Going with the In-Laws..tell me it'll be OK

[michvin]

So, we the disney holics that we are, are going to Disney again, in January. Using our DVC for the first time...really excited about that. And, we are taking my dh's parents with us. So, the reason we are taking them is so that our three children can "experience disney" with their grandparents.

Now, just some info on the grandparents. They are young, I think, for grandparents...55. My dh and I are early 30's and in pretty decent physical shape...work our, eat right, etc. Basically, we can do a 15 hour day in one park and keep going. Now, my in laws have physical issues, some due to thier own behavior, some not. My MIL is disabled from a back injury at work 10 years ago. She is on work comp and SS. She takes lots of meds but WILL NOT rent a 'buggy'. We told her we would pay for the buggy so that she could get around easier and have some fun with the kids.

My FIL...type 2 diabetic, high bp, cholesterol, just over 300lbs. Took early retirement to help with MIL. Stubborn and sometimes a bit selfish with wanting everything to go "his way". Must eat this time, this food, etc. Has not, for the past 2 years done much for the diabetes except take insulin. Eats horribly. Gets testy if we suggest he exercise, eat better, etc. He would probably rent a buggy out of sheer laziness as opposed to need. Now the positives...They are the grandparents. My children LOVE them. We WANT this to be a special time for the kids. REALLY, REALLY want them to have fun with the kids. Just worried there will be , "no, we can't or its time for dinner (3:30...)" and then there is always other various dramatic issues.

We want them to TRY to go a bit beyond their normal routine and comfort level (obviously not disability wise..hence, the buggy") and try some new things for the kids ( I mean, they often go to be by 7...yes, they are only 55!). Be a bit spontaneous... my fil has already told me what times he has to eat...and I tried to explain if the kids are doing good and having a great time, sometimes we just have a snack or ice cream and do something else. He's like, "NO, NO, you have to make them sit down and eat a meal"...anyway, I am trying to be positive. We are making this a simple as possible for them. Got the plane tix up front so he can "have space and breathe" . Made ADR's, planned park days. etc. They are paying for their passes and meal plan, which I didn't want to get as we have the DVC but he kept saying, "oh, gotta have the meal plan" and we are covering everything else.

So, someone tell me that traveling with the family will be okay cause its Disney. We are staying at OKW so I know we will have enough space to spead out. I don't want to be tense at Disney. My husband thinks its only a matter of time before his dad has a massive heart attack or something..I know its sounds bad, but he is really living on borrowed time, hence why we are taking them to disney.

Just any tips or positive advice would be helpful. Right now my plan is to keep my mouth shut and guide them gently. If they can't/won't/don't want to do/eat what we are doing we can split up. We've tried to tell them that this is okay. They have their own key. so, that's it. Hoping for the best.

 

[bedgraynexl]

I think for your own sanity you might want a day or two away from them, that way they can explore disney on their own too and "not have to do everything the kids want to." Plus with them wanting to be in bed early you will have the evenings free, or they can watch the kids while the adults go out.

Just make the best of it and be willing to roll with the punches.

Good luck and have a great trip

 

[DisneyDadof3]

You have to explain that the trip is about the kids and not them.... so although you will be making the ultimate decisions, you will be guided by what the kids want to do and how they are doing. There is no reason why they can't eat or take breaks while the kids keep going and then meet back up.

 

[pbharris4]

You are going to have to keep an open mind and like the other poster said..roll with the punches.

They aren't physically capable of doing what you and the kids can do. They may have a different vacationing style. Being a diabetic he probably does have to eat at certain times because of his blood sugar level.

Let's face it..vacation is everyone's time to relax, do what they want to do, etc. Your going to want what you want and they will want what they want. Sometimes you'll want the same things. If you really want this trip to be for the kids and their grandparents because they are living on borrowed time then you have to let it be about them. You'll have other Disney trips, they may not. If you don't compromise you'll end up having a miserable time. I've been there and while our vacation turned out OK, it wasn't the best either. We usually only get 1 vacation a year and I want to spend it the way I want so we don't invite too much anymore.

We've vacationed a few times with inlaws (mine and his) and personally, I wouldn't do it again unless we had seperate rooms a few halls away from each other and met up a few times.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

When we travel with multiple groups together, we bring walky-talkies or cell phones and frequently split up. So if they want to eat early, tell them that's OK and that you'll catch up with them in about 2 hours.

We've found that too much or too little togetherness isn't good. Keep the flexibility of spending some time together and some time apart and you'll all be much happier.

 

[LISAVWL]

We've vacationed with both set of in laws and my kids loved it! I would never vacation with my Mom again but the vacation with DH parents was great! We found that a little bit of space made everyone feel much better. You don't spend 24/7 together at home -- why would you on vacation? Plan on being flexible and explain to MIL & FIL that if they would like to rest/eat/shop and you are not ready you can meet up after, no harm done. I think if you all go with the right mind set and expectations, things will be much easier and you will all have a wonderful time. Stress the importance of the kids having a good time, that's what it's all about, right?! Good Luck!

 

[dana1003]

we're bringing our parents along also and they dont know it but we have a schedule all set for what our kids want to see...never asking them(parents)..oops! well its for the kids first so i hope they understand their requests and even ours come after what the kids want to do. i think we'll have a great time ..in gives all the adults a break in a way because the kids can take turns with each of us all day..

 

[starwood]

Bring walkie talkies. This way when you split up it will be easier to find each other. I've done Disney World and Disneyland with both Grandmas. Both have mobility problems and we let them go at their pace and if they got tired we sat them somewhere and came back for them later.

 

[michvin]

I feel that my husband is going to have to have a "talk" with them about the vacationing plan. My FIL has already said something to the effect of "well, its a family vacation so the family should be together the whole time"...yes, just shoot me now. The funny thing is this was my idea

I have no issue with us splitting up with them, its they who want to stay attached at the hip. I don't want my MIL to feel she is putting anyone out...I really hope they have no issue splitting up some days...for everyone's sake.

I made our ressies together, so we have one meal together every day. I'm planning on having breakfast in the villa (which I've already herard "why are you making breakfast when you are on vacation") And he IS a diabetic but will have no problem getting a croissant or pastry for breakfast!!! Hence the borrowed time....

Thank you for your vote of support...I think it will be a nice vacation for the kids as long as me and DH can keep from bickering with them

 

[Lauralee131]

Good luck!! If you've seen my Trip Report "Our Magically Dysfunctional Gathering", you'll know why I'm saying good luck...

Hopefully your vacation will go a lot better than ours!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

Thank you for your vote of support...I think it will be a nice vacation for the kids as long as me and DH can keep from bickering with them

I think you need to say just that to them. Let them know (fil) that the meal thing will be once a day and that for the rest of the time if the kids want to eat ice cream bars while doing hand stands that it will be your call to make. Of course say this in the sweetest way possible .
Good luck, I cant WAIT to hear about this one, im sure the kids and the grands will apperciate the time together.

 

[Gillian]

And he IS a diabetic but will have no problem getting a croissant or pastry for breakfast!!!

Well, actually, that's exactly what he should NOT be eating for breakfast. I don't know that much about current diabetes management stuff, but straight carbs for a meal is not a good idea, especially sugary ones. Cooking in the villa is great, but expect that it will have to be something other than a grab n go.

The only thing you've mentioned that you may need to rethink is the meal situation. Diabetics need to eat meals, real meals, not ice cream, at certain times or they can crash badly. Since he's on insulin, that can make it even more important to eat at certain times (& certain foods). you'll have a kitchen so you/he/they can pack the kind of snacks he'll need. The soft sided cooler is your friend.

Because you go fairly often, consider just going along with the grandparents this time, and make the next trip more about your family. If it were a once in a lifetime trip, it would be different.

I'd plan it this way
-good breakfast in the villa, even if it means cooking eggs. saves time but still keeps everyone healthy
-morning touring as a group, perhaps with a nutritious snack break
-lunch, counter service seems like a good comprimise
-reevaluate current energy levels, perhaps the in laws want to visit the pool or go shopping?
-meet up for an early dinner
-inlaw go to sleep while your family goes back out again

We've travelled with my mom, who is also young but has some health issues, and she if often done touring by early afternoon.

It's a lot of fun going with the extended family. We try to plan things apart, but if they don't want to, save it for your next visit.

 

[Gillian]

If your FIL is saying the kids have to eat at certain times, obviously they don't, but if it's because he has to eat then, he probably does.

GOod luck!

 

[bcvprincesses]

All I have to say is GOOD LUCK. Been there, done that and now they always want to come with us. I hope you have a great trip. Sometimes you just need to go your seperate ways for a while and take some time with just the kids. Cell phones are really good to keep in touch when you are apart. I really hope you have fun.

 

[wrldpossibility]

Well, actually, that's exactly what he should NOT be eating for breakfast. I don't know that much about current diabetes management stuff, but straight carbs for a meal is not a good idea, especially sugary ones. Cooking in the villa is great, but expect that it will have to be something other than a grab n go.

The only thing you've mentioned that you may need to rethink is the meal situation. Diabetics need to eat meals, real meals, not ice cream, at certain times or they can crash badly. Since he's on insulin, that can make it even more important to eat at certain times (& certain foods). you'll have a kitchen so you/he/they can pack the kind of snacks he'll need. The soft sided cooler is your friend.

Because you go fairly often, consider just going along with the grandparents this time, and make the next trip more about your family. If it were a once in a lifetime trip, it would be different.

I'd plan it this way
-good breakfast in the villa, even if it means cooking eggs. saves time but still keeps everyone healthy
-morning touring as a group, perhaps with a nutritious snack break
-lunch, counter service seems like a good comprimise
-reevaluate current energy levels, perhaps the in laws want to visit the pool or go shopping?
-meet up for an early dinner
-inlaw go to sleep while your family goes back out again

We've travelled with my mom, who is also young but has some health issues, and she if often done touring by early afternoon.

It's a lot of fun going with the extended family. We try to plan things apart, but if they don't want to, save it for your next visit.

I think the OP agrees with you: it was a sarcastic remark, that the DFIL SHOULD have something healthy, but instead eats a sweet carb.

I think you're schedule is a good one for the OP to follow. We're going with my parents in a few days, and we had a family meeting where I went over the itinerary. Then my parents could note the times they potentially want to split off and rest or do something else. Try to build that in in a matter of fact way. With no breaks from each other, you'll go nuts sticking to their schedule (we're physically fit and active too, and it would make me go crazy for the kids to miss things because my inlaws needed to rest and made us rest too!).