From Oil Wells to Jingle Bells-Bells,pg.66, See you in September!

[smidgy]

lisa: i feel for you (as I also have diver.)
anyway, while recuperating, follow the links at the bottom of nebo's signature... his previous trip reports. they will give you HOURS of laughs!!!

 

[LadyMar]

Hello Mr. Nebo, I've been catching up & enjoying your latest trip report = )
As always your mind works in hilarious ways.

 

[babynurse1]

I am still here.

I know I've been missed.

Excellent progress since I last checked in.

I laughed.

I cried.

I scratched.

 

[mmeb144]

I am still here.

I know I've been missed.

Excellent progress since I last checked in.

I laughed.

I cried.

I scratched.

LOL Is it the power of suggestion or what? I'm kinda worried about the next installmant...

 

[nebo]

After Illuminations we tried to get out of the way of all the day visitors that aren't allowed to play in our park anymore and headed over to Test Track, only to find standby time at 50 minutes.

"Just keep walking, just keep walking."
No way am I joining that throng.

Then we passed Mission: Spray.
We both looked at the pavillion, then at each other and simultaneously said, "I don't think so."

Cutting back to the fountain, we went to our favorite DSA, that is no longer there.

And we cheated.

I have no idea why this spot has been removed. It's way in a corner of Mouse Gear in the back and a concrete wall along the side. It's nowhere near a main path, or any path for that matter, the only reason anyone would ever go to this spot is just to have a smoke.
When we got there, another couple was already doing the same thing and they wondered why the DSA was gone also.
I told them the only thing I can think of is because then they will have to send a worker over once in a while to clean the ashtrays when he could be doing something else.

Then it was Spaceship Earth where Diane got to hear me complain once again on how I miss "Tomorrow's Child" on the way down.

She asked what's next, I said, "Mine, mine, mine."
I think that is so clever out in Front of the Living Seas pavillion, then, for a change, I took the lead through the long maze to the Finding Nemo ride.

In the day I am totally blind in here. Tonight I could have run through the twisty maze if I wanted, I could see that well. I remember when this first opened, we tried it during the day and I couldn't see a thing in line. At the boarding station I still couldn't see, so when they told us to get in, I mistakenly thought they were facing forward like in Haunted Mansion, not sideways like they are here and I missed and fell half in and half out.
Scared the heck out of the attendent as I was being dragged along.

Yeah, scared me a tad too.

Not tonight though.
Tonight, I've got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals!

(extra credit if anyone can tell me what movie that line above came from and who said it.)

After Nemo we spent a bunch of time walking around looking at the Caribbean displays. For some reason I get a kick out of watching the little sea horses.
This is a great time to spend in here, you almost have it to yourself as everybody else taking advantage of EMH is either in line for TT or Soarin'.

It was almost 11 by now so we headed back to the Gateway, we were also getting hungry and I was looking forward to nuking up the other half of my sandwich from France.

One thing I noticed when it comes to seeing at Epcot is that I do much better in Future World then I do in the Showcase.
For some reason all the light along the main path through the countries just make it worse for me. They don't light up the path as much as they just shine in my eyes.

It was on the way back that we finally got smart.
Right before the bridge is a path down to the lake/lagoon.
It's a much easier walk then up and over the damn bridge all the time. And right where the path reconnects with the main walkway is where the gate entrance is that's the shortcut to our room.

We nuked our leftovers, and decided to attack the main pool again in the morning. Wednsday is a total resort day, no parks, no driving, just hangin around.

And guess who was elected to go and get the good spot again?

"Oh me, me, pick me, can I do it, huh huh, can I do it?"

When I woke up Wednsday morning, the sun was already shining high, and the first thought in my head was,
"Oh, Stroller Guy!"

And I felt like crap.
All the muscle aches and pains from spinning down the stairs at Indy, falling up the stairs at Indy, all the walking, climbing the stupid sand dunes at Vero, having the waves attack my knee at Vero, the skin on my bad foot is stretched tight from being so swollen, about the only thing that is improving are the blisters from wearing the canvas shoes without socks.

Ok, time out.
I dangled it again, didn't I?
A participle I mean.
Geesh.
The blisters are not improving because I wore canvas shoes without socks.
The blisters exist because I wore canvas shoes without socks.

(Geez, I sound like Mayor Daily during the Democratic Convention, "The police are not there to create disorder, the police are there to "preserve" disorder.

Anyway, on top of all that now I have a headache.
I had to think; I didn't have that much to drink yesterday, I had a whiskey and Sprite in a fuzzy cup to start, then a beer, then a Margarita with some Tequila, then I added a couple of bottles of Vodka to the Margie.

God how I love to rejuvinate my body on a nice, long vacation. Two more weeks of rejuvinating and I'll be dead.

No, not that much for a whole night, but geesh, what a combo.
"What? You couldn't find a way to work in some Schnapps and Jagermeister too?"

I still had time, quick brush my teeth, throw on my suit, comb my hair.

(just checking)

Grabbed a couple bucks, couple towels, my book, slid the room key into my pack of smokes and headed for the door.

Then I stopped.
I looked back at the safe.
Prescription bottle is in there.
My buds.

No, running way too low, just leave them. And I left.
Two steps later, and I was back at the door. I opened it again.
Screw it, I'm on a vacation that costs a lot of money that I don't have, I feel like crap as anyone else in my condition would, I'm taking a few with.

No, no, you're almost out, you're goiong to regret this big time if you don't save them.

You could almost see the little devil nebo and the little angel nebo over my head, arguing it out.

Then the little devil nebo hit below the belt.
He started singing an oldie favorite of mine by the Grass Roots, "Sha, la, la la la la Live For Today, and don't worry, bout tomorrow, heyyyyyy."

Little angel nebo went "poof", and 3 materialized in my pocket.

I left again.

Ten feet away I remember I set my book down on the sink and went back in, again.

I glanced at "She who must not be disturbed", but so far she's not breathing fire yet.

Grabbed my book again, and left, again, again.

I made it almost to the elevator this time, and, "Uh Oh,"
I don't have my mug with me.
I have to have that mug. I have to have coffee.
She may not see it and not bring it down.

And it's such a long walk and I will have come so far!

My hands were trembling as I slid the card back in the lock.

I grabbed my mug, didn't even glance at her and just as I was walking out the door I heard,
"You know, the door doesn't open that often for Trick or Treat!",
but I kept going.

In the elevator, I jabbed the 1 button, and you guessed it, another nickel dropped in.

The thought that came immediately to mind was,
Action verb, the noodles.

Got my coffee, got the newspaper, and walked right up to the front of the gate where Stroller Guy had tried to lay a claim yesterday, but no stroller today, actually, no nuttin today.
It's 5 to nine, nobody's here, not even the Gatekeeper yet.

Off in the distance I can see a cast member slowly working his way towards me.
Then, I hear a comotion behind me, and, uh, oh, here comes a woman with 3 teenagers, all loaded down to the hilt.

Hurry up cast member, please hurry up, I can tell it's gonna get ugly in a minute or so.

They were going to beat him there.
I shaded my eyes and it's the same guy that opened yesterday, oh thank you, thank you, and I waved to get his attention just before they were about to attack me.

I could tell he saw me, now I might have a fighting chance if he backs me up.

There is one thing I have learned about myself recently, I'm a much better judge of character then I used to be.

I summed this group up perfectly.

They got there just before Gatekeeper, but he could still see. As they walked up, even though I wasn't wearing my hearing aids I could still hear her say to the smallest kid to go and ask that man to let you be in front.

This time I repeated exactly what I heard, very loud so Gatekeeper could also hear, "You just told your son to ask me to stand aside and let him in front? Why? So he can see the parade better? Was I blocking his view of the fireworks? No, if I did let him in front, then as soon as the gate is open then you'll all rush up here with him yelling, "But we're with him"!

I was fired, I was sore, I had been pushed around enough this trip and I wasn't going to take any more crap from a new "Turtle Lady" reincarnation. Or Stroller Guy.

It was a tad uncomfortable for a minute, nobody said a thing as Gatekeekper looked around, then unlocked the gate and tied a band around my wrist.
But I did appreciate the big smile on his face as he did so.

When I headed to the left to get the same spot we were in yesterday I could hear behind me, "Oh, Crap!" "He's going right to wear I said we should be. I knew it, I told you boys to get a move on, now we......."

Believe me. When I hit that table and chairs, I was stripping as I walked. The newspaper and book went on top of the table with the coffee, my shirt went on one chair, the towels on another, my shoes on a third chair then I sat on the fourth.
I glanced back and she is scarfing up tables and chairs left and right. She grabbed two tables, then, as another guy was settling in at another table she went and grabbed two of his chairs before he could say a word.

Not sure if I said this but this pool is now called Storminto Bay.

I dragged up a lounger next to the table, settled down into it with my coffee, my paper, took my rheumatiz medicine and was feeling pretty proud of myself.

My heart was beating about 200 beats per minute still but, hey, what's six months off your life when it comes to putting a mean, controlling woman in her place.

I really wanted a smoke by now.
I never had a chance for one on the way to the pool cuz I was too busy playing peek-a-boo in the room before I came down.
But no way am I leaving this area until Diane gets here.

At nine thirty, she showed up, armed with the noodles.
"Yay, the noodles are here, the noodles are here!"
I felt like Steve Martin as the Jerk.

My sarcasm was lost on her again, so all I said as I grabbed my smokes way, "Hi, bye."
"Oh, and watch out for lady behind us on the left, she's a Turtle Lady, only mean."

For some reason, time just flew by that day. Have you ever
noticed that? When you don't have a schedule it's "Where did the day go?"

The highlight of the day for me was when we were in the pool, Diane showed me this spot that has a waterfall that lands on your back and neck and though that might feel good to me.
Then she got out, and left me alone with my noodle.

She was right.
It felt great, but the best part of the situation was, is that I finally noticed that the noodles are hollow, there's a hole going through the entire length of it.

And she is now baking in the hot sun for the last 15 minutes since she left me in the pool.

I started weighing my options, but that little devil nebo and angel nebo were right there.

"Don't do it, she's going to really be mad," little angel nebo said.

"Oh, c'mon. When will you have a chance like this again?"
little devil nebo responding.

This is twice now in one day I took the wrong path.

I filled that noodle full, then practiced on how to keep it inside without leaking out the bottom.
My plan was to NOT just go up and dump the noodle all over her, that would be mean, and suicidal.

I had to "make" her do the actual dumping, by accident.

I could keep all the water in the noodle if I folded it up into a U shape, but that would definately be too obvious.

She couldn't see me, so I practiced.
Practiced making the right kind of fist that could fit in the ottom without too much leaking out.
Then I had an idea.
She usually only goes about 20 minutes between dips in the pool when it's hot out, and it doesn't get much hotter than today.

I stayed in another ten minutes.

When I left the pool, my noodle was loaded, now all I have to do is talk her into grabbing it.

With the bottom of the noodle behind my right leg , my fist trying to stuff the water from leaking out, I walked up to the lounger she was lying in.

"Wow, do you look hot. Maybe you should get in the water for a few minutes."

"Yeah, you're right."
And she sat up.

(hee, hee hee)

"Here, might as well take my noodle in with you."

(hee, hee, hee, hee.)

And she stood up and grabbed the noodle near the top, picked it up and pointed the bottom at me where all the water gushed out on my stomach.

As she headed for the water with MY noodle, I heard her mumble, "Think I was born yesterday?"

Damn, with a little ambition, what a Turtle Lady she could make!

night night

 

[LisaKeys]

Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - one of my fav's! And yes, I saw it when it came out - LOL

 

[TwiddleDeeTwiddleDum]

Oh you are an ornery boy! Glad your wife was all the wiser about your noodle.....

What's all the excitement over a pool table? Surely there are lots of spots available for turtle lady 2 to use, what was so spectacular about your spot? just wondering

 

[LisaKeys]

Wow - you must have an invisible sign behind you that says, "Make my day at the gate of today's pool opening".

Kudo's to Smidgy for being one-up on you. However, count your blessings. I do believe the joke being turned on you was far better than the outcome of cold water pouring on her!

And with that - I'm heading to bed. I think these antibiotics are just as bad as the Div.

 

[Underdog369]

After Illuminations we tried to get out of the way of all the day visitors that aren't allowed to play in our park anymore and headed over to Test Track, only to find standby time at 50 minutes.

"Just keep walking, just keep walking."
No way am I joining that throng.

Then we passed Mission: Spray.
We both looked at the pavillion, then at each other and simultaneously said, "I don't think so."

Love it! Mission:Spray!

Cutting back to the fountain, we went to our favorite DSA, that is no longer there.

And we cheated.

I knew it! Find a small nook or cranny and there lies Nebo, lighting his lollypop on fire.

She asked what's next, I said, "Mine, mine, mine."
I think that is so clever out in Front of the Living Seas pavillion, then, for a change, I took the lead through the long maze to the Finding Nemo ride.

In the day I am totally blind in here. Tonight I could have run through the twisty maze if I wanted, I could see that well. I remember when this first opened, we tried it during the day and I couldn't see a thing in line. At the boarding station I still couldn't see, so when they told us to get in, I mistakenly thought they were facing forward like in Haunted Mansion, not sideways like they are here and I missed and fell half in and half out.
Scared the heck out of the attendent as I was being dragged along.

Yeah, scared me a tad too.

Not tonight though.
Tonight, I've got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals!

(extra credit if anyone can tell me what movie that line above came from and who said it.)

First, don't know who. Second, Life was a drag then, wasn't it? and C, Hooray for not being blind!

After Nemo we spent a bunch of time walking around looking at the Caribbean displays. For some reason I get a kick out of watching the little sea horses.
This is a great time to spend in here, you almost have it to yourself as everybody else taking advantage of EMH is either in line for TT or Soarin'.


And guess who was elected to go and get the good spot again?

"Oh me, me, pick me, can I do it, huh huh, can I do it?"

Ummmm, Yes. Young Nebo, you have been waving your hand enough. You may be the pool spot reserver. Please make sure to mind your manners....

When I woke up Wednsday morning, the sun was already shining high, and the first thought in my head was,
"Oh, Stroller Guy!"

And I felt like crap.
All the muscle aches and pains from spinning down the stairs at Indy, falling up the stairs at Indy, all the walking, climbing the stupid sand dunes at Vero, having the waves attack my knee at Vero, the skin on my bad foot is stretched tight from being so swollen, about the only thing that is improving are the blisters from wearing the canvas shoes without socks.

Ok, time out.
I dangled it again, didn't I?
A participle I mean.
Geesh.
The blisters are not improving because I wore canvas shoes without socks.
The blisters exist because I wore canvas shoes without socks.

(Geez, I sound like Mayor Daily during the Democratic Convention, "The police are not there to create disorder, the police are there to "preserve" disorder.

Spoken like a true government official. NEBO FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Anyway, on top of all that now I have a headache.
I had to think; I didn't have that much to drink yesterday, I had a whiskey and Sprite in a fuzzy cup to start, then a beer, then a Margarita with some Tequila, then I added a couple of bottles of Vodka to the Margie.

God how I love to rejuvinate my body on a nice, long vacation. Two more weeks of rejuvinating and I'll be dead.

No, not that much for a whole night, but geesh, what a combo.
"What? You couldn't find a way to work in some Schnapps and Jagermeister too?"

I still had time, quick brush my teeth, throw on my suit, comb my hair.

(just checking)

Let it blow in the wind, my friend. NO! NOT THAT! The hair, the hair....

Grabbed a couple bucks, couple towels, my book, slid the room key into my pack of smokes and headed for the door.

Then I stopped.
I looked back at the safe.
Prescription bottle is in there.
My buds.

No, running way too low, just leave them. And I left.
Two steps later, and I was back at the door. I opened it again.
Screw it, I'm on a vacation that costs a lot of money that I don't have, I feel like crap as anyone else in my condition would, I'm taking a few with.

No, no, you're almost out, you're goiong to regret this big time if you don't save them.

You could almost see the little devil nebo and the little angel nebo over my head, arguing it out.

Then the little devil nebo hit below the belt.
He started singing an oldie favorite of mine by the Grass Roots, "Sha, la, la la la la Live For Today, and don't worry, bout tomorrow, heyyyyyy."

Little angel nebo went "poof", and 3 materialized in my pocket.

Angel Nebo? There's devil Nebo and devilish Nebo, but no angel that I know of!

I left again.

Ten feet away I remember I set my book down on the sink and went back in, again.

I glanced at "She who must not be disturbed", but so far she's not breathing fire yet.

Grabbed my book again, and left, again, again.

I made it almost to the elevator this time, and, "Uh Oh,"
I don't have my mug with me.
I have to have that mug. I have to have coffee.
She may not see it and not bring it down.

And it's such a long walk and I will have come so far!

My hands were trembling as I slid the card back in the lock.

I grabbed my mug, didn't even glance at her and just as I was walking out the door I heard,
"You know, the door doesn't open that often for Trick or Treat!",
but I kept going.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Trick-or-Treat! Knock! Knock! Knock! Trick-or-Treat! Knock! Knock! Knock! Trick-or-Treat!

In the elevator, I jabbed the 1 button, and you guessed it, another nickel dropped in.

The thought that came immediately to mind was,
Action verb, the noodles.

Got my coffee, got the newspaper, and walked right up to the front of the gate where Stroller Guy had tried to lay a claim yesterday, but no stroller today, actually, no nuttin today.
It's 5 to nine, nobody's here, not even the Gatekeeper yet.

Off in the distance I can see a cast member slowly working his way towards me.
Then, I hear a comotion behind me, and, uh, oh, here comes a woman with 3 teenagers, all loaded down to the hilt.

Hurry up cast member, please hurry up, I can tell it's gonna get ugly in a minute or so.

They were going to beat him there.
I shaded my eyes and it's the same guy that opened yesterday, oh thank you, thank you, and I waved to get his attention just before they were about to attack me.

I could tell he saw me, now I might have a fighting chance if he backs me up.

There is one thing I have learned about myself recently, I'm a much better judge of character then I used to be.

I summed this group up perfectly.

They got there just before Gatekeeper, but he could still see. As they walked up, even though I wasn't wearing my hearing aids I could still hear her say to the smallest kid to go and ask that man to let you be in front.

This time I repeated exactly what I heard, very loud so Gatekeeper could also hear, "You just told your son to ask me to stand aside and let him in front? Why? So he can see the parade better? Was I blocking his view of the fireworks? No, if I did let him in front, then as soon as the gate is open then you'll all rush up here with him yelling, "But we're with him"!

WOW! Way to be verbose in public. I think I would have done the same thing!

I was fired, I was sore, I had been pushed around enough this trip and I wasn't going to take any more crap from a new "Turtle Lady" reincarnation. Or Stroller Guy.

It was a tad uncomfortable for a minute, nobody said a thing as Gatekeekper looked around, then unlocked the gate and tied a band around my wrist.
But I did appreciate the big smile on his face as he did so.

... And she is now baking in the hot sun for the last 15 minutes since she left me in the pool.

I started weighing my options, but that little devil nebo and angel nebo were right there.

"Don't do it, she's going to really be mad," little angel nebo said.

"Oh, c'mon. When will you have a chance like this again?"
little devil nebo responding.

This is twice now in one day I took the wrong path.

I filled that noodle full, then practiced on how to keep it inside without leaking out the bottom.
My plan was to NOT just go up and dump the noodle all over her, that would be mean, and suicidal.

I had to "make" her do the actual dumping, by accident.

I could keep all the water in the noodle if I folded it up into a U shape, but that would definately be too obvious.

She couldn't see me, so I practiced.
Practiced making the right kind of fist that could fit in the ottom without too much leaking out.
Then I had an idea.
She usually only goes about 20 minutes between dips in the pool when it's hot out, and it doesn't get much hotter than today.

I stayed in another ten minutes.

When I left the pool, my noodle was loaded, now all I have to do is talk her into grabbing it.

With the bottom of the noodle behind my right leg , my fist trying to stuff the water from leaking out, I walked up to the lounger she was lying in.

"Wow, do you look hot. Maybe you should get in the water for a few minutes."

"Yeah, you're right."
And she sat up.

(hee, hee hee)

"Here, might as well take my noodle in with you."

(hee, hee, hee, hee.)

And she stood up and grabbed the noodle near the top, picked it up and pointed the bottom at me where all the water gushed out on my stomach.

As she headed for the water with MY noodle, I heard her mumble, "Think I was born yesterday?"

Damn, with a little ambition, what a Turtle Lady she could make!

night night

SUCKER!!!!! Smidgy knew what you were up to all along!

You had me laughing out loud on this one. I thought it was hilarious!

P.S. Is that multiquote better Mr. Nebo, because it takes me twice as long to log a response....

 

[Sleeping*Beauty]

You can't fool Smidgy. The fun thing to do with the noodles is fill them up point the other end at someone then blow into your end. It sends the water all over the other person if you blow hard enough.

 

[Underdog369]

You can't fool Smidgy. The fun thing to do with the noodles is fill them up point the other end at someone then blow into your end. It sends the water all over the other person if you blow hard enough.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't put the words "blow" and "hard" in the same sentance referencing Nebo. It might leave him open to comments....

Like this one!!!

 

[fsmith2845]

You can't fool Smidgy. The fun thing to do with the noodles is fill them up point the other end at someone then blow into your end. It sends the water all over the other person if you blow hard enough.

When I first started reading that part of the chapter that is exactly what i thought he was going to do!! I started laughing as he set up. Funny that Smidgy caught him in the act and it backfired. (sorry Nebo). It was a gallant effort...

 

[debsters41]

Hi Smidgy and Nebo! I just found your trip report today and am going back to start reading.

Better late than never!

I do always seem to be late when it comes to you guys, I was so sorry not to get our little 'Dismeet' last year.

How 'bout next August? There's free dining, ya know

 

[winkers]

I can't imagine what it is about tables and chairs at a pool that turn normal every day people into complete idiots. Ok, so maybe she wasn't nice to begin with.

I loved the noodle plan....too bad Smidgy is to smart for it. You even had me rooting for you for it to work......but it was funnier the way it turned out.
Hey, at least you were already wet.

 

[McDisney]

I was hoping that she had just forgotten all about it but as they say, an elephant never forgets.

Wait, that didn't come out right either, it's just a phrase.... McDisney, help me out here.

Really Smidgy, that is a phrase used alot - has not one bad connotation to it at all, just means you have a really good memory and are able to recall large quantities of information when needed or called upon.

$5 please Nebo


And so,
Slowwwwwwly we moved,
Step by step,
Inch by inch

Gosh, can't place where I've heard that, but I'm picturing a cartoon


Yep, there it was. The big 8-0.

Feet. Not the score then?

Just got back from the mouse house, gotta go catch up some more now

 

[Self_resqing_princz]

"8, 9, 10,,,,YER OUT!"
Okay-- you are HILARIOUS! TOO FUNNY NEBO! I've been so busy this week, the last time I had time to read a TR was the day you posted chapter 21.. and I only got to read half of it! I just finished chapter 21... and I'm about to read chapter 22.
Thanks for brightening my day at work! I've got SO much to do this week, I just hope I have time to catch up before we LEAVE FOR WDW!

I'm HOPING I have enough time to start a pre-trip report.
Nebo, remember how you said you'd give me tips on how to "correctly write a trip report"? When do classes begin?

 

[Rozz]

...

Nebo, remember how you said you'd give me tips on how to "correctly write a trip report"? When do classes begin?

Me too! I want trip report writing lessons by nebo and an additional class for ideas for playing tricks on my spouse.

Wait a minute; noodle caper back fired. Scratch the class for tricks to play on spouse. I'll just stick with the report writing lessons!

 

[mmeb144]

Quote:
Originally Posted by nebo
I was hoping that she had just forgotten all about it but as they say, an elephant never forgets.

Wait, that didn't come out right either, it's just a phrase.... McDisney, help me out here.

McDisney said:

Really Smidgy, that is a phrase used alot - has not one bad connotation to it at all, just means you have a really good memory and are able to recall large quantities of information when needed or called upon.

$5 please Nebo

Can I borrow you for my trip report?

 

[tiggerwannabe]

kbye

 

[nebo]

As always your mind works in hilarious ways.

It has to LadyMar, unemployment ran out a long time ago. Glad you're back with us.

I am still here.

I know I've been missed.

Excellent progress since I last checked in.

I laughed.

I cried.

I scratched.

Hi Elivabiff, yes, I did miss you, but my aim is getting better. Really nice to hear from you again.

LOL Is it the power of suggestion or what? I'm kinda worried about the next installmant...

See? There was nothing to worry about. The Porky's episodes are all done.

Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - one of my fav's! And yes, I saw it when it came out - LOL

Wow! You sure were quick with that one. Yes, I saw it at the show myself, 8 times!
My buddy and I quoted lines from it for the next six months, "I'm colorful." "Who are those guys?" "What's the matter with those guys?" and of course,,,,," Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.."

Oh you are an ornery boy! Glad your wife was all the wiser about your noodle.....

What's all the excitement over a pool table? Surely there are lots of spots available for turtle lady 2 to use, what was so spectacular about your spot? just wondering

Twiddles, many people will tell you that picking out a table is an exact science. There is the shade factor, the distance to the pool, distance to the gate if it's a gated pool, relationship to being either close or as far away as possible to the children's pool/ play area, distance to bathrooms, drinking fountain, snack stand, and of course, the distance to the smoking area. And believe me, some folks take the Homestead Act seriously. But it's the worst at the gated pools.

Wow - you must have an invisible sign behind you that says, "Make my day at the gate of today's pool opening".

Kudo's to Smidgy for being one-up on you. However, count your blessings. I do believe the joke being turned on you was far better than the outcome of cold water pouring on her!

And with that - I'm heading to bed. I think these antibiotics are just as bad as the Div.

Lisa you're probably right about the joke, and I hope you feel better soon.