Happy happy happy! trip story from Feb 2012

[DizNee Luver]

Molly are you going to Disneyland in February & then WDW right after??? Just trying to get a grasp on things.....lol

 

[bumbershoot]

That is odd about your cousin. The timing and everything. The timing is just all wrong. Too bad.

It really is. Odd and bad timing.

Molly are you going to Disneyland in February & then WDW right after??? Just trying to get a grasp on things.....lol

Anaheim, then out to Universal East. Not even touching WDW this time. Silly us, had to upgrade to Universal APs then find ways to use them! Hey, at least the airfare east and west is covered by United miles....

What's crazy is that we'd originally imagined doing as cheap-a-cruise-as-we-could-get, on Royal Caribbean or Carnival, and also do Universal...nixed the cruise b/c we couldn't do those things AND go to Disneyland in the same year (stock money (knock wood) isn't endless after all). And here they are, cruising.

But since our first (and only, so far) cruise was a 7 day'er...to do 3 days just barely feels like anything. To us. In our minds. Probably wrong, it would probably be a GREAT first cruise for Eamon (well, while earthside and more than just a few rapidly dividing cells, that is, LOL...a friend of mine gave me/him a romper at my/Eamon's baby shower that had a ship theme, and she addressed it to my "stowaway", isn't that cute? little stinker that kept me from having my long-awaited rum drinks!), but Robert and I remain just a touch selfish, and want the longer one.

And a 7 day cruise on Disney is DEFINITELY unobtainable for us at this time, even if we wanted to go!

 

[kaoden39]

Carnival cruises are definitely the cheapest I have seen. Honestly though if I am going a cruise I would prefer a Disney cruise. I trust Disney to do it right.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm sure that's what the cousins are thinking, too! And I bet Disney does. But we had a good time on RCCL and they are so much less expensive.

Secret: didn't really want to book Carnival, LOL.

 

[kaoden39]

To me the Carnival line seems more geared towards younger people. RCCL seems like a very nice cruise line and if we were to go alone I truly believe that is the way we would go. Disney just does the guest thing so nice.

 

[bumbershoot]

The MIL wanted me to find her a different cardiologist, as her relatively new one is in Seattle and she got nervous about the drive.

BUT there's a vast swath of cardio guys I can't use, because there are restrictions from her. She will never step foot in a whole group of hospitals (nor will Robert and I) again, but those are the main hospitals in our town and hers. So if she chooses one in an easy drive from her home, she's getting one with privileges in that group, and they probably wouldn't be happy to have to get a Seattle hospital affiliation just for her. Also, it's great if they speak Korean, but at the very least they have to speak English without an accent, because it's SO hard for her to understand accents, and it CAN be hard for other "english as a second language" people to understand HER accent (caused HUGE problems the last time she was in the hospital and we all fear another situation like that happening again). But if she gets a Korean doctor, that can be problematic as she has already bullied her other Korean doctors to where they never even *suggest* anything other than what has already been suggested (she runs around with a 150 blood sugar level, at its lowest, because her first diagnosing doctor said that was OK and she won't listen to anyone else because the first guy died and they must honor him). They have to accept medicare 100%. Preferably a man.

Sigh.

So I'm making the ultimate sacrifice. I'll drive her to her Seattle appointments so that I don't have to piece this puzzle together to make it possible for her to get good, conservative, care without having to go to a "trigger" hospital.

(you just have no idea what beyond-cruddy "care" FIL received at the same hospital that I received horrid care...FIL died from their level of care (just one example: they forgot to give him antibiotics for TWO DAYS, when he was there because of a "blood infection"!), and none of us will even drive by the hospital if we can help it, and the hospital in her town is where the cruddy care started)


I hope she can keep her mouth shut about my weight, how DS needs a brother or sister so badly, about homeschooling, and about anything else she has been rude to me about in the past.

And hey, it'll get me and E up to Seattle every so often, and that's fun to have a good reason to play for a couple hours there!


I ought to check out Laurie's report, see if she's laid out the order in which we did things on the 8th, LOL. Then I can get on with the report.

 

[kaoden39]

I understand the importance of finding your MIL is a good cardiologist. But I think you are a much nicer woman than I am. My in-laws with the exception of my BIL have always treated me less than nice. I don't measure up to their excellence. I am not thin, I do not work, our kids are out spoken people that I allow to speak their minds, I could go on and on. I have never been good enough and Scotty just stopped tolerating it from them. He won't talk to them unless he is pushed into. I tried to keep a relationship going but as it were it just didn't workout.

Sorry. I just started to explain that I get it and got carried away. You and B will have a lot of fun and it will be good for you both to have these little trips.

 

[Happy 2 B Me]

Being the mother-in-law I know how hard it is to keep my thoughts to myself. I have a pain in the butt for a son-in-law LOL. But when ever I have asked for help he makes time to come help me or husband. When I was told I was dying and only had 3-4 days to live he took over for my daughter ( she was not taking the diagnosis well) He even put my hospital socks on for me and actually rubbed my feet LOL. He very seldoms asks my opinion -- he is one of those guys you just "hate"-- he can figure out so many things and on top of that he works at making life better for my grandkids and my daughter. I always tell him he is to good for my daughter LOL. I love her to death so he must be a pretty nice guy.

Michele You have a warm heart and a wonderful manner about you. It shows in your posts and in your trip reports. It is your In-laws loss. I am glad you spend time here. If you ever want a mother-in-law that thinks you are great I will apply for that job.

Bumper-- If my kidney dr. had not had me moved to OHSU from out town hospital I really would have died by end of week. They just gave up here . My surgeon had never had anyone survive with what was going on with me). Good thing is now he has, and like I mentioned to him from know on know people can survive. You are wonderful to help your mother-in-law out. When she gives her opinions just say ok I will think about it. You have addressed her opinion so that should take care of it.

I have been enjoying your photos along with Lauries. I think I have read all your trip reports starting I think when your son was 4 I think but not sure of age.

Patty

 

[kaoden39]

Patty, I would be honored. I am glad the dr was wrong.

 

[bumbershoot]

I see that Laurie is up to the breakfast on the 8th. Yay! I cannot wait to plagiarize the order of events from her! Until then, more blather.



Happy 2 B Me...

I'm glad the doctor was wrong, too!

IMO, the stuff with my MIL isn't the typical stuff.

(I just about got confused between Michele's MIL and Shannon's MIL...Shannon and I share similar cultural problems but I don't think that's what is behind Michele's problems! glad I remembered that before I posted)

MIL's heavy prejudice against me *starts* because I'm not a nice Korean girl like she wanted for her son (ignoring the fact that SHE married and had kids with a caucasian man b/c otherwise my mind twirls around trying to figure it all out).

My MIL...second time she met me she nearly screamed "how you get so fat? why you get so fat! I hardly recognize you!" Yeah, I'd gained maybe 10 pounds... Not atypical in the early stages of a relationship when you're dining out all the time.

She has told my husband that I had to get a job, that I was using him, that I was lazy. Meanwhile, she's held a job ONCE since she was married...and, quite frankly, the jobs she held before marriage, we're a little curious about, since I really only know of one job around a USO, during and after wartime, for local women, and it's not so legal. She was an at home mom except for one year, she always slept in until around 10, she had her older son feed her younger kids (9 years difference) so she could sleep, and for MOST of that time she also had a maid come in every couple days to make things spotless.

(by the way, the lazy thing has now swung around, because she realized that my budgeting has put DH in a better position than he was ever before, and we're now doing better than we were when we both worked and spent EVERY last dime)

The lazy thing kicked into high gear when I was pregnant and we moved from my BIL's place to another apartment. We'd asked a few people to help, because I couldn't do any lifting (I normally LOVE moving and doing all the lifting, but not while pregnant!). We knew we were moving well ahead of time, and some things had fallen off my radar. So there were dust bunnies and things like that visible while moving. My BIL's partner's nephew, a gossipy little so-and-so, went back to the MIL and told her about it, so I was definitely in the LAZY category. Um, yeah, moving? Going to clean the place thoroughly after it's all out? Clue, please.

She tried to make me cry on our first meeting. My husband told me afterwards that it was on purpose, to see if I was weak.

The first time she was allowed to watch DS, which was after he was old enough to know what she was feeding him, didn't go well. We're vegetarian, and she'd tried to sneak me chicken during our first meeting; she doesn't agree with our diet even though she's Buddhist and should be totally OK with it (by the way, she'll say in one breath that her monk is skinny because she doesn't eat meat, but if WE ate meat we'd be skinnier because our vegetarianism is making us fat), and DS also has other things he needs to avoid. So the food thing went just fine, but she invited another Korean friend over, didn't introduce him at all, and spent an hour visiting with her friend, speaking Korean (which she didn't teach my husband and her daughter, and won't teach our son despite us begging her to) exclusively. He was only 4 and it made him VERY sad.

Two years later DS consented to be watched by her again, and she spent the whole time quizzing him on what he knew. She demanded that he read the *captions* on the movie they were supposed to snuggle in and watch. Even my husband can't read fast enough to get the subtitles/captions. I read fast and can do it. DS is on the late side with reading, but so was his father, and captions are just an EVIL way to see if a 6 year old can read. She also quizzed him on math problems, but refused to let him use his fingers to help. She told him that homeschooling wasn't good before he went to sleep (thankfully his personality is stronger than mine or DH's, and he didn't take that as "you are a stupid child", but that MIL just doesn't like homeschooling and why doesn't she see how smart he is).

When we picked him up, she blasted into me (not DH, me) about how he needs to go to school, that we aren't teaching him anything, etc etc etc. That wasn't the first time, either. She asks if my brother knows that we are homeschooling, because somehow my YOUNGER, child-free, brother has a say in my son's education????? Sadly and happily, she backed off a *little* bit when she found out that my brother is actually in favor of it.

I've been with DH for over 10 years now, and could go on and on and on.

All through it, I've been there for her from afar and near. When FIL died, I made sure she got her widow Social Security check without any break (FIL got SS). I made sure the Union pension didn't have a gap either. I nearly spent a month there, with a 2 year old getting into everything, taking care of ALL of that for her. I changed car insurance companies so that we could all be with the same company to make it easier for her to ask me to help her. I have her insurance stuff sent to us because she couldn't figure out what they were saying. We now pay her Costco membership. We, along with BIL, sent her to Korea for a month to visit her sisters and brother. This was actually MY idea, because I felt sad for her being lonely without her husband (the reason for the move to the US 40+ years ago) and without any other family but her kids. She's now on our phone plan, and even though she gives us the extra amount (1/3 of what she was paying with her own plan), I'm saving it to give back to her when we send her to Korea again. We paid to fix her car recently. I find her doctors. I played interpreter with the heavily accented doctor and her, trying to figure out what on earth they were saying to each other, which was a huge pain with a then 5 year old around.

The sibling thing...until my son was 6, she was wholeheartedly AGAINST us having another child. Hated the very thought of it and talked about it often. And then it swung the other way, and she will not keep her mouth shut about it. She CRIES at the idea of him being all alone. Cries IN FRONT OF HIM about it.

And the thing is, we've been "trying" since DS was 9 months old. Found out some big health problems along the way that were messing with the "trying" but we didn't know until later (thank you doctors, for telling DH repeatedly that it was his weight causing the problems, and refusing to check things out). We've had nearly 7 years of "trying", with only maybe a year of it being even possible for us to have success, but we didn't know until it was already years of heartache gone, that those years had been impossible. (pituitary tumors really really suck) So her CRYING about it doesn't help one little bit. Especially since I'm 42 and the chances are low and the fears are creeping up, and the math gets scary...

She's made DH her POA/go-to-guy for her health, because we know what happened with FIL and know she doesn't want that. She can trust us because we're on the same page. So I know what is acceptable to her in a cardiologist, and I'd found one (after the first I found decided to move to CA all of a sudden), but then she got scared of the drive...so...gotta be the chauffeur.

If she'd just stop talking about how DS looks nothing like me (everyone disagrees) or DH (I disagree and MIL used to too), and that he looks exactly like my brother (he doesn't, not at all, except my brother is thin and so is DS, and I'm not, though I used to be), and this is her way of saying that I'm fat, yet again, I'd be able to handle it better. It's a theme she picks at Every Single Visit.

But when she's not blasting our decisions, she's decent *to DS*, though part of that decency involves making him her special white rice, and giving him Pocky, both of which are questionable treats given the blood sugar issues on her side of the family...


I've never been disrespectful to her. I've always either taken it or have gently tried to explain things. I've tried to embrace her culture, even wanting to including a Korean Buddhist ceremony and honeymoon in Korea, but she outright REFUSED to help with that, and we ended up dropping the idea. I included some Korean traditions in our ceremony, along with Celtic, and it was very cool. But it would have been cool to have her help with it (I realized down the road that she didn't actually know the traditions, since she married in a courthouse, and her siblings had simple weddings that she didn't attend, and her nieces and nephews have had Americanized weddings). I did have to stay away from her for a year or two, making excuses as to why I didn't visit. Otherwise I was going to explode, and figured distance was better than that. I do not think I have contributed in any way to the problems, apart from simply being who I am, which does not go along with her idea of who/what her daughter in law should be.

Her sisters, the two that have met me (along with one sister's daughter in law and her two children), meanwhile, LOVE me.





go Laurie, go Laurie, go Laurie, write write write!

 

[Brady's Mom]

Molly, I can't even imagine being that close to my MIL (distance wise), let alone having to drive her anywhere - talk about critical! My DH has tried to renew his relationship with his mother, but it has been one headache after another and one emotional barrage after another. He has now come to the conclusion that he will not have anything to do with her again (he didn't speak to her for 15 years). I am happy for him in some ways and sad for him in others. Glad because then he isn't being emotional abused anymore and sad since he will never have a loving mother in his life. It's too bad she is manipulative and selfish and mean.

It sounds like R's mom is pretty much the same way - so I really hope things go well for you. Maybe you need earplugs for the drive. And really thick skin. And - I hear you about the sibling nagging. My MIL tells me - after I have 4 great boys and the oldest is 23 - that I should still keep trying for a girl! Like I can really control that and getting pregnant was easy for me, sure, I'll just order me a girl when I go to the next drive-thru!! And DH is 52, he would much rather have a grand baby than a baby.

 

[Brady's Mom]

Okay, so on to the "regular" topic. When are you going to DLR in Feb. and are you staying DVC? We will be in the area starting Feb. 15-19. We are going out with our son and DIL for a celebration with her parents and will be in Santa Monica for a couple of days (15 and 16) and then we are going to the BW Stovall's Inn for a few days - one at Knott's (17) and then just hanging out on the 18th. We haven't decided whether to get our DLR AP's on the 18th and surprise the kids by going to DLR for a day or just wait until our regularly scheduled trip Mar. 5-11. (yeah, it really is just 3 weeks later.....)

We know it will be busy because of the holiday weekend, but thought we might try WOC and maybe a few other things. We wouldn't feel super compelled to do everything since we would be there again for 5 days in 3 weeks.

 

[kaoden39]

Molly, I am so sorry that you have had to deal with that.



Shannon, I am going to be in Anaheim with Scotty February 14-17.

 

[DizNee Luver]

I see that Laurie is up to the breakfast on the 8th. Yay! I cannot wait to plagiarize the order of events from her!

go Laurie, go Laurie, go Laurie, write write write!

Say What????!!!!!!

Ok, ok......I'm headed that way now!!!

 

[Brady's Mom]

Molly, I am so sorry that you have had to deal with that.



Shannon, I am going to be in Anaheim with Scotty February 14-17.

Michele, I would love to meet up with you for a few minutes and say HI.

It would have to be Fri. the 17th, though, since I won't be in Anaheim until that morning. If you can, it would be great, if it doesn't fit into your schedule, I understand that, too.

We're leaving Santa Monica early Friday morning so we can go to Knott's that day and we want to be there at opening. They open at 10 am, so we have plenty of time to make it. They close at 6 and we are having dinner with our DIL's parents that night, but I think we might be able to work something out if it works w/your schedule.

 

[kaoden39]

Shannon, that is the day we go home. So I think we will be gone by the time you are available. I would love to meet up though.

 

[Brady's Mom]

Shannon, that is the day we go home. So I think we will be gone by the time you are available. I would love to meet up though.

Oh Michele - that is such a bummer. I was thinking how fun it would be. We'll probably check into our hotel by about 9 am, but that might be pushing it for both of us. Bummer.

 

[kaoden39]

Oh Michele - that is such a bummer. I was thinking how fun it would be. We'll probably check into our hotel by about 9 am, but that might be pushing it for both of us. Bummer.

Shannon, I am kind of planning a shopping trip in DTD in the morning before we leave town. We could meet then. I am picking up some candy at Marceline's for my kids. Like they really need it.

 

[bumbershoot]

Hi!

And that's all that's on my mind, LOL.

 

[kaoden39]

Hi Molly!!