Geeks on a boat! Disney Wonder Sept 3-7, adventures in alcohol....

[dallastxcpa]

Our first cruise is scheduled for January 4th and I am sooooo looking forward to it after reading your report. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.

 

[zweihund]

Thanks for your patience! I have the next installment ready to go. There will be one more after this one.

As a small aside, I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and kind words about my report. DH has been encouraging me for the last few years (since his DBF days, in fact) to do more with my writing "talent" and doing this report has re-awakened the passion in me. I was at a course this week where we all had to pick something we would like to pursue, and I chose writing. Nothing major....a little freelance article submission, perhaps, or maybe even some kind of sarcastic reviews. But still, had I not gotten such a positive response from the DISers here, I might never have considered the possibility of taking this any further.

So, thanks.

Ok, without further ado....here is the next installment.

 

[taeja71]

Thanks for your patience! I have the next installment ready to go. There will be one more after this one.

As a small aside, I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and kind words about my report. DH has been encouraging me for the last few years (since his DBF days, in fact) to do more with my writing "talent" and doing this report has re-awakened the passion in me. I was at a course this week where we all had to pick something we would like to pursue, and I chose writing. Nothing major....a little freelance article submission, perhaps, or maybe even some kind of sarcastic reviews. But still, had I not gotten such a positive response from the DISers here, I might never have considered the possibility of taking this any further.

So, thanks.

Ok, without further ado....here is the next installment.

Hooray for Erica!

 

[zweihund]

Chapter Ten: Erica's hour of COMPLETE AND UTTER disorganization.

Post scary-but-relaxing spa experience, we drift back out to collect our KKTW cards and I notice a stack of papers on the counter which describe many of the experiences available. And let me tell you this: they were a million times better than what we saw online. The kicker is, most of them were also much, much cheaper. GAH! No one told us you could sign up for special pampering for only about $100! No one told us about the daily specials! Heck, I would have spent the entire cruise in the spa and totally SKIPPED the alcohol had I been aware of this prior to 5 pm on the sea day!

I grabbed a paper and took it with me as evidence. I had in my paws the FULL ITENARARY for our next vacation, and it started with the “Traveler’s Tension” – 25 minutes of neck and shoulder massage, Indian scalp massage AND pressure point foot massage for $99. Or what about a “spa taster”? A 25 minute facial followed by 25 minutes of back, shoulder and neck massage for $109. WE GOT ROBBED! CALL THE POLICE! Mind you, both of our treatments cost less than that but still…..I was very disappointed in my bargain-hunting skills for not knowing about this ahead of time. I definitely would have spent a lot more time in the spa. Now, I probably would have still spent about the same amount of time drinking, in all honesty. I could have been a much more relaxed drunk, I tell you. Curses!

Back at the room, we had a choice: nap, or go and see Disney Dreams – the show we REALLY had not seen yet but had wanted to the last time we cruised. Lionel was quick to point out that there was NO mention of a red carpet in the Navigator. I told him that I did not know what he was talking about. In the end, we opted to go and see the show.

As a little aside, this was the only day in which we did not take a little nap. I highly recommend little naps. Little naps keep you feeling energized, help you sleep off the after-effects of alcohol, and prevent crankiness. Can you tell what’s coming? Wait for it.

The show was very very good, and not quite what I was expecting. Again, sappy Erica reared her sniffling head and declared that she was just fine, there was just something in her eye. Disney Dreams is all about a little girl finding her own magic. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so I will just say that I was very impressed. And sniffly. But then again, there was something in my eye.

Now, the show might have affected me more had we not been sitting next to the obviously-bored-teenagers. I assumed these OBT’s were with their parents, and was annoyed that they were not shushing them for rudely talking throughout the ENTIRE beginning sequence. Then their Mom walked in, and I understood everything.

Let me set up the scene for you: we were in the left side of the theatre, in the second tier of seats, right on the end, and one row up from the aisle that ran between the front and rear of the theatre. The three teens were seated to our right. The seats in front of us were occupied by a large family who were all very excited about their kids seeing the show. And in walks Mom, about 15 minutes after the production began, looking around for her kids.

From next to us, we get “Mom! MOM! Over here!” She heard them, and walked up to where we were all seated…..and then just STOOD THERE and started talking to them, RIGHT IN FRONT of the family seated in the row in front of us. For like FIVE MINUTES! At one point, she had the gall to say “excuse me” to the family and LEAN OVER THEM so that she could hear her kids better. Are you kidding me? This is what you are teaching your children? No wonder they were being so rude – look at their example? But it got better. ANOTHER adult from their family, who I assumed to be either their Aunt or the mother of one of the three, came down the aisle to our left and started talking to them from THERE! So now we are sitting there, conversations going on all around us, and I’m getting very agitated. I can still hear the show, by some grace, but the obliviousness of their family is really starting to get to me. Also starting to get to me were the very young children in the audience who were starting to cry in that tantrum-throwing way, as their parents merely said “shhhhh” and stayed in their seats. Ok, NOW I can’t hear the show. NOW I am REALLY agitated.
No nap, remember?

This is only the minor rant of someone who does not yet have children and who does not fully understand what it feels like to be on the other end, but who hopes she will never become one of “those people”. Not the “those people” who are drunk on a family cruise, she is already THAT. I mean “those people” who: talk loudly. Kick the seats. Lean over you. Let their children throw tantrums and pretend that nothing is happening. Basically, “those people” are the ones who don’t care if they are ruining the experience for anyone else, because they have just as much of a right to enjoy a show as anyone else, and therefore they can do whatever they want in that theatre and if you have a problem with it then why don’t you just leave?

Ahem.
Sorry. Remember, I did not have my nap.

So back to the show. The rude mother FINALLY sat down, the lady in the aisle FINALLY stopped talking, and the screaming children FINALLY fell asleep and I was FINALLY able to go on sniffling at this wonderful show and pretending that there was something in my eye. There totally was!

Steve and April ended up coming in to the theatre at some point and were sitting on the steps right next to us, but were so graciously quiet that we never even knew they were there! Afterwards, we figured we would leisurely stroll around the boat until dinnertime, and then maybe do a few of the little things we had left: go to Shutters, check out the rates for booking a 7-day onboard, pack, grab a few last-minute things at the shop, and get the tip envelopes from guest services. No problem! We were on Island time.

Lovely pics of us out on deck, before we realized that Disney does not operate on Island time:

Aww, look how happy we were.

At that moment, Lionel looked at his lovely Disney-themed Skaagen watch (remember: drunk shopping BAD!) and discovered that we had an HOUR in which to do ALL OF THAT.
And now, it was time to panic.

After I panicked (I’m very efficient, it doesn’t take me very long) we made a gameplan: first, buy my “tin crack” (pins). I mean, I had priorities. Then, we would split up – I would go to Shutters, Lionel would go to guest services, we would synchronize our watches and meet up again on deck four at the reservations desk. Go, team Jacques! We had a handshake and everything.
Geeks on a boat.

I passed the reservation deck on my way to shutters and notice the mile was approximately 8 MILLION MILES LONG (I measured). Hmm. Time for an executive decision. Change plan to: Lionel stays at guest services, I go to Shutters, and then I run BACK to the reservation desk and fill out the quote request form to drop in the box. It was a long shot, but worth a try. Lionel met me at the reservations desk as I dropped the form in the box. “You don’t want to do that in person?” I pointed to the line. “They’re not there for quotes; they’re just sitting in the chairs! Right?” I pointed to the quote request forms in their hands. “Aw, crap.” Indeed.

We checked our time and realized there were only 20 minutes remaining until dinner time. Oh, and we needed to get our cabin Steward his envelope! Aaaaahhhh! Commence running upstairs! Go Go Go! Deploy! Deploy!

We walk in on Made who has just made our towel lobster. He looked startled. “Back from dinner already?” We apologized and said no, we just wanted to drop our tin crack and photos off in the room and give him his gratuity envelope in person. Love to stay and chat about how wonderful you were, Made, but we have some booze to drink down in Animator’s Palate. Cheerio!

Steve and April did not know much about the “show” at AP, so Lionel and I were making a desperate attempt not to spill the beans. Once we discovered that they KNEW the room turned to color, we started giving them all of the background on the room we had learned from the Travel Channel’s DCL special which we had seen approximately 8 million times (I counted). Did you know the meal and the show is timed with the music? Did you know there were two walls? Did you know they use only light to simulate the painting of the room? Huh? Huh?

You know, Steve actually ordered a drink that night. I wonder why?

After we were done spouting out INCREDIBLY INTERESTING THINGS, I turned to Lionel to make the plans for how everything would go after dinner. I think that is when I actually uttered the fateful words “it should only take me about 20 minutes to pack.” I believed them, too. And that was before I had my first glass of wine.

Dinner was fantastic, and the show was great. We had almost forgotten about the very first night at Parrot Cay when we were asked if we were celebrating anything special, and then THEY came. Singing. Clapping. Toting a cake. “Happy Anniversary!” they shouted with Disney glee. Oh, snap.

Ok, it wasn’t that bad. The song was short, the cake was pretty scrum-dilly-iscious and we got some cute little buttons that said "I celebrated somethins special!" I just had things I needed to do and they were slowing me down! The animation show had made dinner go on much later than I had anticipated, and according to the Mickey watch of justice, I had 30 minutes to pack. Ack! I picked up my glass of ice wine (my special last-night treat) and looked at Lionel, who understood that his wife had now entered task mode and he was not to stand in her way. He excused me from the table, and I told April and Steve I would see them in about 20 minutes.

HAH! 20 minutes!

I had remembered leaving our belongings and a very organized state, knowing exactly where everything was and even having the foresight to set aside all of the dirty clothes in an open space-bag. As I climbed the stairs to our cabin, I thought “how wonderful that I am such an organized woman that this last-minute packing would be a piece of cake.” I pictured Moms all over the boat scrambling, and smiled to myself. I was not like them. I was PREPARED.

I’m not sure how many glasses I had downed by then, but my memory apparently wasn’t as clear as I had thought. For when I opened the cabin door, what did I see? Papers strewn everywhere. Clothing from earlier in the day piled on the floor. Shoes out on the veranda. Toiletries lining the sink. Oh, and all of that crap we just bought a few hours ago. CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!

By the time Lionel got back to the room 10 minutes later, I was in a complete and utter frenzy. He made the mistake of asking if he could help, and I made the mistake of snapping at him to get to work. And then he made the mistake OVER AND OVER again of asking me questions while I was in the middle of this packing frenzy.
A lesson to all of you gentlemen out there – when your lady is freaking out and in severe task mode, that is NOT the time to ask her any questions that start with the words where, what, how or why. Understood? Examples:

“Babe, where does this battery charger go?”
“What is this thing?”
“Do you need this?”
“Where should I put this?”
“What happened to the other thing?”

Each question he asked me was met with a very loud sigh and a very sharp answer. I was BUSY, couldn’t he see that? We had 10 minutes to go and I had not packed any of the dirty clothes up yet! In his defense, I had a strange way of packing and he was just trying to save himself a speech on the importance of proper folding and shoe-arranging the next morning. And believe me, he would have gotten it. “Why would anyone put shoes on the opposite sides of the suitcase, that is just ridiculous” and so on…..

That was the shortest 20 minutes of my entire life and for the duration of it I feared we would be stuck lugging these two bags around with us the next morning and being miserable. But we made it. Just barely. In fact, we had only just put the suitcases out in the hall when I discovered my highlighters sitting on the desk. I opened the door to throw them in one of the bags, but Made was apparently the luggage ninja and they had already vanished.

I re-entered the cabin and breathed a sigh of relief, kissed my husband and apologized for being a packing nazi, and downed my ice wine in one gulp. So much for savoring the fine beverage.

Oh, Ice Wine, you will be sorely missed. I will surely not be seeing you again until the Food and Wine Festival. But until then, I will think fondly of you, and wish that our time together could have lasted just a bit longer.

Exhausted, we wandered next door to check on Steve and April, who had apparently been going through the exact same thing. We left them to relax in their room, and opted to take one last wander up to the deck.

Coming next – the story gets really sappy. Well, you know - sappy for geeks.

 

[jns]

Great report again

wish I had your Talant

 

[taeja71]

Great report again

wish I had your Talant

Are you going back on the Magic?

 

[zweihund]

Great report again

wish I had your Talant

Ooooooh, jaffa cakes! *drools*
Thanks for the kind words

 

[tjeagle]

I mean “those people” who: talk loudly. Kick the seats. Lean over you. Let their children throw tantrums and pretend that nothing is happening. Basically, “those people” are the ones who don’t care if they are ruining the experience for anyone else, because they have just as much of a right to enjoy a show as anyone else, and therefore they can do whatever they want in that theatre and if you have a problem with it then why don’t you just leave?

AMEN SISTA!!
I do have children....and I have left many a store/resturant/movie/theater/hairdresser/friends home/supermarket/postoffice....well you get the point!!

LOVE YOUR REPORT!!

 

[dallastxcpa]

I agree it is called consideration. My now 10 year old daughters first trip to WDW was when she was 3. I missed every show that year. We would get 5 minutes in and they were just too loud/scary for her. We returned a year later and all was well.

My personal worst experience was in 04 my husband and I went alone for our BDays and we ate on his BDay at the Yachtsmen Anyway the couple next to us had a four year old that they were letting run laps around the table. Never again. I told my husband that if we ever encounter something like that again I WILL ask to be moved.

AMEN SISTA!!
I do have children....and I have left many a store/resturant/movie/theater/hairdresser/friends home/supermarket/postoffice....well you get the point!!

LOVE YOUR REPORT!!

 

[zweihund]

I agree it is called consideration. My now 10 year old daughters first trip to WDW was when she was 3. I missed every show that year. We would get 5 minutes in and they were just too loud/scary for her. We returned a year later and all was well.

My personal worst experience was in 04 my husband and I went alone for our BDays and we ate on his BDay at the Yachtsmen Anyway the couple next to us had a four year old that they were letting run laps around the table. Never again. I told my husband that if we ever encounter something like that again I WILL ask to be moved.

My husband used to wait tables there (up until 2001)! I can't imagine letting a child run through that restaurant. I'm all for kids being kids, and I can't wait to have them, and I KNOW they make noise at inopportune times.....but I can't imagine that I would ever put MY experience above everyone else in the entire restaurant.

Of course.....I talk a big game never having been in that situation myself. I just hope that I can be strong when it happens to me.

 

[ImMarcik]

Great trip report, I've had a lot of laughs Can't wait to read the rest.

 

[zweihund]

Great trip report, I've had a lot of laughs Can't wait to read the rest.

Thank you!
And I love Cosmo's photos, he looks like he's had some fun times.

 

[Trimmie]

Zweihund (Erica), from the way it sounds, you will NOT be one of "THOSE" parents. I never wanted to be and, now that I have my own, we BOTH are VERY much aware if our DD's behavior is getting out of hand and we WILL and HAVE given her "the hook" (aka remove from the scene quickly).

We've only had to do it a few times but the MAIN culprits are: 1) being tired or 2) being hungry and, if BOTH tired and hungry,.............LOOK OUT!!!

BTW, GREAT trip report!!!

 

[saratogagirl]

This has got to be one of the funniest trip reports that I've ever read I wish you were coming on our January Cruise, it's refreshing to meet another diser who clearly enjoys her drink

Just a quick question, for the Palo brunch and high tea, were they only offered on the day at sea ? or are they on other days as well ? Did they both cost $10 a head ? and what is the suggested tip to leave ?

Thanks, and I can't wait to read some more

Mandy

Fab trip report, so funy - Mandy you should cruise with me and Ian and then we can all drink together

 

[Disneygrl36]

Did you know ahead of time that this was going to be offered on your 4 night cruise? My hubby & I love afternoon tea & this would be a great surprise if we could experience it on our 4 night cruise.

P.S. I have really enjoyed reading your report.

 

[zweihund]

Did you know ahead of time that this was going to be offered on your 4 night cruise? My hubby & I love afternoon tea & this would be a great surprise if we could experience it on our 4 night cruise.

P.S. I have really enjoyed reading your report.

Thanks!
No, we did not know ahead of time, and I don't think anyone else did either which probably accounts for the sheer emptiness of Palo that afternoon. We wouldn't have known had we not gone to Wavebands to try to get two tables for two changed to a table for 4 - we saw a sign that said "afternoon tea" and were like "we'll sign up for that too!"

I don't know if they plan to offer it from now on, or if it was just due to the 10 and 11 night cruises that were sailing right after us.

 

[icartjetta]

Great trip report. Are we long lost sisters? Reading your report makes me think I'm reading my own. We were on the 7 day when you were on your cruise, we have so many things in common. I also have pictures of the awsome bathroom on route 66. I even joked about them putting my bed in there.
Great report, I wish I could write half as good as you. We live here in Orlando and go to Disney just about every weekend, I'll be looking for you at the F&W festival (if I can see that far). Traci

 

[PirateCutie05]

Great trip report, Erica! I'm glad I had time to read it!

 

[zweihund]

Great trip report. Are we long lost sisters? Reading your report makes me think I'm reading my own. We were on the 7 day when you were on your cruise, we have so many things in common. I also have pictures of the awsome bathroom on route 66. I even joked about them putting my bed in there.
Great report, I wish I could write half as good as you. We live here in Orlando and go to Disney just about every weekend, I'll be looking for you at the F&W festival (if I can see that far). Traci

Hehe, I'll see you there!

 

[zweihund]

Great trip report, Erica! I'm glad I had time to read it!

Thanks Heidi