For people with fertility issues....

[ZachnElli]

I suffered from multiple miscarriages, 5 when we chose adoption. I've had 7 now. Anywho, we adopted domestically without any problems. Birthparents signed away their rights 48 hours after he was born. He then went to a foster mommy for 4 days and then she handed him to us! 4 1/2 years of miscarriages,ttc, testing, poking and proding with no answers. 6 months from our first informational meeting for adoption until we held our son!

 

[EMom]

I had PCOS, among other issues. We did 4 IVFs and DH and I produced gorgeous, healthy looking embryos. Sounds good, huh? But I had a miscarriage all 4 times. They ran every test in the book, even on the fetal tissue, but found nothing to explain it. Maybe I was just unlucky or maybe there was something wrong that they just couldn't yet diagnose.

I figured I WOULD get pregnant again and I WOULD miscarry. Who needs that? I actually had two women offer to carry a baby for me, provided they did not have to use their own eggs. But if DH and I used my eggs, what if there was an undiagnosed issue that had caused my miscarriages? The surrogate would probably miscarry too and we'd be out a ton of money. (Money was running low by this point.) If we used a donor egg, then that blew the whole point of creating a child that was a combo of the two of us. If we couldn't have that dream without having to go to the extreme of using a surrogate for a chance at a pregnancy, then why even bother? Why not just go straight to adoption? After all, with adoption, we could guarantee we would get a baby......not just have a CHANCE at a baby.

That was our reasoning. I was sick of miscarriages and sick of "maybe this time." I wanted a baby YESTERDAY. At that point, I didn't give a rat's hiney if there was any bio connection at all. The connection in your heart is what matters. I needed a baby in my arms.

We adopted in 8 months, from first piece of paperwork to getting the baby. DD is amazing and more than we could have ever hoped for. DH jokes that she's probably better than any bio kid we would have produced. If I could go back in time and have one of those pregnancies produce a baby, I wouldn't do it, because then I would not have DD. And that is something I cannot bear to think about. She has our hearts in her hands. Oddly enough, DD looks so much like us that when people find out she's adopted they often think we're joking. So when we said goodbye to the dream of a child that would look like a combo of the two of us, God must have chuckled knowing which child we were getting.

Anyway, we never looked back and we were never happier and more relieved. Within months, instead of sitting in an RE's office, I was pushing a stroller, buying baby clothes and reading books to my precious child.

Good luck to you.