Freshman "Funds"

[chicagodisneyfan]

I don't have a bad opinion of my own children, just kids in general who attend liberal arts colleges. My kids are not even close to college age yet. When I was in school, I had a job and never even thought of asking my parents to pay for anything, including my tuition. I thought of myself as an adult (which I was at 18) and I was proud to take care of my own life. I will not be paying for my kids education. I've talked to my son about joining the military to pay for school and talked to my daughter about the College of the Ozarks which is a work for your tuition school. You are assigned a job on campus and you graduate debt free. It's also a very strict Christian college, so no partying going on there

Serious question - do you like your children? You always speak of them being on their own at age 18. You said you refused to buy them bike helmets when they wanted them because you think helmets are stupid. You do not follow the standards as to booster seats in cars. Makes me wonder if you enjoy them.

Plus - why the double standard - why do you only talk to your son about military service? Can't your daughter do that too and pay for her schooling?

 

[DVCLiz]

I gotta say - I don't understand the whole "I want them to concentrate on school/college" as a excuse for not working in college or high school.
We aren't rich but we could afford to let them have a free ride. We won't.
College tuition, room and board (meal plan) andd books are paid for us for 4 years. Any extras they need for food, clothes, funny money - its up to them to get a job and learn to live with a budget like we do.
When you get into the real word you to balance your job AND work AND household AND children if you have them!
My older two have had excellent grades and been very active in school as well as holding down part time jobs for their fun money.
My husband will not hire candidates who have not worked in HS or college anymore. They have no drive to do things on their own, cannot multi-task and have no work ethics.

With all due respect, your kids are getting a free ride. Extra money for fun, food and clothes is insignificant in the long run - most kids, including mine, can pick up part time summer or school year jobs to fund that kind of spending.

I think it is easier to learn to budget and live in the real world when you actually have a job and have to make your earned dollars stretch. Any kid can "learn" he or she can't go out for pizza two weekends in a row when there's only enough money for one pizza.

 

[DVCLiz]

Sometimes things happen. My mom helped me with college as much as she could. Thankfully I received grants, loans and work study. It wasn't easy for her after my father passed away. It was always expected I would go to college, and thankfully we were able to make it work. So please don't think that if a parent can't fully fund an education it means that education wasn't put first or that they aren't involved in higher education goals.

Of course - that happened in my family, too. My point was to the poster above me, not everyone in general. But just saying you have picked out two specific schools that will be "free" and you have no other plan in place and ridicule those who do is just ridiculous to my way of thinking. Who would really do that to their children when the time came?

 

[Princess Dolly]

Of course - that happened in my family, too. My point was to the poster above me, not everyone in general. But just saying you have picked out two specific schools that will be "free" and you have no other plan in place and ridicule those who do is just ridiculous to my way of thinking. Who would really do that to their children when the time came?

Ahhh gotcha! And I agree. But then I don't lead an extremely wholesome moral life, so what do I know?

Well my DH is a pastors kid and we have been together since he was 16 and I was 13 and I can tell you that may be a saying but it's not always true. My DH has always been extremely responsible and never involved with "bad" things. Some people like to think the worst all the time. I guess you all just can't believe that there are actually people out here you really do lead extremely wholesome moral lives. I feel badly for you, I'm also done wasting my time here

Don't feel bad for me. And Toodles.

 

[punkin]

I don't provide money for DD's expenses at school. She has jobs and savings for that. However, I pay for an unlimited food plan. She has a roof over her head and food to eat. I hope she does party some at college. That's what college is for to some extent. I just don't want to fund the partying.

Now, as for food, I think about $500 per month for food is VERY generous if most of the food is being cooked and eaten in an apartment. However, if it is mostly restaurant/take out, then $500 is probably on the low side.

As for the "fight" on this thread, I understand that different parents have different ideas about what is right. In my family, I feel that it is my obligation to fund college and attendant expenses to the best of my ability. Why would I want to handicap my children starting out, if I can avoid it.

 

[DVCLiz]

The assumption that parents who can't afford or won't give their children a free ride to college have not put their child's education first is preposterous!
You are very blessed to be able to do that - as are your friends - but that doesn't make you a better parent.

And you have certainly made a giant assumption that isn't at all what I said. I was responding to a specific poster above me, not every parent in the United State with a college age kid. Good grief...

Tell me you are choosing ONE specific institution that you think will be free for your ten year old daughter to attend and I WILL call you short sighted.

Tell me you as a family have encouraged your child to get a college education and you will look at all the best options for her at the time AND finance it in the way that best fits your family's circumstances, and I will applaud you for it.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Ahhh gotcha! And I agree. But then I am not extrememly wholesome and moral, so what do I know?

You can come over and sit besides me. I graduated from a liberal arts college.....although it was a private presbyterian one....so don't sit too close and tarnish me

 

[tvguy]

Well, where you are is certainly different than where I am. Farmer's markets are fresher but the cheap food is at the grocery store. And, it was you who claimed to be 'dining' on 'macaroni and cheese' which would not be cheap at the Farmer's market. My girlfriend makes pasta and sells it at a Farmer's Market in Indianapolis for a small fortune. Why torture your children with impossible tasks? I understand telling your son he didn't have the funds for grilling steaks but right now, lobster is cheaper than bologna. kwim?

I just Googled "Kraft Macaroni and Cheese On Sale" and found this weeks Kroeger ad for it, 49 cents a box.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese tell me where I can get Lobster for less than bologna, Lobster is down to about $18 a pound, bologna is at $3.99 a pound.
I eat a lot of walnuts and raw almonds........walnuts are $9.99 a pound at the store, $5 to $6 a pound at the farmers market, almonds are $4 a pound at the farmers market, and $7.99 at the store.

 

[DVCLiz]

Well my DH is a pastors kid and we have been together since he was 16 and I was 13 and I can tell you that may be a saying but it's not always true. My DH has always been extremely responsible and never involved with "bad" things. Some people like to think the worst all the time. I guess you all just can't believe that there are actually people out here you really do lead extremely wholesome moral lives. I feel badly for you, I'm also done wasting my time here

With all due respect, there is no way in the world I would let my 13 year old daughter "be" with a 16 year old. Under any circumstances. You and I are miles apart as far as what we think is appropriate for children. No wonder you are ready to boot yours out the door at 18 - if they've been in relationships for five years by then they are more than ready to be on their own.

 

[DVCLiz]

Honestly, I think this argument always comes down to whether or not you consider your children "adults" at age 18. I certainly don't' as far as the financial responsibility I feel for them is concerned. In almost all other matters - drinking, sex, relationships, study habits, etc. I let them make their own choices without involving me.

But I think it's important to have the college experience - which in my family means four years at a traditional college AWAY from home - so I'm willing to make it happen for them. If I didn't think that was important I'd be doing some things differently.

I'm sending DD18 to a private Presbyterian liberal arts college next week - hope she has a wonderful experience which will include lots of partying!!!

 

[marmalade]

Holy Moly! I can't believe a thread on feeding a college freshman took such a turn for the negative.

 

[Northstar]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese tell me where I can get Lobster for less than bologna, Lobster is down to about $18 a pound, bologna is at $3.99 a pound.

This is kind of off topic, but lobster prices are crazy low this year. In Newfoundland, average market price is around US $5.70/pound right now. (source: http://www.ffaw.nf.ca/?Content=Fish_Prices/Lobster/Lobster_Prices_2012_NL)

Farmers' markets vary a lot. There are the upscale ones where the prices are higher than the supermarkets, but the produce is perfect... no spots, carefully washed, the very best of its type. Then there are the ones where the farmers sell whatever's in season out of the back of a truck, for whatever they can get for it.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

College of the Ozarks scares me!!

It sounds like an alternate universe:
must wear shoes
attend chapel
men cannot have earrings
they dictate mens' hair length
they actually have a rule that you have to walk on the sidewalk
no PDA or you get a violation
they can drug test you
women have to dress modestly
all tattoos must be covered
infractions are given for littering, swearing and insubordination

Do not see how this prepares a young adult for the real world - there is nothing real about that place. Seems more like prison for college students.

 

[DVCLiz]

College of the Ozarks scares me!!

It sounds like an alternate universe:
must wear shoes
attend chapel
men cannot have earrings
they dictate mens' hair length
they actually have a rule that you have to walk on the sidewalk
no PDA or you get a violation
they can drug test you
women have to dress modestly
all tattoos must be covered
infractions are given for littering, swearing and insubordination

Do not see how this prepares a young adult for the real world - there is nothing real about that place. Seems more like prison for college students.

That stuff doesn't really bother me - after all, Liberty and Bob Jones etc. are similar. What bothers me is a parent who would knowingly make a child limit herself to a school that had a 950 SAT as its admission criteria. Good grief...Talk about setting the bar low...

 

[Janepod]

I just Googled "Kraft Macaroni and Cheese On Sale" and found this weeks Kroeger ad for it, 49 cents a box.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese tell me where I can get Lobster for less than bologna, Lobster is down to about $18 a pound, bologna is at $3.99 a pound.
I eat a lot of walnuts and raw almonds........walnuts are $9.99 a pound at the store, $5 to $6 a pound at the farmers market, almonds are $4 a pound at the farmers market, and $7.99 at the store.

Here at the shore, live lobsters are $2.99/lb. Home in CT they were $3.99. We have been eating a *lot* of lobster this summer. But I don't recommend it for a dorm room!

 

[Janepod]

Holy Moly! I can't believe a thread on feeding a college freshman took such a turn for the negative.

I know! I am shocked, shocked! that a thread on the Dis would meander off topic and get heated.

 

[Swan4Me]

I am highly involved in my kids education, I am actually homeschooling. We have a local university that allows home-schooled children to enroll at the age of 16 and take classes as dual enrollment, meaning it counts as high school and college. As I said before I am encouraging my son to join the military, and my 10 year old DD is already looking at the College of the Ozarks where you work your way through and graduate debt free. I think it is silly for adults to be paying out thousands and thousands of dollars for their ADULT children to be going to school to better themselves. That does not mean I am not interested in my children's future. I put a lot of effort into teaching them and helping them to plan for their futures in a way that will not put anyone in debt and teach them to be responsible for themselves and not leave them thinking I am and never-ending piggy bank.

Your son is 8 and you already are pushing to go into the military?

But...if YOU were able to put yourself thru college-why cant they?
(PS-with the low wages jobs that hire kids make, Could you explain how you did it?)

 

[nchulka]

Serious question - do you like your children? You always speak of them being on their own at age 18. You said you refused to buy them bike helmets when they wanted them because you think helmets are stupid. You do not follow the standards as to booster seats in cars. Makes me wonder if you enjoy them.

Plus - why the double standard - why do you only talk to your son about military service? Can't your daughter do that too and pay for her schooling?

Since you asked, yes of course I love my kids! I am probably the most involved mom I know. I am always doing everything with them. I am a SAHM and revolve my entire life around being involved with my kids. At the pool just yesterday I saw mom after mom lounging reading a book, not me, I'm up there racing them down the slides and laughing with them. I don't just take them places and let them play, I'm right in there playing and having fun with them I've never heard my kids say they were bored once this summer because I jam pack their time and mine with so much fun that we are hardly ever home. On the occasional day (like today) that we're home everyone is crashing! We're leaving tomorrow for a 10 day family trip so today is packing day If anyone really wanted to go back and read my old posts you would see many about all the fun things my kids and I do together!

I really think that I am probably done with posting much around here. Apparently the dis just aren't my kind of people, I don't get most of you and you don't get me. In case anyone was trying to figure me out I'll save you the time that some have obviously spend looking into my dis past. Here it goes....

I am against drinking, drugs, smoking

I am against pre-marital sex, adultery, and homosexuality

I am for SAHMs

I am for letting your kids grow up and not overprotecting them from the world

I am against all the over the top safety gadgets that didn't exist 35 years ago when I was a kid and yet I survived, boosters for middle schoolers, bike helmets for little kids in the neighborhood (different story if you're a serious rider on busy roads, then you need a helmet. A 3 year old on a trike in the driveway, not so much!)

I am for raising dependable, self-reliant children, who take care of themselves

I am for having lots of fun along the way!!!


Just because I say I want my kids to take care of themselves financially does not mean I plan to sever ties with them! My mom and I hang out all the time, we are great friends. She is always with us at the pool, camping, float trips, trips to the county fair etc. The fact that she raised me to take care of myself and not NEED her doesn't mean I don't have a really close relationship with her. I'm sure it will be the same with my kids


PS I did tell my DD she could join the military too, she has no interest No double standard!

 

[Tink-aholic]

Well my DH is a pastors kid and we have been together since he was 16 and I was 13 and I can tell you that may be a saying but it's not always true. My DH has always been extremely responsible and never involved with "bad" things. Some people like to think the worst all the time. I guess you all just can't believe that there are actually people out here you really do lead extremely wholesome moral lives. I feel badly for you, I'm also done wasting my time here

Clearly, you think this means being judgemental and putting down anyone who thinks differently than you do.

That is not "wholesome" OR "moral" to me.

 

[FireDancer]

Putting the other ramblings aside it is possible to put yourself through school. I worked a full time job, took a full course load, got not a single penny of tuition from anyone else, and managed to graduate in three years without any debt and even a few grand in savings. I didn't fall for the fiction that you had to go away to school to get an education though. I went to a University in my city and lived with my grandma while I did it. I also took a few years between high school and college so I could get experience which allowed me to get a real job (as in one that lead to my career after college) instead of working for peanuts at some low wage job while I was doing it.

If you graduate with mounds of debt and no job prospects it is because of poor planning.

Ok, you guys get back to the nonsense.