FRUSTRATED!!!! And our WDW trip just days away!!!

[Aisling]

I don't know. For me, circumstances matter. Med/law school is no walk in the park. There is a lot of sacrifice involved. Focus. Yes. People sacrifice everyday in some way or another. Finishing these schools = big achievement. As a parent, I wouldn't be upset if they wanted to celebrate.

I agree! And I'd probably throw them a few dollars spending money if I could.

 

[hentob]

Hold on, wait. I'm confused. I thought she was in medical school?

Nobody is in med school.

 

[hentob]

But now he's decided that he will begin to get the ball rolling on selling the house.

Smart man!

You are so lucky to have had a free ride for so long.

Give the man a big hug for all he has given you and move on

 

[allison443]

Nobody is in med school.

Nobody is or was in medical school, and it's not clear what "exam results" they are waiting for that OP mentions in her first post, because her fiance already has passed the bar. So he has been out of law school for a while anyway... It's a little confusing the way the OP states things. It's not clear if they are working, or what?

 

[goochy18]

Ok so I never imagined in million years any one would ever reply to my post ... although i didn't read all six pages ... sorry for any one thinking I was seeking pity. I'm no slacker - i was at the med school where they also teach allied health where I got my second BS in cardiopulmonary sciences to become an US tech to repay some school loans b4 full blown med school. I worked hard in HS to afford a 100% college scholarship so that my parents didn't have to pay. I didn't want to burden them with my expenses so my scholarships paid for everything. But when I went for my 2nd degree, the scholarships were not as readily available so i took out small loans. However where i'm located there is hardly no work to be found for US registered in only one field (hearts). So i work one day a week at a small place. the other weekdays i work as nanny for three families (days, nights, some wkends), plus I take up many small jobs to ensure I have enough to pay loans, cell, cc bills, cable/internet - albeit that i don't have rent, but I do have a few small responsibilities.

DBF works back at home right now with his dad in their family AC business but he works for significantly less than the other people - and he has a law degree! but at least his dad isn't showing him favoritism just bc he's his son! at least he gave his son a job while he needs it too! so we're grateful for that!

When not working i'm volunteering bc i love it. my parent's raised me to always give back - so i do, even when all i have is my time & cannot give monetary donations. I've applied now 87 times to different jobs but either i'm too over-qualified to be a receptionist or only had 2.5 yrs rather than 3yrs experience in specific areas.

The subject of the house was known last yr however bc my father underwent a triple bypass surgery which forced me to move back home temporarily for about 3mos. the whole matter was put on the shelf. Therefore once I got back to my home I tried to find jobs & started saving for whatever was necessary.

The WDW trip was a gift (early bday & an engagement gift) - but we're paying for gas/food, souvenirs ... & i feel that any little thing i spend money on that isn't for bills or savings that I'm doing myself an injustice. (And we did try to pay rent but he wouldn't have it as we were both in school - he wouldn't accept so we started saving with what we had)

The issue with "exams" -- He conditioned the BAR the first time (july09) & had to now pass one out of the 3 that he originally didn't pass (feb10) - so tomorrow, april 16, we find out. I had taken my registry & passed. Just wanted to clear that up -

The matter really is that i'm stressed that I cannot plan for my future bc we don't know where we'll end up. He applies for fed-jobs & IF he gets one then no telling where he'll be sent. So i can't look for a new place & I can't look for another job. that's all - how can anyone plan out their future when you just don't know? that's all i'm stressed about - the unknown

 

[luvsJack]

OP, it sounds to me like you are a wonderful young lady with a great future ahead of her. Don't worry too much about some of these judgmental responces you have been given.

Enjoy your trip, have fun and relax. It will all work out in the end for you and your dbf.

 

[Rainwater]

It's great that you have been taken care of for the last 3 years. But to be honest, if you have not saved any money, then you have taken advantage of the situation. You get what you deserve. I would start looking for a place to live. With the economy, I don't think the home will sell anytime soon. Maybe you should buy it.

 

[allison443]

OP I understand the situation better after your second post. I never heard of conditionally passing part of the bar exam (maybe they don't do that in every state) but I know it is very stressful and I sincerely hope your fiance gets very good news on the 16th!!

 

[amg35]

It's great that you have been taken care of for the last 3 years. But to be honest, if you have not saved any money, then you have taken advantage of the situation. You get what you deserve. I would start looking for a place to live. With the economy, I don't think the home will sell anytime soon. Maybe you should buy it.

Did you read her second post?

Have fun on your trip OP!!! You guys sound like you are hard workers, and it will all work out in the end.

 

[jodifla]

Ok so I never imagined in million years any one would ever reply to my post ... although i didn't read all six pages ... sorry for any one thinking I was seeking pity. I'm no slacker - i was at the med school where they also teach allied health where I got my second BS in cardiopulmonary sciences to become an US tech to repay some school loans b4 full blown med school. I worked hard in HS to afford a 100% college scholarship so that my parents didn't have to pay. I didn't want to burden them with my expenses so my scholarships paid for everything. But when I went for my 2nd degree, the scholarships were not as readily available so i took out small loans. However where i'm located there is hardly no work to be found for US registered in only one field (hearts). So i work one day a week at a small place. the other weekdays i work as nanny for three families (days, nights, some wkends), plus I take up many small jobs to ensure I have enough to pay loans, cell, cc bills, cable/internet - albeit that i don't have rent, but I do have a few small responsibilities.

DBF works back at home right now with his dad in their family AC business but he works for significantly less than the other people - and he has a law degree! but at least his dad isn't showing him favoritism just bc he's his son! at least he gave his son a job while he needs it too! so we're grateful for that!

When not working i'm volunteering bc i love it. my parent's raised me to always give back - so i do, even when all i have is my time & cannot give monetary donations. I've applied now 87 times to different jobs but either i'm too over-qualified to be a receptionist or only had 2.5 yrs rather than 3yrs experience in specific areas.

The subject of the house was known last yr however bc my father underwent a triple bypass surgery which forced me to move back home temporarily for about 3mos. the whole matter was put on the shelf. Therefore once I got back to my home I tried to find jobs & started saving for whatever was necessary.

The WDW trip was a gift (early bday & an engagement gift) - but we're paying for gas/food, souvenirs ... & i feel that any little thing i spend money on that isn't for bills or savings that I'm doing myself an injustice. (And we did try to pay rent but he wouldn't have it as we were both in school - he wouldn't accept so we started saving with what we had)

The issue with "exams" -- He conditioned the BAR the first time (july09) & had to pass one out of the 3 he didn't pass (feb10) - so tomorrow, april 16, we find out. I had taken my registry & passed. Just wanted to clear that up -

The matter really is that i'm stressed that I cannot plan for my future bc we don't know where we'll end up. He applies for fed-jobs & IF he gets one then no telling where he'll be sent. So i can't look for a new place & I can't look for another job. that's all - how can anyone plan out their future when you just don't know? that's all i'm stressed about - the unknown

Good luck to you OP! You are in a stressful spot right now, but it will get better. It can be difficult if you are a planner unable to make plans because several things are on hold.

Have your great time on your much DESERVED trip, and ignore all the jealous folks here who haven't done in 50 years what you've done in a fraction of that time.

 

[ols386]

It's great that you have been taken care of for the last 3 years. But to be honest, if you have not saved any money, then you have taken advantage of the situation. You get what you deserve. I would start looking for a place to live. With the economy, I don't think the home will sell anytime soon. Maybe you should buy it.

Get what she deserves??? That kind of sounds like a very judgy thing to say.

 

[OceanAnnie]

OP, it sounds to me like you are a wonderful young lady with a great future ahead of her. Don't worry too much about some of these judgmental responces you have been given.

Enjoy your trip, have fun and relax. It will all work out in the end for you and your dbf.

Yes! Enjoy your trip. Somethings have to fall into place. It will all work out in the end.

 

[goochy18]

OP I understand the situation better after your second post. I never heard of conditionally passing part of the bar exam (maybe they don't do that in every state) but I know it is very stressful and I sincerely hope your fiance gets very good news on the 16th!!

Yes we live in LA where law students can condition the BAR until you pass it however NOW this upcoming graduate students no longer have this option - his class was the last ones capable of "conditioning" the BAR.

Secondly - i've taken time to read the posts, all of them --- For ME, my parents didn't want me to work, bc they wanted me to focus on school which was why I worked hard to get the scholarships to do so. Then of course I tried to get work when/where I could. DBF did work at a bar during law school until it was just too much for him & school. He had loans & of course his dad helped me when he needed help too, which wasn't often.

Plus on top of my dad's surgery, DBF mom was (still is) undergoing chemo (but pretty much finished & doing great!!!!)- which was another reason why we both felt we needed to support ourselves bc both of our families had much more imp things to do than to support their 20something year old children.

I even tried creating financial timelines so that I could possibly take responsibility for more of MY costs to my family (car note, insurance, health insurance, etc) - so i'm not living in "wonderland" and i've always tried to live in the "real world" - i don't feel entitled to anything, it's not like I haven't been trying to save or work to save, it's not like i'm sitting on my tushy waiting for things to come to me on a silver platter - i live more in the real world than DBF!!

But hey - i guess that since i've posted i've made lots of people feel better about themselves & how hard they've worked to be where they are today. I know things will work out ... i have faith to know anything can happen i mean HEY the New Orleans SAINTS won the freaking superbowl!!!!

 

[DisneyFairytale]

So i got a rather upsetting call monday and it concerns our home & current living situation - my fiance's dad owns our home & we live in it rent free & bill free (except cable/internet) so that part has been GREAT for the past 3 yrs as we've been in med/law schools. But now he's decided that he will begin to get the ball rolling on selling the house. of course i'm upset bc i love this house bc we sit on 1acre of land in the city with fenced in yard for the dogs & it's just great. but i also know how fortunate we've been to have his wonderful family take care of our living arrangements for us for as long as they have. but now it's forcing us to consider all of our future plans ... esp since we don't know where we'll end up bc we're still looking for jobs & waiting for exam results to come in, etc. now money will be an ever bigger issue plus school loans, finding a new place after we FINALLY know what location we'll be in, ARG!!! I WANT to be excited about our WDW trip in 16 days but now i can think about it AFTER we come back & face reality & everything else. It also makes me feel really bad about going on this trip ... money. I know there are no words to be said (or typed) to help me feel better - but i just needed to get this all out.

I went on a trip right after I found out some pretty devastating news about my mom(the trip was mom and I). Tho the trip has some bitter/sweet moments where we both cried, we had a blast. We had a blast because we chose to take our magic trip and make it something incredible.

Your worries are very stressful and none of us know what you are going through, but we all know one thing in our heart, and its that the magic of Disney can over come any battle you might be fighting.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Goochy,

Try not to worry or even think about some of the posts you've seen here. There are a lot of very bitter people on and off these boards whose sole mission in life is to criticize others so they can feel superior about themselves. You see them in real life and you'll see them here. Try to ignore them.

I know how you feel about not knowing what the future will hold and I'm glad you and your DF had such a super supportive FFIL who wouldn't take rent even when you offered it.

Try to keep in mind that the market is slow right now; you'll likely know where you're going to be living long before that house sells.

Have a great trip!

 

[Carly_Roach]

Get what she deserves??? That kind of sounds like a very judgy thing to say.

I noticed that too and I'll see your judgy and up it to downright nasty.

But, OTOH, it's been my experience that people who say nasty things like that are usually those who've gotten what they've deserved themselves. Misery loves company?

It should probably be noted that Rainwater is a new poster, too. Likely someone who got banned for saying nasty things here before and is back in another form. Hopefully the OP will realize this and ignore that person.

 

[DVCBELLE]

I worked hard in HS to afford a 100% college scholarship so that my parents didn't have to pay. I didn't want to burden them with my expenses so my scholarships paid for everything.

Therefore once I got back to my home I tried to find jobs & started saving for whatever was necessary.

The WDW trip was a gift ((And we did try to pay rent but he wouldn't have it as we were both in school - he wouldn't accept so we started saving with what we had)

quoting the above for those who can't be bothered to read your whole post -

The trip was A GFIT
They DO HAVE SAVINGS

She is really stressed by the uncertainty her future holds...

My DH is a lawyer and I can tell you right now that the job market is rough even for attorneys - we know a lot of top of the line firms that have deferred offers for a year or two...

Good luck OP - enjoy a well deserved trip for all your hard work!!!

 

[TeresaNJ]

Holy cow! Now I know why I stopped posting on this board. I've never read so many nasty, judgmental, jealous replies in my eleven years on this site.

 

[kimmar067]

Sorry you’re going through something.... I wish I could say I feel really bad for you, but I can't. You've gotten to live somewhere rent free for years and you are going to Disney in two weeks and you're upset about having to come back to the real world? I'm sorry, as I just paid my mortgage this morning....

... which REMINDS me........

 

[Kennywife]

Goochy,

I know how you feel. Kenny and I are in a similar situation. We live in adjacent property to my mom's house. We pay half the bills which includes internet and cable.

I do work as a travel writer which she and everyone know about. She supports it and thinks it's great. My job requires that I travel a few times a year to different places to write articles and take pictures. I don't stay in lavish hotels, usually just cheap places since I'm always on the go. The rest of the time, I am at home working on articles and projects.

Kenny works as a supervisor at Wal-Mart. We came to live there because my mom wanted us to live near her in case I became pregnant. If we choose to stay indefinitely, when she is gone, the house goes to us.

I can sympathize because my sil is in the medical field and I take my hat off to you. Maybe you can see if he will let you rent to own the home from him. Till then, go and have a great time, you earned it. And don't worry about judgemental opinions of others.

Anna