Funniest Lines in WDW Attractions

[Robo]

Flights of Wonder (DAK)

Tour Guide is afraid of birds.
So he/she runs over to hide under a tree as a large bird is about to appear.

Host says, "You'll be fine there. Birds HATE trees."

 

[mjmcca]

When I was in the bathroom in adventureland last sept, the music stopped and stitch's voice came over.. the Liiiilo? where Aaaare you? "doors slamming.. lady screaming".. You're not Lilo. Screaming.. Hello lady.. hahahahahaha (stitch evil laugh)

This cracked me up. particularly because while washing my hands a little boy, pants still down, comes scrambling out of the one stall saying STITCH IS IN HERE MOMMY WHERE IS HE!? while the mom frantically tried to grab him back into the stall LOL

Oh I wish my kids had heard they they would ahve thought stitch ws there too! I can feel that mother's pain

 

[rnorberg]

ok, back quite a few years ago, when David Letterman was part of the pre-show at the muppets...he said something to the effect... "if you misbehave, security gaurds in mouse suites will beat you senseless" that was crazy funny!

 

[Robo]

ok, back quite a few years ago, when David Letterman was part of the pre-show at the muppets...he said something to the effect... "if you misbehave, security gaurds in mouse suites will beat you senseless" that was crazy funny!

I think that was the pre-show video at the "Monster Sound Show" (now "Sounds Dangerous" is in that space).

 

[rnorberg]

nope...it was in the muppets...Chevy Chase was the star of the Monster Sound Show...that was funny too!! hehe

 

[mjmcca]

I think that was the pre-show video at the "Monster Sound Show" (now "Sounds Dangerous" is in that space).

Yes you are correct. He was part of the pre show and in the interactive area.

 

[Robo]

nope...it was in the muppets...Chevy Chase was the star of the Monster Sound Show...that was funny too!! hehe

No, not the SHOW at MSS.
The PRE-SHOW outside in the waiting area.
It had overhead video monitors.

Muppets has always had the preshow that they have now.
Its TIMED to the film inside.

 

[rnorberg]

Oh yea, thats right. That Letterman line was hilarious...classic!

 

[Hobbes]

These are making me howl-specially Stich in the toilets. I just wish I could remember things like this-Brain the size of a planet but can't remember the important things like Muppet quips....

 

[crzy4mk]

Jungle Cruise
(There a HUNDREDS of good lines here, because many capt's. have their own SET of ad libs).

Jungle Cruise Capt. upon our "Return to Civilization"...

"Well, THAT was so much fun that I think I'll go around again...

and again...

and again...

and again...

every 10 minutes...

for the rest of my life!

(Stay in school, kids.)"

HILARIOUS! When I first saw this thread, I immediately thought of the Jungle Cruise and all its great "captain's lines". One of my all time favorites is . . .

(as you exit the boat) Please take all your belongings including small children. If they are left behind, they become property of Walt Disney World and will have their feet nailed to the floor and become part of the "It's a Small World" ride.

 

[airplane]

Keep them coming! These are great

 

[Matt'sMom]

From the Muppets' pre-show...

"Up, Chuck! Up, Chuck! Up, Chuck!"

That line always makes us crack up, especially since the gag takes a while to register with some people.

 

[figmentfan1]

Don't know if this counts...

Our tour guide on the Jungle Cruise said at the end of our tour (2005):

"Like my Daddy told me when I became a man- get your stuff and get out!"

In 1989 the guide on 20,000 Leagues said (as we are leaving):

"Please look around and gather up your personal belongings, take small children firmly by the hair, I mean hand, please watch your head upon exiting and if you don't watch your head, please watch your language, this is a family park!"

Love it!!
JE

 

[DarthGoofy]

My favorite from the Jungle Cruise is also when you are getting off of the boat.

"If you have enjoyed yourself, my name is Kristi and this has been the Jungel Cruise."

"If you have not enjoyed yourself, my name is Ron and this has been Space Mountain."

I couldn't quit laughing about that.

 

[Spaceship Earthfan]

Everyone always laughs at WWTBAMI at

"And our third lifeline, Phone a Complete Stranger."

 

[Mom2Rae]

We get our small jollies from the Spanish version of "Please stand clear of the doors" on the Monorail.

"Por favor mantagnese alejado de las puertos!" (spelling liberties taken)

We almost made t-shirts last summer.

Our all-time fav! Dh and I say that all the time at home when we're in a store or something. Cracks us up! We'll be on the monorail trying to lip say it as the "voice" does and people are looking at us like we're crazy! We laugh and laugh!

Another thing we do is video tape people on the monorail that just look miserable and get home and watch it and catch a good laugh!!

 

[properlywarnedyebe]

Favorites-
Monorail spiel in Espanol and
Somehow we caught ourselves calling everything "Nahtazu"
My most fav-
"We wants the redhead!"
and "strike your colors, you brazen wench, no need to expose your superstructure!"
-Auction scene at POTC
whole scene's hysterical!
The "Blood on a Saddle" song kills my DH at the Bear Jamboree

 

[DadofChristaSonofRay]

"Please stand clear on the doors" on the monorail!

 

[CinRell]

"We wants the redhead! We wants the redhead!"
I love this line.... being a redhead (well, auburn but who's holding my head against a rainbow?

In fact "we wants the redhead" would be such a fun tag for me.. oh if only the tag fairy would see... but alas, I think she's been stepped on

 

[Robo]

The "Blood on a Saddle" song kills my DH at the Bear Jamboree

Yes, its always been very funny as presented by Big Al.

But, you know it was a "real cowboy song" (most of the songs in the show are).

It was written and originally sung by the father of the late great John Ritter (of Three's Company, etc.), the late Tex Ritter, a country singer of great reknown in his day.

Here's a link to the lyrics.

http://www.twin-music.com/azlyrics/r_file/tex/blood.html

But perhaps the biggest surprise is that the VOICE you hear IN THE SHOW (Big AL)... IS, in fact, the late great Tex Ritter, himself.