Has your tween ever had a meltdown...UGH

[MoniqueU]

I just can't get past the part of spanking a 12 year old. At that age talking to and taking things away is far more effective..

 

[Goofyzgurl]

Nope...dd at 15 or at any age has not thrown tantrums. She knows it's not acceptable. It's not a all or nothing discipline. If she did somethinjg that wasn't acceptable, then we nipped it in the bud right there, we didn't wait until it got big. You want to act crazy, and tear up your room, we can get crazy and take everything away, no door, no books, no phone, no nothing. It's unacceptable behavior no matter how much your foot hurts or doesn't hurt.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Wow, he cursed at AND hit his mother

My son is 17. I've never dealt with anything the OP posted about. As a matter of fact, I know very few people who have.

OP, you asked if our kids did that.

If you'd only wanted people whose 12 year olds were also having temper tantrums to chime in and say, "Oh, yeah, my kid does that, too", you should have said so.

My kids didn't because they knew better. "You don't get to rip the house apart because you didn't get your way" was something they learned young.

If they had pulled something like that at 12, I've had sent DH in there and he'd have put an immediate stop to it. If DH wasn't home, I'd have stopped it and sent him in later. There'd have been more than a spanking or a swat. The kid would not have finished having the tantrum.

It is my opinion that 12 is just ridiculously old for that stuff. If you and others believe that it isn't, that's your call. They're your kids. I'm not saying everyone should raise their kids the way I raise my mine.

But you ASKED.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

nevermind - after reading the rest of the posts from the OP and others - I'm stayin away!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry, but as long as he 'got your goat'..... he WON.

As long as it is a battle (about who is winning or losing...) HE wins....

I also just cannot begin to get over any physical smacking-spanking-whatever... of an almost teenaged boy. Treat a child like a toddler, and yep, they must might act like a toddler....

Would have been NO discussion and NO 'battle of the wills' at all with me.... I would have showed up at school, had him summoned to the office to be checked out, and straight off to the Dr....

In fact, he would have been off to the Dr. 24-36 hours after the problem became apparant.... It would never have gone this far.

Mystery Machine's comments have been spot-on!!!!

There are two ways to go here.... wail and whine and blame the child.... Or realize that there are two sides to the story, and take some responsibility as the adult/parent.

 

[rie'smom]

Some kids are more given to dramatics than others. If you don't have a drama kid, you don't understand what the OP means. I have 3 and 1 was all drama.
OP, you must understand that children of DIS members are born with a full set of beautiful teeth, a full head of the most gorgeous hair, have the highest of IQs, are the best students, get into the best schools, never talk back because they know better, and because their children are perfect, the parents get A+ 100s too! (ETA)
BTW, inlaws are the enemy.

 

[diskids2]

Some kids are more given to dramatics than others. If you don't have a drama kid, you don't understand what the OP means. I have 3 and 1 was all drama.
OP, you must understand that children of DIS members are born with a full set of beautiful teeth, a full head of the most gorgeous hair, have the highest of IQs, are the best students, get into the best schools, never talk back because they know better, and because their children are perfect, the parents get A+ 100s too! (ETA)
BTW, inlaws are the enemy.

I could not have said it better myself. OP, hang in there...sounds like you are handling the situation....best thing to do is "think before you punish" and then "stick to the punishment given". to you.

 

[mrs_hower726]

Some kids are more given to dramatics than others. If you don't have a drama kid, you don't understand what the OP means. I have 3 and 1 was all drama.
OP, you must understand that children of DIS members are born with a full set of beautiful teeth, a full head of the most gorgeous hair, have the highest of IQs, are the best students, get into the best schools, never talk back because they know better, and because their children are perfect, the parents get A+ 100s too! (ETA)
BTW, inlaws are the enemy.

OP, hang in there. Meltdowns still do happen in the teen years.

 

[mtomlin66]

I could not have said it better myself. OP, hang in there...sounds like you are handling the situation....best thing to do is "think before you punish" and then "stick to the punishment given". to you.

OP - I totally agree. DD 12 is a top student, actively involved in many community organizations and once or twice has had a meltdown when overly tired or stressed. Heck, there aren't many adults I know who haven't reacted to a situation and then had regrets afterward.

 

[Minnie]

Question OP - What discipline did your DS receive after his actions

 

["Got Disney"]

I just can't get past the part of spanking a 12 year old. At that age talking to and taking things away is far more effective..

Thanks to all the posters that understand or are supportive. You had courage to come into this shark pit.

yes you are correct. WE are against spanking and always have been. But at that moment he was starting to loose control and than he called me an A** (First time ever) and DH with an open hand smacked his butt...once. And not hard just to get his attention because words/talking were not working at this time. He wanted his way come hell or high water.

After he cooled down we all sat down and talked. We all apologize to each other and consequences were put down. He understands why things went the way they did and we talked about other ways to went his anger if he feels himself getting mad like this again.

 

["Got Disney"]

Question OP - What discipline did your DS receive after his actions

his punishment was stern but fair. One of being a huge party of 200 kids that he has been on the planning committee for. This party was a year in the making. A big ta do.

 

[mtomlin66]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";31844217]his punishment was stern but fair. One of being a huge party of 200 kids that he has been on the planning committee for. This party was a year in the making. A big ta do.[/QUOTE]

Again, coming from another tween parent I can see how this would be effective. Taking away something they REALLY want and value like the party, as well as I recall you mentioning also losing the computer for a week would make quite an impact with my DD.

 

[Minnie]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";31844217]his punishment was stern but fair. One of being a huge party of 200 kids that he has been on the planning committee for. This party was a year in the making. A big ta do.[/QUOTE]

The "stern but fair" comment is interesting as there has been disagreement as to whether this behavior was normal so I wonder if there would be disagreement on what is "stern but way"....

IMO - I would have taken everything out of his room. The destruction was beyond a simple "temper tantrun" he's 12 not 2.... He would have then earned back his items. That is "stern but fair" in my opinion.

The cuss word and slap would have additional consequences. The time to stop this behavior is now - per your comments this is not the first incident.

Best of luck. Raising kids is never easy.

 

["Got Disney"]

The "stern but fair" comment is interesting as there has been disagreement as to whether this behavior was normal so I wonder if there would be disagreement on what is "stern but way"....

IMO - I would have taken everything out of his room. The destruction was beyond a simple "temper tantrun" he's 12 not 2.... He would have then earned back his items. That is "stern but fair" in my opinion.

The cuss word and slap would have additional consequences. The time to stop this behavior is now - per your comments this is not the first incident.

Best of luck. Raising kids is never easy.

this was the 3rd for getting so mad....first for the rest. It was nipped in the bud.

But if it makes some of you posters happy I will just go and cut of his little finger.

 

[Minnie]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";31844752]this was the 3rd for getting so mad....first for the rest. It was nipped in the bud.

But if it makes some of you posters happy I will just go and cut of his little finger.[/QUOTE]

WTH????????? You asked for opinions - just because you don't agree doesn't mean posts like this are necessary! Wow just wow

 

["Got Disney"]

WTH????????? You asked for opinions - just because you don't agree doesn't mean posts like this are necessary! Wow just wow

I agree. But this is what some of the posters want in a matter of speaking. Nothing short of this will do and will never be enough.

They have not given me advice...just insults on how they would never let there kids do that...well i didn't let him do it it just happened.

I never asked for advice just asked if they have ever been in this situation. I don't need parenting advice and never asked for it. 3 times out of his life does not warrant sever discipline IMO. What one may think as fair is another persons opinion.

My boys are very well behaved and give back to there communities 7 fold....


unlike some of the wonderful children that would never as much as sneeze the wrong way....or else.....in here. He is 12 not 18......

I am very happy for all your perfect children.....I for one am glad mine is not.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

Locked at the OP's request