Ground rules for adult children coming back home

[suejai]

I see your point, but I disagree.

Ideally the child would learn to save while he's still, well . . . a child.

But if the adult child hasn't learned it, then the parent is right to help him along that path. Many people who reach adulthood without budgeting skills don't tend to pick them up until they reach a crisis -- it's kinder to help the child learn before he's about to lose his car, before his credit card is maxed out, and before he reaches crisis mode.

Many people don't save because they figure $50/week -- or whatever amount -- isn't much of anything, and there's no point in bothering. BUT if someone "forces" them to save for a couple months, and they suddenly see that they've saved more than $1000, and it was painless, THAT can be a turn-around moment. A moment that can encourage the adult child to begin saving on his own.

And what's the alternative to "forced saving"? Doing nothing and hoping that the adult child will figure it out? Nagging?

I think that you may have missed disykat's point. She is not arguing against making them save but rather against the idea of charging rent and the parent doing the saving and presenting that back to the child. The child at that point has learned nothing.

I think they should learn that they have to pay room and board and save as well. It is something neither DH nor I learned as children and are only just now coming to grips with; I can budget with the best of them when there is nothing, but when there is plenty I get into trouble. So unfortunately we never taught proper money management to our kids when they were younger. So we are all going to learn together

 

[disfan07]

I am 20 and I live at home because I go to community college.

The only things I pay for are extras like:
DVDs, Wii games, meals out (without my parents), movies with friends, etc.

I dont pay for clothes, gas, food, etc. My parents pay for all of that but I also am not working.

My circumstances are a little difderent though becaus eof health issues. I spend most of my time that I am not in class at th edoctors so a job is out o fthe question because most o fthe time I am not home nights and weekends when im not in school. I do babysit which goes into my savings account.

I admit though...I am extremely spoiled living at home. Besides my parents knowing where I'm going, i dont really have any rules.

But...I do my own laundry, I cook a lot of my own meals and meals for the family, I help take care of the dogs, etc.
Th eonly thing I dont relaly do is clean my room but its not a disaster so my parents dont really care s long as the rest o fthe house is clean.