Got any CLEAN jokes I can tell my kids?

[RNMOM]

Here's one of my kid's fav's..

How can you tell which end of an earthworm is it's head?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

And another...

When can the horse get out of the hospital?

When he is in stable condition!

 

[nemo1987]

there are two peanuts that are almost the same. but how are they different? one was a-salt-ed. i dont know if you get it but i made me laugh soooo hard!!
**Sarah**

 

[ElizK]

Courtesy of DD when she was 6 (now nearly 9):

How did the piece of gum cross the road?

It stuck to the bottom of the chicken's foot.

 

[jfulcer]

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange Who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

 

[cgcw]

DS9's favorite a couple of years ago

Why is 6 afraid of 7??

Because 7,8,9!!

 

[Skywalker]

Oh, I forgot about Knock Knock jokes...I know one!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hutch.
Hutch Who?
Bless you !!

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

What kind of panties do clouds wear?

Thunderwear!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY GUTS!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Knock, Knock
Who's There?
Boo
Boo Who?
Well you don't have to cry about it!!!

 

[stacilee]

Knock knock.

who's there?

spell.

spell who?


W - H - O......

 

[BedKnobbery2]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sue.
Sue Who?
Don't ask me, I'm not your lawyer.

*********

This one is a family favorite. It is best delivered after a bout of joke-telling around the table.

Ask me if I'm a fire engine.
Are you a fire engine?
No!

 

[tkd lisa]

The famous black and white jokes

What's black and white and red all over?

Answers:
1) a zebra with diaper rash
2) a newspaper

This one is borderline clean, but DS got it at boy scouts.

There were three friends walking on the top of a hill. A genie appeared and told them that they could all have one wish. They had to jump off the cliff and yell their one desire, and he would make it appear at the bottom of the cliff. The first one ran and jumped off yelling "bags of gold!" And there were many bags of gold at the bottom of the cliff. The second one ran and jumped off yelling "sparkling jewels!" And there were piles of jewels at the bottom. The third one ran forward thinking to himself, "piles of money". But just as he was ready to jump, tripped over a rock and fell off the cliff yelling "oh, poop!"