Funny things kids say

[maslex]

When DS12 was about 3, I found him standing in the middle of our living room basically "throwing" his head up to look at the ceiling, over and over again. It went on for like 3-4 minutes. I finally asked him...."Alex, what are you doing?" he answers..."Mommy, how come I can't see my own head?"

It wasn't even a week or so later that I put him to bed for the night and read him his book. He looked out the window into the dark sky and says...."Mommy, are the moon & sun the mommy & daddy and the stars the little babies?" Could you just die on that one

He has always been the wit of the family and still to this day, will come up with some doozies. LOL

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

I just got back from a second grade field trip to the University of Oklahoma, and we ate lunch in the college cafeteria. They have big screens around the cafeteria, and a Hooters commercial came on one of them. My niece's friend covered her own eyes and my niece's eyes. She said "Do you know what they're talking about?!?" and leaned over to my niece whispered "b--bs!" This isn't even the funny part. When the commercial was over, she turned to me and said "I hate Hooters. My uncles goes there ALL the time!"

 

[Shmily1]

DH, DD18, and I were watching DGS3, DGD5, and DGD7 while their parents were at their other grandfather's wake. We carried them to McDonald's for dinner so they could eat then play on the playground for a while. DH was waiting on the food, I was fixing the drinks, and DD was sitting with all the children almost all the way across the restaurant. I hear DGD5 telling DD loudly, "Brittany, my daddy let's us pull his finger and then he p--ts." Before DD can say anything to her, DGD7 says "Karley, you know we don't say that. We say pass gas". By this time, DD is sitting there with her mouth open and DGD5 says "yeah, my daddy let's us pull his finger and then he passes gas!" I heard the whole thing across the restaurant!

Imagine the pride on DSS's face when we deliver his children and tell him what all the people in McDonald's now know about him!!

 

[ChrizJen]

DD is 2. I was correcting her for something or another one day, and she blurted out, "Momma, you be the boss of you!" Evidently this is something the teachers at daycare say to the children when they need to mind their own business.

It was everything I could do to keep a straight face and try to explain to her that I am the boss of her, and that she needs to do as I say...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, we're in the process of potty training, and one day I walked into the bathroom to find the floor all wet. I yelled out, "Why is the floor all wet in here?!?", thinking that maybe DP would know. Instead, DD walks in and proclaims, "Cuz I peed on it!"

It's such a good thing kids are cute...

 

[kellyg403]

When ds15 was about 3, he found a little washer on the floor. The kind that goes on a screw/bolt. He grabbed that thing and ran, excited as all get out to his dad..."Look Dad, I found a baby CD!" To this day I see those things and chuckle a little bit!

Kelly

 

[AndreaDM]

I've heard a few doozies out of my 3, but my favorite was when my now 20 year old DD was about 4 or so. I was driving on a very windy road and some idiot was on my tail and I complained under my breath. She asked what I said and I replied, "some idiot is following us too closely" she immediately asked, "is it my dad???" I was going through a divorce with her dad at the time and must have let it slip what I really thought of him.

 

[mrsklamc]

A friend of mine and her family used to eat out a lot. She came home one day and her new teacher had a hispanic last name.

Over dinner friend said "So is your teacher hispanic?'

Her daughter replied, "No, but her husband is Qdoban.'
_____

Another good one from the same kid....Child is very political and during last year's election one of the boys in her class told her that her candidate was a communist. She replied:
"Oh really? What's a communist?"
"Someone who kills you if you don't do what they say."
replied the girl: "That's a dictator, stupid!"

 

[smkiya]

At the hairdressers tonight, the hairdresser said, "look your hair looks just like your moms." DD5 says, "No it doesn't, it looks like her wig."

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

Last year, my DD4 spent a couple of days sticking up her middle finger. I don't know why, but she just kept flipping the bird. I tried to ignore it b/c I didn't want her to get the idea that there was anything "special" about that particular finger. But, finally, I had enough and told her that she shouldn't stick that finger out. Naturally, she gave me the meanest look she could muster and stuck up BOTH middle fingers.

DD loves Signing Time vidoes, so I sat her down and explained that she shouldn't stick up those fingers b/c they meant something very naughty in sign language. I went on to say that if she did that at preschool, her teachers would probably send her home.

DD looked at me rather confused and said, "But my teachers don't even know sign language."

I nearly wet my pants. I was thinking, "They know that sign, sister!"

 

[babytrees]

My girls keep me in stitches even now at 17 and 13 but my favorite was when the youngest was about three and we were listening to the radio in the car and she is singing along and we hear:

"I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger"

 

[minkydog]

When DS23 was about 2ish I was trying to teach him about riddles. He didn't get it but he really tried. One day I used that old saw "Why do birds fly south for the winter?"

His answer? "Cuz they wanna go to Disney World" That's my boy!

 

[Shannon G]

Last year DD5 (4 at the time) went to preschool with a little boy who she said was her boyfriend. She also told me she was going to marry him (but that it was HIS idea). Anyway, a few days ago I told her that I had learned that he moved away. We then had the following conversation:

DD: Now I'm going to have to get a new boyfriend.
Me: Oh, well how do you do that?
DD: You know - just walk up to him and say "Hey, do you want to follow me around?"

 

[pipersmom]

I really had to think on this one, cause my dd comes up with some dooooozies! When she was in the hosp on IV antibiotics about 2 yrs ago (she was 6), she developed that rather common side effect women get. So I ask the RN to ask the Resident to order some diflucan for her..(we are frequent flyers so the RNs all know us, but the Residents & Interns change.) So about 30 min later, the (male) intern walks in, and says, "Well Piper, I just need to take a quick look down there and see what's going on." As he reaches for the sheet, she promptly crosses her ankles and locks her knees together, and then says.....

"What's the password??"

I still can't decide which was funnier...her saying that, or the look on the poor interns' face...I so wish I had my camera ready at that moment.

 

[shellybaxter]

I used to teach three year olds. When one child hurt another or took a toy or whatever we would ask the child who was hurt to express their feelings. "Tell them you don't like that" was a common phrase I used. One three year old boy had hit another and I was talking to the child who had been hurt and asking him how it felt. I finally finished by asking the boy to "tell him you don't like that". The hitter looked me right in the eyes and said, "Well I didn't do it so he would like it". He wasn't a bad kid - but extremely smart.

 

[PlainJane]

Last year DD5 (4 at the time) went to preschool with a little boy who she said was her boyfriend. She also told me she was going to marry him (but that it was HIS idea). Anyway, a few days ago I told her that I had learned that he moved away. We then had the following conversation:

DD: Now I'm going to have to get a new boyfriend.
Me: Oh, well how do you do that?
DD: You know - just walk up to him and say "Hey, do you want to follow me around?"

 

[RNMOM]

Once we were all in the car with my MIL and one of my boys asked her if they had cars when she was little! She was so startled but then started laughing, thank goodness. Whew.

 

[S. C.]

These are all great.

 

[dislal]

My DD12 was a big eater when she was a baby she didn't get any teeth until she was almost 1 year, but she could gum pretty much anything we would give her and yell for more right away. Anyway we where outside playing one day and DD14 who was 4 at the time was running and kept calling DD12 who was a little over a year old at the time well DD12 fell face first in the grass, and without missing a beat DD 14 said "Come on Sammy don't just lay there eating the grass come play with me."


Another one was when DD12 was in 2nd grade she would come home everyday telling me about all the boys who liked her, well one day she came home and told me about a boy who gave her a ring, she thought for a minute and said oh no Mom now I think every boy in the 2nd grade is in love with me. (I will never let her live that one down)

 

[charming23]

These are all so cute.

My 10 year old cousin has had some doozies in his life but the best one was recently. he had seen a news story about how older senior citizens are losing their homes in one of the local communities. So he went to Our Aunt (who is in her 60's) and told her "Auntie you don't have to be worried that you are old and might lose your home. If you do you can sleep on the top bunk in my room but you can't have any of my toys you need to bring your own."

I died laughing because he was so serious when he said it and the fact that my Uncle turned pale white after he offered that my Aunt could live with them.

 

[turkeymama]

Okay, when DS (now 5) was about 3 years old, he was just learning to talk to us (autism) and communicate well with us.

I was asking him to show me various facial expressions.....for example, show me happy and he would smile. Then I would tell him to show me sad, and he would poke out his bottom lip. THEN I said, "show me mean". He said, "You're an idiot!" He was so proud that he "did mean". Oh bless his little heart.