Gift equitte/dilema?

[babyrich]

My friend and I were having a similar conversation just yesterday. She received an early Xmas gift from a friend and it was one of these body lotion and body wash from Five Below. She said the wash didnt even make a lather unless you used a lot of it and the lotion was greasy.

I think the request should have been honored. The thought that someone less fortunate should just appreciate what they get is wrong. The program gave them the opportunity to ask for a specific gift, why not honor it?

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

Have to agree with everyone else - I would get the B&BW. Like a PP said, 13 year olds are very brand conscious - DD is convinced B&BW is the best, and so are her friends. B&BW also runs great sales, so it would be possible to get the Angel something she would really want for about the same price.

 

[englishteacha]

That's a tough one. Is there a Bath and Body Works near you? There isn't one near us, so if I "adopted" that Angel then I would either a) have to travel more than an hour to the nearest BBW store or b) find what I felt was an adequate replacement. In our case, that might be something nice from Walmart, or something quite pricey from one of the downtown specialty shops (they sell Burts Bees and fancy lotions, etc. there, among other things). If at all possible, I would get the BBW items, but if it were a last-minute thing and there was no way to get to BBW, I would rather substitute something nice than have nothing to give.

We're in a rural area, and I teach in a town nearby with a very high poverty rate. So many kids are being helped by area agencies for Christmas that it's nearly impossible for each child to get "adopted" for a gift, let alone find enough people to donate generic gifts to help fill basic wish lists. It is so difficult because in general the population is very low income, and those who can provide for their own families often don't have much left over to then help others. It's been a tough few years here.

 

[Disney845]

My wife wears a 2XL and mom always gets her a sweater or shirt in petite medium. It is very obvious that not even our daughter would wear a petite medium, let alone my wife. Perhaps one of you girls could explain the thought process of my mother, because I don't understand it at all.

My guess is that it is a passive agressive way of saying that your wife needs to lose weight.

 

[Banzai]

No, not at all. Gifts from Bath and Body Works would be the way to go, as it would be what they wanted and it would be obvious it was a cheaper substitution. The stuff there isn't expensive, I say do it right and make their day.

 

[Marionnette]

I was not the gift purchaser for this Angel.
I am a volunteer parent (PTO) who was helping to sort and organize the gifts. A total of 6 families were sponored this year.

I was thinking, as most of you, that if a partiuclar item is asked for that a cheap replacement is not really the solution. Again we are not talking about game systems or iPods.

Five Below is a brand new store in our area, where everything is priced in whole numbers being $5 or less.
Personally I think you have to really watch what you care getting because cut Christmas fuzzy socks for $3 are a pretty good deal, BUT Old Navy has better quality fuzzy socks for 3 for $3.00. A fancy makeup brush or even hair brush at $4 is not a bargain.
DD was able to get a Webkinz reindeer (animal of the month??) for $5 when Justice has same thing for $16.....so that was a deal. The mimi Webkinz were also $5 but Hobby Lobby had them for $3 and using a 40% coupon made them even better, so Five Below was not good for that item.

Anyway, thanks for the responses. I agree that a B&B Work gift set would have been much better. Again most families in these situations do shop a Dollar Tree or Five Below so are used to "settlling" but getting a B&B gift would be super special.

I would have told the supervisor to pitch the cheap stuff and I would have gone out to buy the kid a Bath and Body Works gift card at the nearest CVS or grocery store with a gift card rack.

 

[bedogged]

If a gift request for a 13 yr old girl was made (via angel tree) for:

" lip gloss, lotions, Bath & Body Works gift card"

Would a pkg of lip gloss and seperate pkg of bath gels/washes both prepackaged from Five Below be a good solution?

We were putting everything together for the families. The supervisor was checking all the orders as the PTO were sorting things.

The supervisor was not really that happy with the substitution. She feels that most needy families aready shop at Dollar Tree and Five Below so they could possible already have or are getting said items, but chances of getting a better brand was unlikely , making it that much more special.
(We are not talking replacing iTouch with off brand or Levi jeans with Dollar General brand).

I am not familiar with Five Below, but somehow put it into the same type of Dollar Tree catagory and certain things I love and certain things I avoid from there.......like toothpaste, candles w/lead wicks, body washes.....and things I love like the holiday decor, crafts, hair/socks accessories, etc.

Well, needless to say it started a debate. I managed to stay out of it during the sorting/packing time. However I would love to hear opinions from hear (Y'all have good ways to view such matters).

Thanks in advance.

One thing I would say is that Bath and Body Works is a BIG deal with my teenage granddaughter and her friends. If you shop their sales, it is not very expensive and she would be heartbroken with a replacement.

 

[carebee21]

Personally, I find it rather odd that the supervisor would even comment. I've worked for years (probably about 16-17 years, when my parents decided I was an ungrateful teenager and wanted to teach me a lesson and put me to work with these organizations and it's just stuck) with 2 specific Christmas gift giving charities. The thing is, these types of organizations only take signups for the first x amount of people. They don't take on more people than they think the community/charity can handle. And everyone approved, gets a gift. At the end of the "gift giving time period" if your name wasn't chosen or a gift wasn't purchased for you, you're basically placed into a general pool. Monetary donations are used to purchase gifts and gifts that large companies and corportations donate are included in that general pool. We then make an attempt to match up the item requested with something in the general pool, but that's not always an option, so sometimes you just go with something age appropriate. Even if the item purchased for someone on the gift giving tree seems cheap, underwhelming, etc, it's often more suited to what the individual wanted than being placed in the "general pool."

And with that said, you also need to remember that you have a wide variety of people who actually purchase these gifts. You have people like myself who purchase what the requester wants and extra things, knowing that this child will likely have nothing else for Christmas (for example, this year the child I had wanted PJ's. We got winter and summer pj's, a robe, slipper socks, pillow pet, throw blanket, lovey and some bedtime books.) Then you have people and groups who want to help as much as they can, for as little money as possible. (For example, if they had the child who asked for Pj's, they may buy walmart $5 pj's, fulfilling only the wish, and then moving onto the next child.) We see this a lot with girl scouts having $100 and wanting to help as many kids as possible with that money, etc. And then you have people who themselves are low income but they want to help someone else, or they want to teach their children about charity or this organization helped them and they want to give back. They don't have a lot of money to do it, but they want to help. They pick a gift they think they can afford and try to fulfill it.

So while personally I would have gotten bath and body works items and some name brand lip gloss, I really find it hard to believe that someone working in this type of capacity, knowing that people have been turned away, knowing that some kids won't receive close to what they want, and knowing that someone made their best attempt at helping someone else, when we don't know the helpers own personal situation, would even comment or have the gall to put down someone else's charitable gift.

 

[luvmy3]

This probably won't be a popular opinion, but I would've skipped that particular angel rather than address the issue of name brand vs. off-brand. I also don't particularly like requests for gift cards; it sounds like "give me a gift, but I don't think you have the sense to pick something good, so just throw cash my way". Honestly, I would've moved on to another angel.

I don't go to the mall between Thanksgiving and New Year's, and that's the only place to get these items/that gift card. I can't get a parking space, and it's over-crowded. So I would never have promised to go get that item.

If I were forced into a "gotta get this product" situation, I would choose a good brand at Walmart or Target while I was shopping there for other things. I'd choose full-sized bottles, I'd get a nice, varied selection, and I'd package them up in a cute gift bag -- but I'd blow off requests for specific brands. If the superviser was unhappy, she could do without my assistance next year; plenty of other groups are in need.

Disclaimer: I don't know this Five Below store. Sounds like a place that'd sell parkas.

I think in the case of a 13 year old on an Angel Tree a gift card request is pretty common. Its hard for me to pick out BBW stuff for my own dd let alone a total stranger, and I know how teens love to shop so a GC for someone who probably doesn't get to go shopping is a great gift. You can also find alot of merchant GCs at grocery stores and places like CVS so you don't even need to go to that particular store to get them.
Its funny how different people can be, if I was doing an Angel Tree, I'd pick the ones that asked for GCs

 

[Bonniec]

Yeah, also with the others.

So what ended up happening for her. Did she get stuck with the replacement?

 

[crashbb]

But she didn't ask for Bath and Body Works lip gloss and lotion.

The OP says that the request was:

"lip gloss, lotions, Bath & Body Works gift card"

The only thing that is specified as Bath and Body Works is the gift card. The lip gloss and lotions are not specified.

 

[dr&momto2boys]

Disclaimer: I don't know this Five Below store. Sounds like a place that'd sell parkas.

That's what it sounded like to me too! One opened near us recently and basically it is a store where everyhting is $5 or less.

At the age of 13, brand names mean a lot. Since a brand was mentioned and it's a reasonable request, I would have bought the brand.

 

[neatokimmo]

She might have also wanted a gift card to buy presents for other females in her family. Is it too late to go get her a giftcard?

 

[miztressuz]

But she didn't ask for Bath and Body Works lip gloss and lotion.

The OP says that the request was:

"lip gloss, lotions, Bath & Body Works gift card"

The only thing that is specified as Bath and Body Works is the gift card. The lip gloss and lotions are not specified.

that's exactly how i read it too. the girl didn't specify what type of lip gloss or lotion. since lip gloss and lotion are not considered necessities, i would think this is something she doesn't get ever and ANYTHING would be preferable to nothing. my experience is that kids ask for stuff they can't get normally on these angle tree things.

and just because the items were from 5 Below doesn't mean it wasn't a name brand item. 5 Below sells many things that can be found in other department stores for higher prices. they sell a bunch of crap too... but it's not outside the realm of possibility that the stuff could have been from Target or Kohls which is about the same level as Bath and Body Works. Really, BBW not a "high end" store - it's a step above Dial but it has some ways to go to be considered high end products.

in the end i'm bucking the popular opinion here and would have said the non BBW items were fine if that's all there was to give. even if it is the same stuff her parents would get her, that's still another month's supply (or whatever) she got for free and perhaps Mom can then use that money she would have spent to get a BBW product for the girl. something is generally better than nothing and the truly impoverished should appreciate anything they receive as its one less thing they have to spend their money on. (there's always exceptions who think beggars can be choosers, and stops me from definitely stating they do appreciate what they get - but i don't think that's the norm)

 

[lisaross]

How do u go about "adopting an angel"? i would love to do this next year!

 

[Marionnette]

How do u go about "adopting an angel"? i would love to do this next year!

JCPenney sponsors the Salvation Army Angel Tree online and that can be one of the easiest ways to donate. There are also Angel Trees set up in the various malls where you can pick a name tag. Some churches also sponsor trees in their lobby for members of the congregation in need (no names given) or for families in a sister church. I've also seen Angel Trees in smaller stores and hospitals.

The procedure is pretty much the same for each. You choose a name and then shop for that person. The tag will have age, gender, sizes and a couple of requests. One child I chose wanted a football sweatshirt. Another wanted clothes from Target and Old Navy. There's always a deadline that falls a week or more before Christmas for all gifts to be brought in for the Angel child. You usually do not wrap the gifts. The organization that does the Angel Tree takes care of distributing the gifts to the children.

 

[MrsToad]

I consider a giftcard request to a place like B&BW reasonable because part of the fun is picking your own scent. I really don't like cinnamon scents or other 'spiced' scents; others may not like floral sets.
This is not a kid asking for a $200 giftcard to Best Buy. This is a girl asking for some a card to a store where, with coupons, one can do well with $25. I'd buy the giftcard & make sure there were coupons with it. I'd even talk to B&BW & see if they had any special coupons we could throw in.

This is almost exactly what I was thinking. Just think of how fun it would be for this girl to pick out her own special scent.

Buying gift sets of these types of items can be tricky unless you already know the preferred scents, such as for your own family or close friends. If you don't know what the recipient will like, or what scents might be too strong for them, a gift card would seem like the better idea. I wouldn't want to cause disappointment in place of happiness by giving a gift the recipient can't use.

 

[kaytieeldr]

But she didn't ask for Bath and Body Works lip gloss and lotion.

The OP says that the request was:

"lip gloss, lotions, Bath & Body Works gift card"

The only thing that is specified as Bath and Body Works is the gift card. The lip gloss and lotions are not specified.

Exactly!!

I was thinking, as most of you, that if a partiuclar item is asked for that a cheap replacement is not really the solution. Again we are not talking about game systems or iPods.

As the above-quoted poster points out, the gift giver purchased what the girl requested. She didn't ask for B&BW lip glosses and bath gels; she didnt't specify any brand at all.

 

[Swan4Me]

My mother LOVES Bath and Bodyworks. She brags all the time how she uses nothing else but Bath and Bodyworks. She even brags about Bath and Bodyworks while my wife is opening her Dollar Store body lotion garbage that my mother gets her.

Tried to get her just not to get us anything for Christmas without actually saying, "you could save yet another $1 because we throw it all away...."

Of course my mother gets my wife something else also. My wife wears a 2XL and mom always gets her a sweater or shirt in petite medium. It is very obvious that not even our daughter would wear a petite medium, let alone my wife. Perhaps one of you girls could explain the thought process of my mother, because I don't understand it at all.

wow-2xl is a big gal-and your Mother knows it

 

[Sagginit]

i used to do one of these at work. it was always problematic because people meant well but they would pick a person and at least one person did not get what was requested. the items were going to a woman's shelter so this left the organizer in a pickle, because one or two people were going to get just some random item when everyone opened gifts. i do think it defeats the purpose. as posters said, some of these teens could get generic sets at walmart or value stores themselves, but this was a chance to get something special and something i am sure all their more fortunate friends have. who knows why the person did, i am sure you will never know.