The first is a list of words submitted by Mensa members. There were a couple not suitable for the family friendly DIS.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.
6 Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the Person who doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
8. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you're eating.
This second group is from a Washington Post contest for alternate meanings of common words:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight
one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when
wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who
has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.
6 Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the Person who doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
8. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you're eating.
This second group is from a Washington Post contest for alternate meanings of common words:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight
one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when
wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who
has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
