Funny announcements CMs make?

[lacrosse_lady72]

Our Jet Blue pilot was funny on the way back. After we landed in Newark we didn't have a gate and had to sit in the plane on the ground for about 30 minutes. He announced "So it looks like we're going to be here awhile...does anybody want to see the cockpit? Seriously, come up now and take a look." He was serious too!

Well you weren't in the air anymore at least...

 

[sarbah77]

It was at the end of the day of our first trip to the Magic Kingdom. A CM was telling everyone to move down to the end because there was more space down farther when we got in line for the monorail ride back to the parking area. He said it like " All the way down to the end sir please all the way down in the back!" It had such a nice rhythm when he said it, our family of three put a nice loud "WOO" into the pause before he repeated the same line. Since we (and many others) were exhausted from a fun-filled day, and probably a little punchy too, almost everybody around us joined in and the "WOO" just kept getting louder! It was a lot of fun just for standing in line waiting for the monorail to arrive! We still talk about that 6 years later!!

My favorite monorail entertainment was, oh, from 1985. I think this is part of why my parents decided Disney was okay (first trip for ALL of us). The monorails, per the usual, had broken down again and it was closing time. The cast members started a wave that went all the way down and then back up again. Their crowd control was FABULOUS and I just remember, at age 8, how much fun I had ... waiting. In the August heat.

My favorite flight was on the now-defunct Independence Air, landing at LaGuardia, saying "This is why we're so inexpensive! We fly part of the way and drive the rest" as we taxi'd in.

 

[mhalpern]

We were sitting in the first seat on the safari ride. The driver had just announced that we were passing zebras on the left when my son sneezed. Since we were so close to her you could hear the sneeze on her loud speaker. She quickly replied, "Oh sorry I'll pass them quickly. I didn't know you were allergic to zebra."

 

[ilandrazdsw]

backtracking to flight announcements...
on a flight from Nassau, Bah to Atlanta the flight attendants were explaining the call buttons. "If you press the call button once we will assume it was in error and it will be turned off, if you press it again you will be ejected from the plane."

 

[Stitchfans]

And, the line I hear every time I wear a t-shirt with Pooh on it. "Miss, did you realize there is a little pooh on your shirt?"

Yes, I have heard that one several times myself. First time I was stupid enough to actually look down at my shirt.

 

[kisobel]

bump

 

[denisekayt]

On a tram going to MK from the parking lot...."Now I want each of you to turn to the person on your left...and look them deeply in the eyes...and say very slowly.... 'I am parked in the Pluto parking lot'"

 

[Debbie-TN]

A couple of the CM's on JC have said to be sure to step off the boat on the right side, because if you make a mistake and step off the left side, you WILL get wet.

Also, on Living With the Land, when they used to have live announcers, one of them said that we must remain seated until the boat is going the same speed as the dock.

 

[Danemom]

Once a CM on Primeval Whirl reminded us to fasten our seat belts as he demonstrated with one in his hands. Yep, I looked. And, nope, there are no seat belts on PW, just a lap bar. He had such a mischievous smile when I looked back at him!

 

[goofyernmost]

I remember this from the early days of Jet Blue. We were flying into New York and the flight attendant made the gate announcements over the PA. She announced that if your connecting to Jet Blue to Orlando proceed to gate 2, If your going to Buffalo on Jet Blue proceed to gate 4. She continued to make a number of gate announcements and then finished up with...If your connecting with United to Chicago, well, frankly we don't care where that gate is. Thank you for flying with Jet Blue.

Her timing was exquisite and the whole plane just burst out laughing. Those were the good old "Why would we want you to take off your shoes" days.

 

[PuckHeadBill]

Heard both of these on the Barnstormers:

"Welcome back folks. In preparation for landing, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in the full upright locked position, then exit to your left, enjoy your stay here at Mickey's Toontown Fair, or wherever your destination might be"

and

"Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed your flight. If you did, my name is Eric and this has been Goofy's Barnstormer, if not, my name is Nick, thanks for riding the Jungle Cruise" (at which point, nearly all the cast members working on the platform laughed ... I asked one of them about it, and they replied that the gal that had assigned us our rows was dating a guy named Nick who worked at the Jungle Cruise)

 

[wdwmaw]

I asked a buddy of mine who's a JC Skipper what the joke is supposed to be. He says:

He also mentioned that "dork" has some, er, definitions other than "a socially inept person", so they've been told not to use that joke... but a lot of skippers do anyway.

Thank you so much. We only heard it once and wondered why we have never heard it since.

 

[ClemsonTigger2]

Once, as we were about to board our boat for Pirates of the Caribbean, I told the (pirate) cast member "I dressed like a pirate for Halloween."

Without missing a beat, he said "Arrrrrrgh! I dressed like a tourist!"

 

[Diznygrl]

While getting out of the doombuggy a CM was say "Take children firmly by the hair."

I heard that one as we were getting off The Great Movie Ride. "Please gather all of your belongings, take small children by the hair and exit to your right."

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

On a bus to DHS in the middle of the day: "Just so you're aware, DHS closes at 8pm tonight. To get a bus back to your resort, head over to bus stop 4. Keep in mind that the busses stop running an hour and a half after the park closes so tonight the last bus will leave DHS at 9:30pm. However, here at Disney we like to take care of all our guests so if you happen to miss that last bus, don't worry, we'll send a bus just for you...at 7am tomorrow morning"

QUOTE]

I swear we had this same guy when we were there in December! It was HILARIOUS!

We did, too! Or at least they have the same writer.

On a tram car back to the TTC parking lot one night leaving MK:

"Now if you all lean out and look to your right, you will fall out of the tram!"

From 10 (!) years ago....

We were going to the Magic Kingdom for the first or second time and the tram driver said that if you stay until closing you'd get to see the final attraction of the day, the Magic Kingdom brakelight parade where 10,000 cars are all trying to leave at once. They were so funny I actually videotaped the tram ride!

On the parking lot tram at AK several years ago - spoken by the college aged announcer, about the middle aged white man driving the tram -

"My name is David, and I'd like to introduce your driver...(dramatic pause)...Chaka Kahn...Chaka Kahn".

We were at DHS last week and as we got off the backlot tour our guide said, "as you get off watch your head but if you don't watch your head speak softly and watch your language." It was hilarious!

We had that announcement there, too, and this guy immediately got up and slammed his head on the top. The timing was perfect!

This past Christmas was our first trip to Disney. We had Breakfast at Chef Mickey's and then were on our way to Hollywood Studios. We had wanted to ride the monorail, so we hopped on there and thought we would get off at MK and take a bus over. We did not realize that we needed to get off at the TTC, so we decided to take the boat back to the TTC. So, I asked the CM at the boat dock it this took us to the TTC and he said "No mam, the dock stays here, the boat will take you to the TTC!" I thought that it was funny!

This happened a while ago on the Jungle Cruise. We were stopped for a while waiting to get into the dock and the Skipper began talking to a little boy (about 5 or 6) who was wearing a Winnie baseball cap. After a while he asked him "do you know you have a little Pooh on your head?" The entire boat cracked up!

One funny joke I recall from a Southwest flight was as the plane reached the final gate. The pilot got on the P.A. and said, "All rise!" just as everyone was getting up.

On a tram going to MK from the parking lot...."Now I want each of you to turn to the person on your left...and look them deeply in the eyes...and say very slowly.... 'I am parked in the Pluto parking lot'"

We had a great captain on the Friendship from MGM/HS to YC. I had my birthday button on, and the captain asked if it was anyone's birthday. This guy across from me jumped up and pointed at me. The captain asked my name. He said he could sing the Birthday Song to me in English, Spanish or backwards. The crowd said backwards, so he looked worried, took a deep breath and turned his back to us and sang.

He also did trivia and gave away fabulous prizes...maps from MGM.

On the kids' last day of their first trip, we were on JC. My niece was right next to the skipper. As we passed the crocs, she said they have been known to eat children, especially when wearing pink. My niece, in her hot pink "My First Trip to Disney World" shirt looked a little nervous the rest of the ride.


I can't believe I never looked in this thread. Hilarious!!!

 

[kisobel]

one late night, we were all alone on the bus coming back from pleasure island. our bus driver had us rolling. he was telling us this scary story and he ended it with "and they were never seen again" (flashing the overhead lights on and off with a very evil laugh). it was nice not to hear the routine disney announcements. i think at the end of the day a good bus driver can finish the day off with a smile.

kate

 

[Maine-iac]

We had a great captain on the Friendship from MGM/HS to YC. I had my birthday button on, and the captain asked if it was anyone's birthday. This guy across from me jumped up and pointed at me. The captain asked my name. He said he could sing the Birthday Song to me in English, Spanish or backwards. The crowd said backwards, so he looked worried, took a deep breath and turned his back to us and sang.

He also did trivia and gave away fabulous prizes...maps from MGM.

We had the same guy on Dec 13th. He was hilarious and the poor pre-teen girl was disappointed in her prize. We took the boat all the way to Epcot. I would take the Friendship boat again just to see him.

 

[AMVmom]

I just have to give respect to all of the CMs and the bus drivers (even the Magical Express) as they do the same thing day in and out, faced with happy and unhappy tourists, rude and nice people and still make their jobs seem so enjoyable, stay polite and keep a wonderful sense of humor. That is why I would spend that money to go to Disney where I KNOW that I will have a great vacation as opposed to any other theme park or vacation resort.

If any CMs are out there, THANK YOU!

 

[freepixie]

These are GREAT!! Keep 'em coming!!

 

[snow.white]

When riding the jungle cruise the Cm points at me then asks whats your favorite ride here at the Magic Kingdom , I responded by yelling the haunted mansion! and he yells alright the jungle cruise!