope your son is able to come to terms with school and stops feeling so unhappy. Other kids can be so mean.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Cindy B,
Sounds like you made some GREAT headway at the school today!!

I too would take these issues very seriously. I was a very bright kid... Not disruptive, but very smart. ( I did sometimes take advance placement classes ahead of my grade....) And, we WERE in the poorhouse! Anyhow, I know how that is!!! I can see how you your sons intelligence and fast-thinking translates in what could be seen as 'overbearing'. And I know how this can translate into social problems. If it is anything like me, your son 'knows what he knows!!' He is thinking so far ahead of the other kids, not just in academics, but in EVERY way. I never dumbed-myself-down on academic tests, but did feel like I had to dumb-myself-down to relate socially to the other kids! I really felt for you and your son when I read how he said he didn't want to be smart forever!!

the reason that I spent a lot of time alone was that it seemed like thankless work to try engage in the nonsense tit-for-tat social behavior (including the silly "stupid lives in the poorhouse" name calling that the other kids commonly engage in.

If I am on the correct assumptions here, ( Please forgive me if I am not!! ) it is not just "read a book if he finishes his assignment", or "Challenge his mind". You are doing really good to take a pro-active view of the situation! Improving your sons social situation will probably be the biggest most wonderful thing that could happen! If your son manages to make even one good friend at school, then he will not be 'alone' and that will make all the difference! ( I notice how you said that your child was not really 'alone' as much he felt that he is 'alone'. Is that maybe due to the lack of having one good friend to connect with? I do remember a 20/20 special about children-bullying-etc... in which the specialist said that if your child is that unhappy at school, and doesn't seem to have one friend, then that is the time to step in.... So, good work so far!

OHhhh I know how it hurts to see your child hurt!!! I really feel for you!!! More hugs!!! Remember- this too shall pass!

Hope this helps... feel free to PM me....

 

[AZKathy]

Cindy, I am so sorrry you and your son are going through this difficult time. I feel so bad when children are made fun of by other children; they can be so so very hurtful. {{{hugs!}}}

Since a private school is not an option, what about Karate lessons since he does not like soccer? Golf? Tennis? I don't know much about them, but are there charter schools around your area? I have some friends who take their children to charter schools...I honestly don't have much knowledge about them, and it may be a stupid idea....anyhoo...good luck and keep us updated!

 

[Mskanga]

Oh Cindy!! It's not easy to keep smart kids challenged, is it?? My DD is in the gifted program , she has been since last year and this year on top of everything she was sponsored to be a Peer Tutor, she wants to be a teacher and she's being encouraged in school big time.
As far as the boys feeling leftout for living in the poor house....I hate when kids do that to other kids , the guidance counselor should help them through this period and get to the root of the problem.
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} , things will get better!!

 

[Cindy B]

Thanks so much everyone.

I am grateful for all of your good comments.
My son has always been this way., he was always "older" than all the other kids, and fits in better with 11 - 12 year olds instead of 7-8 year olds.

So, for everything, Christmas gifts, birthdays, etc... I have to do things that are 2-3 years older in the age appropriate category.

Now I need to look for 6th grade appropriate books for my son... I mentioned the remainder of the Harry Potter series, and I got MOM, I ALREADY READ IT... (He has Socerers Stone). I mentioned that the others would be different, but then he said something like it would be basically all the same thing...

He loves books, puzzles, logic games, mazes, Legos, and computer games... notice those all mostly all solitary things.

 

[iLovDisney]

Let me preface this by saying: I was president of the math club in HS, 2 of my 3 kids are in the gifted program, and DH skipped 4th grade. So this is from a point of view that knows bright kids. I'm not trying to offend.

I think you need to be careful about letting him think that he knows more than everyone else... including adults. His comment about not wanting to read more than one Harry Potter makes it sound like he thinks they have nothing more to offer him.

It may be that he just doesn't like Harry Potter, but he has to begin empathizing with others, seeing their point of view, acknowledging that Harry Potter is delightful for some people. Some times kids get into the mindset: "If I don't like it, it shouldn't exist." I don't know if I'm explaining this well. My oldest DD was ranting about football this weekend. She thinks it is a dumb game... therefore... no one should play football.

School may always come easy for him. I didn't have to think in school until Algebra I. But it is very important for him to understand that all people are created differently -- and each person is loved equally by God.

Did you mention inviting someone over? He needs a classroom friend.

There are tons of books/websites about parenting bright, advanced children. You will also need to be proactive in finding classes/camps/activities.

Good Luck.

 

[Cindy B]

No, I'm not.. but I think he means with the Harry Potter, is that the story will essentially be the same... Harry Fights Evils, Harry wins, even though Evil puts up a good fight.


Thats how he is with the Star Wars movies/books as well.

Its not like it doesnt exist, its just the story will be essentially the same no matter what.

I essentially skipped a grade, and my Husband and I are both gifted (back in the day). Things are just so much more different than when we were in school in the 60'-80's.

I've been trying to invite kids from school. The moms are too busy overextending thier kids (Little Johnny has soccer, karate, and music, plus boy scouts...seriously!) I'm trying to get it together, so I may just get some kids from church together as well.

 

[ripleysmom]

Cindy, I'm glad that you seem to have made a lot of headway with the school.

It always hurts my heart to hear when children are picked on and I hope that the school is not only following up with the children who are doing the teasing but also following up with the children's parents to let them know that they should reinforce those lessons at home.

As the parent of 2 children who march to the their own drummer (actually more like they race full speed LOL), I've been there and done that.

Good Luck. Please remember that I am only a PM away.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Some very good thoughts here, Cindy, as you well know. Glad to hear of some progress. Nothing new for me to add, other than I my best wishes for him. {{Hugs}}