Funny announcements CMs make?

[vleeth]

Bump!

 

[footballmouse]

Gene Wilder sings that in "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."

As soon as I saw this I had his voice in my head singing this song! Thanks!

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I love the announcements with the puns and in-jokes in the queue for the Jungle Cruise. I like the visual jokes too, like the crates addressed to Swiss Family actors and members of the Adventurer's Club (R.I.P. )

Two trips ago, we got on the Jungle Cruise during evening EMH, right before the park closed. The skipper was very good-looking and around my age (early 20's) who started flirting with me when we boarded. He was being extra sarcastic and I was sarcastic back. After some banter back and forth and making him laugh (hey, he was hot!) he announced to the boat that he had finally found his first mate and dropped down to one knee, grabbed my hand and asked me to be his co-skipper! He said he would always protect me from the natives, provide me with a good base camp (just as we were passing the empty camp) and that we could go on an exotic Jungle Cruise for our honeymoon (eliciting groans from the boat, lol!) I had to say yes, of course! Once I said yes, he said "Good, as captain of this ship, I now pronounce us husband and wife!" which got lots of laughs.

He kind of stuck to the script after that, occasionally tossing in comments like "Look, darling, they've started the reception without us!" when we got the the dancing natives scene and jumping in front of me shouting "I'll protect you!" for the ambush and "Do you think we should register with the Chief? We'll need more shrunken heads" It was really funny. There was also a joke about the temple being a tunnel of love...

When we got to the dock nobody was waiting to board, so he asked if I was ready for that romantic cruise and I told him only if it included my closest friends and family! So we got another trip on the JC, late at night in the MK which is a pretty special experience with all the lights. We just chatted with him on the second trip, no need for the spiel this time. Nobody had a video camera, which I regret, because it was really fun (and he was really cute!)

If there is any Disney brass reading this-- don't get mad! I know skippers are not supposed to go off-script, but nobody on the boat minded in the least. Everyone was laughing so hard and several people (from both my group and the group we didn't know) were giving the skipper a hard time with sarcastic comments and shouting out jokes about the JC-- everyone was in on the joke. He was witty and quick to improv and read the crowd correctly and made it really special and fun for us. The boat was not full, it was my group and another group of adults with some older teens, so no little child's vacation was ruined. The other group said it was the most fun they had had on the JC in a long time and wished us a long and happy life together! I think he was a CP-er who was at the end of his program because I have not seen him since. It is a great Disney memory for me and the friends who were with me. We still talk about it. Sometimes it's okay to deviate from the script and the guests appreciate it even if it gives corporate panic attacks! Which, while I'm on the subject, why can't the HM CM's improv anymore? The new script is boring...

 

[AuroraBorealis]

My son and I had THE BEST Jungle Cruise guide EVER last trip. This guy had the whole boat in stitches, shooting at the fireworks and just rolling out one gut buster after another. The clincher was when we got to "Shirley's temple" and turned out the lights he started singing...

"Is it raining? Is it snowing? [...]

That is so AWESOME! I hope they're still doing it on my next trip! We would singalong!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I could not stop reading this thread last night. It is so funny!! It is things like this that make Disney so special to me. I just love reading about them. We have had several things happen and it is hilarious when it does. I'll post later, when I can think if some.

Keep them coming!!

 

[disneyhockeymad]

This is so funny! I laughed so much reading some of these!

We had one on a tram to the parking lot... "Please only get off the tram when it has come to a complete stop. You'll know this when we're going at the same speed as the pavement" my brother looked really confused at this (we were sitting right infront of the announcer) and the CM turned round and said, "for this young boy here who was brave enough to admit he needed help, the pavement does go a grand total of 0mph" was very funny!

We've also had another on a tram to DHS where the CM was telling us about the rides at DHS, he had just explained the RnR and then proceeded to say that "the tram rivaled the RnR, going a whopping 0 to 5mph for the entire time you're on the ride"

 

[Buzz Litebeer]

Which, while I'm on the subject, why can't the HM CM's improv anymore? The new script is boring...

Because too many HM CMs were being outright rude to guests and then trying to cover themselves by claiming "Oh, I was improvising in character". The thing is, the Servants in the HM aren't supposed to be rude... they're supposed to be, well, servile. And creepy. But no Lord and Master of a Mansion would tolerate his servants treating his guests rudely!

I love the Mansion dearly... but I've seen more bad show from the cast there than at any other single attraction. How bad are we talking? On two separate occasions the CMs were so rude to Guests that I was sorely tempted to actually march down to Guest Relations myself and file a formal complaint.

By giving the CMs a script, the bad ones can no longer defend their rudeness by claiming they were acting in character.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

He also did trivia and gave away fabulous prizes...maps from MGM.

That was my prize for answering a trivia question.
NOTE TO ALL: DAISY DUCK'S THREE NIECES ARE NAMED APRIL, MAY, AND JUNE! AMAZE THE REST OF THOSE ON YOUR BOAT OR BUS!

 

[drnlhome]

These are so good. We are surprising our kids in March and while I was reading these, my kids asked why I was laughing and I couldn't tell them!

On our last trip, on exiting POTC, we heard "Yo ho, yo ho, get out!" My kids still laugh at that. I have decided we need to do JC again. We have been on it only once before and we must have had a dud.

 

[APB513]

We we at AK in Dec when one of the cast members walked up to me and said," Sorry miss but you need to go change your sweater. It's has a gap in it." I was stumped then DH was laughing calling me an idoit, I forgot I had my GAP pullover on.

I got this one too except my shirt had Winnie the Pooh on it so the CM says "You need to go change your shirt cause you've got Pooh all over it"

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Because too many HM CMs were being outright rude to guests and then trying to cover themselves by claiming "Oh, I was improvising in character"

By giving the CMs a script, the bad ones can no longer defend their rudeness by claiming they were acting in character.

That is too bad. I've never experienced any rude HM CMs so I thought the scripts were just a Disney overreaction to overly sensitive guests-- it seems like they are less gruesome and scary than before, like it was an attempt to make everything very PC and bland enough to not offend anybody. Oh well...

 

[LubsPoohBear]

this is the best way to get ready for a trip ty everyone keep them comin.

 

[LittleFlounder]

This past November, my friend and I were on the Safari at AK and the CM had to stop driving for a while because one of the ostriches was attacking(pecking at) our vehicle. We were stopped for probably close to 5 minutes, so he had a while to talk to us about ostriches. I'm not sure if this was scripted, but he said "This is Sally. We name the animals just for reference. Its better than calling her serial number 442744877778321.B... which is a family name." (I remember this because I took a video of the attacking ostrich)

 

[wdwmom0f3]

bump

These are so funny, keep them coming!!

 

[ScrapperBelle]

Once at AK, I had a shirt on with different colored polka dots. A couple of CMs pointed at me and started saying, "right hand, red. left foot, blue". It took a second for me to realize it was a Twister reference. DS was 4 at the time and every time after that when I wore that shirt, he would repeat that line...he thought it was so funny.

 

[Kimi313]

You know how when you are loading on Jungle Cruise the CM picks up the cushion that someone is going to sit on to allow people to load on the boat. Well one time after everyone got on the boat there stood one woman looking around where she was going to sit, the CM was behind her holding the cushion that she would be using, and the boat driver CM announced "mam don't slap him but the person behind you has his hands on your seat".

 

[zuly]

hilarious!!! bumping

 

[Ms_Butterfly]

Once at AK, I had a shirt on with different colored polka dots. A couple of CMs pointed at me and started saying, "right hand, red. left foot, blue". It took a second for me to realize it was a Twister reference. DS was 4 at the time and every time after that when I wore that shirt, he would repeat that line...he thought it was so funny.

That is a great line!!!

 

[loonytoony]

bump

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I remember leaving MK one night....the bus driver was HILARIOUS! The driver was very loud and wanted everyone to board the "party bus" as he called it. He sang and had everyone singing on the ride back to ASMo and he kept telling jokes, he said it was his 1 yr anniversary as a bus driver so he wanted to celebrate. He said at the end of the ride he would be outside signing autographs...and he did get off the bus and stand there and said good night to everyone. My fiance said if his hands weren't so full he would have searched our book bag for DDs autograph book and asked him to sign it as a joke lol.

Shockingly....DD slept through that ride back to the resort haha.