Going away without kids

[huey duey & luey]

Does/has anyone gone away without their kids? My friend just called to tell me that she and dh are going to aruba and asked if we wanted to go. Do I WANT to go, of course. Will I go? probably not. For those who have gone away did you have a good time or did you just worry the whole time. Im afraid that Ill spend all this monwy and be miserable. I dont know Im so confused, Any words of advice? Thanks
Tara

 

[sue1013]

You should go you'll have a great time. I think its important for parents to have time without the kids. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our families we forget about us as a couple. And if that doesn't stay strong the family won't either.

 

[jel0511]

We've gone away twice without the kids and leave for our third trip on Tuesday!!! I do miss them, but it's great for me and DH to be "childless" for a few days. We get to come and go as we please and get to be together just the two of us. We usually try to get away every year or so alone for a few days. Luckily we have both sets of grandparents to leave the children with, and the grandparents love it!!

 

[CamColt]

I agree...GO!

We have only done it once, but it was wonderful! We went to WDW for one day and night and then on the 3 night cruise. It was the best vacation...a REAL vacation for me. We knew the kids were in good hands with family at home so we really didnt worry.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

We have done it twice. It was much easier the second time. Both times, we called each evening to talk with the girls. Our oldest (5 now, but 4 at the time) went to visit her grandparents without us for a week last summer.

If you have family/friends who will take your kids for the time in question, I say go for it!

 

[ZachnElli]

We go somewhere without the kids at least once a year, lately it's been twice a year. And we leave for Vegas (kid free!) on Tuesday!! We've always had great times, but we do call the kids about twice a day. We figure the kids won't live with us forever and we need to stay connected!

 

[binny]

Ive been away for one night and am about to go for 8 Im scared but I know I have covered all my bases with my mom staying here and friends watching over.. my neighbours are all on alert too.


I think theyll have a blast with nana and appreciate me when I get back

 

[jel0511]

Originally posted by ZachnElli
We go somewhere without the kids at least once a year, lately it's been twice a year. And we leave for Vegas (kid free!) on Tuesday!! We've always had great times, but we do call the kids about twice a day. We figure the kids won't live with us forever and we need to stay connected!

That's where we're going too, and we arrive on Tuesday too!!! We'll be at Bellagio, where are you staying?

 

[AMClvsMKY]

We went away kid-free for the first time 2 years ago and we are doing it again next month. My mom is coming to stay with them at our house so we know they will be fine.

 

[cgcw]

Nope, never, and I don't see it ever happening.

But we are in a situation where we do not have grandparents or family who are able to stay with the kids or care for them. I think this makes a big difference. Things may have been different if we did. I have no regrets but time with just DH is precious time.

We are going to WDW in May and attending the DVC members homecoming -- without the kids. They'll either be at the cubs den or with fairy godmothers. It's going to be very strange BUT we are looking forward to experiencing WDW without the kids.

 

[minniecarousel]

YUP - if you have someone to watch them, GO! We went to Hawaii when our youngest was in kindergarten - he gave one of my sisters a hard time ("you're not my mom - you can't tell me what to do!") But otherwise, they did fine. As a mom with grown kids, I say go if you can - we went away for many weekend trips. When they got older, we left them at a friend's house for the weekend. It's tougher when they're older teenagers. They don't want "Grandma" or "Auntie" staying at the house with them, and you don't want to leave them alone (you may trust them, but as soon as the word gets out that their parents aren't home, they become a magnet for a party!)

 

[ZachnElli]

Originally posted by jel0511
That's where we're going too, and we arrive on Tuesday too!!! We'll be at Bellagio, where are you staying?

We are staying at the Bellagio too! Hmmm, are you part of a group having a "marketing meeting"????

 

[jel0511]

No, no meetings here, but I can't wait!! We have dinner ressies for Prime on Tuesday!! I can't wait to see the Monet Exibit at the Art Gallery, he is probably my favorite painter!!! Maybe I'll see you around the casino!!!!

 

[msdznyduck]

I agree...........GO. You need to have some time alone with DH.

We go to Lake George every fall for a long weekend for our anniversary---Have done it every year and we will be married for 19 yrs this Oct. Kids are now almost 14 and 16, and my wonderful MIL (and I really mean it !!--I am blessed, I know) takes the kids for the weekend and loves to have them around. Now that they are getting older, they don't spend as much time with her as she'd like, so this is her big weekend to do lunch, a movie, dinner, etc. (and spend time at home doing puzzles, playing games, etc) It's good for everyone all the way around.

Elaine

 

[Kallison]

yep, go they will survive and be better for it. We didn't go away without kids until they were older. Now oldest is 13 and DH and I try to go at least once for a long weekend. I usually go with him to conferences. We did Disney in October for food and wine. Never thought I could do it w/o kids, it was great!! Took them in August. I called it the Wine whithout the whine tour. You need to connect together so when they are teens you don't look at each other and go "who the heck are you?" Have fun.

P.S. Don't post this on the Family Board where you will get a 101 righteous Mom going - I NEVER, EVER will leave my child and will continue to breast feed them until they are 18.

 

[Kermit]

If you don't want to go, don't go. Just as people shouldn't make you feel bad if you do decide to go, there's nothing wrong with wanting to stay with your children when they're little.

By the way, you may want to disregard my opinion because I do breastfeed my toddler. We're looking into local colleges in case he doesn't decide to wean before he graduates.

 

[onecoolmama]

I have gone to Disney without the kids! We love our getaways without them. They give us a renewed sense of togetherness. And apparently we in the NE need that LOL!

I'll tell you too, for us, we always seem to come back with a new focus. For example, we went to the beach for a week. While we were away and had time to talk, think, rreflect..DH realized that he hated what he was doing and needed a change. Another time we talked, reflected, and realized we need to move out of the area and change things up.

I think you can get sooo caught up in the rat race of everyday and even when you are away...you are so focused on the kids that you really dont get a chance to renew your love, life, and sense of self. We are very fortuante that my mom will bend over backwards to get her hands on the kids whenever possible.

Go, enjoy your time together. Reflect, Relax and Renew yourselves. You'll come back be better parents then when you left!

 

[skiwee1]

We try to go away without the kids once a month! It doesn't always work out that way but we definitely go away once every two months. It is usually just an overnighter or two at the most but it sure it nice! Twice a year or so we go on a longer trip that lasts anywhere from 4-6 days. We went to NYC after Thanksgiving and are going again in March. We are lucky in that my mom lives nearby and loves to come over and watch the kids. We are planning a cruise for 7 days but are waiting until the 4 y/o is in 1st grade as to not put too much on my mom. That break while she is in school will be nice for her. I say if you want to go then go for it. Certainly don't feel guilty for wanting time away from the kids. It can be healthy to get away with your spouse and just enjoy each other without having to worry about entertaining the kids too.

 

[kaseyC]

We will be going on our first trip without our kids. My mom is flying out from MD to stay with the girls for the 8 days we will be gone. So they will be in great hands. My DH and I are really looking forward to the cruise. We have booked some real adult -type active excursions. We are going a day early to do a little sightseeing in Seattle. Like others have said I think it can be healthy for a couple to spend sometime alone.

We will constantly be in touch with our DDs by email and cell phone.

 

[winniedapooh]

We have 5 DCherubs and went away alone for the 1st. time in 11/01, when oldest was 12-wow talk about stress leaving after 9/11. I wanted to cancel so bad but DH would not let me. We had never gone away alone and after so many years of school and grad school begininng he really wanted this for us. It was the best thing we had ever done and we even went for repeats in 2002 and 2003. We take our kids to the beach several times a year and on family day trips but this is something special we need for us. We even have date nights, out to eat at a reasonable restaurant, once a month. We need it and the kids need it. They have seen that Mom and Dad need time alone to talk and be adults and that we do not love them any less we are less stressed out and feel we can handle the little things better. We have a sitter from church, our in-laws, or a friend that watch them. When we go away for those 5 days though it is in-laws or very good trusting friend who comes to stay. As others have said they have the cell and can call us at anytime and vice-versa.