Go Fund Me for College Fund?

[5kidsmommy]

I don't like Go Fund Me accounts and I do have a high school freshman. We hosted a BBQ at our home when he graduated, it wasn't about money, it was about having a party and saying good bye, they are very popular here. Sure he made some money but that was from relatives who would have given him money anyhow.

As far as a GoFundMe account I would have been mortified. He also would have been mortified. But he choose an inexpensive state college and actually received a full tuition academic scholarship and took a work/study grant for living expenses. It is possible to not go into debt but a lot of kids today think they are entitled to a private college for nothing. It's frustrating. And GoFundMe are just an extension of that entitlement generation. Although I also know adults on Facebook that post gofundme's all the time and unless they are dying (or have a legitimate need0 I end up deleting them because I choose not to have beggars in my life.

In the past when we've needed extra money my husband has picked up a second job, I just don't like asking for help.

 

[gwynne]

Never said it was easy. Never said it wasn't hard. But it IS possible!

Sure...If you take a course here and there, until you're 24...or join the military, or get married, or have a baby. Yup. None of those are "easy".

 

[jrmasm]

It is my experience that those that are bothered and offended by these things are people that are more bothered by what other people think of them. It is the people that are worried that if they don't give to everything that asks that they will either be seen as being cheap or that they don't have enough money themselves and that bothers them.

Lol!

Right because online etiquette experts are always right about everything. If the poster says that is how it's been done in their experience why would anyone tall them they are wrong?

Etiquette experts say they are wrong.

 

[Colleen27]

Ever seen the jars set up asking for change to fund a school trip? Bought a candy bar from a band kid? Or expensive wrapping paper? Or some silly gadget from a catalog some school group sends around? Same thing.

I think there's a difference, though we're selective about which sales fundraisers we let the kids participate in as well. In one case, the student is selling a product. S/he is talking to people, explaining what s/he is fundraising for, and actively engaged in the process. They're working for what they want, even if it is in a way I sometimes disagree with (we opt out of the overpriced-crap fundraising because to me that's just guilt tripping people into wasting money; we do the sales that have some value, like community discount cards, and Girl Scout cookies just because our friends/neighbors ask after those). Go Fund Me, on the other hand, is just begging from your computer/smartphone - no interpersonal skills, communication, or effort required.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

Very true. Plus, I can definitely see sending the info in invites for out of town guests especially.

Every area is different and customs in that particular area may change over time. What is seen as bad manners in one place isn't at all in another. Just like the whole "cover your plate" think for wedding gifts. I never heard of such a thing before the DIS, but in some areas, it would be unheard of not to do this.

Ok, you've got me curious... What's "cover your plate"?

 

[Colleen27]

Ok, you've got me curious... What's "cover your plate"?

The rule of thumb that the gift you give should be worth more than the cost the bridal couple is incurring for inviting you to their event, ie if the reception is in a $50/plate hall a couple should give a gift worth $100+. I'd never heard of it either until the DIS.

 

[luvsJack]

I think there's a difference, though we're selective about which sales fundraisers we let the kids participate in as well. In one case, the student is selling a product. S/he is talking to people, explaining what s/he is fundraising for, and actively engaged in the process. They're working for what they want, even if it is in a way I sometimes disagree with (we opt out of the overpriced-crap fundraising because to me that's just guilt tripping people into wasting money; we do the sales that have some value, like community discount cards, and Girl Scout cookies just because our friends/neighbors ask after those). Go Fund Me, on the other hand, is just begging from your computer/smartphone - no interpersonal skills, communication, or effort required.

While I do understand what you are saying, I think that one has to realize that not everyone has the luxury of picking and choosing. which fundraisers to do and which not to do and the kid still get to participate. You allow your child to participate in some and pay for whatever she doesn't raise. Some people have to raise all of it.

If suddenly next year, it was said that we need to start a GFM account to raise money for our choir kids to go on their trip, I would most likely pay for dd's trip but would have no issue with those that did set up the account because its the only way for their kid to go.

I have never done GFM but see it as no different than the jars that sit at the register of the local store. Or the donation tables that set up in front of Walmart. There really isn't a lot of interaction going on with either.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

The rule of thumb that the gift you give should be worth more than the cost the bridal couple is incurring for inviting you to their event, ie if the reception is in a $50/plate hall a couple should give a gift worth $100+. I'd never heard of it either until the DIS.

Me either... How would a guest know how much their "plate" cost?

 

[Laura66]

Sure...If you take a course here and there, until you're 24...or join the military, or get married, or have a baby. Yup. None of those are "easy".

I'm not sure what you're saying here.
What exactly is wrong with the first 2 examples?

 

[luvsJack]

I'm not sure what you're saying here.
What exactly is wrong with the first 2 examples?

Waiting until age 24 isn't always possible. I have seen kids that are out of their parent's homes (not by choice) at 18 and can't get financial aid and working at McD's which won't pay rent. 18-24 is a long time when you aren't making enough money to live on. Besides, if a kid like that set up a GFM account at 18, wouldn't it be preferable that those that CHOSE to donate were paying for his/her education rather than all of us as taxpayers doing it without a choice?

Joining the military simply isn't for everyone. For those that it is, I commend them but I do realize that not everyone is cut out for military service.

Most folks between the ages of 18-24 without an education do not need to do either of the last two.

 

[kamik86]

I'm not sure what you're saying here.
What exactly is wrong with the first 2 examples?

I dont' know about all schools but some schools have a limit on how long credits are good for. I'm not sure taking a class here or there for 6-7 years to finish a 4 year degree is actually acceptable.

Joining the miltary works if you are eligible but not everyone is. There are conditions and circumstances that do make someone not eligible to join the military.

 

[Laura66]

Waiting until age 24 isn't always possible. I have seen kids that are out of their parent's homes (not by choice) at 18 and can't get financial aid and working at McD's which won't pay rent. 18-24 is a long time when you aren't making enough money to live on. Besides, if a kid like that set up a GFM account at 18, wouldn't it be preferable that those that CHOSE to donate were paying for his/her education rather than all of us as taxpayers doing it without a choice?

Joining the military simply isn't for everyone. For those that it is, I commend them but I do realize that not everyone is cut out for military service.

Most folks between the ages of 18-24 without an education do not need to do either of the last two.

I dont' know about all schools but some schools have a limit on how long credits are good for. I'm not sure taking a class here or there for 6-7 years to finish a 4 year degree is actually acceptable.

Joining the miltary works if you are eligible but not everyone is. There are conditions and circumstances that do make someone not eligible to join the military.

If you want to go to school you'll make these things work. Sure it's hard and not ideal and it takes longer. So what! Be responsible for yourself without "begging" people for money and making excuses why it won't work.
Or at the very least TRY and make it work!!!!

 

[luvsJack]

If you want to go to school you'll make these things work. Sure it's hard and not ideal and it takes longer. So what! Be responsible for yourself without "begging" people for money and making excuses why it won't work.
Or at the very least TRY and make it work!!!!

There are many that do try and make it work, and it doesn't. They can't pay their rent on what they make working full time, they sure can't if they work part time and go to school. Its not excuses, its a fact.

Like kamik said, not all classes are good forever. Taking a class now and then trying to use that credit in 6 years and you will end up having to retake classes. Again, not an excuse but a fact.

You can't make something work that just won't. There are plenty that get through school with financial aid, working a few hours a week, get child care paid for, housing, food, etc. Because they started having kids at 16. But let one be responsible enough not to do that but have a lousy parent that throws them out for no reason at 18 and you have a kid that can't go to school.

Again, I would rather some of them ask for donations from folks that are willing to give them money for college than to depend on the taxpayer to pay for it.

Now, of course I am certain there are some that ask for college money simply because they want to attend the high dollar private school instead of a state school or community college. But, there very well may be those that have every intention on "trying to make it work" but hit wall after wall after wall and know they need help. GFM may give them the help they need.

And if there are folks out there that WANT to give to someone's college education, why do any of us care anyway? Its not our money, its their's. People give to all kinds of crazy stuff all the time. There used to be some rich guy that you could write to with legitimate requests for money and he would send the money. It was for cars, surgeries, education, homes, whatever. I seriously doubt he is the only person that wants to give money to people who need it, so GFM is a way to reach people like him.

 

[mjkacmom]

The rule of thumb that the gift you give should be worth more than the cost the bridal couple is incurring for inviting you to their event, ie if the reception is in a $50/plate hall a couple should give a gift worth $100+. I'd never heard of it either until the DIS.

Not quite. To cover your plate, it means to cover your plate. So, if it cost $100 pp, you would give $100 pp (at least).

What it really is, is that in this area, wedding tend to average around $100 pp, so most give $$200+ from a couple. Birthday parties average around $20, and most give $20. Finances, relationship with the hosts, etc, also play a part.

 

[Kbee]

Its not about people who want to give to others. Its what setting up a GFM account says about your own character IMO. If you are okay begging for money for things you "need" then I consider that a character flaw and have little respect for you. YMMV.
People can set up whatever they want, but that doesn't mean others aren't going to think things about you if you do.

 

[Laura66]

Its not about people who want to give to others. Its what setting up a GFM account says about your own character IMO. If you are okay begging for money for things you "need" then I consider that a character flaw and have little respect for you. YMMV.
People can set up whatever they want, but that doesn't mean others aren't going to think things about you if you do.

Yes!

 

[Laura66]

There are many that do try and make it work, and it doesn't. They can't pay their rent on what they make working full time, they sure can't if they work part time and go to school. Its not excuses, its a fact.

Like kamik said, not all classes are good forever. Taking a class now and then trying to use that credit in 6 years and you will end up having to retake classes. Again, not an excuse but a fact.

You can't make something work that just won't. There are plenty that get through school with financial aid, working a few hours a week, get child care paid for, housing, food, etc. Because they started having kids at 16. But let one be responsible enough not to do that but have a lousy parent that throws them out for no reason at 18 and you have a kid that can't go to school.

Again, I would rather some of them ask for donations from folks that are willing to give them money for college than to depend on the taxpayer to pay for it.

Now, of course I am certain there are some that ask for college money simply because they want to attend the high dollar private school instead of a state school or community college. But, there very well may be those that have every intention on "trying to make it work" but hit wall after wall after wall and know they need help. GFM may give them the help they need.

And if there are folks out there that WANT to give to someone's college education, why do any of us care anyway? Its not our money, its their's. People give to all kinds of crazy stuff all the time. There used to be some rich guy that you could write to with legitimate requests for money and he would send the money. It was for cars, surgeries, education, homes, whatever. I seriously doubt he is the only person that wants to give money to people who need it, so GFM is a way to reach people like him.

I see a lot of excuses and reasons why it won't work here. What about brainstorming so they can make it work.
And MAYBE after you tried, and tried, and do without extras and wants then MAYBE you ask for some help.

 

[luvsJack]

Its not about people who want to give to others. Its what setting up a GFM account says about your own character IMO. If you are okay begging for money for things you "need" then I consider that a character flaw and have little respect for you. YMMV.
People can set up whatever they want, but that doesn't mean others aren't going to think things about you if you do.

I think the definition of "begging' is questionable. If you prefer to judge people based on what they do to fund raise for something, well, that could be construed as a character flaw too.

Some things should not be on the GFM site, I am sure. But most of the ones that I looked at are legitimate things that people, schools, kids/parents and communities have been raising money for for years. Its just a new format.

 

[BadPinkTink]

wow, just read all 10 pages and some very interesting comments. I wanted to reply to so many but it would take forever

This go fund me thing seems to a very American thing. Im from Ireland and I have only seen it on Facebook from my American friends. Both times the go fund me pages were set up for friends I know in real by someone else. Both times I did not contribute, why, because I feel that asking strangers for money is wrong unless it is for a legitimate registered charity whose financial records are audited.

Kids fund raise here for charity or for the schools too. When I was growing up my parents would only allow us to ask people we knew to sponsor us ie anyone who entered our house was fair game or neighbours on the street where we lived. If kids call to my door now, Im the same, if I don't know them or their parents I wont sponsor them.

I am just astounded reading all the comments about go fund pages being set up for all sorts of things, the audacity of people who think that they can beg for money from the general public because they live outside their means and want to have extras is just so wrong, really now college funds, funerals, breast augmentation, holidays and all the other things mentioned in this thread

As for wedding gift registries I personally think it is a very practical approach in a modern world. Here in Ireland traditionally wedding gifts were given to help the new couple furnish their new home. But now in Ireland the majority of people getting married have lived together and already have their home. To me wedding gift registries are a sensible approach. In Ireland it is bad manners NOT to bring a gift to a wedding, so a wedding registry list eliminates duplicate gifts, gives guests an idea of what the couple actually need and their tastes. Also having a wedding registry list is not an obligation to buy from that list.

In Ireland we don't really do baby showers or high school graduations or sweet sixteen's or announcements. We would celebrate things like Christenings, First Holy Communion, Confirmation, 21 birthday or major wedding anniversaries but I have never heard of people having gift registries for those.

Another thing mentioned is Amazon wishlists. We do this in my family for Christmas and birthdays. My sister lives in a different country and ordering from Amazon is a more practical approach to gift giving as we can order on-line and have the gift delivered. We have an agreed gift value and now that we are adults, having an Amazon wish list means we can give gifts which the person actually wants or needs.

 

[MrsDuck]

NOPE. I wouldn't say anything but I wouldn't contribute. Now, if this was in lieu of graduation gifts, I guess it's SLIGHTLY more acceptable.