Friends/Family going/ $$ question

[Boston5602]

ok let me ask , what would YOU do? ( let me preface this with I want to hear what you have to say , I just might not follow your advice )Anyways every year or just about my friends and I go first week of June and we take airfare transportation and hotel and split evenly among us. Now if I start using my points to pay for hotel , we always stayed at BWV anyways , do I not include this in the total split , include it , or only pay cash?



Thanks for your input



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[sagwanamu]

When I invite my family, I don't expect them to pay for the accomdation or any part that I don't pay. Of course, they have to pay for park tickets, etc and share the cost of grocery if we order in.

But they always pay few hundreds dollars to share the cost of maintenance fee, none asked.

Althogh I have not invited my friends, but if I invite a friend, I would make sure they pay for something, such as nice dinner out or groceries.

IMHO, you shouldn't expect anything from family but you should ask/make them pay for something if you are taking friends.

 

[bpmorley]

ok let me ask , what would YOU do? ( let me preface this with I want to hear what you have to say , I just might not follow your advice )Anyways every year or just about my friends and I go first week of June and we take airfare transportation and hotel and split evenly among us. Now if I start using my points to pay for hotel , we always stayed at BWV anyways , do I not include this in the total split , include it , or only pay cash?



Thanks for your input



.

Most people rent their points for around 10/point. So why not split that. charge them 5/point.

 

[NYBlue1]

....I can't believe the comments about family and friends. I feel half the fun of the points is treating people to a nice stay. I would never think of charging friends or family. The more you give in the long run the more you will receive.

I will keep that in mind the next time I have no money to do anything with my immediate family but let them stay in a hotel room on their disney vacation. I dont have the money to foot the bill for my family, if I did I would do it, I think that most people would, , we are not all as lucky as you to be able to afford the luxery of being so generous. Your a prince/ princess amongst men/women head on into the bathroom and give yourself a big pat on the back in the bathroom mirror.

 

[cman]

Look, there are certainly arguments for both sides here. But.....

Those of you who pay for other people shouldn't be shocked by the fact that some of us don't have the money to to treat friends and family to free lodging. We're going on our third trip to WDW with a large group of family members - 18. At $10 a point (I don't have enough points so we transfer) the 3 trips would have cost me in the nieghborhood of $35,000. You know what that means? One trip would have been all anyone got if they hadn't offered to pay something towards the cost.

I guess it doesn't offend any of my family because they were the ones begging to do it again.

 

[Amy&Dan]

....I can't believe the comments about family and friends. I feel half the fun of the points is treating people to a nice stay. I would never think of charging friends or family. The more you give in the long run the more you will receive.

That assumes that you have it to give in the first place. With two kids in braces, college funds to fund, helping my elderly parents pay their staggering pharmacy bill each month and who knows what else, I am doing good to get myself and my family to WDW. We go a 2-3 times per year, I guess I could cut back to once and take some friends or family but that never occured to me and why should it? As far as our parents, when we invited them, we paid, for EVERYTHING they ate, saw rode and slept in at WDW. We knew at their age and health, it was a one time thing and it was great and worth every penney. For others I don't feel any obligation to do so whatsoever. Anymore than I expect them to treat me to an expensive vacation. This is not like treating somebody to dinner, this is a huge expense. I think its great you can afford to. But I won't sacrifice the things I need to do for my children to pay for a family member's (outside my parents and dh's dad) or friend's vacation. Someday when my kids are older and have kids of their own, you betcha, but until then I just can't afford to do it.

 

[bpmorley]

Everybody is in a different situation. We've only been members since 04. We've only taken people with us once. We didn't charge because we asked if they wanted to go. We couldn't get a 1bdr, we had already booked a studio before they decided to go. So I couldn't charge(and wouldn't) them to share a studio. I think we allowed them to buy us a meal. Now if they had invited themselves, it may have been a different story. Me and my wife don't have any kids. We don't make a ton of money(I'm a fireman, she's a secretary). So in years to come when we have children the story may be different. People with kids, tuitions, health costs, etc... can't afford to pay for other peoples vacations. I get that. To the people who can afford to do that, good for you. And I just hope that the people you treat appreciate it. For those who can't, you enjoy your DVC. It belongs to you and nobody else

 

[flechette]

I'm glad to see this thread cause I've already got a problem with friends planning trips to WDW on our points and we're not even owners yet!

I made the mistake of leaving out the pretty purple book when some friends came over and man did people pounce on it. Some of it was just good natured joshing but I know at least 2 who are- well - moochers- and we're going to have to set some sort of guidelines NOW or we'll get railroaded later on.

We're think more like - one couple comes along they pay for one dining plan for me or hubby; more than 1 couple and both our dining plans are paid for.

That said one reason, Tim and I are considering OKW vs SSR is the lower point cost for GV so we can treat family and friends occassionally (and more easily)


I agree those who can afford to be so generous are wonderful, but I've worked very hard to get out of debt, DVC will be my reward for that hard work, and I won't go back into debt just to be seen as "generous"

 

[CarolMN]

When friends and family invite themselves, I just smile and say we'd love to have them along, but we can't afford to pay for anyone else's vacation. Then I ask if they want to buy in, too and offer my guide's 800 number. If they don't I offer to help them rent someone else's "time" (I say "points" if I think they understand at least a little about the system, which no one outside of DVC really does, LOL). That usually takes care of the "moochers" and also the family & friends we do NOT want to vacation with, LOL.

So far, we have invited selected family members along on some of our trips and when we do, we take care of the room. No charge. Everyone takes care of his/her own air transportation and park tickets. We split groceries, but generally everyone pays for thier own meals & souvenirs. Our guests usually pick up the cost of the rental car and one or more meals out as a thank you.

Best wishes -

 

[golfnut1264]

my parents would not go unless they paid us...same with my brothers and friends....i charged my brother would can easily afford it $1500 for a week in a 1br at the BW...i charged my friend $1000 for a studio for 1 week in BW...i booked a 2br for my family and my parents and i told them to give me nothing and the gave me a $1000 (and can easily afford it) and told me that would go otherwise...m y financial is spotty at best ...we struggle to keep dvc but by selling it helps pay for AP's and airfare and dues so we are able to keep it...if i was a millionaire and had plenty of points i wouldnt charge anybody anything but i am not....just trying to get by like most others...so without knowing anyones situation dotn make statements like i cant believe you charge family and friends.....my family thoroughly enjoyed our vaction together and appreciate the fact that i was able to save them some money and give deluxe accomadations.......

 

[crisi]

....I can't believe the comments about family and friends. I feel half the fun of the points is treating people to a nice stay. I would never think of charging friends or family. The more you give in the long run the more you will receive.

You sound exceptionally blessed. You have the resources to treat the people you care about, and apparently the people you care about don't take advantage of the situation. Consider yourself fortunate. Most people don't have sufficient resources to be able to take their own immediate families on vacation as often as they'd like, much less be able to allow their second cousin's neighbor use of their points. And most of us have at least a few relatives or friends that are moochers. They may be great people to hang out with, but you've stopped going out for dinner with them because they always forget their wallet.

From the tone of the OP it sounds like these relations are moochers, and perhaps the OP hasn't quite learned how to say "no." And that can be a hard thing to learn, especially if the family dynamic is set up to enable the moochers. One of the things that is nice about this board is that other people can tell how they phrase "no" to stop the moochers in their tracks without giving offense ("I'll be happy to show you a place where you can rent points.").

Another thing is that a lot of DVC owners have been jerked around by their "guests" - some have even gone as far as charging rooms they'd gladly give for free - simply because things taken for free are sometimes wasted by those that don't understand that to the owner there was a cost involved. Owners tell stories about guests who decided two days before the trip to not go - leaving the owner with an extra studio. Or sharing a two bedroom with friends for free, only to have the friends invite other friends that the owner isn't fond of - now there are six adults in a two bedroom - two adults that the owner doesn't want to spend a week with! My favorite story was the one where the owner's guests invited another couple - and then uninvited the owner!

Now some of us have relatives we'd have gladly picked, and friends who reciprocate in kind as they can, and resources to share. And those of us in these circumstances are fortunate, but should acknowledge that perhaps we shouldn't judge unless our sister in law has been known to "borrow" our best jewelry and never return it - but we can't tell her to jump in the lake for the sake of family harmony.

 

[bpmorley]

Very well put Golfnut.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I'm glad to see this thread cause I've already got a problem with friends planning trips to WDW on our points and we're not even owners yet!

I made the mistake of leaving out the pretty purple book when some friends came over and man did people pounce on it. Some of it was just good natured joshing but I know at least 2 who are- well - moochers- and we're going to have to set some sort of guidelines NOW or we'll get railroaded later on.

I agree those who can afford to be so generous are wonderful, but I've worked very hard to get out of debt, DVC will be my reward for that hard work, and I won't go back into debt just to be seen as "generous"

Thats what happened to us! I had our book laying out, a friend who knows her Disney immediately noticed it laying on my kitchen table and said something to the effect of: "great, now we can stay with you and save a bundle"! I told her, sorry, if we take anybody it will be immediate family only. She was kind of miffed and told me about all the people she knows who share their time shares. Well, DVC is more expensive I said and tried to justify my "selfishness" (her words not mine). But then I had to laugh because she had pulled up in her new $35,000 car, the one that was parked right next to my old minivan, they have a bigger house, ski, snowmobile, etc. and it occurred to me that my DVC purchase comes at a sacrifice to other things in my life. Will she take me skiing, let me borrow their snowmobile or treat me to one of the many fancy dinners they eat out each week as a trade off for my points they will use? I don't think so! So why should I feel guilty or obligated? And you shouldn't either. And I totally understand about the debt thing. And you are right, you would go into debt to finance someone else's vacation. We always pay cash for our vacations until the last two trips when we took our respective parents. Those were the trips where we whipped out that credit card so much it practically begged for mercy! But that was for our parents, who will never get to go to WDW or anywhere else again so I am fine with that and just now paid it off. But for somebody else, no way! I think some of the people who treat others are older, have their DVC paid off and are in a whole different set of circumstances than my husband and I are. I envy that but can't compete with or copy it. Now in 20 years when the kids are grown, I can just envision the times my husband and I will take them, their kids and spouses and stay in a Grand Villa. Hopefully the braces and college will be paid off by then or I may have to charge them after all!

 

[Rozzie]

I would not ever charge my family for the room. Sorry, just wouldn't. Doens't make you wrong, or myself wrong. Now if they want to help with gas and food I would not refuse. But I would let it be their option. The difference is we always do the inviting. I have never had anyone invite themselves. I might approach that situaiton with a different feeling....

We are very excited to treat our Moms this Jan to a 2BR BWV for the 65th bdays. (they are same age) We are buying their airfare and meals also as a birthday gift. I feel very blessed to be able to treat them.

 

[FayeW]

I think the question you have to ask yourself is "If I didn't own DVC, would I pay for this person's hotel room?" If the answer is "NO" then, charge them for their room, or the difference in the # of points for the accomodations you chose vs. what you needed for your family. Just because you own it, doesn't mean you have to give it away!

It's one thing when guests come to stay at your home; that is the same size regardless of whether it is being occupied by your family or 20 guests. When you are renting GV and multiple rooms, it's time to stop the insanity! There is nothing wrong with telling people "I have enough points for a my family. If you want to come it's $XXXX."

 

[Deb & Bill]

You can always tell the moochers that you're sorry, but you don't have the points to share. But if they'd love to come along, call 1-407-WDISNEY and they will be glad to help you find accomodations.

 

[bpmorley]

So why should I feel guilty or obligated?

The answer is YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY OR OBLIGATED. DVC belongs to you and you alone. You don't have to give it to anyone and they shouldn't expect it. If I was in position to have everyone I know use the place I would, but I can't. And I get the point about people with more money wanting free things. How do you think they got more money?

 

[flechette]

You can always tell the moochers that you're sorry, but you don't have the points to share. But if they'd love to come along, call 1-406-WDISNEY and they will be glad to help you find accomodations.

Lord I wish I could, if only to see the expressions! I can be SUCH a wimp. OTOH if being nice means I don't get my vacations I suspect I'll find a backbone and fangs pretty darn quick.

 

[sajetto]

I'm amazed at all this generosity. We have done everything we know how to keep our DVC a secret from the family except my folks. The moment they found out I know they'd be inviting themselves.

Sorry, but I'm not putting myself in debt for everyone else. If you want to go, get a hotel room. Simple as that.

 

[bpmorley]

Lord I wish I could, if only to see the expressions! I can be SUCH a wimp. OTOH if being nice means I don't get my vacations I suspect I'll find a backbone and fangs pretty darn quick.

Well you'll have to remember the way that everyone told you to say no nicely. I'm sure once it starts costing you your fun, you're stop the madness