Getting married where?!

[DisneyJules]

Hey guys, my sister is getting married next year and finally decided upon a location, she chose.....Lisbon :O Now, I'm sure it'll be gorgeous! but it's going to be so damn expensive! I feel guilty saying this, but it bothers me that she chose a location as far as Europe, where we're all going to have to shell out so much dough. I don't think I'd feel right doing that to my guests and family. My dad's going to have to pay for himself, our stepmother and two younger siblings to attend. I'm sure he's going to be thrilled when he learns where she's getting married Has anyone been to Lisbon? Any advice that you could offer?

 

[DisneyJules]

*bump* anyone?

 

[SandraVB79]

Well, Lisbon is one of the cheaper places to go in Europe

I feel sorry for you, because Europe is quite expensive for you Americans right now. And I never got that destination wedding thing... Has she, btw, already checked out if it is possible to get married there? One of the reasons DLP doesn't have a fairytale wedding department is because you have to live a couple of months in France before you can get married there...

 

[SandraVB79]

Oh, something else, the past couple of years, half of Portugal has always been on fire during the summer months. Just so you know...

 

[golfgal]

I don't understand the destination wedding thing either, sorry. My boss had a destination wedding, very expensive hotels, dresses, etc. I think one of her friends said it cost them over $1000 just to GO to the wedding and that was here in the US. My boss then complained that they didn't get very good presents (never mind they have their house completely decorated already and the whole destination thing).

 

[LoraJ]

We had a destination wedding, but all of our family is spread out all over the country, so they would have had to travel anyway. We kept it in the states though.

Maybe she'll work with a travel agent and be able to get group discounts for you all?

I've never been to Lisbon, but will hopefully stop there on a cruise next year.

 

[castleview]

I'm amazed at people who choose a destination wedding and get mad when their guests can't make it. If you want to go away for your wedding (and I would do that if I could do it again, believe me!), think of it as eloping...and if anyone wants to come along great!

 

[Laura]

Nobody has to attend a destination wedding. If you don't want to pay the money to go there, don't.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nobody has to attend a destination wedding. If you don't want to pay the money to go there, don't.

Great idea in theory but when it is your sister you don't really have too much choice unless you want to start a family war.

My personal opinion is that while it may be "your" day, if you want people to come then you need to take your guests into consideration. YMMV.

 

[DisneyJules]

Great idea in theory but when it is your sister you don't really have too much choice unless you want to start a family war.

My personal opinion is that while it may be "your" day, if you want people to come then you need to take your guests into consideration. YMMV.

Exactly!! I guess, I just feel like it's a little selfish to expect everyone to pay SO much for your wedding. If they had it here, I could buy them a really amazing wedding gift and I know my parents would help them out with the cost of the wedding. But since everyone is going to be paying so much for themselves, that's out of the question.
I feel like my sister sees it as a way of keeping costs down for them. And of course, I eventually wanted to go to Europe but I'm not sure where I'll be financially next year. I'm just finishing up University this year and when talking to her yesterday, it sounded as if we'll all be paying a little over $2000. And if you're already going ALL the way to Europe, who's going to stay for just a week?

 

[ilisao]

Exactly!! I guess, I just feel like it's a little selfish to expect everyone to pay SO much for your wedding. If they had it here, I could buy them a really amazing wedding gift and I know my parents would help them out with the cost of the wedding. But since everyone is going to be paying so much for themselves, that's out of the question.
I feel like my sister sees it as a way of keeping costs down for them. And of course, I eventually wanted to go to Europe but I'm not sure where I'll be financially next year. I'm just finishing up University this year and when talking to her yesterday, it sounded as if we'll all be paying a little over $2000. And if you're already going ALL the way to Europe, who's going to stay for just a week?[/QUOTE]

Ummm, many people. My family, for example. It's not another planet. Pick one country and visit it for a week.

If you can't go, you can't go. Your sister can't expect you to go if you can't afford it. If she gets all bent out of shape, that's her problem to get over.

 

[golfgal]

Nobody has to attend a destination wedding. If you don't want to pay the money to go there, don't.

That's right, they don't have to go but then don't get upset and complain for the rest of your life that your sister didn't come to your wedding, which is what usually happens.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

Have a talk with your sister. Tell her that you know it's her special day and you want everything to be perfect for her. But that you don't know if you'll have that kind of money needed to travel that far.

Feel her out, see how she takes it.

 

[Pigeon]

There is no way I'd attend that wedding, even if it was for my sister. When you decide to have a "destination" wedding, you have to realize that the message to the guests is that we really don't care if you attend or not.

 

[DisneyJules]

I've already brought up that I found it to be very expensive and she gets horribly defensive over the subject. It puts me in a bind because I'm her twin sister, her maid of honor, and I have little choice when it comes to not going. I would not miss my sister's wedding. And while I have money saved up in the bank, I guess I'm feeling forced to spend it in a way that I would not normally choose. She wanted a small wedding and didn't want ALL the aunts and uncles coming, which is why she's chosen to get married so far away.

 

[suzannen]

I've not been to Lisbon but friends of ours go with their 4 children every summer for two months because they find it so inexpensive and they say they can vacation better and cheaper there than the in US. I can't personally verify it's true, but they've done this for the 10 years I've known them, so maybe it won't be as bad as you think.

As far as destination weddings, since my family is so spread all over the place - every wedding in our family becomes a destination wedding for a majority of the family, no big deal here.

 

[okeydokey]

She should realize that if people pay outrageous $ to go to her wedding, then there may be no wedding presents from those people. If I had to clean out my savings account to attend, my attendance would be the gift.

 

[RadioNate]

Oh great - another thread bashing those who have destination weddings.

 

[eeyore65]

I have been to Lisbon. It is beautiful and very inexpensive for Europe. The food (especially fish) is fantastic. I also really loved the local wines - there were varietals I have never had any where else in the world. All great port is made there and the selection is amazing. They are also known for their beautiful hand made tiles. They are every where and lovely.

I won't comment on the destination wedding - but I think you will enjoy Lisbon and the lovely friendly people.

 

[Laura]

Great idea in theory but when it is your sister you don't really have too much choice unless you want to start a family war.

My personal opinion is that while it may be "your" day, if you want people to come then you need to take your guests into consideration. YMMV.

That's right, they don't have to go but then don't get upset and complain for the rest of your life that your sister didn't come to your wedding, which is what usually happens.

If the bride is going to be that way, that's her problem, not the guests'. An invitation is not a command.

Sometimes this is how a couple cuts down on their guest list. Personally, I could have done without all the gawkers at my wedding, some of whom I hadn't seen in years.