Where were we?
Oh yeah. In the air conditioning.
The Nemo show at Animal Kingdom lasts about 30 minutes, during which you happily acclimate to the wonderfully cool and crisp environment. When it is over, they ruthlessly throw open the doors to the non-air conditioned world and the heat hits you like solid wall. Omigod, you think, Im going to die. Right here. At Disney.
But then, you dont die. You get shoved into a giant horde of people, not all of whom put on deodorant that morning, where you rub elbows with a million other warm, sweaty bodies who all have the same goal: push, push, push outside!
And then? Then, you might WISH you were dead. But you are not. You are very much alive, and you are sweating your little butt off and wishing you were surrounded by an invisible force field.
With an hour to kill before our Everest fast passes and two hours to kill before lunch, we headed over to Dinosaur which was close, and air conditioned. Seems all of our Nemo companions had the same idea, because the wait was up to 40 minutes. Yes, I made fun of the Everest people. But you know what? Most of this wait took place indoors. So whos laughing now, huh? Probably the people who go to Disney in September.
I love Dinosaur. Sarah liked it when we rode it during her last trip as well. Cameron, being an Animal Kingdom noob, had never been on it and thus inherited the outside seat.
If you have not been on this ride yet, I highly recommend the outside seat. Trouble is, I can never remember which outside seat is that outside seat, and for some reason I ALWAYS end up in the other one. Including this time. And I flinch.
Every.
Single.
Time.
The pictures are always funny. Im the only one who ever looks like theyre about to pee.
Did the wait say 40 minutes? It was more like 20. And the stinkin Everest fast passes were STILL not for another 20 minutes. For crying out loud, how do we waste some time around here? We thought about Primeval Whirl, but I am not willing to wait more than ten minutes for a ride that lasts approximately one. So what are two geek girls to do but go shopping for potato head parts in the Dinoland Toy Store?
But first, a photo:
He saved us, so he is our friend!
Sarah and I are self-confessed Mr Potato Head junkies. During her last trip, we each filled a box. I made Tinkerbell:
I guess I was delusional in thinking that they would have a whole new line of tater parts since our visit in March
after all, stick with what works, right? So instead we did what geeks in Disney stores do: we tried on Stitch hands and silly hats.
Would you believe we have not a single photo of this?
Well, the store only killed about ten minutes so the guys had a brilliant idea: why not walk over to the Safari to get fast passes for after lunch while the girls hung out in the air conditioned Everest shop? I thought this might not work, because our Rainforest Cafe reservations were for an hour from then, and I was certain the fast pass times would fall over the duration of lunch. But, I didnt say a word. Which, in retrospect, was a mistake. Because when they came back, and told me the fast passes fell over lunchtime? I missed my opportunity to say I told you so.
Blast!
No matter, because it was FINALLY Everest time. I never, ever get tired of this coaster. Its fun, its fast, its full of unusual things, and it doesnt give me a headache like Big Thunder does. Plus, the Yeti is just so cool! Sarah, Lionel and I, the veterans, always feel the need to shout stupid things like oh no, the track is broken! Where will we go? Yes, we are THOSE PEOPLE. Cameron, of course, did not know where we WERE going to go. I think the next part surprised him a bit because Im pretty sure I heard him shriek. Wheeeeeee!
With Everest finished, we still had 30 minutes to kill before lunch. Now I know why we never make plans like this. So much waiting! Erica hates to wait! We opted to try Safari fast passes again and this time successfully got the estimated post-lunch hour that we were hoping for. I told you so! Oh, wait. I didnt. Blast again.
We were ready for a break from the heat again, and starting to get a little worn down, so my brilliant husband suggested we try to get in early at the Rainforest Café. Did I mention I love this man?
We were shuffled to the reservations line with the promise of seating within ten minutes. In the meantime, I checked out the décor. Ive only ever been to the Rainforest Café once, and it was the one in Downtown Disney waaaaaaay back when it originally opened. I remember thinking it was pretty neat, and I was not disappointed by the giant aquariums and the swinging monkeys.
There we were, enjoying our air-conditioned wait amongst the yellow tangs, when SHE came. She was a brash woman who appeared to be in her mid forties, and who I suspect had never cracked a smile in her life. She pushed her way through the non-reservation line, back towards the podium.
You never gave me a ticket! They dont know who I am! You told me to go to the front of the line, but you didnt give me a ticket!
And then, her chest opened up and an alien burst from it, devouring another customers head before disappearing back beneath her shirt.
I need a ticket!
The poor guy at the podium had the patience of a saint. Maam, I am very sorry. I assumed you were with the party in front of you, because you walked right behind them.
Well, I wasnt! I was just going where YOU told me to go!
Im very sorry about that. Here is your ticket.
Well NOW Im even FURTHER back in the line! The alien popped out again, but this time the crowd was wise and had given her a three-foot radius of clear space. Clearly disappointed, it disappeared again. She pushed her way back to the front of the line, as other customers leapt out of her path to give her plenty of room. I whispered to Lionel, so as not to disturb the demon hiding in her chest cavity. Im so glad shes not MY mom.
Smith? Party of six?
The woman charged the hostess. What did you say???
I said Smith. Party of six.
Did you say Xera, Goddess of Darkness?
No. I said Smith. Party of six
.
Ive never seen a party more reluctant to show themselves to be seated in my entire lives.
Things seemed to calm down quickly after that, and we sat in an area surrounded by monkeys. Let me tell you, the monkeys are pretty novel at first. Even the elephant seems pretty cool. But after about 20 minutes? I wanted to put a gag on every single animatronic in that place, and even some of the wait staff. Because the noise is overwhelming. And when the monkeys finally shut up? The entire restaurant seemed to be shouting VOLCANOOOOOOOOO! Volcano, we figured out, is their signature dessert. And to our displeasure, everyone in the place seemed to want one. Volcanoes to the left, monkeys to the right, and an overpriced mediocre lunch in front of me. I wasnt impressed.
I wanted to take Sarah to a fun place for lunch, but all I ended up doing was give everyone a headache. What a bummer. Next time I spend $50 on burgers and fries? It wont be at the Rainforest Cafe. From now on, well stick with the Tusker House.
Next up? The closest I have ever been to a giraffe!