Give me advice please

Aibrean3

Earning My Ears
Joined
May 29, 2020
Messages
14
I am looking at a trip in late 2021/early 2022 and am starting planning early due to multiple disabilities. I will more than likely be renting an ecv for myself as I have fibromyalgia and a pinched nerve in my back and possible RA. I am also a single mom to three children: a 6 year old boy with autism and sensory processing disorder that is an eloper plus he has a laundry list of food allergies, a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old girl that is exhibiting many of the same signs as her brother so I am pushing to get her evaluated for autism as well. My youngest also has a dairy allergy and both the girls mimic their brother when he elopes and take off running just for the fun of it, so if we are out they are all contained by a leash or stroller. I will be taking another adult with me as I know I cannot make a trip to Disney on my own with these children, but I want to make it a family trip where we all go together. I can see things going very wrong and being difficult. Help me actually figure out how to make this work please.
 
The other adult is a great idea or maybe two I would look into getting the DAS for one or all your kids and maybe doing a stroller as a wheelchair tag with a dibble stroller I know a family that can fit 3 kids in one ( twin 7 year olds and a two year old) one sits on the foot rest. ) it might not work for running but the stroller would at lest keep two close and have there bubble and that would leave just one with out a bubble. For food allergies Disney is really good at accommodation them if you have a child with a few allergies I would write them down and make some copies ( more then you think you need) this way you can hand them to whom every is taking your order and just say this is what child one can not have here is what child 2 can not have
 
First of all, :welcome: to our little corner of the DIS! Everyone here is really nice and helpful! 🙂

I agree with everything my good friend @gap2368 said; an additional adult for support/help will be super important (and probably the first thing we would have told you to plan on - so you are already ahead of the game!)

A triple stroller might be good to have - the main things to know are that not only can you get the "Stroller as a wheelchair" tag at Guest Relations (where you will go to ask for the DAS for your kiddo(s) ) but you will also want to make sure that any stroller you buy/rent/borrow will fit within Disney's maximum measurements, as stated on this page at the WDW official website, under the heading "Prohibited items"

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Remember that "boogie boards" (or similar devices that create a step for a child to stand on, on a wheelchair or stroller) will also not be allowed - Disney has now changed the language on the Park Rules to reflect this a little more clearly ("Devices should be single rider")

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Food allergies typically are not a huge problem at WDW; they easily handle "common" food allergies, and even some not-so-common ones as well. In addition to having a list of those allergies for your servers, remember that buffets will always charge you for all kids over the age of (I think it's 3?) even if they can't eat a single thing off the buffet - so be sure to plan meals ahead accordingly if you think there won't be anything he can eat.

In "normal" times, Disney is great about keeping all of the menus updated for every single food service location at WDW. Right now, it's my understanding that most of the food service locations (especially at the hotels) are running on smaller, more limited menus until they get their "sea legs" with the phased reopening. But, you have plenty of time to plan, so that won't be a problem, and I believe that eventually we will see a return to the complete menus we saw previously.

You don't say - are you planning on staying on WDW at a Resort Hotel? Or are you planning on staying offsite? That will have a direct impact on your planning, and things like afternoon naps (*much* easier to take the bus back to a Disney Resort Hotel for an afternoon nap, and then return for some evening fun). Plus, some Resorts have "alternate" transportation that the kids might really like, including the Skyliner, the Monorail and boats of different types (depends on which hotel you stay at).

If I were in your shoes, I would also start working with my littles *now* on things like setting expectations and "practicing" for Disney World - for example, at the grocery store when you are waiting in line to check out, you can "practice" waiting in line at Disney World. This summer "practice" putting on sunscreen so we don't get sunburned at Disney World!" And any other things that you might want to work on between now and then. Planning out as far as you are is smart, because it gives your entire family lots of time to get ready.

The DAS will help when you are in the Parks by allowing your party to wait outside the main queue for rides, but it has no bearing whatsoever on your time at any food service location, any bathroom location, Disney Springs, or the Resort Hotels, so you will still need to be prepared to possibly stand in lines for things like breakfast at the hotel, or waiting for buses, waiting to buy souvenirs in the shops, etc.

I can tell you are feeling overwhelmed, so what is your greatest concern right now? I know that you are obviously worried about the kids eloping when they have the adults outnumbered, but you also have strategies for that identified (leash/harness & triple stroller), so what is the next thing we can help you work on?

I know it may not seem possible right now, but believe it or not, you are not the first single mom to use a mobility device with more than one child who has their own special needs at Disney World. You can do this - and we will all be glad to help you plan and get ready as much as we can! 🙂
 
I am planning on staying on site. Trying to narrow down a hotel that would be a good fit for us. I want to be close to the parks where transportation won't be too much of an issue if we are just having a bad day and need to make a quick retreat. Thinking about the beach club as a possibility as it seems to be close to 2 parks and also has that nice pool ( my kids are attracted to water, planning at least one resort day to decompress and spend at the pool). We will be splitting our time equally between parks and resort so need to actually have enough room for us all to spread out ( bedtime can be difficult if they are overwhelmed or over tired) and be comfortable. None of them nap so I am just going to have to play it be ear on how to handle things, split day in half or just come back to resort after an early dinner. My oldest is the most easily overwhelmed. At school he has to wear noise cancelling headphones in the hallways and halfway through the day be pulled out of class and sits in a sensory swing in an isolated cool room, and some days still result in meltdowns from him not being able to process everything. He is the one that scares me the most. Plus I try to wrap my head around the idea of how to wrangle a stroller plus a ecv onto whatever transportation we use, especially if I am having to fight a kid having a meltdown in the process. I know an extra adult will help, but I am the one they trust and look up to.
 

Also single parent with 2 kids. I have osteoarthritis, partially corrected kyphoscoliosis, auditory processing disorder asthma and immunodeficiency. My kids are 7 & 8. One has neurofibromatosis 1, septo optic dysplasia, partial hearing and vision loss; the other has severe fetal alcohol syndrome, depression, and ADHD.
If you put your mind to it you can do this and have a wonderful time. The people here have been very helpful for us.
We broke it down like this:
1. Consider an additional adult. This can be someone making the trip with you, hiring an in park mother’s helper, or in room babysitting service. Also consider if this will cause more stress by changing family dynamics.
2. Hotel including amenities, potential disability accommodations including sleeping arrangements. Will you eat at dining establishments or make your own food? Does your room have the appliances you need?
3. Length of stay. Big takeaway here is that it will simply take longer for families with special needs to accomplish the same stuff. Adjust expectations and either plan less in the trip or budget for a longer trip.
4. Consider all the pros and cons of different transportation options and your unique situation. Not everyone can use Disney transportation and not everyone needs a rental car.
5. With food allergies hyper research any menus. With special needs children research the restaurant atmosphere itself. We found DFB guide super helpful with this.
6. Research rides and attractions in advance. For questionable ones have your kids watch the ride on YouTube.
7. Research mobility device rental, DAS, stroller as a wheelchair tangy, in park devices for visual or hearing disabilities as needed.
8. Get family buy in/participation in the planning process. It goes easier if everyone agrees on the hotel/restaurant/activities.
But most importantly: Have fun. If it won’t be fun for you then wait until the time is right.
 
Well way to much to unpack in a single post but here are my first thoughts.

Look through the many threads on the disability forum, tons of info and experiences

For dangerous elopement, the classic methodology is a back harness and leash. but nowadays electronic tracking can give a lot of peace of mind. I have always been surprised that no company rents them for WDW. Our guys often do not have the perception of becoming lost. so for some of our kids explaining your needs and fears can be more effective. Since your oldest will be 7 to 8 by the time you go, giving him the ability to "track you" might also be helpful.

If the budget allows, renting a DVC villa is a lifesaver. Having room to spread out, a kitchen for dietary limitations, and to limit restaurant melt downs, washer/dryer. Consider a split stay so that you can be near the park most days. We often did BCV or BWV and BLT or CCV/BRV. IF we were staying for more than 8 days we often added AKV.

While it is possible to go this alone with proper pacing, finding someone who "gets it" and that your kids are comfortable with to go along will make both your fun much more possible and keep your stress down which we all know have a big impact on our kids. Also the best thing you can do is to be extremely flexible in you expectations.

As for the girls (as well as yourself), yes it is very likely that they have Autism genetics and related characteristics. Girls often present quite differently with sensory and anxiety the most prevalent though much of that depends on where they are on the spectrum (functional and intellectual level). Higher functioning girls often "hit the wall" in last elementary or when they enter middle school

The vast majority of CMs get Autism at a reasonable level and it is not uncommon for find ones that have family members or friends on the spectrum.

One challenge to consider is if some of your kids are sensory seekers while others are avoidrs, or are "combined type"

Looking back, for our family, I think that looking at WDW as an opportunity for the kids to stretch, while not thinking that there was anything that we had to do was a big part of the success. Also while we went alone many times, we also had the advantage of going with extended family, who had kids the spectrum characteristics and also got is as far as ASD. We ended up buying into DVC resale to make bringing family more affordable.
 
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Thinking about the beach club as a possibility as it seems to be close to 2 parks and also has that nice pool ( my kids are attracted to water
Beach Club is a great resort. However if your kids are elopers i would not put it high on the list unless you’ll have 1 adult per child to keep track of them. Storm-along Bay is large and i think would be a real challenge to keep eyes on all 3, impossible if someone bolts.

since you have time on your side, I recommrnd enlisting the assistance of any therapists who work with the kids. They can help simulate some situations and help the kids practice.
 
Beach Club is a great resort. However if your kids are elopers i would not put it high on the list unless you’ll have 1 adult per child to keep track of them. Storm-along Bay is large and i think would be a real challenge to keep eyes on all 3, impossible if someone bolts.

That was my thought too. SAB is a great pool, but only if you have strong swimmers and kids that can be trusted to handle themselves a bit. You can't see the whole pool area from any one spot. And in order to get on the big slide you have to cross a public sidewalk. It doesn't seem like a great fit for the OP's family.

With younger kids I'm guessing you will spend a lot of time at the Magic Kingdom. Have you given any thought to the Poly? It has a great pool area, and you can watch the fireworks at night from the beach. Plus you can monorail to both the Magic Kingdom and Epcot.
 
You might want to go to a value/ moderate Resort and use the minivan service to go place to place they pick your group up at your resort close to your room and drops you off close to the park ( where the park buss drop you off
 
Beach Club is a great resort. However if your kids are elopers i would not put it high on the list unless you’ll have 1 adult per child to keep track of them. Storm-along Bay is large and i think would be a real challenge to keep eyes on all 3, impossible if someone bolts.

since you have time on your side, I recommrnd enlisting the assistance of any therapists who work with the kids. They can help simulate some situations and help the kids practice.
Thank you. I hadn't considered that possibility. I have looked at a lot of different resorts from value all the way to deluxe and am having trouble finding the right one. I have also debated about AOA, but worry about the distance from the parks, plus if it would be too much after a long day and too crowded. Do many things to consider. I will take any suggestions that I can get.
Beach Club is a great resort. However if your kids are elopers i would not put it high on the list unless you’ll have 1 adult per child to keep track of them. Storm-along Bay is large and i think would be a real challenge to keep eyes on all 3, impossible if someone bolts.
Thank you so much. I hadn't considered hour much of a challenge it would be to track all three at such a large pool area 🤦. I have looked at resorts from value up to deluxe and am having trouble selling on the perfect one. I looked at AOA as a possibility but worried it would be too far from the parks, plus be too much after a long day. However the theming looks great so I am stuck. I will take any suggestions I can.

For dangerous elopement, the classic methodology is a back harness and leash. but nowadays electronic tracking can give a lot of peace of mind. I have always been surprised that no company rents them for WDW. Our guys often do not have the perception of becoming lost. so for some of our kids explaining your needs and fears can be more effective. Since your oldest will be 7 to 8 by the time you go, giving him the ability to "track you" might also be helpful.

If the budget allows, renting a DVC villa is a lifesaver. Having room to spread out, a kitchen for dietary limitations, and to limit restaurant melt downs, washer/dryer. Consider a split stay so that you can be near the park most days. We often did BCV or BWV and BLT or CCV/BRV. IF we were staying for more than 8 days we often added AKV.
As for the girls (as well as yourself), yes it is very likely that they have Autism genetics and related characteristics. Girls often present quite differently with sensory and anxiety the most prevalent though much of that depends on where they are on the spectrum (functional and intellectual level).
One challenge to consider is if some of your kids are sensory seekers while others are avoidrs, or are "combined type"
I pulled a few sections out of your reply that stood out to me the most. My oldest has no fear of danger and when he elopes, nothing stops him and often ends in a meltdown. I have explained why he can't elope and my fears about him getting lost our hurt and he just doesn't understand. He has to be supervised more like a 3 year old at the moment because of his spontaneity and no fear of anything.

I have looked at DVC as a possibility. Need more information on the front as this is my first trip to Disney myself so I am still unfamiliar on some things. A split stay has been something I have considered since I want to be close to each park, just not sure logistically how that works.

Lastly, yes I am high functioning autistic myself and relate very easily to some of the issues my kids have because I have similar traits. I have had more trouble with certain situations as I got older because nobody worked with me as mine did not present as the traditional autism so I got overlooked and fell thru the cracks, so I definitely understand the dilemma of girls path differently than boys. My oldest is a sensory seeker, my middle child is a mixture and my youngest is a sensory avoider.
 
Since our kids can be unpredictable , I have found the best thing to do it to just put them in a life jacket. We would bring our own for comfort and familiarity but WDW has them also.
 
That was my thought too. SAB is a great pool, but only if you have strong swimmers and kids that can be trusted to handle themselves a bit. You can't see the whole pool area from any one spot. And in order to get on the big slide you have to cross a public sidewalk. It doesn't seem like a great fit for the OP's family.

With younger kids I'm guessing you will spend a lot of time at the Magic Kingdom. Have you given any thought to the Poly? It has a great pool area, and you can watch the fireworks at night from the beach. Plus you can monorail to both the Magic Kingdom and Epcot.
Very good points I appreciate you giving me that I didn't realize. I have looked at Poly but the menus at all the restaurants look prohibitive for us as my oldest is allergic to most fruits, all of the tropical fruits for certain. He has a latex allergy so I have to be very careful of the fruits he is exposed to. I know we don't have to eat there at the resort, but I am thinking of convenience and exposure. Maybe somebody can give me some advice on this.
 
You might want to go to a value/ moderate Resort and use the minivan service to go place to place they pick your group up at your resort close to your room and drops you off close to the park ( where the park buss drop you off
This has been a consideration of mine. Can you ( or anyone else) give me an idea how easy it is to do this with an ecv and larger stroller ( double or something in that regard)? How fast can the minivans be summoned and are they comfortable for 6 people? It would I be better trying to bring my own transportation or rent a vehicle?
 
This has been a consideration of mine. Can you ( or anyone else) give me an idea how easy it is to do this with an ecv and larger stroller ( double or something in that regard)? How fast can the minivans be summoned and are they comfortable for 6 people? It would I be better trying to bring my own transportation or rent a vehicle?


I think you have to call for the wheelchair one so it might take a little longer to get then the none mobility one if you find one child or two just needs to go back to the hotel right now you might want to send them ina non-mobility van while you and the last kido take the bus but if you need to take the van too the mobility one might hold less then 6 people so you might get two ( will not pay for two) and you can send the kids that need to go on what everyone comes first


I think our @mamabunny has used it but not sure
 
Thank you. I hadn't considered that possibility. I have looked at a lot of different resorts from value all the way to deluxe and am having trouble finding the right one. I have also debated about AOA, but worry about the distance from the parks, plus if it would be too much after a long day and too crowded. Do many things to consider. I will take any suggestions that I can get.
Thank you so much. I hadn't considered hour much of a challenge it would be to track all three at such a large pool area 🤦. I have looked at resorts from value up to deluxe and am having trouble selling on the perfect one. I looked at AOA as a possibility but worried it would be too far from the parks, plus be too much after a long day. However the theming looks great so I am stuck. I will take any suggestions I can.


I pulled a few sections out of your reply that stood out to me the most. My oldest has no fear of danger and when he elopes, nothing stops him and often ends in a meltdown. I have explained why he can't elope and my fears about him getting lost our hurt and he just doesn't understand. He has to be supervised more like a 3 year old at the moment because of his spontaneity and no fear of anything.

I have looked at DVC as a possibility. Need more information on the front as this is my first trip to Disney myself so I am still unfamiliar on some things. A split stay has been something I have considered since I want to be close to each park, just not sure logistically how that works.

Lastly, yes I am high functioning autistic myself and relate very easily to some of the issues my kids have because I have similar traits. I have had more trouble with certain situations as I got older because nobody worked with me as mine did not present as the traditional autism so I got overlooked and fell thru the cracks, so I definitely understand the dilemma of girls path differently than boys. My oldest is a sensory seeker, my middle child is a mixture and my youngest is a sensory avoider.
I think AOA would be really good yes it is far from MK but you can take the skyline to either EPCOT or HS ( and then from EPCOT you can take the Monorail your have to go through EPCOT to do this but it might be something fun for the kids to do. Your have family sweet too so a little more room two bathroom and a microwave the pool has music under water and like you said the theming is really cool. POP across the like has the same benefits for getting to the parks but the rooms only hold 4 so you would need two they do have connection room. One problem with moderate is that they are very big and have a number of bus stops with the values there is just one you can walk anywhere within 5 minutes ( so if you need to get some food go to the gift shop or even go swimming ) you can walk while some place you would need to use a bus
 
I am looking at a trip in late 2021/early 2022 and am starting planning early due to multiple disabilities. I will more than likely be renting an ecv for myself as I have fibromyalgia and a pinched nerve in my back and possible RA. I am also a single mom to three children: a 6 year old boy with autism and sensory processing disorder that is an eloper plus he has a laundry list of food allergies, a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old girl that is exhibiting many of the same signs as her brother so I am pushing to get her evaluated for autism as well. My youngest also has a dairy allergy and both the girls mimic their brother when he elopes and take off running just for the fun of it, so if we are out they are all contained by a leash or stroller. I will be taking another adult with me as I know I cannot make a trip to Disney on my own with these children, but I want to make it a family trip where we all go together. I can see things going very wrong and being difficult. Help me actually figure out how to make this work please.
I am going to sound a little different but remember none of the kids can ride on ECV with you. only one rider per ECV. I would look at taking 2 adults or an adult and older teen with you. you are going to need 2 able to go after kids as you will not be able to fit where a kid can with an ECV. with a stroller you will not be able to either pull or push it from your ECV. using as an ECV if the oldest runs you are going to have to sit with stroller while someone goes after him. another thing to think about if oldest wants to ride something with a height requirement even with stroller tag you and the others are going to be waiting outside of line. yes I did a trip with a runner with an ECV but it was 2 adults to one child. I am not trying to talk you out of trip just think you are going to need a second adult with you esp with both an ECV and a stroller
 
I think AOA would be really good yes it is far from MK but you can take the skyline to either EPCOT or HS ( and then from EPCOT you can take the Monorail your have to go through EPCOT to do this but it might be something fun for the kids to do. Your have family sweet too so a little more room two bathroom and a microwave the pool has music under water and like you said the theming is really cool. POP across the like has the same benefits for getting to the parks but the rooms only hold 4 so you would need two they do have connection room. One problem with moderate is that they are very big and have a number of bus stops with the values there is just one you can walk anywhere within 5 minutes ( so if you need to get some food go to the gift shop or even go swimming ) you can walk while some place you would need to use a bus
only problem with you idea with skyliner is you would need hoppers to get to monorail as they are at other enterences from each other
 
only problem with you idea with skyliner is you would need hoppers to get to monorail as they are at other enterences from each other
Not really if the op dose not have hopper they can take the bus to MK or AK or minivan taxi Uber or the like.
 
I am going to sound a little different but remember none of the kids can ride on ECV with you. only one rider per ECV. I would look at taking 2 adults or an adult and older teen with you. you are going to need 2 able to go after kids as you will not be able to fit where a kid can with an ECV. with a stroller you will not be able to either pull or push it from your ECV. using as an ECV if the oldest runs you are going to have to sit with stroller while someone goes after him. another thing to think about if oldest wants to ride something with a height requirement even with stroller tag you and the others are going to be waiting outside of line. yes I did a trip with a runner with an ECV but it was 2 adults to one child. I am not trying to talk you out of trip just think you are going to need a second adult with you esp with both an ECV and a stroller
This is something I have considered and worry about very much. Alot of these concerns have occurred to me at one point or another and are why I need advice as I don't know how to handle them. On a good day I don't have the energy to chase a child when they elope for very long, on my bad days it is extremely difficult and I wish I had an ecv for everyday use. I am the only person though that my children really connect with and will calm down for in a meltdown, or that can talk them down from dangerous situations. I have considered the idea of trying to talk to the kid's dad to see if he would be willing to assist with the trip, but I don't know that I feel like spending that much time with him as we still have a bit of a tense relationship.
 












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