For parents of ADHD kids

[mjkacmom]

First of all, it was wrong of your friend to give you that information! I'm sure teachers try to give as much information as they can to a sub - I'm sure she wasn't trying to be mean.

Ds15 is medicated, and he struggles with organization, forgetting assignments, making stupid mistakes on tests - these are textbook ADHD problems. I know of some who had 504's in elementary, but not many by the time they got to high school. In elementary, they might have assignments written down, be able to have an extra set of textbooks at home, take state testing in a small quiet group... I've never heard of any of these kids taking oral tests, or have a special behavior chart.

Why don't you meet with the teacher, and ask her how she thinks the medication is working, and let her know if you change it up, so she can give feedback.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I'm only mentioning this because her grades were fine before and it seems she's suddenly developed a problem turning in assignments and with tests. You mentioned your husband, her father I assume, has been working on a big project since January and that's when her grades started to drop. Could that have something to do with the changes in her school work? It just seems that something has changed since she was diagnosed. I know you mentioned meds but if her father is very busy with work and that's unusual, she could be upset and that could be affecting (effectinh? I never remember) her grades.

 

[MomRN]

My ds (7) has Tourette Syndrome, ADHD, and anxiety.

Second grade has been difficult. About a month ago, after hearing students and a teacher were hearing him tic and insisting he stop I started the initiation of awareness. I contacted the special education district, the school psychologist, the primary special education teacher, his primary teacher, and the principal. After some evaluations, they found him above intelligence- but his grades do not reflect that. At this time they are trying some "informal" accommodations (allowing him to test in a quiet room, having a timer).

They say he does not qualify for an IEP (although I disagree and believe he does) and are wanting to put off the 504. I am biting my tongue and allowing things to take their course. Evaluating. Keeping records.

If things aren't better by 3rd grade I proceed to the next step. If they become worse this year I will also proceed.

However, I mention this because while I would also suggest a 504, for some schools it's more difficult to obtain than what you would think.

I would suggest starting with the school psychologist.

 

[Ceila]

I'm only mentioning this because her grades were fine before and it seems she's suddenly developed a problem turning in assignments and with tests. You mentioned your husband, her father I assume, has been working on a big project since January and that's when her grades started to drop. Could that have something to do with the changes in her school work? It just seems that something has changed since she was diagnosed. I know you mentioned meds but if her father is very busy with work and that's unusual, she could be upset and that could be affecting (effectinh? I never remember) her grades.

I forgot about that tidbit in the OP. That could affect her daughter's behavior as well. There's a lot to look at before jumping on the "teacher is awful" bandwagon.

 

[taylor3297]

My ds (7) has Tourette Syndrome, ADHD, and anxiety.

Second grade has been difficult. About a month ago, after hearing students and a teacher were hearing him tic and insisting he stop I started the initiation of awareness. I contacted the special education district, the school psychologist, the primary special education teacher, his primary teacher, and the principal. After some evaluations, they found him above intelligence- but his grades do not reflect that. At this time they are trying some "informal" accommodations (allowing him to test in a quiet room, having a timer).

They say he does not qualify for an IEP (although I disagree and believe he does) and are wanting to put off the 504. I am biting my tongue and allowing things to take their course. Evaluating. Keeping records.

If things aren't better by 3rd grade I proceed to the next step. If they become worse this year I will also proceed.

However, I mention this because while I would also suggest a 504, for some schools it's more difficult to obtain than what you would think.

I would suggest starting with the school psychologist.

A 504 should not be hard to obtain. If this is occurring then someone is not wanting to do their job. You don't need any documentation for a 504, just the request.

 

[TheDeputysWife]

We had her tested because of the behavioral problems at school and with her classmates. She has always struggled with impulse control, interrupting, moving 100mph, etc. Her good grades have been the 1 thing that doesn't fit, but according to her therapist, it's because DD's intelligence was able to overcome all the other stuff. That's what's so hard right now, how all of a sudden, her grades have dropped so much. Her teacher says it's because of missing assignments (which DD has admitted to losing) and low test scores. I will help DD at home study for her quiz and she knows her stuff. But she races through the test, so she's making silly mistakes.

I have dealt with almost this exact situation. My DS is 9. He is very smart like your DD. His grades are great, his classroom behavior is a struggle. He was diagnosed with ADHD as well as Aspergers (or as its now just considered he's on the autism spectrum). He also has issues of rushing through tests and forgetting to bring home hw. It then becomes an issue not only at school but at home as well. I don't know when your DD started her meds but I will tell you they can make a drastic change in her behavior and from my experience its most often not a good change. I always dread when the Dr. suggests changing his dosage or even his brand. It almost always is a miserable month for us until everything levels out and he goes back for his follow-up evaluation. Also remember too that she's at that age where hormones are kicking in and is just becoming pre-teen so that can also have a big impact on the effects of her medication. I have done tons of research on the meds my DS is on and non-medication alternatives. He does have IEP in place at school that allows him to have sensory breaks, but he's only allowed 2 per day. This helps him really pay attention to his behaviors and learn to control himself. Try to find out what's causing your DD to act out in class. That was a huge help for us. Knowing that all behavior is purposeful, we decided to look into what was triggering his acting out. And what we found was that he was getting bored. He had really great grades and was more advanced in certain subjects than other kids and so when the teacher was spending more time on things he had already mastered, he would act out to get attention, or because he wanted something to do. After we figured this out adding sensory breaks curbed his behavior.

The biggest advice I can give you is research the medication/side effects. Ask for help from the counselor. Find alternatives to help curb behavior. But most importantly don't ever let her diagnosis become an excuse.

 

[momz]

I feel for you. Your child may be what is considered twice exceptional. That is high ability along with ADHD. Their high ability masks the ADHD...for a time.

I have been there and done that. I wish I could share a positive experience when dealing with the school system. But, what I have found is that once the child meets the bench mark, there is no more effort put into educating them. It's the kids that are performing below the benchmark who get the resources.

So...for a high ability kid, that means they are stuck in a rut. Any "challenging work" that comes their way is just "more" work...not anything new per say. And, they are expected to be able to do this independantly. So, they are bored out of their minds, and expected to sit quietly and do their work independantly. Put a kid with ADHD in this group and then the kid gets labeled as defiant. When in reality, they are BORED BORED BORED, and their behavior is an attempt to occupy their numbed mind.

It gets better when they get out of elementary. Because that is when the school starts to seperate the kids according to ability. But, until then, the older elementary kids in this situation are NOT someone the teachers enjoy having in class. They are not the quiet compliant teacher's pet kind of kid.

As far as the counselor is concerned: my recent experience with a meeting involving the teacher, the counselor, myself and my son revealed that "counselor" (at least in our school) is just a note taker/records keeper kind of person, she is not certified in anything, she just writes reports and organizes records. She had no insight whatsoever.

As much as I hate it, I have had to become one of "those moms". If I leave it up to the school, my child's needs are not met. So, I intentionally meet with the teacher every few weeks. This way she knows I am keeping her accountable to at least putting a little attention towards DS. If I wasn't meeting with her, I truely think he would be even more ignored than he currently is.

 

[DipsyDoodles]

It varies so much with teachers and what they're willing to do.

I honestly think the best bet would be to get an IEP for your daughter. You get to decide on what accommodations are needed (along with your daughter's teacher, the psychologist, etc) and they HAVE to do it, then. Some common accommodations are longer time to do tests or finish work, reduced workload (especially if the child shows mastery), movement breaks, organizational help, etc.

I know in our state you can only be put on an IEP after extensive testing identifies a specific learning disability. ADD/ADHD is not considered a learning disability.

 

[alicat8]

You can request a 504 meeting at any time, and the school has to set up a meeting. It sounds like she will not qualify for an IEP, because you need to qualify for special ed servicing, and if she was getting As and Bs, I doubt that she would qualify.

ETA-Also, as an elementary school teacher, I have a MAJOR problem with a teacher basing grades on missing assignments. They're supposed to be graded on what they've learned and what they are capable of doing, not what they remember to hand in... If you're going to complain about anything, I'd go with that first

 

[Liberty Belle]

I feel for you. Your child may be what is considered twice exceptional. That is high ability along with ADHD. Their high ability masks the ADHD...for a time.

I have been there and done that. I wish I could share a positive experience when dealing with the school system. But, what I have found is that once the child meets the bench mark, there is no more effort put into educating them. It's the kids that are performing below the benchmark who get the resources.

So...for a high ability kid, that means they are stuck in a rut. Any "challenging work" that comes their way is just "more" work...not anything new per say. And, they are expected to be able to do this independantly. So, they are bored out of their minds, and expected to sit quietly and do their work independantly. Put a kid with ADHD in this group and then the kid gets labeled as defiant. When in reality, they are BORED BORED BORED, and their behavior is an attempt to occupy their numbed mind.

It gets better when they get out of elementary. Because that is when the school starts to seperate the kids according to ability. But, until then, the older elementary kids in this situation are NOT someone the teachers enjoy having in class. They are not the quiet compliant teacher's pet kind of kid.

As far as the counselor is concerned: my recent experience with a meeting involving the teacher, the counselor, myself and my son revealed that "counselor" (at least in our school) is just a note taker/records keeper kind of person, she is not certified in anything, she just writes reports and organizes records. She had no insight whatsoever.

As much as I hate it, I have had to become one of "those moms". If I leave it up to the school, my child's needs are not met. So, I intentionally meet with the teacher every few weeks. This way she knows I am keeping her accountable to at least putting a little attention towards DS. If I wasn't meeting with her, I truely think he would be even more ignored than he currently is.

I agree. My son has ADHD and an IQ in the "superior" range. He also has SPD (so he has a lot of traits that children with Autism have), anxiety, and a pretty severe writing disability. His first, second, and third grades were a nightmare. Fourth grade he changed schools to an absolutely wonderful school that he, unfortunately, has to leave this year to go on to middle school. It's a scary time.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I know in our state you can only be put on an IEP after extensive testing identifies a specific learning disability. ADD/ADHD is not considered a learning disability.

Right, but depending on how severe the ADHD is, there is often an LD with it. Also, it depends on the child's IQ. I don't think in any state you can get an IEP without extensive testing.
ETA: You can also get an OHI IEP if behavior stemming from the ADHD is affecting academics. You do not need a specific learning disability.

 

[teacherforhi]

A 504 should not be hard to obtain. If this is occurring then someone is not wanting to do their job. You don't need any documentation for a 504, just the request.

You absolutely DO need documentation for a 504. There has to be a reason why the child needs accommodations/modifications in the classroom. Can you imagine otherwise? Every parent who didn't want their child to take responsibility for their own actions would be demanding one. (Not saying that about the OP, just addressing this post.)

I honestly would focus on figuring out why things have taken a turn for the worse since the diagnosis. I personally don't think it's realistic to ask the teacher to give the child oral tests on a regular basis. In NC, at least, that wouldn't be an option for state testing at the end of the year unless the child had a physical disability which prevented her from taking the test independently.

 

[writermommy6]

I also was thinking about you saying she has had consistent behavior issues. My oldest started getting in trouble a lot suddenly and I realize that it was because she was bored out of her mind. I would really look at all the angles. Hope everything works out.

 

[aaarcher86]

You absolutely DO need documentation for a 504. There has to be a reason why the child needs accommodations/modifications in the classroom. Can you imagine otherwise? Every parent who didn't want their child to take responsibility for their own actions would be demanding one. (Not saying that about the OP, just addressing this post.) I honestly would focus on figuring out why things have taken a turn for the worse since the diagnosis. I personally don't think it's realistic to ask the teacher to give the child oral tests on a regular basis. In NC, at least, that wouldn't be an option for state testing at the end of the year unless the child had a physical disability which prevented her from taking the test independently.

Right?!

The school my kids are switching to won't even give a 504/IEP without professional testing through the school system.

 

[mguilford1]

ADD/ADHD is considered a disability under other health impairment if that is found to be true through testing. Just because a student is smart, alot of adhd kids have high IQs, doesnt not mean they do not have a learning disability. You need to look up wright's Law on the internet it is a huge special ed. web site and do a lot of reading. For my granddaughter I studied and read constantly about this because my son who is now 23 was turned down for special ed. because he was smart! even though he had ADHD and I was told by doctors he needed an IEP. School said no and I did nothing. He has high IQ but dropped out of high school and started working at 15. Well we started with the same thing with my granddaughter (7 not his child) but I did not take no for an answer and told school I was filing a complaint with dept. of Ed. Huh funny before I could they retested her and she qualified for Spec. Ed for lots of reasons! Doesnt matter if it follows her through school, she will make it through school and be very successful because of her hard work and me not letting her down! You need to know the laws! In my state a 504 is recomendations and IEP is like Law you want IEP if she qualifies dont settle for less than she needs. I also helped my handicap nephew in a wheelchair get the handicap playground that is required by law! I wasnt being demanding or unreasonable this was a brand new school they built for handicap and all other children but never made playground accessible, my nephew was pushed to the edge of playground to watch kids play. My sister fought for months with school board and everything. I quoted a few pages from wrights law and emailed all school board members and within a month they agreed to fix playground! GOOD LUCK and stand up for your daughter. PS..I was also confused about the fact she was an A/B student until diagnosis?

 

[teacherforhi]

ADD/ADHD is considered a disability under other health impairment if that is found to be true through testing.

I'm just addressing this part of your post. Just the diagnosis of ADD/ADHD does not guarantee a student special education services. The diagnosis CAN lead to a category of other health impaired. However, you have to demonstrate an adverse effect on education that can be addressed through specially designed instruction. In the OP's case, while there does seem to be an adverse effect, there's no specially designed instruction that is going to help homework be turned in or stop the child from rushing through her tests.

There are students diagnosed with ADHD that is so severe that the do require different instruction in order to best learn in the classroom. Just based on the OP, it doesn't seem as if this is the case for this particular child.

 

[mguilford1]

"In the OP's case, while there does seem to be an adverse effect, there's no specially designed instruction that is going to help homework be turned in or stop the child from rushing through her tests."

I dont believe this to be true there is always something that can be done if there is an adverse effect on her learning. My granddaughter is given either verbal or visual ques that class will be over in 10 minutes, at 5 minutes another que to say start gathering homework and take care of things so that she is not rushed. She also has a special folder that is just for homework that I check every night and the teacher checks every morning. This is all training her brain so that at some point she will not need this accomodation. Also through testing you will learn why she "hurries" through tests and depending on what they find they will adjust these things also. For my granddaughter there are things that distract her people, light, noise (sensory issues which some ADHD kids have/read the book Out of Sync child). She has squeeze balls and fidgits on her desk so if her brain wanders she squeezes them and gets back on track. If she needs to leave her desk to go to hall to release energy they have a signal for that. Until the testing is done no one will ever know what is going on with her. And if you ask for special Ed testing they have to do it. People are always quick to say she doesnt need it, we cant do it, you want special treatment and the list goes on and on, but if you really believe there is an issue stick to your guns. My granddaughter is getting better everyday and she will have to work on this stuff the rest of her life, but I am so thankful she has the understanding teacher she has!!!

 

[mguilford1]

What is reasonable/ fair to expect from your child's teacher?

My 4th grade daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in mid-December. She is seeing a counselor and is taking medication. We've had a hard time finding the right dosage, so we are still in the process of tweaking her meds to find what works for her. I've talked to her teacher and explained everything.

I don't know what to do now. When DD was first diagnosed, her grades were A's and B's. Since the start of the new marking period, in January, her grades have drastically dropped, mainly due to losing homework or classroom assignments and low test grades. Looking at her tests, I see that most of her wrong answers were silly mistakes, ones that happen when you go too fast. I talked to her teacher to see if DD would do better with oral testing, thinking it would help slow her down. Her teacher said that oral testing is for kids with learning disabilities or special ed. Since DD is neither, her teacher doesn't think it's necessary for DD. She said DD is one of the brightest students she's ever had in 17 years of teaching, but her grades are not reflecting her intelligence. Obviously, that's what my concern is, so I don't understand why her teacher isn't willing to try different things to help DD's test scores improve. She has to take the statewide standardized tests in April and I'm worried that she won't pass those.

DD and I came up with a plan to help her remember her homework, but it's not working because she said she's rushed at the end of the day to gather her things and so she forgets the plan we have in place because she's in a hurry. I asked her teacher about that and her teacher said that the students only have a few minutes to collect their things because she wants to maximize their learning time.

Bottom line is, I feel like DD's teacher is not very willing to make accommodations for DD. But, I don't want to be one of those parents who expects the world to adjust to her daughter. I just want what's fair for any child with ADHD. There is no classroom behavioral chart for DD because her teacher can't meet for more than 15 minutes at a time to create one with me and she says that DD is just choosing to not behave. I'm just feeling really frustrated right now because DD's grades are now C's and D's and her peer relationships are in shambles. It's at the point now where she asks me everyday to homeschool her. I don't know where to go from here.

Some of what I don't know is how much does the medication help with the above mentioned problems? Do I now go to the school counselor with my concerns since the teacher is not helpful? Or am I expecting too much from the teacher? I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated right now I'm at a standstill because I just don't know what to do.

Usually DH is here to help, but he's an IT Project Manager working on a major project, so he's been working 60-70 hour weeks since January. The project will be over at the end of March, so he should be back to normal hours then. But, in the meantime everything is on me. Are there any good books or websites that can point me in the right direction with what to do to help DD at school and with her social skills?

Thank you so much to anyone who can help.

I am sorry to keep posting this issue is very dear to my heart because I so let my son down by listening to people i thought were "experts" instead of our private Doctor. After reading this again it reminded me of some things I was told by Doctors. A lot of times with ADHD especially in girls it goes undiagnosed until 3rd or 4th grade when things are more difficult, structured, organized, demanding, social issues, anxiety etc. All these learning disabilities they could hide or compensate for can no longer be hidden. Maybe this is whats happening here. You really need to research if you think she has a learning disability dont let anyone stop you if you truly believe. It is not going to hurt anything for her to be tested and for you to get answers. 99% of kids just want to make others happy and be liked so I would be surprised if she is doing this "on purpose"! Good Luck to you and I will only read others responses with no replies after this.

Social skills..my granddaughter has OT at school, private OT, friendship groups for social thinking and a counselor. After reading Out of Sync child I believe her SeNSORY DISORDER symptoms are worse than the ADHD (a lot of symptoms similar). I go to my local library they have tons of good books on ADHD and Sensory Disorder. The librarian will help you find them!

 

[JoiseyMom]

OMG is this thread full of mis-information.

OP, do not call the school. Send in WRITING to the teacher and to the school counselor that you are requesting your child be evaluated for an IEP. They an not deny this and they will have to do the testing. FIGHT for yiur child. Your child at minimum needs a 504.

My DD17 got a 504 for her ADHD in 3rd grade. She still has it now. She has had different accomodations over the past years, but one she still has is extra time on exams.

My DS12 has an IEP and he tried to get him evaluated before he went to 1st grade (he was in private kindergarten), but they weren't allowed to do it until he was in district. They were able to observe him in his kindergarten class and he was placed in an excellent class with 2 teachers who were the best teachers I have ever encountered in my 30 years of being a parent.

Every year we would meet for both the 504 and IEP. My son was initially Other Health Impaired in first grade and then changed in 6th grade. My son's IQ is very high, he would have tested higher if his ADHD hadn't interfered. His grades are usually all A's and B's and even in the highest math class. He excels despite his ADHD. We take a very active role in his special ed issues. And he has no LD issues what so ever. His diagnosis has also changed over the years too.

Even though my daughter had a 504, she was selected for the John's Hopkins program. She also got into her first choice (only) of college.

My DS will be applying to several special academic High School programs next year.

Getting the right meds and then dosage is a struggle. We still struggle with that today, since at times the meds stop working and you have to start over again. Good luck, but your child needs at least a 504 in place.

And you friend did the right thing telling you what that teacher had written.

Good luck!

Also, look up special ed in your state. You will come across the info that gives you your rights and you will know what they can say yes or no to.

 

[peggyo9]

What is reasonable/ fair to expect from your child's teacher? My 4th grade daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in mid-December. She is seeing a counselor and is taking medication. We've had a hard time finding the right dosage, so we are still in the process of tweaking her meds to find what works for her. I've talked to her teacher and explained everything. I don't know what to do now. When DD was first diagnosed, her grades were A's and B's. Since the start of the new marking period, in January, her grades have drastically dropped, mainly due to losing homework or classroom assignments and low test grades. Looking at her tests, I see that most of her wrong answers were silly mistakes, ones that happen when you go too fast. I talked to her teacher to see if DD would do better with oral testing, thinking it would help slow her down. Her teacher said that oral testing is for kids with learning disabilities or special ed. Since DD is neither, her teacher doesn't think it's necessary for DD. She said DD is one of the brightest students she's ever had in 17 years of teaching, but her grades are not reflecting her intelligence. Obviously, that's what my concern is, so I don't understand why her teacher isn't willing to try different things to help DD's test scores improve. She has to take the statewide standardized tests in April and I'm worried that she won't pass those. DD and I came up with a plan to help her remember her homework, but it's not working because she said she's rushed at the end of the day to gather her things and so she forgets the plan we have in place because she's in a hurry. I asked her teacher about that and her teacher said that the students only have a few minutes to collect their things because she wants to maximize their learning time. Bottom line is, I feel like DD's teacher is not very willing to make accommodations for DD. But, I don't want to be one of those parents who expects the world to adjust to her daughter. I just want what's fair for any child with ADHD. There is no classroom behavioral chart for DD because her teacher can't meet for more than 15 minutes at a time to create one with me and she says that DD is just choosing to not behave. I'm just feeling really frustrated right now because DD's grades are now C's and D's and her peer relationships are in shambles. It's at the point now where she asks me everyday to homeschool her. I don't know where to go from here. Some of what I don't know is how much does the medication help with the above mentioned problems? Do I now go to the school counselor with my concerns since the teacher is not helpful? Or am I expecting too much from the teacher? I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated right now I'm at a standstill because I just don't know what to do. Usually DH is here to help, but he's an IT Project Manager working on a major project, so he's been working 60-70 hour weeks since January. The project will be over at the end of March, so he should be back to normal hours then. But, in the meantime everything is on me. Are there any good books or websites that can point me in the right direction with what to do to help DD at school and with her social skills? Thank you so much to anyone who can help.

Definitely talk to her counselor! ADHD IS a learning disability and she can get an IEP (Individual Education Plan). I went through all of this with my daughter. In NY anyway, we were able to get an advocate to help out. It's hard when you haven't been through the process. Our daughter is also very bright (tests at genius level) but was doing very poorly in school. Read everything you can about ADHD! We had problems with getting meds right and after a few months on Adderall she became physically aggressive. She was on & off it a few times and all 3 times the results were the same. VERY IMPORTANT to have a teacher that works with you and your child! Change teachers if you don't see a change in the present teacher. Your child's self esteem and future are at risk here! Best of luck!