Did we get the shock of our lives last night. Around dinner, our next door neighbor and good friend comes over, tells my husband to please watch her 7 yr old son, and would I come out and talk to her on the driveway. She proceeds to tell me, hyperventilating, that her husband left her for his best friends wife. They were planning on telling my friend that night but she saw the two of them in town together when he was supposed to be home sick...yea I know, I can't make this stuff up. They are church going people who attend church retreats, bible studies, and have lived through the word of god as long as we've known them. I'm obviously closer to her, since we're both moms and spend a lot of time sitting on the deck watching her son and my daughter play, so we chat a lot more. She is a very sweet soul who lives true to her word. While we've always gotten along with him -bbqs, bonfires, hanging out on the driveway-I know he's more stubborn and when he believes something, he will argue his way until he's black and blue. Still, I'd never in a million yrs think of him as doing this to their family., especially their 7 and 13 yr old boys I love like they were my own sons and are truly the nicest, kindest boys I've ever met.
Fast forward to today...he never came home last night, she went to work, boys are staying at their grandparents house, like they had planned to due to no school. The associate pastor at their old church talked to both him and the other woman (she is very very active in the church) and he was non-responsive to it and she went back to her husband. He told my friend today that he wants to file for divorce and bankruptcy. She's devastated and wants him back or at least to give her a chance. I know, I know. We are all telling her to leave and let him crawl back and beg for her. He ended up being at home when she came home tonight and she's just begging him to listen to her. Again, we friends are telling her, go somewhere else tonight.
So I've NEVER EVER experienced this from anyone I know. Only seen it on Dateline stories or movies or tv plots! If anyone has some good legal advice (they have very few assest and money, he has a decent paying job and she was a stay home mom who went back to work two years ago as a bank teller. No college education) or relationship advice....I'd love to hear it. I'm a strong woman and can give her my shoulder to cry on and ear to vent to and some tough love words or wisdom, but not on cheating husbands! Thanks!!!!!
UPDATE POST #16
I'd just make sure my car and my doors are locked. Really, stay out of it. I still shake my head at the story of my ex going to my girlfriend's house and crying to them. They were, um, uncomfortable. 16 years later, they still bring it up how ackward it was when we get to drinking and joking around. 
Um, Happy Easter DISers!
. If I were your neighbor, I would sit tight (no leaving the house overnight, I would stay there and stand my ground). She needs to look over their finances if she doesn't already know what they have or owe. I don't know about them all running to the pastor and his wife, that may not be the best place to get counsel. I think your friend needs to take a time out and not do anything rash. People can do crazy things in the middle of family drama, just encourage her to take this one day at a time and think about protecting herself and her kids, not necessarily the marriage.
I had no idea what she was doing. Her husband stuck by her and their marriage is better than ever at this point. However, the difference to me for your friend is neither one of these spouses mentioned divorce. Your friend's DH did and that is why I think she needs to be ready to seek legal advice.
