FRUSTRATED!!!! And our WDW trip just days away!!!

[Planogirl]

OP, you might want to talk to him about buying the house. He might be willing to set a time for when you can finance it.

As for the trip, your call and not my business. You know your own situation best.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Someone that just graduated med school should not buy a house. Residency, fellowships and finding your first attending job can take you anywhere, in this market it's really not wise to buy for what may be a very short time period.

 

[joviroxx]

I guess Im reading the OP differently than most of you. I read just frustration because she doesnt feel her hoped for stressfree Disney trip will be so stressfree anymore.

I dont hear whining or complaining. Just stressed that they have to make so many decisions sooner than expected and without really knowing what to do since they don't even know where they will be living (where as in location like city, state..not where as in dwelling). So buying this house doesnt sound like its such an obvious solution. Sounds like they knew this day would come, just coming earlier than expected.

Just sounds like a vent, not a complaint to me.

OP, if you feel the financial aspect of the trip would be detrimental, dont stress about cancelling . Disney isn't going anywhere! If not, go and enjoy, leave the stress at home, that too will be there when you get back LOL!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

How generous your father in law is! Couldn't you and your DH just pay the mortgage for him instead? Is it an exorbiant amount? If not, perhaps you can handle making the payments then he wouldn't have to list and waste money in real estate fees. Might be worth having a discussion over and be sure to start it with 'We are so very grateful for the generosity you've shown us these 3 years and completely understand your need to be able to pay the mortgage. We'd be very willing to make those payments so as to stay in your lovely home...blah blah blah.' Does he drink? Maybe get him liquored up first! I'm kidding of course! Good luck!

ETA: I'm sure you're very thankful too. To put it in perspective...when DH and I were newly married, we were still finishing up our degrees, paying rent and working. One month money was realllly tight so my DH asked his parents if we could borrow something like $700. They agreed which was so nice. Two weeks later they called us to ask when we were going to pay them back because they wanted to buy a new digital camera! I was like sure, I'll just return the groceries we bought, who needs to eat?

 

[Rora]

Although I wasn't going to address the OP's "grateful level", I can't help myself from sticking up for the OP. I think she's clearly grateful and certainly isn't whining that her DF's father is being "like sooo mean and kicking [them] out!".

OP- there's nothing wrong with your post. I think us DISers just get a little touchy sometimes. Regardless, break your flame suit out. I've always got mine on.

 

[gisgt]

Just wanted to add my voice of sympathy. The only idea I have is: Would it maybe be possible for your fiance to ask his dad to hold off an extra month or 2 before getting ready to sell? It might give you guys a chance to at least get a general idea where you're headed, I imagine it's doubly difficult with 2 different fields involved. About the trip, I say - take a deep breath & pull a Scarlett O'hara "I'll think about it tomorrow" with tomorrow being in 3 weeks when you're nice & relaxed from the trip. It sounds to me like you guys have more than earned it!

 

[Tink888]

OP - you didn't sound ungrateful to me, just young and worried about the future. You aren't alone, we all worry about the future.

Things will work out. You've obviously been blessed and given you and your fiance are in medical and law school, you're both obviously two intelligent people capable of figuring things out and facing your challenges.

It's hard not to worry but the day before your trip, FORGET ABOUT IT. Go and have a wonderful time. Think of the trip as a send off to your future. You'll come home relaxed, refreshed and ready to find a solution to your living arrangements and finances.

 

[Aisling]

I guess Im reading the OP differently than most of you. I read just frustration because she doesnt feel her hoped for stressfree Disney trip will be so stressfree anymore.

I dont hear whining or complaining. Just stressed that they have to make so many decisions sooner than expected QUOTE]

 

[Blessed99]

HI OP! I am thinking you should go on your trip! Enjoy yourself!! I am sure that schooling was very stressful for you and your fiancee in your chosen fields! I say go, have a great time, relax, and don't worry about things until you come back. With the market the way it is now, its a good chance that you will have a while before faced with an actual move. Hopefully by then you will have a better chance as to where you will be living! Have a great trip!!

 

[LaurenLC]

Jealous? Bitter? Go ahead and label me whatever you like, but I've been living in the real world for awhile now. My husband is a college professor and has yet to find a permanent tenure track position. We know we won't be living here for the rest of our lives and have no idea if or when we will move, but we've been paying rent and now our mortgage for about 8 years now.. This is called life.
I'm sorry that the OP is going through something, but I'm not going to join their pity party.

 

[N.Bailey]

Jealous? Bitter? Go ahead and label me whatever you like, but I've been living in the real world for awhile now. My husband is a college professor and has yet to find a permanent tenure track position. We know we won't be living here for the rest of our lives and have no idea if or when we will move, but we've been paying rent and now our mortgage for about 8 years now.. This is called life.
I'm sorry that the OP is going through something, but I'm not going to join their pity party.

No one asked for a pity party.

We've all been paying our mortgages/rents for years, if not decades. This thread isn't about who pays what out there in America. It's about a young couple, just finishing up their formal schooling, about to embark on their chosen career paths, who just happen to be taking a vacation before doing so.

Just because they happen to be in a situation where a parent is willing to help out, it doesn't mean we get to equate her situation to our own. They would have been foolish to not take advantage of the situation they were presented with. Obvously, her BF's family wanted to help and had the means to do exactly that. Are you not willing to do all you can to help your children? We may not all find ourselves in the position to help in this capacity, but I think most of us do all we can.

Why is she undeserving of anything because she found herself in such a position? How does that equate to your situation at all?

She's venting, not asking for a pity party.

 

[FireDancer]

It didn't sound bitter to me. It sounds like you were in a fortunate situation and now that it is ending you are worried. I get it and hope it all works out for you.

I do, however, hope you guys managed to save up while you were in school. I was fortunate enough to live rent free with my grandmother while I was in college but worked a full time job (48 hour/week minimum) and managed to pay cash for school and still save up some cash. Hopefully you guys also thought ahead and planned for the inevitable.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

So i got a rather upsetting call monday and it concerns our home & current living situation - my fiance's dad owns our home & we live in it rent free & bill free (except cable/internet) so that part has been GREAT for the past 3 yrs as we've been in med/law schools. But now he's decided that he will begin to get the ball rolling on selling the house. of course i'm upset bc i love this house bc we sit on 1acre of land in the city with fenced in yard for the dogs & it's just great. but i also know how fortunate we've been to have his wonderful family take care of our living arrangements for us for as long as they have. but now it's forcing us to consider all of our future plans ... esp since we don't know where we'll end up bc we're still looking for jobs & waiting for exam results to come in, etc. now money will be an ever bigger issue plus school loans, finding a new place after we FINALLY know what location we'll be in, ARG!!! I WANT to be excited about our WDW trip in 16 days but now i can think about it AFTER we come back & face reality & everything else. It also makes me feel really bad about going on this trip ... money. I know there are no words to be said (or typed) to help me feel better - but i just needed to get this all out.

Just curious, I thought Med students knew where they were going already. Not familiar with the process at all, just from what I have read here from med students, but I though Match day was the same across the country and that happened a few weeks ago?

Anyway, could it be possible that your FIL sprang this on you right before your trip because he is just a bit miffed that you are living for free in his house, yet taking what some may see as a big vacation?

Although I agree that Disney can be done very inexpensively and doesn't always have to be the extravagance that is most people's perception, maybe he heard Disney and thinks you are spending big $$$ and he is upset.

Parents can be like that. They think they are bending backwards to help out their kids and then they don't understand some of their kid's choices.

If this might be the case, perhaps you can talk to him, let him know you didn't really spend what could have been several months rent on this trip and then offer to start paying rent until your plans are a bit more firm.

 

[iwrbnd]

I hope you have a great time on your trip and I'm sorry you will have to find a new home. Do you work while your both in school? When my husband was in medical school I taught and there was no way we could afford a vacation! In fact it took YEARS after graduating to finally go on one! I do regret that, though, be glad you'll have those memories.

 

[manning]

Welcome to the world of life.

First move is cancel the Disney trip.

 

[cm8]

Not sure if you are a women of faith, But I would just pray about it, and leave the rest to GOD, have fun on your trip.

 

[allison443]

So i got a rather upsetting call monday and it concerns our home & current living situation - my fiance's dad owns our home & we live in it rent free & bill free (except cable/internet) so that part has been GREAT for the past 3 yrs as we've been in med/law schools. But now he's decided that he will begin to get the ball rolling on selling the house. of course i'm upset bc i love this house bc we sit on 1acre of land in the city with fenced in yard for the dogs & it's just great. but i also know how fortunate we've been to have his wonderful family take care of our living arrangements for us for as long as they have. but now it's forcing us to consider all of our future plans ... esp since we don't know where we'll end up bc we're still looking for jobs & waiting for exam results to come in, etc. now money will be an ever bigger issue plus school loans, finding a new place after we FINALLY know what location we'll be in, ARG!!! I WANT to be excited about our WDW trip in 16 days but now i can think about it AFTER we come back & face reality & everything else. It also makes me feel really bad about going on this trip ... money. I know there are no words to be said (or typed) to help me feel better - but i just needed to get this all out.

OP I assume you guys have a good relationship with your fiance's father...however, do you think maybe it bothered him that you were taking a Disney trip while he was paying for all of your living expenses? Was he paying your groceries and stuff too?

Are you both graduating this year, or have you both already finished? If you're finished with law school, you can work at some kind of job even if you aren't officially a lawyer yet. Are you taking the bar exam in July, if you took it already you should have results by now.

Maybe you could offer to start paying rent to your fiance's father in law. That might change the situation enough so he would put off selling until you decide where the doctor's residency will be.

Good luck!

 

[NatashaDisneyCM]

I have to totally agree with pp- no sympathy here; you should have been saving something-something- these past years- to put towards something-anything sometime to house you and your kids etc.

I wish someone would give me a free home to live in for a few years.

Good luck to you!

I totally agree with you !! I wish I had someone doing this while I am in school! I stress every single day, hour, minute! you should have saved and planned in that time!

 

[Katy Belle]

Seems to me you are at the point where you will be moving, no matter what your FIL does with your current house. If its in just a couple of months anyway, he can indicate that the house won't be available until the date that you need it.

Worst case scenerio... you will have to rent a place or stay with someone for a couple of weeks.

Have a great vacation!
Katy

 

[DancingBear]

Anywho- she should have been saving for a rainy day? Right?

They weren't working, what were they supposed to save? Sounds like the two of them have used this economic freedom to study for potentially lucrative careers that will enable them to be self-sufficient for many years to come, hard to fault that.