Getting my daughter to bundle up

[NewRVLady]

something is not right with this.

the rule

I would make sure she has a vest or warm sweater on-one of my sons does NOT like a heavy jacket-he's an adult

 

[gotomu212]

I really really don't mean to minimize thIs but honestly if this was the biggest issue I had when my son was 6 I'd count myself lucky and move on. For me personally I learned that I simply couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything. Trying to would make everyone miserable and set up a "test of wills" environment. I am by no means a lax parent but I determined what I thought was important (and everything can't be important) and then I let the little things go.

If she's got the coat on, let it go. Zipped or not- I think you let a little annoyance spin out and youre really in the weeds. If you are asking other people to report back on the zipper status and physically zipping it while she ignores you for a simple trip to school and not across Siberia I think you might dial it back.

 

[aaarcher86]

I really really don't mean to minimize thIs but honestly if this was the biggest issue I had when my son was 6 I'd count myself lucky and move on. For me personally I learned that I simply couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything. Trying to would make everyone miserable and set up a "test of wills" environment. I am by no means a lax parent but I determined what I thought was important (and everything can't be important) and then I let the little things go.

If she's got the coat on, let it go. Zipped or not- I think you let a little annoyance spin out and youre really in the weeds. If you are asking other people to report back on the zipper status and physically zipping it while she ignores you for a simple trip to school and not across Siberia I think you might dial it back.

Amen.

I'm super strict with my kids - please/thank you, not being a terror in public, not talking back, etc.... zipping a coat? No I'm good.

My 8 year old went out to play the other day. I can't remember if she had a coat or not, but I remember telling her it was cold. Guess who was back inside a few minutes later getting gloves? *spoiler alert* The 8 year old.

 

[Magpie]

So does that mean I am wrong to zip it myself if she ignores me?

"Wrong" is screaming, berating, humiliating or smacking. Calmly zipping her up in a no-nonsense kind of way, is not wrong. If you've got to be out the door in five minutes, and if you believe so strongly she needs to be zipped up, then obviously you've got no other choice but to zip her up. So, just do it. (But make sure you never accidentally zip the skin of her chin into her jacket, or you'll never hear the end of it.)

You can save the lesson (where you wait for her to realize you aren't going anywhere unless she's in her jacket) for another time when you aren't in a big rush to get out the door.

Me, with my kids, I'd likely add a snarky comment along the lines of, "Oh... I didn't realize you were still too little to zip up your jacket all by yourself. Here, let me help you!" That kind of thing drove my kids nuts, and was probably very wrong of me. But it gave me great joy, so I did it anyway. (Both of my kids have a strong, "BACK OFF! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" streak - I can't imagine why. )

 

[littleblackegg]

I don't think this issue is really about being warm. I think it is about how we are socialized to understand respect. I have often worked with children who are considered disrespectful by their family members. Often times, this has more to do with what is considered respectful by parents. Some parents see a child not wanting to wear a certain shirt as disrespectful. Or get punished for not saying "sir." These phenomenon are cultural. There are parents out there who believe they can give instructions every day and that their kids will follow them just because they were told to do so. Kids are people. They develop tastes and preferences early. Allowing them to explore these choices in relative safety helps them develop skills and critical thinking. I guess you can MAKE them do things, but I'd save that for the really dangerous stuff. I learned early in my career that, in order to have children cooperate with me, I had to pick my battles carefully.

 

[VandVsmama]

I find it kind of funny how this has now turned into a 5-page thread about whether or not it's wrong to make your 6 year old zip up a jacket in cold weather.

 

[mom2rtk]

I find it kind of funny how this has now turned into a 5-page thread about whether or not it's wrong to make your 6 year old zip up a jacket in cold weather.

Hey, things have been a little slow lately.

 

[BLAZEY]

My daughter is also six years old. She has gloves in her back pack as well as her coat pockets and a hood on her coat. If she gets cold or wet she'll use them but she has to take them. 9/10 she puts them on as she gets cold. Natural consequences seem to be the most effective in my experience.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I have already said that I don't like the "learn from natural consequences" rule because I think its too dangerous to her health, just imagine going outside in 90+ mph winds with either no jacket on or the jacket unzipped!!

Why the hell are you sending a six year old outside in hurricane force winds??????

 

[LiveYourLife]

The 90 MPH winds comment made me think of this.....

 

[TipsyTraveler]

The 90 MPH winds comment made me think of this.....

And she's still not wearing gloves.

 

[Rhona 07]

Why the hell are you sending a six year old outside in hurricane force winds??????

She does have to go to school so that's why and can I ask you kindly not to use that tone with me!!!

 

[debster812]

OP--clearly you have your mind made up, and that your daughter must be zipped up at all times, so I'm not really sure why you came here looking for opinions/advice (interesting 1st post on a Disney message board, by the way). So, you're the grown-up, she's the child, zip her up before you leave the house, and ask her teachers/aides to make sure she's zipped if they are outdoors at school.

I live in the NE US, where we've had school cancelled because it was so cold the diesel in the school busses turned to gel, so there was no way to transport the kids. To say nothing of frigid and sub zero temps. It's not a battle I EVER chose to engage in with my son. He is now an 18 year old college freshman who will actually wear a coat, bundle up, and put on a hat when it's cold enough.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

She does have to go to school so that's why and can I ask you kindly not to use that tone with me!!!

I'm curious about the winds though. Even if they were a regular occurrence, maybe we are wimps in the US--but gusts like that are dangerous. EXTREMELY dangerous.

I am genuinely curious. Came up with this article for such a weather event and it seems that your Hurricane Centre takes it quite seriously.

http://news.sky.com/story/1585575/first-named-storm-set-to-bring-90mph-winds

And here is a weather report on that event. It seems quite unusual and not a standard weather situation.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/video/science/gusts-could-reach-90mph/vp-BBmV4yi

So it stands to reason why folks are curious about the winds and why you would send a child out in them. Around here, such storms are not common occurrences. When they do happen as part of a winter or tropical system and school was intended to be in session, it often is not. When travel to school is too dangerous, it is too dangerous. It seems Scotland has similar protocols: http://www.newsforscotland.com/news/90mph-storm-henry-gusts-close-schools-and-disrupt-travel

And to answer another poster's question, it does appear that winds are measured in mph in Scotland.

And yes, this was all about zippering a 6 year old's jacket. I would guess that you misspoke or simply have an alternative plan on dealing with that extreme wind situation. Because it does not seem you could have sent her to school in such a circumstance even if you wanted to.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

OP--clearly you have your mind made up, and that your daughter must be zipped up at all times, so I'm not really sure why you came here looking for opinions/advice (interesting 1st post on a Disney message board, by the way). So, you're the grown-up, she's the child, zip her up before you leave the house, and ask her teachers/aides to make sure she's zipped if they are outdoors at school.

I live in the NE US, where we've had school cancelled because it was so cold the diesel in the school busses turned to gel, so there was no way to transport the kids. To say nothing of frigid and sub zero temps. It's not a battle I EVER chose to engage in with my son. He is now an 18 year old college freshman who will actually wear a coat, bundle up, and put on a hat when it's cold enough.

But did you have problems with him wanting to wear booty shorts at 16?

 

[debster812]

But did you have problems with him wanting to wear booty shorts at 16?

Bwahahaha--he prefers that his shorts cover his knees, and he truly is super modest. He's joined the club rowing team at school, and his exact words were "Mom, I don't know if I can embrace quite this much spandex". So no, no booty shorts around these parts.

 

[aaarcher86]

But did you have problems with him wanting to wear booty shorts at 16?

I feel as though this is the real issue here...

 

[Magpie]

She does have to go to school so that's why and can I ask you kindly not to use that tone with me!!!

You forgot the 'winky' face. See?

Winky faces let everyone know you're being all ironical and jocular, and just pretending to sound like you're dressing us down the way you'd dress down your sassy six year old, and not actually shouting at people and taking offence at being teased for claiming you've got hurricane force winds.

By the way, winds that strong could pick your daughter up and fling her into the sea, making the question of whether or not she's zipped up her jacket a completely moot point. This is what 90 mile per hour winds look like:

Though even this might be exaggerating the wind speed somewhat, considering what this link has to say about 90mph winds: http://www.marinewaypoints.com/marine/wind.shtml

90mph is an F1 Tornado: "Moderate Damage - Automobiles overturned, carports destroyed, trees uprooted, peels surface off roofs, mobile homes pushed off foundations or overturned, moving autos pushed off the roads." Sounds like school's cancelled!

 

[Jaya]

Bwahahaha--he prefers that his shorts cover his knees, and he truly is super modest. He's joined the club rowing team at school, and his exact words were "Mom, I don't know if I can embrace quite this much spandex". So no, no booty shorts around these parts.

Oh, lord, I can just see the headline. "16 year old dressed in booty shorts freezes to death while rowing to school during 80 mph winds. Mother explains, 'I TOLD his coach to make sure he zipped up his jacket!'" Should go viral.

 

[Magpie]

<edited>

Aw... actually, I was kind of hoping to make you see the silliness of it all. Share a chuckle. We all know you didn't actually mean you've got hurricane force winds. This is no different than the ribbing another poster got for using "lemur" instead of "lemming", or I got when I mixed up ovaries with cervixes. We all say hilarious things sometimes.

And look, it honestly doesn't matter that much. You've gotten some good parenting advice in this thread. Use it, or don't, as you choose. If you find yourself getting genuinely upset, it may be time to step away from the boards and take a breather.

I do that, on a semi-regular basis!