Give it to me straight: Taking the in-laws to Disney. How do you mentally prepare?

[GoinToDisney]

I haven't read all of the replies, but it does sound to me like your dh is thinking about what would make HIM happy and not what would make his parents happy. You don't present something you'd like someone else to do to make you happy in a way they can't refuse. My IL's planned a trip to Italy, offered to pay all expenses except for meals and were shocked when we declined. They did everything they could to convince us. They wanted a whole family vacation, but we don't share our vacations any more. Spending all that time on a plane with an infant and spending 10 days with them in another country did not sound like fun at all. They are already trying to convice us to do it in another 2 years.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

8 day trip with BOTH sets of grandparents?!?

I keep saying to DH, "Space", "Privacy", "Different rooms".

A prescription for Xanax!

 

[roscoepc1]

I was thinking..."Well, I've never done that"...but then realized dh has! Lol...we took my Mom with us in 2009, and it was the first trip to Disney for ALL of us. Mom asked if she could travel with us, as she doesn't care to travel alone anymore (driving to the airport etc), and my Dad has zero interest in Disney....

We did have seperate rooms, and that helped...dh, the girls and I splurged on a Pirate room at CB, and Mom had a king room in another set of buildings there (South and North Trinidad...can't remember which was which)..

The thing that worked for us was to "do our own things" each day, then meet up for supper at an ADR...

Even with that, by the end of the week, we were starting to feel the strain...but it wasn't Mom's fault. We simply found we'd made too many ADR's for our own taste. By the time the end of the week rolled around, we were tired of racing to ADRs and having to stop dead whatever we were doing at the required time.

Next time we go (you can see on my ticker) Mom will be going as well if she's up to it (she has terminal cancer, and will be in the last year of her allotted/supposed "time left"), and we'll follow basically the same plan, but have fewer ADRs for supper....maybe do one every other night instead of every night.

I also think we might include her for a Kim Possible mission (b/c she enjoys "puzzle-y" things like that) while dh has a beer or two in Germany (as his patience strains at things like that)...

I still think you need to find some way to warn mil....don't necessarily tell her exactly what it is, but warn her there's a surprise coming from dh, and he really is excited...blah, blah, blah.....



If everything else fails, remember my new favourite saying...

"It's nothing alcohol and a shotgun won't fix."

 

[LaurenLC]

We're going to Disney in May with my mom, my in-laws, my brother and sister-in-law and my husband’s two brothers and their wives and our nephew... There will be 13 of us in total.... I'm not worried about it now, but talk to me in April, I'm sure I'll come to my senses!

 

[dunbarfamily]

I'd probably start by making funeral arrangements...but I won't say for who.

That is the funniest thing EVER! I have tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard!! And the sad thing is, it's true!! Been there, done that, never again!

Thanks for the laugh Yubbie!!!

 

[amym2]

Do they like to eat? Maybe you could enlist their help in choosing a couple of restaurants. We always enjoy eating in restaurants with buffets/family style like Boma, Whispering Canyon, Biergarten. There's something for everyone and it's often a great opportunity to try new foods. Its one of the things my parents most enjoy about our WDW trips.

We've been a few times with my family (parents, sister, and BIL) and we've found that we prefer renting a house off-site. That way everyone can spread out and if there's a day that someone doesn't feel like going to the parks, they can relax more than in a hotel room. Inevitably someone ends up being sick (it's been my mom the past two trips, poor thing) and she's been perfectly happy staying at the house and knitting. She would have been miserable in a hotel room. We also follow the "we don't have to be together 24/7" rule.

I agree- why in the world does your DH think a surprise is a good idea? I also agree that just taking your FIL might be a good option. I'd love to just take my FIL on vacation, but we'd have to invite DH's sister and we cannot travel with her.

 

[Fantasmic23]

I agree- why in the world does your DH think a surprise is a good idea? I also agree that just taking your FIL might be a good option. I'd love to just take my FIL on vacation, but we'd have to invite DH's sister and we cannot travel with her.

I finally convinced my DH to tell his parents beforehand!

I would love to just take my FIL, but ... That's not going to happen.

Thanks!

 

[Fantasmic23]

So, your husband knows his mother hates surprises, and hates crowds, so he wants to surprise her with a trip to a crowded place? And plans to do it in a way that doesn't allow her to decline? And he's sure enough she will dislike it that he's thinking of ways to "cushion the blow?" Does he not like his mother? Because this whole scheme sounds remarkably thoughtless to me. And trying to get the poor woman to wear a t-shirt, when you know she doesn't like them, just so you can all match? Just adding insult to injury, IMHO.

Thanks but I'm not trying to make the "poor woman" wear anything. I wrote (In a previous post) that I thought a Disney t-shirt was cute ... This doesn't mean I'm going to employ this idea. I know very well that MIL won't wear any kind of t-shirt (A Disney blouse, maybe).

My husband loves his mother (Both parents) very much and I think his plan to take them to Disney is very thoughtful ... He's just not going about it the right way. Since my original post, I've convinced him that a surprise is not the way to go. He knows now that he must present the idea in such a way that they have the option of saying no.

I apologize if I sound snippy ... This is just stressful.

 

[Fantasmic23]

I haven't read all of the replies, but it does sound to me like your dh is thinking about what would make HIM happy and not what would make his parents happy. You don't present something you'd like someone else to do to make you happy in a way they can't refuse. My IL's planned a trip to Italy, offered to pay all expenses except for meals and were shocked when we declined. They did everything they could to convince us. They wanted a whole family vacation, but we don't share our vacations any more. Spending all that time on a plane with an infant and spending 10 days with them in another country did not sound like fun at all. They are already trying to convice us to do it in another 2 years.

Yes, DH was initially (And selfishly) thinking of what would make HIM happy. I've told him from the get-go, that a Disney surprise is not the way to go. Since my original post, I've convinced him that he must present the idea of a Disney vacation in such a way that they have the option of saying no. And I've discussed with him that he cannot get "all bent out of shape" if they do indeed say no.

 

[LilGMom]

Thanks but I'm not trying to make the "poor woman" wear anything. I wrote (In a previous post) that I thought a Disney t-shirt was cute ... This doesn't mean I'm going to employ this idea. I know very well that MIL won't wear any kind of t-shirt (A Disney blouse, maybe).

My husband loves his mother (Both parents) very much and I think his plan to take them to Disney is very thoughtful ... He's just not going about it the right way. Since my original post, I've convinced him that a surprise is not the way to go. He knows now that he must present the idea in such a way that they have the option of saying no.

I apologize if I sound snippy ... This is just stressful.

You haven't seen anything yet. It can be fun to go with ILs if you already have a good relationship with them. And when they start getting on a nerve while at WDW just remind DH that they are HIS parents and he can deal with them.

 

[jinia]

Haven't read any posts..just answering original query...

xanax..for you or them or both....

 

[Fantasmic23]

Haven't read any posts..just answering original query...

xanax..for you or them or both....

Oh yes, I think I would definitely be heading down to Xanax Town.

 

[happymommy]

One more thing...

I don't think any Grandma can pass up a trip to WDW with her grandchildren.

Um, yes they can! I've gone so many times and my folks are 3 hours away. And they HATE theme parks (and Disney) and they invited themselves last March (of course got their own room) on our trip. I would rather have died. They hated everything. I thanked GOD it was only 3 days, and was so glad when they left.


Even my DH's folks would like it I think, but when we go on vacation to WDW we don't invite anyone (one other time it was a fiasco when my sister and her family and my disney hating folks came along, and it was so weird since they paid for my sister's whole family but not one cent for us, since we don't need it).

I am sorry to see some folks being passive about their family vacations. I have friends who love their in-laws along, but others who complain, but really you don't have to invite them.