Greek life - Pros and cons?

[LisaR]

I know Greek life can be a controversial subject.

I'm curious if anyone went to a school that had fraternities and sororities that did not have any kind of on or off campus housing? It seems to me like that would take away some of the stereotypical partying that Greek life is known for.
I guess I am just curious what one gets out of this type of system? It seems like it might be a bit more conducive to the original concept of Greek life?

My DD is weighing the options and won't make any decisions until she gets on campus and meets people. The biggest factor are the dues which seem pricey to me. She would be paying for the dues herself so she has to decide if it will be worth it.

I am always thinking about things long term (which isn't always a good thing). I am wondering how sorority life will benefit a person long after they have left school? Is there really more to it than the friend aspect? Not that friends aren't important, but there are cheaper ways to find friends!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

My perspective on Greek affiliations on a résumé - no one I know who was in a Fraternity or Sorority has had their Greek affiliation help their careers. And in my years of hiring for a Fortune 500 company, no one was ever hired, or even considered, because their Greek affiliation interested a hiring manager.

However, that is just one piece of the pie. There are probably a lot of other reasons to go Greek and I'm hoping someone else jumps in.

I will add, at my university Greek life was just as bad as high school with being a popularity contest. There were cool houses and geek houses. Many tears were shed when people didn't get bids to one of the top tier cool houses. And those in the cool houses did look down upon those in the uncool houses. This was less than 10 years ago. I'm thinking with all the bad press schools have since cracked down on the bullying between houses.

 

[castleview]

Pros - maybe you'll get a nicer room. The only other pro is for non-Greek students who have people to make fun of when the Greeks march in the homecoming parade chanting their chapter's name.

Cons - dated, unnecessary, drama, pricy, exhausting, requires sucking up, conformist…so much more.

 

[marcyinPA]

I went to a state university that did not have housing for Greeks. Typically, upperclassmen would move into apartments together off campus, and parties happened in those apartments. Believe me, just because there were no frat houses didn't mean there wasn't any partying going on...

I pledged Delta Zeta, but not until my junior year. My aunt was Delta Zeta, so I was a legacy. Turns out that I did not have the time or the patience to be a pledge, so I actually ended up quitting. I couldn't deal with the midnight wake-up calls and the ridiculousness. Not one of those girls gave me a second glance after I de-pledged. They walked right past me and ignored me- not that I expected a party or anything, but they were just not very nice. I am glad I didn't go through with it- and 23 years later, it is merely a blip on my radar! I still keep in touch with my non-Greek friends- the friends I met in my dorm when I lived on the 5th floor

Tell your daughter to look at the list of clubs and organizations at her school. Plenty of options out there, and several that probably WILL help her career.

 

[Viking Princess]

I went to a school with a dry campus that did not have any on or off campus housing -- and was in a national sorority. Instead, we had a lounge with couches, and a huge television.

If I could give any advice to your DD, I would tell her to go through recruitment (or "rush") to see if she connects with any of the girls. Absolute worst case scenario, she doesn't choose a house and doesn't have any regrets about it, but gets to make an informed decision. She'll make friends in her group of girls in recruitment.

Dues can be expensive, but they vary from sorority to sorority. Either she's going to make the decision that it's worth it, or it's not. I think they give opportunities to girls who haven't found a spot on campus, want a leadership position (either in philanthropy or in the chapter), or want a group of friends that last beyond graduation.

I graduated two years ago, and still talk to friends from my sorority (and see them) -- but no one from school otherwise. They had a strict no-hazing policy and I was spoiled rotten during my 'pledge' week. I was never forced to drink, or forced to go to parties (in fact, I only went to one all four years). I was encouraged to volunteer to help raise money for children with cancer, to step outside my comfort zone, and to talk to people that otherwise I wouldn't have spoken to.

It's certainly not for everyone, and it absolutely varies from school to school, but it can be a great experience. Feel free to PM if you have more questions.

 

[Cinderella94]

I'm a sophomore and just joined a sorority at my university this semester. I thought it would be fun to meet some more people. I'm also an RA on campus, so I don't go to any of the parties or anything like that. There is a zero tolerance hazing policy so that was not an issue at all. I plan to go to law school after graduation as well. I've made some good friends so far and it hasn't negatively effected me at all. It can definitely be different at each university but overall the experience can be what you make of it.

 

[WDW_Diane]

I know Greek life can be a controversial subject.

I'm curious if anyone went to a school that had fraternities and sororities that did not have any kind of on or off campus housing? It seems to me like that would take away some of the stereotypical partying that Greek life is known for.
I guess I am just curious what one gets out of this type of system? It seems like it might be a bit more conducive to the original concept of Greek life?

My DD is weighing the options and won't make any decisions until she gets on campus and meets people. The biggest factor are the dues which seem pricey to me. She would be paying for the dues herself so she has to decide if it will be worth it.

I am always thinking about things long term (which isn't always a good thing). I am wondering how sorority life will benefit a person long after they have left school? Is there really more to it than the friend aspect? Not that friends aren't important, but there are cheaper ways to find friends!

While I'm the mom and not the student, and our situation is a bit different regarding housing, my comment may still apply.

My daughter pledged a sorority at her college almost two years ago. She wanted to join not only for long term reasons, but also to have a group to belong to in college. In high school, she was in Pom, band, orchestra, and we think its important to have an official group to identify with.
All sororities definitely have their own identities, and your daughter should choose with her heart and mind. There are all types of girls in each house; parties, those who do not, religious ones, studious ones, etc. She will get a feel for it during Rush. I would say, let her go for it. You never get another chance later in life, this is it.
Good luck!

 

[karenos]

I attended (over 25 years ago) a small, private liberal arts college in New England where the sorority/fraternity systems had been recently abolished. At the time, it actually drove them underground (and unrecognized, if you were caught in a frat, you could get expelled). PM me if you want more details - it is still a topic of much discussion with some older alumni who did not agree with the banning. It also made for an interesting social scene on campus....

I have no idea how or if they (fraternities and sororities) exist on campus today in 2013.

karenos

 

[Disney2013Girl]

I was a Delta Gamma at a smaller campus without on campus housing. I went into greek life with the motto "I refuse to change myself to fit in" and as a result, went to the first night of rush dressed pretty much how I would dress on any given day. I had spent the whole day at the local zoo and while I wasn't a slob, I wasn't as polished as some of my counterparts. One sorority, it was obvious, didn't really find me that endearing.

When I walked into DG, I had two or three sisters right off the bat start talking to me about my sandals (TEVAS, baby) and we ended up talking a lot about my years at camp and my day at the zoo. It was just an obvious click that I didn't feel with the other sorority.

That being said, my experience was totally different than what you'd find at a much bigger school.

I enjoyed my time as a DG, but I did resign a few years later when who I was didn't line up with what was going on in my chapter. I regret resigning a smidgen, but at the same time, I'm not going to waste time and money supporting a cause I no longer felt that strongly about.

 

[swanmom]

One of the factors in our DD's decision to attend the college she chose was that there were no sororities. Having seen some of the sorority stunts in the news, DD has said: "Sororities are for girls who want college to be just like high school." In our experience, it has been the best decision. The lack of sororities means that from the start everyone has to work, play, and live together. Everyone is reaching out to others to make new friends. Everyone is in the same boat. Her friend 'pool' comes from the entire campus - not just a homogenous pre-selected group. When the pressure of joining a sorority is removed for all then everyone is exposed to all kinds of other students different interests, majors, backgrounds, cultures etc. - not just those that are enough like you that they will 'like' you. The argument is made that the sororities bring sisters who will be lifelong friends - well, that may be true. But so do the millions of other ways you can meet people in college and become lifelong friends - and they are much more likely to be from a broader spectrum of campus.

 

[TheAviator]

I would be leary from a parents stand point just from all the bad party stories, but it sounds fun from the students point of view, but I've always been under the impression it takes away from actual studying. Big distraction, but as someone else said it is what you make of it. I'm sure there have been tons of greeks that have done great at school and didn't let the partying get out of control. But I'm going to encourage a big ''no'' on that when the time comes for my daughter, but that's just me.

 

[LisaR]

Thanks! I have enjoyed reading the responses and will show them to DD tonight. This is 100% DD's decision. She asked my opinion and I really don't have one on this subject. I feel like every campus and every chapter will be totally different so it is really hard for me to have an emphatic yes or no. My only advice to her is that she goes into it with an open mind and see where that leads. Don't walk in thinking, "I MUST join a sorority" because I feel she could end up settling just to be in one. Go into it and see if one fits. If not, walk away.

 

[LisaR]

I would be leary from a parents stand point just from all the bad party stories, but it sounds fun from the students point of view, but I've always been under the impression it takes away from actual studying. Big distraction, but as someone else said it is what you make of it. I'm sure there have been tons of greeks that have done great at school and didn't let the partying get out of control. But I'm going to encourage a big ''no'' on that when the time comes for my daughter, but that's just me.

This is why I said I believe it varies based on the school. We toured schools where there were rows upon rows of Greek houses that were clearly recovering from the party the night before (trash all over the lawn, beer cans strewn along the sidewalks, guys lying on the porch looking like death warmed over). And we toured other schools where that wasn't the case at all. By the way, I noticed none of the school tours took us past Greek Row, or at least they didn't take us up close. We had to seek them out on our own.

At the school DD is attending, there aren't any houses. While I know that doesn't mean it is party free, there will always be parties to attend even if they aren't affiliated with Greek life. The lack of on and off campus housing puts the risk of party life at about the same as the rest of the campus, IMO. Greek life makes up less than 10% so there are still 90% of others who may or not be into the partying lifestyle.

I don't believe becoming a sorority member makes one become a party animal. DH was in a fraternity that was as geeky as they come. They did party, but it was nerd style (think The Big Bang Theory). He had to quit due to a lack of funds, but he enjoyed his time there. I did not belong to a sorority, but I spent a great deal of time at the frat parties and they weren't the geeky ones like DH belonged to! My experience and DH's were night and day.

 

[luvsJack]

Both of my sister's daughter were in a sorority. And it did, in fact, help them get their foot in the door for their respective careers. And each of them have many connections due to the sorority that have helped them in their careers later and with things like making huge donations to their kids' schools and such.

Now, dsis spent many, many dollars on formal dresses and all the trimmings for the 3-4 formals that were held every year. And both girls were elected as an officer and so they had to live in the dorm for that time---non-officers were not given this requirement and on the campus they attended sororities have sections of dorms, not houses like the fraternities. There were many parties with the fraternity that was the brother to their sorority, but they never had any issues or got into any trouble.

They both enjoyed their time in the sorority and still enjoy the get-togethers they have every year at the college's homecoming game and other times.

 

[BeckyEsq]

I was a member of a sorority during the 1990's at a small liberal arts college where I lived in a dorm, but the sorority just had a meeting space, not a house to live in.

These are some of the pros with 15 years of hindsight:

1) Opportunities for leadership. As a member of my sorority's executive council, I developed skills that are crucial to the business world. These included time management skills, delegation, the ability to verbalize my ideas in a group setting, responsibility, etc. Even before I joined the executive council as a junior, there were always committees you could join to contribute to different projects and events. This also helped me to overcome my inherent shyness which would have really held me back in my career as an adult.

2) Philanthropy: I believe all Panhellenic Greek organizations have official charities that they support. I did not go to a high school that required volunteer hours so this was my first introduction as a young adult to the importance of contributing my time and efforts to a good cause.

3) Sisterhood. I grew up with two brothers and always wanted a sister. I can honestly say that the women in my sorority became my sisters. Four of these women are still my best friends today, and have supported me through every step of my adult life. Studies have shown that people who are "joiners" and belong to some type of community organization are less prone to depression etc. There was a sense that you were accepted much like being in a family -- the way that home is where when you go there, they have to take you in, my sorority acted as that for me during my college years.

4) Team spirit: much like joining a sports team, Greek organizations provide an opportunity to bond with your "teammates" or sisters through various competitions (we had singing competitions, Greek Week athletic events such as flag football, synchronized swimming competitions, etc). I always had a sense of belonging and never felt isolated. I think in a world where students can now spend their lives locked in their rooms with their computers and end up feeling very alone this is even more important.

5) A life long network. As an alumna the opportunities to join alumni clubs exist all over the world. I try to make it back to my college campus for our sorority's Founders' Day each year. Some of this is old fashioned -- formal teas, lots of singing together -- but I enjoy these kinds of activities and they are much more "clean cut" than the stereotype that Greek Live often unjustly receives.

Granted, there was a lot of partying, and the things I have listed above can also be found elsewhere. But I found it incredibly rewarding and I would not change a thing about my Greek Life experience.

I hope that helps. It is not for everyone but if a young person is inclined to look into it I think there can be a lot of benefits.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Another thing you might want to make your DD aware of is that if the sorority she chooses has a "reputation", that reputation will tend to follow her even into her chosen career. Let us say that there is a certain sorority on the campus where I went to school which was known as the one with....ahem....loose women who liked to drink a lot. Whether or not this was true, this was the prejudicial impression that people would immediately have being introduced to someone of that sorority affiliation. I know this sorority also has the same reputation at some other colleges because I've heard people who went elsewhere make comments about it. This sorority has even come up in an unflattering light in conversations I've had at my law firm. I think it very possible that an HR director who knew the sorority's reputation might actually look down at an applicant with it on her resume.

Not that, of course, your DD would be interested in this particular sorority - which shall remain nameless to protect those who may be members. I'm just giving an example.

 

[tvguy]

I think waiting to get on campus is the best idea.

College campuses vary. My fraternity had it's own house, and one of the big draws was how much cheaper it was to live there than in the dorms, or even in an apartment. And that's after all the dues and party fees. But our University forbid students living in a fraternity until their Sophmore year.

At my daughter's college, the fraternities and sororities had no houses, so financially, it offered no advantage. And you could join first semester Freshman year. Her roommate joined, but quit after a year. It was nothing but an expense and added extra responsiblities.

 

[fae]

I don't have a lot of time to answer this, but I am a recent alumna of a national sorority on a campus without greek housing, so I probably have more direct personal experience regarding this topic than the average Dis poster. Feel free to PM me with direct questions.

1) I was never, ever hazed. We have a strict anti-hazing policy. I was in fact showered with gifts and food throughout my four years.
2) I was never forced to attend a party. I probably "go out" about equally as often as non-affiliated students, maybe even less.
3) My grades did not suffer. I graduated magna cum laude from a highly ranked private university and will be attending law school in the fall. Being in a sorority taught be better time management and study skills. Academics were very important to us.
4)That being said, being in a sorority is a big time commitment. There are meetings and events that you have to go to. Being an officer requires a bigger commitment.
5) I served as the Vice-President of Community Service and Philanthropy for two terms. This DID lead me to getting a job offer in a field I was interested in. I also had the opportunity to raise thousands of dollars for a cause that is near and dear to my heart.
6) My best friends and future bridesmaids are my sisters. We have a bond that is hard to explain and I love them all dearly. I'm even going to WDW with one of my sisters in two weeks. Greek life gave me a home on a large campus where I otherwise could have been lost in the crowd.
7) There is drama and fights but what else can you expect when 100+ women (that was the size of my chapter) have to interact and govern themselves. Sometimes we fought about stupid things like tablecloth colors or what to have for dessert at formal. To me, it was part of growing up.
8) I am now much better at networking. I have learned how to work a room, how to connect with people I've never met, and how to be a gracious host. I've found this skills to be invaluable in my career/academic pursuits.

That's all I have time for, but again, if you have specific questions, please PM me.

 

[MrsPete]

No real advice on whether to join a sorority or not, but I will throw out this piece of advice:

Not all colleges have equal opportunity for Greek Life. The college I attended was less than 10% Greek, so NOT being a member was the norm. In contrast, I know that at some other schools "everyone" (okay, we all know that "everyone's doing it" is never the truth, but you know where I'm going with this) is into Greek Life, and those who aren't part of some group are kind of social misfits. As such, I'd suggest that she try to determine NOW which way she's leaning . . . and consider the Greek Life atmosphere of the schools she's considering. Yes, academics are #1 when it comes to choosing your college, but you also have to be happy on a personal level.

Keep in mind that most of the "pros" of the sororities can be achieved through other means during the college years: Campuses provide plenty of opportunities for leadership, lifelong friends can be made in the dorms, etc., etc., etc.

 

[tcufrog]

I attended a large liberal arts university with a strong Greek heritage. The main Greek fraternities and sororities have houses. New ones have been added recently to keep up with demand. I thought about rushing but ended up joining a coed International service fraternity named Alpha Phi Omega. We had the trappings of a traditional fraternity or sorority (rush parties, big brothers, pledging, secret handshake, Greek letters, etc.) without the house, high cost or hazing. If you made it through pledging you were inducted. You could only be excluded if you broke the bylaws. We partied hard and did tons of community service. Even though we were much smaller than the Panhellenic groups we always won the university service award for most service hours. One semester I did more than 90 service hours and I was only in second place in the fraternity service hours competition.

It was a great experience. I have great memories, made some awesome friends and even met my husband. He was one of my fraternity brothers.

I have no regret that I didn't pledge a traditional sorority.