Friends/Family going/ $$ question

[Muushka]

Funny thing about friends that 'mooch'. They don't get invited back!

We had some 'moochers' stay with us at VWL for 2 nights. I'll tell you what, if it was free (including stuff in our refrigerator), they grabbed it (even to take for the ride home). Never once offered to pay for anything, or share anything. I cannot stand that. Of course we didn't realize the true mooching mentality until we spent a few days with it. They ask us about VWL every year, and we do not ask them to join us. We have offered to make them hotel reservations though. So strange, they just don't want to do that!

We have some other friends, the 'non-mooching' vareity. You know the type, nice, appreciative, don't expect anything. They are coming for a full week at BWV with us next month. We don't expect anything to be paid to us because we invited them to come along-they did not invite themselves.
There is a difference.

 

[bpmorley]

Muush, you should do what I did. Years ago I had some of the mooching type of friends. I just don't bother with them anymore. I'm a pretty generous person and I can't stand cheap people. There is a difference between cheap because you don't have it and cheap cause you don't want to spend it. I've disassociated myself with all of those people. We took a couple and their 6 yo daughter with us for 5 days at BCV. They wanted to pay for everything. i think I let them buy one meal, but I paid for all 5 of us to eat at Cape May Cafe. They make less than we do(not that we're making a ton) but they couldn't thank us enough. Their daughter still thanks me. That's all the payment I need.

 

[dianeschlicht]

We have never charged guests anything, and while most usually take us out to a very nice dinner or something like Cirque du Soliel, some can't afford to do that, and from them, a SINCERE thank you is all I really want. Unfortunately, we did have one couple who didn't even do that! Those are the ones we don't invite back. We LOVE sharing our DVC with family and friends. It really is one of the reasons we purchased. I wouldn't feel right charging folks that I invite to join us. Now, if someone wants to "borrow" points, for a trip of their very own....they're out of luck!

 

[Muushka]

Muush, you should do what I did. Years ago I had some of the mooching type of friends. I just don't bother with them anymore. I'm a pretty generous person and I can't stand cheap people. There is a difference between cheap because you don't have it and cheap cause you don't want to spend it. I've disassociated myself with all of those people. We took a couple and their 6 yo daughter with us for 5 days at BCV. They wanted to pay for everything. i think I let them buy one meal, but I paid for all 5 of us to eat at Cape May Cafe. They make less than we do(not that we're making a ton) but they couldn't thank us enough. Their daughter still thanks me. That's all the payment I need.

Sadly, we did what you did. We really don't see these friends anymore.

The friends we are taking with us will some day (well the husband anyway) be a pastor of a church. They give freely of themselves (to the church), so makes it nice to be able to give something back to them.

 

[jj13]

Great topic and timely too.

We took my brother, his wife and 3 boys a few years ago. We didn't charge them but they offered to pay to stock the room with groceries and surprised us by buying us dinner at Coral Reef. It was a great trip.

I've taken my mom at no cost.

This year we're going with a family who are friends (not family). I'm trying to rent points which I've never done before so we'll see how it goes. My plan is to use my points to get the accomodations I normally would and then have her pay for the rental of points to upgrade to the size room we'll need for all of us. It will still be much cheaper for her and we're spending what we would anyway. Plus it sounds like a blast!

 

[bpmorley]

Great topic and timely too.

We took my brother, his wife and 3 boys a few years ago. We didn't charge them but they offered to pay to stock the room with groceries and surprised us by buying us dinner at Coral Reef. It was a great trip.

I've taken my mom at no cost.

This year we're going with a family who are friends (not family). I'm trying to rent points which I've never done before so we'll see how it goes. My plan is to use my points to get the accomodations I normally would and then have her pay for the rental of points to upgrade to the size room we'll need for all of us. It will still be much cheaper for her and we're spending what we would anyway. Plus it sounds like a blast!

JJ, a few people brought that point up. Have the people you're bringing pay the difference in room size. I don't think that is totally unfair.

 

[robinb]

We have invited family a lot, but we never *asked* them to contribute. They have volunteered a meal here or there and that was fine with me. I was a bit peeved when my BIL and his wife came with their two kids prior to 1999 and they had a free room and free park tickets for the adults and they didn't even buy us a single meal. Let's just say they have not been invited back since.

ETA: I guess in the future I will ask my guests to pay for 1/2 of our meal plan.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

We invite people (my mom or friends) almost every trip. It adds tremendously to our enjoyment. However, it doesn't require us to get a bigger room. (we get the 2 bedroom for the four of us, so there is plenty of space).
I'd like to add that I am troubled to see so many people in financial trouble real or perceived (hint: if you go to WDW 3 times a year, you are not broke) paying for DVC points. It's a luxury item - not a necessity. I received some advice from an original DVC member on Prodigy way back when we first decided to join. I was fairly young with a new family and not so certain we could handle the payments. He was a lawyer from Illinois with 3 children (the last 2 were twins) and I’ve always wondered what happened to him. Anyway, he said that not buying into the DVC was not the end of the world. And as much as I have enjoyed our membership and I was very, very lucky to have been able to make those payments once I became a single mom, I know now that it would not have been the end of the world to have postponed joining or maybe not joined at all. Having 11+ years on the bbs, I’ve learned that reality can be distorted here in the virtual world. Reading the bbs, one would think EVERYONE makes multiple trips to WDW, EVERYONE is a DVC member or at least a Grand Floridian concierge guest with endless amounts of money to throw at $200 Breathless trips and $100 breakfasts. It becomes a game of keeping up with the Jones. Most people in this country NEVER make it once to WDW. And so many of those who are lucky enough to visit, go once in a lifetime.

 

[zalansky]

We are going Labor Day weekend with DH's family for my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary (which is in June and we are throwing them a party for that as well)...we reserved 3 studios and a one bedroom (for us), the studios go to 1)in-laws 2)SIL who is single but taking a friend and 3)BIL who is taking his girlfriend. We are not charging the in-laws for their room however we ARE charging the SIL and BIL $10 per point for their rooms. We did not set the trip up as an invite. A trip to WDW was brought up and we offered to use our points so we could get better accomodations (they wanted to stay at a value or moderate)...but it was made clear this was no freebie for the sister and brother. They have plenty of $ and can afford it, while we haven't even made our first DVC payment yet! The money they give us will go to DVC to pay down our balance. Flame away if you like...but also let me add BIL and SIL (and even my MIL) are not my most favorite people in this world!

 

[bom_noite]

This is really terrible! Most of my family lives in and around Florida (though none in Orlando area).

We have never told them we own at DVC. We visit them every few years - but - when we go to DVC it is our time.

So, we have kept it as our little secret.

 

[SoCalKDG]

We always travel on Saturday, get to WDW late, thus stay at Pop 1st night. We normally book a 1 bedroom from Sunday to the following Tuesday(9 nights). If family/friends is coming with us we will bump up to a 2 bedroom for Sunday to Friday and that portion of the trip is on us(actual cost is less than $400 so why not).

Family/friends then have the option of

A) Ending their vacation and going home as we move to a 1 bedroom or try another deluxe on cash

B) Family moves to a hotel room and continues vacation through the weekend

C) They pay for the extra points over the weekend through Monday/Tuesday and we stay where we are.

 

[CapeCodFam]

I ask myself: would I write them a big check for no reason or to pay for CRO..?? If it were my parents, Yes. Anyone else, no. Same w/DVC. Even though we don't actually 'see' the money, it still costs huge...

 

[MyGoofy26]

Not an owner yet (end of summer if all goes well *crossing fingers* otherwise sometimes this fall)

I can see both sides - the people that do and don't treat family and friends. I already have ideas in my head about who I'm going to "share" trips with, just because I know they aren't obligating me and would truly appreciate it. It makes you feel good to do something so nice for someone who doesn't expect it. But that's the thing. . . it kind of kills the buzz when it's *expected* and it turns from you doing a nice thing to doing what you're "required" to do.

 

[Hollymom1229]

My family has started batting around the idea of a family trip in a couple of years. DH and I have offered up our DVC points to help defray the costs for everyone. We'll be charging $100 per person for the use of DVC, which will cover airfare and dining plan for DH and I. I don't think we are being unreasonable. I love my family, but they are all comfortable financially, while DH and I are the young ones. While we are financially secure they are comfortable, so I don't think we are being unreasonable to charge them what amounts to $20 per person per night for a deluxe room on property.

 

[bpmorley]

This board is almost like the renting one. There are DVC members that rent to strangers for profit and there are owners that won't rent and don't think you should be able to rent. We all understand that you can't own DVC and be broke, but there are different levels of money. We were able to scrape by and make the payments on our first contract. Then we came into some money and bought the second. But that's it. We still live week to week. We're not broke, but we're certainly not rich. We may be expecting our first child soon. I'm just glad we were able to buy DVC before that happened. now if I want to charge people who invite themselves on my vacation, that is my prerogative. If I invite someone then i don't expect anything. Everyone is different. Some people are just skimming by and can't afford to take people unless they pay. That's just the way it is

 

[mamatojon]

This is really terrible! Most of my family lives in and around Florida (though none in Orlando area).

We have never told them we own at DVC. We visit them every few years - but - when we go to DVC it is our time.

So, we have kept it as our little secret.

You're not alone, I'll be terrible with you! LOL. My dad lives in Ocala, and the thought of visiting him once/twice a year is unbearable. I love him dearly, but he is definitely a person that absence makes the heart grow fonder of. We just butt heads constantly. So he doesn't know about DVC and we will just plan a week with him every other year or so *before* DVC, because I still want to see him, just not that much!

 

[pouncingpluto]

For us, it would depend on the situation. If I invited my parents, I wouldn't ask them to pay anything. But if we had a great big family reunion and got a grand villa for it, I would ask people to chip in, because DVC is essentially our vacation fund, and using that many points would mean we had used three years of our fund!

If we go with some friends our age (we're a young married couple, no kids), and get a two-bedroom for us all to share, I'd want them to pay for the difference between a one-bedroom and a two-bedroom. But if that couple had just fallen on hard times, we would probably just be happy to give them a fun time and not ask for any reimbursement.

 

[bpmorley]

We're in the same boat. We recently married, no kids. We're studio people, that way we can go more or stay longer. If I invite someone it's on me, but if they invite themselves they are paying

 

[mamatojon]

We have a different sort of "thing" about money in our family. Our parents don't even like accepting holiday gifts from us, I can't imagine that they would be okay with *not* paying something. My MIL/FIL have just assumed that they would be reimbursing us somehow for the upgrade to the 2BR this fall, either by buying our park tickets or giving us cash... not sure how they are going to do it but I would bet money on it that they will overcompensate because that is just how they are. And we can not refuse, LOL. That would be insulting. Same with my mom, although we don't have any plans to take her as she just doesn't "get" Disney. (Can you imagine!? )

My sister is disabled and hates Florida, so she doesn't want to come, although she would take a free vacation if it were somewhere she wanted to go. With the exeption of one of my husband's siblings, all would be very very uncomfortable with a gift of that size. For so long when we were all younger we were so broke and never exchanged gifts other than homemade stuff, even though we can afford to now it has become something that is tradition, we just don't give eachother big things. One year I tried buying everyone gifts and you should have seen the reaction, I went back to baking real quick, LOL. For our planned big trip they want to pay me my point cost, so we arrived at $6/pt for the cost over and above what we would spend on a 1BR and divided it out 3 ways between the 3 families - that equals about $500 per family for a 9 nt stay. Seems fair to me and they actually think they should be paying more! I have to tell them I'm not going to make a profit off of family, LOL. MIL/FIL are thinking about buying DVC so that should make things a bit easier, they wouldn't charge a cent for the room (just as I won't for my kids when they are older either).

Now that other SIL... she's a different story, LOL. She'd take the room and be offended that you didn't pay her air/passes too. I can just hear her saying, "How am I supposed to come up with that kind of money???" Then she'd cancel two days before we left.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I'd like to add that I am troubled to see so many people in financial trouble real or perceived (hint: if you go to WDW 3 times a year, you are not broke) paying for DVC points. It's a luxury item - not a necessity. I received some advice from an original DVC member on Prodigy way back when we first decided to join. I was fairly young with a new family and not so certain we could handle the payments. He was a lawyer from Illinois with 3 children (the last 2 were twins) and I’ve always wondered what happened to him. Anyway, he said that not buying into the DVC was not the end of the world. And as much as I have enjoyed our membership and I was very, very lucky to have been able to make those payments once I became a single mom, I know now that it would not have been the end of the world to have postponed joining or maybe not joined at all. Having 11+ years on the bbs, I’ve learned that reality can be distorted here in the virtual world. Reading the bbs, one would think EVERYONE makes multiple trips to WDW, EVERYONE is a DVC member or at least a Grand Floridian concierge guest with endless amounts of money to throw at $200 Breathless trips and $100 breakfasts. It becomes a game of keeping up with the Jones. Most people in this country NEVER make it once to WDW. And so many of those who are lucky enough to visit, go once in a lifetime.

I am not sure I completely understand your point. Are you saying that people like me, who go 3 times per year, but don't feel in the financial position to give our points to others for free, have no business owning DVC? I think you might be referring to me since I posted I go three times a year but don't have the money to finance others vacations . In any case, there is a big difference between me affording to go to WDW with my husband and kids, 3 times a year and not desiring to, or having the resources to treat others (outside my parents and my fil) to a trip to WDW. To me, treating my friends and family would give them the impression I have soooo much money, or how else could I afford to do this? That sounds a lot more like a "keeping up with the Jones" attitude than just being honest and up front that yeah, I can afford to do a lot of things for myself but not everybody else. And you are right, DVC is luxury item. I bought my points which cost almost exactly the same amount as the new minivan I test drove right before our trip when we bought DVC. When I toured SSR and thought about the times my husband and I could enjoy there with our two kids, my current minivan never looked so good! Thank God we had decided to buy a new car after vacation! We all have luxury items that we could do without, mine is my DVC, my friend who wants to use my DVC for free has hers parked in her garage. Her choice, she can always trade that car in for a klunker, buy a DVC share and we can all go to WDW together on our own respective points. I certainly have never asked her if I can drive her new car for a week so I can experience that firsthand and if I did and she said no, I wouldn't think, uh oh, she clearly shouldn't have bought that car if she can't afford to loan it to me. I have a ton of friends who have season tickets to the Avalanche and Broncos. When they go out of town, sometimes they offer us the tickets, for a price. It has never one time occurred to me to think, hey they pay for those whether they go or I go, why can't they just give them to me? I would never pay that kind of money for sporting event season tickets, and I would never second guess how or why they can afford to. I learned along time ago, we all spend our money differently. What is right for one family is not right for another. And its nobody's business and nobody's right to judge how you use or share your luxuries in life.

I say if people are able to and feel comfortable letting others use their points for free, go for it. If you can't then don't feel guilty about it, say no nicely and enjoy those points that belong to YOU first and foremost.