Freshman "Funds"

[nchulka]

You have some real issues with those who had their way paid, my guess is envy.

Try disgust! I'm sick of coddled "children" thinking others should pay for their lives.

 

[nchulka]

:
I don't have a problem with teenagers getting drunk and stupid in college either.

That says volumes about you

 

[clm10308]

$500 seems a bit high to me as well. I spend around $5-600 per month for a family of 4 including household supplies, paper products, cleaning supplies, etc.

I like the idea of setting up the student with certain staples and supplies at the beginning of the semester.

Unfortunately, My DD would not be making herself meals with fresh fruits and vegetables when she goes away to school, just because she doesn't like those things. (she will eat them when I make her, but that is a whole different topic). She would much prefer packaged mac and cheeses, pastas.

I see nothing wrong withtalking about the budget before the kid goes away. Do you expect for him to be able to eat steak once a week or once a month? Do you expect sandwiches for lunch or fresh, hot food for every meal? How often are you thinking he will go out tto eat?

I would be more likely to low ball the amount at first, maybe give something like $250, with more for back up if needed. Then when more money is needed you can discuss how it was spent.

 

[Janepod]

That says volumes about you

What does it say about me? Please share.

 

[nchulka]

What does it say about me? Please share.

That you think drinking and partying and getting stupid are okay! Even in high school when I would overhear other kids talking about sneaking out and getting drunk, I would roll my eyes at how immature and stupid they were. As an adult you have obviously not outgrown it. I was always super responsible and did the right thing, I just have no tolerance for those who make bad choices!

 

[bdcp]

Try disgust! I'm sick of coddled "children" thinking others should pay for their lives.

I feel sorry for you, I really do. I think you have issues that involve anger. You apparently feel your way is superior all while in reality, you're jealous.

 

[ctinct]

I don't have a bad opinion of my own children, just kids in general who attend liberal arts colleges. My kids are not even close to college age yet. When I was in school, I had a job and never even thought of asking my parents to pay for anything, including my tuition. I thought of myself as an adult (which I was at 18) and I was proud to take care of my own life. I will not be paying for my kids education. I've talked to my son about joining the military to pay for school and talked to my daughter about the College of the Ozarks which is a work for your tuition school. You are assigned a job on campus and you graduate debt free. It's also a very strict Christian college, so no partying going on there

Or they could both join the military, both go to the College of the Ozarks, or your daughter could join the military and your son could go to the College of the Ozarks.

 

[AddictedtoDoleWhip]

Try disgust! I'm sick of coddled "children" thinking others should pay for their lives.

I can see that you have a problem with the green-eyed monster. I feel sorry for you and your judgmental high horsed ways and your children.

 

[Janepod]

That you think drinking and partying and getting stupid are okay! Even in high school when I would overhear other kids talking about sneaking out and getting drunk, I would roll my eyes at how immature and stupid they were. As an adult you have obviously not outgrown it. I was always super responsible and did the right thing, I just have no tolerance for those who make bad choices!

Yes, I already said "I don't have a problem with teenagers getting drunk and stupid in college either." Explain how this is a bad choice.

FWIW, I also believe in wearing bikinis, the right to choose, and that it's okay to have premarital sex. And if I have a daughter, I will pay for her wedding.

 

[mnrose]

Wow...some pretty generous parents here with food money. I would think, honestly, that $100 a week (or 400 a month) would be MORE than sufficient, if budgeted properly. These are adults. It's time for them to figure this stuff out, if they haven't already. We feed my family of 4 on slightly more than $400 a month. No way does ONE person need more than that.

I'm one of those people who 100% financed my own education. My parents never gave me one dime toward tuition or my living expenses. Nothing. I survived just fine, thank you very much. And, I worked during college every year, and every summer. I graduated at the very top of my college class, and in the top 10 of my law school class. Somehow I found time to study and work. It's not that hard!

Because we are financially better off than our parents, we will finance quite a bit of our kids college costs (tuition and some room and board). We have made clear, however, that they will be expected to work and support some of their expenses. Could we pay 100%? Sure. Will we? No. I believe the college years are the perfect ones to learn to be self sufficient (with some cushion from mom and dad). It's not the time to simply continue sucking off mom and dad.

 

[bdcp]

$500 seems a bit high to me as well. I spend around $5-600 per month for a family of 4 including household supplies, paper products, cleaning supplies, etc.

I like the idea of setting up the student with certain staples and supplies at the beginning of the semester.

Unfortunately, My DD would not be making herself meals with fresh fruits and vegetables when she goes away to school, just because she doesn't like those things. (she will eat them when I make her, but that is a whole different topic). She would much prefer packaged mac and cheeses, pastas.

I see nothing wrong withtalking about the budget before the kid goes away. Do you expect for him to be able to eat steak once a week or once a month? Do you expect sandwiches for lunch or fresh, hot food for every meal? How often are you thinking he will go out tto eat?

I would be more likely to low ball the amount at first, maybe give something like $250, with more for back up if needed. Then when more money is needed you can discuss how it was spent.

About the food, my youngest DS lived on pizza while in college and still eats a lot of it (according to his gf). He does eat salad, fruit and vegs, but the reality is, quick, easy meals are what college students will make most of the time. Oldest DS was pretty much the same, but both eat better now as most adults learn to do.

Funny thing is, for kds who grew up with "everything" they're both pretty tight with a buck and live well within their means. What terrible parents we were/are.

 

[luvmy3]

This is just silly, so I won't dignify any of it by taking it seriously, but I will say that every college student I personally have known in the last seven years - that covers the time period my oldest daughter went to school and graduated, then joined the workforce -had all college and other expenses completely paid for by parents, and every single one has successfully found employment and worked for three years or has gone on to get a Master's degree and is either employed or in the last year of grad school.

Every single one of those families has put education for their children first and made the necessary plans to fund it. Every single student has excelled because they know what the family's expectations are. I feel sad for kids who go through life without parents involved in their higher education goals. I think that would be a terrible roadblock in the way of success.

And its silly to think that parents who don't financially support their adult children while they are in college aren't involved in their higher education goals. Some of us just have the expectation that our kids learn to be independent by letting them be. And FTR, I know plenty of now adults who paid their own way through college, and worked and managed to get their Masters, some even their PhD, with very little or no financial support from mommy and daddy.

As far as the food money, I'd help them shop and figure out what they need and that is what I would send and let them do their own budgeting so they can learn how to make it last and not starve. They better be able to figure it out by the time they reach college, and being a male makes no difference.
If they need more, they can use the money the make a their own job (that they will be required to have).

 

[Princess Dolly]

Try disgust! I'm sick of coddled "children" thinking others should pay for their lives.

That you think drinking and partying and getting stupid are okay! Even in high school when I would overhear other kids talking about sneaking out and getting drunk, I would roll my eyes at how immature and stupid they were. As an adult you have obviously not outgrown it. I was always super responsible and did the right thing, I just have no tolerance for those who make bad choices!

Drinking and partying aren't bad choices, nor is it indictive of not being a responsible person.

With regard to food money: I did not have my own car at college and I lived on campus for most of my college career. That made it more difficult.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I don't have a bad opinion of my own children, just kids in general who attend liberal arts colleges. My kids are not even close to college age yet. When I was in school, I had a job and never even thought of asking my parents to pay for anything, including my tuition. I thought of myself as an adult (which I was at 18) and I was proud to take care of my own life. I will not be paying for my kids education. I've talked to my son about joining the military to pay for school and talked to my daughter about the College of the Ozarks which is a work for your tuition school. You are assigned a job on campus and you graduate debt free. It's also a very strict Christian college, so no partying going on there

Ummm you hate liberal arts colleges but want your daughter to attend one?

I am very familiar with College of the Ozarks and I can promise with a capital P that those kids party and drink even though it is a presbyterian school

 

[luvmy3]

Wow...some pretty generous parents here with food money. I would think, honestly, that $100 a week (or 400 a month) would be MORE than sufficient, if budgeted properly. These are adults. It's time for them to figure this stuff out, if they haven't already. We feed my family of 4 on slightly more than $400 a month. No way does ONE person need more than that.

I'm one of those people who 100% financed my own education. My parents never gave me one dime toward tuition or my living expenses. Nothing. I survived just fine, thank you very much. And, I worked during college every year, and every summer. I graduated at the very top of my college class, and in the top 10 of my law school class. Somehow I found time to study and work. It's not that hard!

Because we are financially better off than our parents, we will finance quite a bit of our kids college costs (tuition and some room and board). We have made clear, however, that they will be expected to work and support some of their expenses. Could we pay 100%? Sure. Will we? No. I believe the college years are the perfect ones to learn to be self sufficient (with some cushion from mom and dad). It's not the time to simply continue sucking off mom and dad.

 

[Princess Dolly]

Ummm you hate liberal arts colleges but want your daughter to attend one?

I am very familiar with College of the Ozarks and I can promise with a capital P that those kids party and drink even though it is a presbyterian school

Don't they say Preacher's kids are the worst when it comes to partying? I bet a school like that would have a bunch of them. All those PKs. Watch out!

 

[Northstar]

You know best what kinds of food, and how much food, your kid typically eats. Why not work out an approximation starting from that?

Also, any amount of money that you contribute will be used creatively by a student. Sometimes, it seems like it's worth it to eat steak and ice cream bars one night, then scrimp along on peanut butter sandwiches for a week. Sometimes, fun clothes or entertainment seems like a better investment than food. Money you give for food isn't always going to be spent on healthy, nutritious, reasonably-priced food. Don't think that you can make sure your student will feed himself well by giving him ample money!

Personally, I favor the school of thought that says give 'em enough so they can buy enough peanut butter and apples not to starve, then let them make their case for why they need more money if that's not enough.

My parents always tried to give me MORE money than I needed for food, because my mom apparently had these visions of me starving in a garret huddled over my books. It wasn't a good idea. I was really responsible about money, so I didn't blow it on living large, but knowing I had extra money sitting around in the bank account tormented me with temptation.

 

[Hannathy]

That you think drinking and partying and getting stupid are okay! Even in high school when I would overhear other kids talking about sneaking out and getting drunk, I would roll my eyes at how immature and stupid they were. As an adult you have obviously not outgrown it. I was always super responsible and did the right thing, I just have no tolerance for those who make bad choices!

There is a huge difference in going to a party and getting stupid! Going to a party isn't a bad choice. There is nothing to outgrow.

As far as your DS going to the military, I also find it insulting that you are only suggesting this for your DS-what about your DD? I hope you realize they take very few kids right out of high school any more? they don't need very many "grunts" so are looking for kids with college or tech school. So you better have a back up plan for him.

 

[nchulka]

Don't they say Preacher's kids are the worst when it comes to partying? I bet a school like that would have a bunch of them. All those PKs. Watch out!

Well my DH is a pastors kid and we have been together since he was 16 and I was 13 and I can tell you that may be a saying but it's not always true. My DH has always been extremely responsible and never involved with "bad" things. Some people like to think the worst all the time. I guess you all just can't believe that there are actually people out here you really do lead extremely wholesome moral lives. I feel badly for you, I'm also done wasting my time here

 

[Hannathy]

Don't they say Preacher's kids are the worst when it comes to partying? I bet a school like that would have a bunch of them. All those PKs. Watch out!

Yep and the kids who lived under the tightest reigns run wild the most!

Kinda like you can always tell the kids who don't get cookies at home by the way they go crazy when offered them away from the parents.